"Fortunately, Unfortunately"

Scooter-12

Fortunately, the hotel offered us use of their pool for the afternoon.

ruthbru

Unfortunately, some of the other guests complained about our wild antics in the water.

squidwitch42

fortunately, there was a production company nearby filming "Mermans Gone Wild, " so we were able to blend in

ruthbru

Unfortunately, my swimsuit unraveled as I was doing a double back flip off the high dive.

hbcheryl

Fortunately people were busy watching the tv production crew and so my swimsuit mishap went unnoticed.

squidwitch42

Unfortunately, there was another TV affiliate/gossip rag that was more than happy to film my swimsuit disaster, and I was the top story on the internet within hours....

ruthbru

Fortunately, all the publicity generated interest in my magnificent figure and I was offered big bucks to do a Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Edition modeling gig. 

hbcheryl

Unfortunately I celebrated a little too much with cream cakes and chocolate and gained a few pounds.

squidwitch42

Fortunately,

I am now being scouted out by Vogue to be their new "plus sized model...."

ruthbru

Unfortunately, they gave the job to Kirstie Alley.

squidwitch42

LOLOLOLOL!!!!!

Anonymous

Fortunately Kirstie Alley is my best friend and she me her manager and I got paid big bucks.

ruthbru

Unfortunately, Kirstie was often without her purse, and kept bumming money off me to buy snacks.

squidwitch42

Fortunately,

Kirstie also stole food off my plate, and I was soon back to my fabulous svelte figure, when  Vogue booked me for their "Me and My Merman" photo spread.

ruthbru

Unfortunately, the mermen had felt neglected and refused to pose for the shoot.

speech529

Fortunately, the Chippendales were available!

ruthbru

Unfortunately,I didn't have any cash to stuff in their G-Strings.

lovemygarden

Fortunately, I was able to snag some play-money from a group of kids sitting in a corner playing Monopoly.

ruthbru

Unfortunately the Chippendales could tell that it was funny money, and they told ME where to stuff it!

lovemygarden

Fortunately, one of the kids (who happened to be Bernie Madoff's secret partner's granddaughter) felt sorry for me and gave me the number of Grandpa's Swiss Bank Account.

ruthbru

Unfortunately, the FBI was monitering that account and nabbed me when I tried to make a withdrawl.

hbcheryl

Fortunately I became a snitch, gave up the kid to the FBI who in turn gave up grandpa and now I'm going to get a hefty reward from Uncle Sam.

ruthbru

Unfortunately, they  plan to TAX the reward!

lovemygarden

Fortunately, there was enough left over (thanks to some "creative accounting") for me to embark on my lifelong dream of opening a restaurant.

ruthbru

Unfortunately, I was having a hard time coming up with a theme for my restaurant, which was to be located in a trendy section of New York City.

lovemygarden

Fortunately, I met up with a self-proclaimed member of the "in" crowd who assured me that the native cuisine of Liechtenstein was absolutely positively going to be the Next Big Thing.

ruthbru

Unfortunately, it wasn't!

Anonymous

Fortunately I listened to the voice inside my head and opened up a international cuisine resturant featuring foods from all over the world and all the "in" crowd came and I made millions!

ruthbru

Unfortunately, money does not buy happiness.

ruthbru

Unfortunately,  wealthy people INSIST on giving me large commissions for catering their lavish parties, and hosting their fancy soirees.