please help

livesstrong

Linda- I am a die hard Red Sox fan since I was a kid. Valerie and I grew up 4 blocks from each other but didn't know each other as kids. We grew up in a town a stones throw from Staten Island but I'm a Red Sox fan. Cool, huh! As for Barbe's comment about needing a stiff one, I'm not even going there.

Bill

barbe1958

Yikes! Forgot a guy reads this thread  did I offend you Bill? If I did I'm so sorry (you do realize that "ladies" talk like that though, don't you?

livesstrong

Barbe- I had no idea that women talked like that. I'm shocked!!!!! Believe me...in my 53 years I have heard women say things that were far worse than anything I have heard men say. Actually, I couldn't stop laughing when I read it.

Bill

barbe1958

Makratz

Bill,

Wow!  A Sox fan from NY???  Amazing.  My dh travels to NY on business a lot and I make him promise me he will not wear any Red Sox gear there!!  It was a great game!!  This is a great time to be a Boston sports fan between the Soxs, Bruins and Celtics! 

Gotta go back out with the kids.  88 again today!  I wish there were internet access on the soccer fields.  Can you imagine??

portiasproudmom

Prayers coming your way, Leesa! 

Barbe, you naughty little thing!!!  You are too funny!!!

Hi UB!! 

Internet access on the soccer fields?  That's a GREAT idea, Linda!  I need it on the baseball field too!

Love and hugs to all.  Thanks for the drink last night.  It put me to sleep, if you're wondering why I disappeared all of a sudden.

Karen

Makratz

Karen,

Can you image internet access on the soccer/baseball fields?  I don't even think the kids would be playing soccer or baseball.  My son would run over to get his 'runescape' fix!

lvtwoqlt

I missed the Friday night drinks again. I was at the Carolina Conference Woman's Retreat and had a blast. Update on my therapy, Friday afternoon I went back to the therapist and he took measurements again and my hand was down a total of 3.5 cm on all 4 measurements that he took Wednesday. I am continuing to wear the glove during the day and elevating at night. I go back to see him Wednesday afternoon to see if we still have improvement. At the retreat everyone kept asking me what did I do to my wrist. I had to explain many times that I had some slight swelling on the back of my hand and the therapist put me in the compression glove to try and reduce the swelling.

Sheila

1Cathi

Ok girls and Bill, I need your opinion,  we did the annula Beach Party Saturday night BIL (Ed's Brother) and his GF were down along with some other friends.  Now I love Ed's brother to death, he is a sweet heart, on the other hand the GF (of 3yrs) to put it kindly is "tolerated" by the entire family and circle of friends, for the life of any of us we can't fiqure out "why" Jim is with her, but have all decided he's a grown man, it's his choice,  we all treat her with respect but there is really no overwhelming urge to spend time with her, or even say "friend".  Anyway through the whole BC issue with me she has asked stupid questions before the MX she asked something about Ed ever really wanting to have "normal" sex again with me  - IDIOT- WTH),  and I have tolerated them well for the most part. As most of you know I have been having some issues with the whole flat bathing suit look (still don't have one), but I did  get a cute  pair of shorts, tank top and light matching jacket.  So we all went to the beach, I was covered with the jacket, but after 2 glasses of wine, dancing some and sitting around the fire - I was warm, and feeling pretty good, so I took off the jacket,  within minutes she said "WoW my chest is bigger than yours now" without even a minute passing, I just out of the blue said "so's your A$$",  we were all sitting there, everyone pretty much heard the comments, I know Ed was starting to comment to her, I just gave him the eye roll thing " don't say anything" (and he didn't) his brother got up and told Carol they were going for a walk, they did for about 15 minutes,  came back and they decided they were going home.  Anyway nothing more was said the rest of the night by anyone, I didn't even cry -  WINE IS GOOD- LOL

Sunday my cell rang it was her, I didn't answer,  she left a "I am sorry message" and I have not called her back.  So my question is should I and acknowledge her apology -  I am kinda sorry for saying what I did, but then again not - she was STUPID first,  she doesn't know my feelings  not someone I would share them with,  I am sure Ed has talked to his brother.  Like I said I love his brother to death,  and I don't want him to think he can't come around with "trail park" girl friend.  And her A$$ is WAY BIGGER THAN MINE BY FAR!!!!

barbe1958

Oooooh, I love you for your comment Cathi! Good for you! And good to be a "big girl" and not cry. I usually would out of frustration!

No, you don't owe her anything. I am sorry on your cell phone is no where equivalent to blurting out something so insensitive in front of your peers. Sorry, that just doesn't cut it in my book.

I'm so proud of you for your quick come-back. It would have driven you nuts to have thought of that later!

You done good.

EWB

Good for you for responding, unless you speak up, she'll continue to have these remarks and think its ok.

Maybe responding to her message (in a good way) would open the door for honest conversation about her behavior?

They walk among us, like it or not

barbe1958

Ah, I don't know, Cathi has known her for 3 years and the skank hasn't figured her out yet. Do you really think she'll be able to work through years of therapy over a phone call? hehehehehe

Maybe this is a wake-up call for BIL, and a chance to ditch the trash.

EWB

no, but we can try, have hope, LOTS of hope. Hang in there Cathi.

livesstrong

OMG Cathi - your situation sounds just like UB's brother & his gf.  Someday I'll have to tell you all about her.

Anyway, I think you should accept her apology - at least she made an attempt to straighten things out. BUT, I would let her know that you will NOT tolerate any more comments on about body. Period.

And like Barbe said - maybe your BIL will finally realize what an idiot she is. But if he doesn't, she just might be a part of your family for a LONG time so try to come to an understanding.

EWB

well said

1Cathi

Thanks girls I am ok with it (just really emplified more of the reason noone really cares for her), which surprises me, I normally would have cried too Barbe, but the wine helped, Ed says I should do what I think I need to do. Respond or not, its my decision, I mean I guess she would have spoke directly to me if I had answered the phone.  Right now I am just NOT going too,  Ed did tell me he spoke with Jim,  he was so MAD and upset she opened her mouth,  Ed and Jim are VERY close,  Ed made it pretty clear I guess she better "THINK"  before she speaks again - or NEVER speak again,  and Jim said that had been taken care of, so for now I'll just let it be water under the bridge.

Anonymous

Cathi, I think you were well within your rights to respond in kind.  Probably no-one has in the past and that's why she continues in her ignorance. (I'm being kind here).

I would return the call simply because it gives you the opportunity to let her know how hurtful she has been throughout and you can suggest that she learn to think before she puts her foot in her mouth. (using those words or something similar being specific so she "gets" it).

JMHO

OR - have an unending supply of WINE on the sideboard!

Makratz

Cathi - Good for you!  You put her in her place.  I am happy to hear that she appologized to you.  If she is going to conitnue to date your BIL, then you have to find a way to be civil to each other.  You just let her know that she cannot treat you like that.  I loved your comment, especially since her ass is bigger than yours.  You are tiny, anyway!!  Good luck with whatever you decide to do.  I'm sure you willend up acknowledging it since you will spend more time together.

You rock GF!!!

barbe1958

Cathi, I just find it interesting that your BIL and his GF went for a walk, probably for him to tell her what an idiot she had been, but, when they came back, she could have apologized then! In front of your peers. I don't know why it took 24 hours for her to come to her senses. Too bad she couldn't have been a grown-up, blamed the wine or whatever and given you a big hug and apologized. Then you all could have continued your great evening all together.

I know you'll end up accepting her apology just for your BIL, but she really has to keep her idiot mouth shut. (Wow, what pissed me off today?)

portiasproudmom

OMG!!!  How can someone be so rude and insensitive??  Especially another woman!  Geez!  Have some empathy!  IDIOT!!  I love your response, Cathi!  Good for you!!! 

As for calling her back, it would be a good opportunity to let her know what a jerk she's been in the past.  Don't let her off easy---sounds like she needs someone to be honest with her.  People like that don't even realize how they come across. 

Hugs,

Karen

Anonymous

Hi ladies

Mel & AE-Im still here and reading just about daily!!!!!!

Life has gotten extremely busy between work and actually having a man in my life that thinks I rule the world I dont have alot of time to post...

Judy-can you please have Devin call me again? I got his message but then accidentally deleted his number so I havent been able to call him.

Welcome to the "yellow brick road" to the new ladies since I last posted....

Karen-you should take lessons from Cathi about people saying in appropriate things!!!!! DFH probably wouldnt like it much though.

Cathi-glad to see that you put BIL's GF in her place but I too know you will accept her apology when you are ready.

Lisa-great job on the dating....two guys at once huh!!! You go girl!!!!!

Bill-was extremely sorry to hear that you had to start treatment again.....always remember your not on this path alone..

For now that is all that I can remember.....

Hugs to all

Jule

barbe1958

Oh Jule, you're so cute. Lisa isn't doing them both at once....she's doing them individually. Gee, the way you said it sounded kinky!

Anonymous

Thank you for pointing that out Barbe....I guess I should have read it better before posting

1Cathi

Well girls for the sake of "family" I made the call - so how do you say Dumb Ass???? "CAROL' the GF.

Anyway Barbe I see your point,  she could have said something that evening, but I am thinking most likely Jim said in their walk they would "quietly leave" and I guess I am grateful for that,  the evening for me, Ed and the rest of us went on in the fun fashion we had wanted. Again THANK YOU WINE!!!!

Just a bit more history on Dumb Ignorant Ass,  this is the same chic who had met Jaclyn her Dh and Alexcis several times, and while we visited each other (Ed me - BIL and her) for one reason or another,  used very unacceptable Racial terms,  I totally jumped all over that and told her about it, she was never to use such a word in my company and for sure never in my house,  thank goodness she never has again, and she never slipped in front of Jaclyn who I am sure would have scratched her eyes out.

So I call her a bit ago,  she answered,  I said Hi, got your VM from Sunday "THANK YOU",  she proceeded to say "yeah Jim said I better call and apologize" ,  so I was starting to have skin crawling sensations from the start,  so being nice wonderful me I just said well I appreciate it and from now on WE should be more respectful and not comment on either of our bodies and I proceeded to apologize for my comment, I quickly mentioned that I am sensitive right now about the MX and my 'summer appearance"  BIMBO- IDIOT DUMB ASS says --------  Well thats kind of strange that you would feel that way  'you wanted to have them cut off"  Sooooooooooooo I responded NO Carol I did not WANT to have my BREAST AMPUTATED, I wanted to stay alive and save my life- she said OH????????? (with that "I don't get it tone in her voice") I just said I was making dinner and had to go.

Just gonna leave it at that,  I feel ok, I did the mature thing,  I know Ed has made it very clear to Jim she really should not talk to much EVER AGAIN (HA-HA) and I am afraid if she does Ed may just pick her up and remove her -  anyway I am ok,  kind of empowered me, If that makes sense -

What a dumb ass,  Just don't get what he see's in her,  WHY he stays with her, no one does.

Thanks girls for all your advise - Always appreciated - LOVE YEAH ALL.

portiasproudmom

I'll say it again......IDIOT!!!!  You WANTED them cut off???  Unbelievable!  You did the right thing, Cathi!  If she makes one more insensitive comment though, I want you to punch her!!  She didn't use the "N" word in your presence, did she??  Grrrrrr!!

Hi Jule!  Good to see you!  I'm glad you have such a nice man in your life.  You're right..I probably bite my tongue more than I should with DFH.  Every once in a while though, I get in a good comeback.  It shuts him up in a big hurry!  LOL!!

Hugs,

Karen

1Cathi

Oh yes Karen she did use the 'N" word,  and I did not hesitate for one moment on that to correct her and let her know that would never be tolerated.  It was in some sick pathetic what she thought

was joke.  I would have corrected her anyway, but like I said she knew my family already - DUMB ASS.  "I'll knock her socks off if she ever says anything again"  I sewar to God if Jaclyn ever heard her use that word, oh I pity her, I would have to restrain Jaclyn for fear she would go to jail for murder.

Anyway off to watch some TV with Ed,  everyone have a great night-  xoxoxoxoxox

PS, Shelia glad the arm is better, Lisa (OH HAPPY DAY) Jule congrats on the new fella.

And Karen - put those boxing/kick back gloves on when you need them - your a beautiful, sexy, wonderful lady - WHO SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH!!!!!!!!

Makratz

Jule - enjoy life and that man!!  Have fun! 

Cathi - UNBELIEVEABLE!!!!!!!!!!!  WHAT A DUMB ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!  You are such a good person and defintiely don't deserve that.  N word too????????????  DUMB ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

barbe1958

Cathi, I'm not going to say "I told you so". But, I told you so. Someone that ignorant as an adult will never change....sigh. 

Makratz

DUMB ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NanaOfTen

Hello all my lovely sistahs!

I have been following this thread and some of you know not up to par lately. But I have to write tonite.

I had my last taxol tx today, yeah!!!!!! now only have four AC to go, half way to the emerald city! Feeling outof it, will not remember all that I want ot write, you are all in my thoughts.

Barbe, hugs to you. No wonder you are awesome. I learned that those of us who have many challenges for some reason have this big capacity to understand and you are definitely one of them. I pray your hubby's headache is just that and a little motrin will ease his ache.

now, Cathi, I am so steamed, angry for you! I have been feeling for you and what you are going through with the warm weather here now and trying to find clothing that you are comfortable with. Now, to have this -- lol, my mind is cycling through words, person ... hmmm, maybe - human, no - lady, definitely NO, anyway, you know who I am talking about -

I don't know Jim, obviously, but I wonder why in the world would be be with someone like her???? Ed is a wonderful person, you are a wonderful person, being the the same environment, I would think Jim is too, 

I had my son read your posts and he said this female sounds like a moron. There is just so many stages of being ignorant but how can a woman in today's age be that ignorant or is she that so involved with just herself that she can't think of anyone but herself? I agree with ... was it Barbe?, that when the comment was orginally made and Jim took her aside and they came back, that was the appropriate time to say something. Her saying Jim said she had to apoligize says she doesn't mean it - to me anyway - is that how it is?

I feel like my chemo brain is in full force tonite, lol, scrambled, bear with me.

Cathi, I think you get what I am saying. I have big hugs for you, you are awesome, I think the world of you, you are a loving person, Ed is so much in love with you.

Ok, I said my thoughts, LOL

xoxoxoxo to all

Cheryl