please help

honeygirl

Elaine , a fellow Steelers fan?! I have been a fan since the 70s'. My dad was from Pa. and the biggest steeler fan ever. I'm from Ohio. I was refering to you and AE are from NJ. I was born in Cleveland and lived in Ohio all my life except for 5 yrs that I lived in Tennessee. But I will always be a steelers' fan! They are the best.xxxx

Hi Judie. Hugs to you honey. I am sure it is very diffulcult going through your sons belongings. I would feel it all still surreal. Hey you are still mending. Don't do to much to soon. And why didn't your daughter bring you some brats and brownies?! Maybe she will. Take care. Get some rest.xxxx

Hey Lisa , did you call Dennis? Did you get Olivia's scrapbook started? I'm so glad you are on vacation. You work much to hard. Hope you had a good day off. xxxx

Aw Nets , darn washing machines! I'm sorry. When it rains , it always pours. Hang in there sister.

I don't think any of us are really prepared to go through this stinken journey. It sucks the big one. But we are all here to tell you , you can do it. Not without kicking and screaming. But it is doable. The most traumatic thing for me was losing my hair. "Our crowning glory" is what we have know all our lives. Other than the "bad hair days" we love our hair and when you have a "good hair day" you feel fantastic! But soon after the last chemo , your hair will start growing and before you know it , its back. Maybe a little different than before , My last chemo was Aug. 2007. My hair is on my shoulders and I've had a couple of hair cuts. As for the node bx. I had mine done when I had my mast and recon. So I had a lot of pain pills in me for a while. So I can't really answer that. Although I do remember doing the "spider up the wall " exercise to get my arm stretching out again. It wasn't to bad.And don't worry. You can come here and unload on us anytime! We all know what you mean. We were all scared shitless too! But , as they say , there is light at the end of the tunnel. And really , I must say , my time through chemo went quickly. You can do this Nets. We are all here , walking with you on the yellow brick road! You will make it to Emerald City! Get some rest.xxxx

Oh my gosh. Dear sweet Jane. I was watching the news and they were reporting on the horrendous fires in Australia. I am praying for all. I hope you and your love ones are OK. Please stop by and let us know you are alright. Love you Jane.xxxx Melody

1Cathi

Yes Nets, things do get better, and you are not boring us we are here for you no matter what. 

Not sure about Scotland but here in the States biopsy results aren't the same day, mine took about 24-48 hours each time, they have to been done by a pathologist.

I was around my cat after all surgeries and treatments, perhaps it might be tuff to have them lay on top of you for a bit, but having them as company will be good for you, they may have to lay along side of you for awhile. 

Thinking of you, wishing you a speedy recovery from all.

XOXOXOXOXOX -Cathi - STAY WARM it is 75 degrees here in Florida.

honeygirl

Oh yeah Nets , I just remembered reading Cathi's post , I was told not to be the one to empty my cats litterbox while I was on chemo. I wish I could remember why. Something about get sick from it. But , I did it anyway. I used a mask and gloves. Maybe someone here knows...

Anonymous

Mel, the risk from litterboxes is toxoplasmosis, which most of us have immunity to, but is a major risk to people whose immune systems are suppressed. I would absolutely avoid litterbox duty during chemo.

Nets, my heart goes out to you. Dump on your sisters here anytime day or night. Nowhere else will you be so totally understood. We get to say things here and ask questions that would not be accepted at all in "polite company"! My node biopsy was done along with the mastectomy, so I, too, am ignorant of how it will be. Listen to Aunty Em and walk with us down the yellow brick road. Sometimes we trip on a loose brick here and there, but we catch each other pretty quickly.

Lisa, as you seek closure, remember who you are, where you have traveled thus far in life, and what you want for yourself the rest of your life. You are worthy, indeed, and deserve to be in control of your destiny. A bit of play along the way is enouraged.

Mel, reading your posts just fills my soul. No other way to put it. Thank you so much for being here.

Ulla sent me a message on Facebook saying that she feels a great need to forget anything about bootface so will not be back. She loves each of us and hopes that we can understand her need. I do understand and will honor her wish. I will miss her terribly.

Judie

NanaOfTen

Cloudhowe,

I hope you feel my hug. I know EXACTLY what you are feeling now. I am trying to be so strong. I have been staying with my daughter since my surgery, she hasn't told her kids - only that I had surgery for the port (they don't know it's a port, only that there is a cut there, a "boo boo", they are 4 and two 9 year olds) I haven't been able to feel anything yet as to what has happened, what is going on. Yet inside I DO feel it. I feel like I am losing it. I want to get angry, I want to go home. I am going Wednesday.

I start my chemo on the 23rd. Saw my oncologist today. I have a total of 8 cycles, he calls them. 4 of taxol to start with, 4 weeks apart. then I go on to 4 of AC 4 weeks apart. He is doing them 4 weeks apart so it will be easier and I won't have to change my seizure medicine. He suggested I donate my hair, told him I was planning on it anyway.

You are way ahead of me ... I have no hats brought yet. My daughter and I are going shopping Wednesday for some, and more sheets, towels, and other things that are on the list in the one thread ... More Tips (and a Shopping List) for Getting Through Chemo. Many good things I never would have thought of.  I still need to do some more groceries and need her to help me as I am having too much pain in my arm. It burns. So can't lift with the left and walk with a cane, use the right for that. The nurse comes out tomorrow and I see the doc again on Wednesday. Funny how the breast doesn't pain me.

I actually had a panic attack just a couple of hours ago. Not fun.

Sue, I need your talent to put into words this beast who has invaded our lives. He's a pizzant! I hate him!

Okay,

hugs to you all,

Cheryl

dink

Hello Ladies,

Shirlann, It was great to hear from you.  Mel you are so cute and I love the pics.  Cathi, I love your newbaby and the name, Margot, is just precious, Ulla, How are you?  Lisa, everyone needs closure, it lets us see where we've been and where we really want to go.  Be sure to be true to yourself.  Cheryl, I'm sorry about your pain, it's ok to get angy, cry and say ugly things.  Your feelings are yours and it ok.  Karen, I'm sorry about your daughter.  I think you are right in honoring her wishes, in the long run she will know that she can trust you and believe in you.  She will eventually turn away from her dad but it needs to be her decision and she will have to make it on her own no matter how much it hurts.  It seems like we are always trying to please the one who hurts us the most.  She knows where to turn when she really needs someone.  It just makes you angry as heck until she gets through it because you're the one always picking up the pieces.  Net, I'm keeping you in my prayers.  Judy, I'm sorry that you are having to go through your son's things but it allows you personal time with him.  A time to reflect on his life and what made him so special.  I know you are hurting and he wouldn't want for you to hurt.  Take this time to reflect and remember what made him so special.  AE and Shirlann, it was nice to hear from you.  I'm going to read to my little Connor.  I will check in later.  Oh by the way, if anyone has an extra prayer - I need it.  I am feeling a little overwhelmed at this point with the new business.  We open in two weeks and I'm afraid everything is not going to be done.  I really want this to go over very smoothly but I have doubts.  Thank you all for being there for me.

Leesa

footprintsangel

Net, Be glad you are able to stay with someone. I had my one surgery and they wanted me to go home that day. I live alone, so I fought to at least keep me out night. I didn't have alot of help. Mel   Thanks for telling me about litter boxes, My white blood count and iron are low. I go in and have a shot tomorrow for 4 weeks and then see my cancer Dr. Cathi I love your cutie, Is it spoiled already. Well, To all the other wonderful people, I wish you the best and I will be praying for you. Well I better get ready for tomorrow. Take care, Debbie

cloudhowe

Hi girls.

I don't know how to thank you all. In the past 2 weeks, reading this thread has kept me sane. I feel I am losing it - don't wan't to be smothered and I am also upset that not enough is being done for me. I think some of it goes back to when My brother Charles was diagnosed with terminal cancer of the gullet, and I wanted to do EVERYTHING for him. And did. He was my next door neighbour and was recenty divorced so I was there 24/7. I also had to have my shoulder operated on - I had a horrible falll in Dec 2003 and , me being me, didn't even go to the hosp that day. I went the next day when there was too much swelling and soft tissue damage to get a proper x-ray, so they didn;t realise that I had a torn rotator cuff, ruptured tendon on the shoulder has come out of the socket. Also a shard of bone was pressing into the nerve and, boy that pain was a hoot. Got the op to repair the damage in June 2006 and it was a big operation. I had to learn to move - the socket had dried up the same a a deoderant with the cap left off.  So I have done the spider up the wall and crawling my fingers across a table with this injury.  The nurse who did the pre op assessment told me that this willbe a walk in the park compared to the shoulder injury. Where is this park they keep referring to,by the way??? A great friend came up from Blackpool, in England (where lots of my family and friends live) to take care of us both  and Charles died(quite horrible) on July 13th 2006 The experience was one of hte worst of my life and the lives my family. So I know that I might be overreacting to all of this that's happening to me. Also was made redundant on Jan 3rd. I live alone too, so I have real money concerns, though I think I have sorted that out. But all the news I have had of late has made me fear for the future. When the machine broke down, I just though f&^% it, ordered a top of the range one, a new T.V and a fire and surround.  I was planning to get these things when I found a new job (I bought a TV from ASDA -WallMart and it is still under guareentee, but the sound is awful and it is a CRT - I only bought it as a stopgap!)

How terribly irresponsible of me! So unlike me, too!

My wee cats - my wee furry purry angels, rarely use the litter tray, they attend to their needs outdoors and the tray is just contingency.  It's just that in the notes form the hospital says to avoid contact with animals during chemo, but all of you wonderful gals seem to be mad animal lovers too, so is the hosp just being overcautious?? They cry and scratch at the bedroom door if I try to lock them out, and anyway, the sound of them purring send me to sleep.

Sleep - I can't - I slept all Sat, relief that the CAT scan on Friday was such a breeze I suppose. But I havent since. Really havent slept for more than a couple of hours.Trying to see the doc toda today - it's 6am exacty here in Scotland for some knockout drops. I actually feel hyper, maybe because there seems so much to do before I start treatment. Got to reappoint for the wig, see the Occupational Therapist to have home aids installed (handgrips for the bath etc, and my shower is on it's last legs, so they might install a new one)  I used to be the Co-Ordinator of a Charity, Crossroads Care Attendant Scheme and I used to arrange all of this for our clients.  That was some time ago, and there have been so very many changes (for the worse) in Social Care provision.

I have had no help - in fact I have been misadvised by the Social Worker from McMillan Cancer. She didn't seem to know that Cancer patients automatically go on the higher rate of support, and that piece of info is on THE McMILLAN HOMEPAGE. It's a difference of £29 p/w - still derisory but it is money that as a lifelong taxpayer I am entitled to.  The incompetance to which I have been subjected has been breathtaking.

When I feel better, that little lady wll be brought to book!!!!!!

All this, soaring energy bills (I have been charged £100 a month for electricity alone) extreme weather conditins - it actually fell to ZERO in the Highlands and you might get an idea why I am feeling low.

But anyway, I will get all that sorted. I ma a highly competant person. I just shouldn't have to do all this when I have had this bombshell.

WOW - feel better now.

You are my cyberangels - I have spilled more here than I have ever done in my life. EVER.

Nonaoften - do you have 10 grandchildren? Lucky you! Yes, when i got my diangosis, I did a big cancer shop, Hats, scarves (I have never used them so bought htem in preparation.  Actually quite comforting in this weather. Bought Nightwear, slippers (I am a Birkenstock, Scholl  chick. Do you have those in the US?) But I bought furry, granny slippers coz sometimes your feet get sore. Bought thermometer and blood pressure moniter, anticeptic  lozengers, loads of ginger stuff - love them anyway, tee tree wash - great after my shoulder surgery and Arnica (ditto) multivitamens, a smoothie maker in case I can't eat during chemo, nausea bands, got anti-emetic from the doc - I couldn't stop being sick at the time got antidepressants, got my filling done, aloe vera to soothe for the rads, lots of heb teas (which I love anyway) miluka honey. Cost an absolute fortune!!!!

Nana - I got my hair cut really short, I quite like it actually! Havent told Will, my hairdresser yet, but would you believe it ... when I was there a wee girl, 10 or 11 I think, who was donating her beautiful waist lenght blond hair!! Apparently, there's a campaign in one of the local primary school to donate for children who have lost their hair!  Will says lots of wee girls are having their hair cut to help other children. He's done about 8 of them. Is that not just WONDERFUL. There are some fabulous people out there.

Thank you again.  This is such a release on these long sleepless night, when I can't call anybody. Does anyone else feel there's such a load off when youv'e posed. I have never been on a social network site, never saw the need for it, but when I stumbled across this site, i just wanted to prepare myself as I don't know anyone who has been down his path.  As I said to Sue, what I didn't expect was to be in floods of tears at your stories and inspired by your courage.

One last thing - my treatment is called - I kid you not FEC. Now you might know that I am Scottish, but my dad and my maternal grandparents were Irish and FECK is the way the Irish say the other 'F' word,  They kid themselves on that they are not swearing, eeven priests say it.  So henceforth please feel free to make use of my medication.  We are not swearing when we say fec, so I don't think we are breaking house rules.....

To my dear brethern, thank you for your patience and unerring good wished.

I love you lots like jellytots

Nets xxxxxxxx 

NanaOfTen

This is a pic of my Sophie when we rescued her. The persons who lived next door lost their home and when they left, they left the babies (to their Siamese cat) in the garage. My son was over, took the garbage out for me and heard kittens crying. He looked until he found them in the garage next door. The next morning he went to get them and the brother had not made it, but Sophie was hiding in a tire. She was so small you could hold her in the palm of your hand. I am going to try to get a more current pic of her.

Cheryl

geebung

Have skimmed everyone's posts.

Cheryl, the snb is pretty smooth sailing really. It was a bit more tender than the rest of my scar but it is great that they can do this to check the nodes rather than taking all of them. I am so glad you found this forum!

Karen - b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9

b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9b9...

etc, but you get the gist of what I mean. Will be thinking of you, keeping everything crossed & praying that everything will be just fine.

Mel, thankyou for your sweet concern. Yes the bushfires have been horrendous - it is expected that the final death toll will be between 200-300. I cannot even begin to imagine the horror of it all, how terrifying it has been for all those involved .

I flew to Brisbane overnight to see my very frail mother. It was so good to see her again and she is a bit better. Going back to see her again next Sunday for several days. Will be out of email contact for the next few days.

Love to you all,

Jane xoxo

sueps

Thinking of you all...I have to go to work in a min... but wanted to say hello and goodmorning.

Nets xxxx ask the social worker at the hospital you go to for a form for a grant...I had 2 while i was having chemo.

I also got disability for a year...I am not sure if you have it in scotland... it was £400 a month and I could still work.

 Please be easy on all your feelings, my dx brought back many sad memories , you certainly have had to go though a lot.

I am glad you are giving FEC to bootface ... it deserves a bucket of FEC!!!!

I have to get on now ...grrr

Oh and nets ... the pain mes that worked for me... were TRAMADOL.

Much Love to everyone....

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!!

MUCH !!! 

sueps

Nets .... you are in the right place here , each one of the sisters has helped me tremedously and still do, they are a big part of my life now, and it is so nice for you to be a part of us too xxx

ok bye for now xxx 

portiasproudmom

Good morning, everyone.  My ultrasound is in 45 minutes.  Please, please, please say a quick prayer for me.  I'm so nervous. 

Thanks so much.  You sisters mean more to me than I could ever tell you.

Love and hugs,

Karen

cloudhowe

Right back at you Sweet Sue. I have shocking advice, especiallly when I used to do this for others when I ran Crossroads.  My Doc has been FABULOUS!!!. Saw her today and she has prescribed  knock out drops and vailium.  God -I would love to just have a night's sleep! The valiam isn't working because I have so much adreniline pumping through me with panic, and apprehension. I, myself, took my pride out of the equasion, and called social work today and they are shocked at the advice given  by the McMillan CAB advisor. Before I am through, I will have that little lady hung out to dry. Sue, I am not a vindictive person, but I am consumed with RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

The First Time THE FECIN (remember I am not swearing moderator ...) FIRST I have been in need of hekp - sorely in need of help - I was refered to a numpty (translation - idiot, incompetant,) She didn't even know what was on THE McMILLAN FECIN WEBSITE, SHE SAID THAT IT WAS CORRECT THAT I WAS ONLY ENTITLED TO £60.50 P/W ON WHICH TO LIVE. IT IS ON THE McMILLAN HOMEPAGE !THAT CANCER (SUFFERS? VICTIMS? -DON''T KNOW HOW TO REFER TO MYSELF) IS AUTOMATICALLY ON THE SUPPORTED BAND - AT A SLIGHTLY ENHANCED RATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Her boss is trying to get get me a grant to fix my boiler. Once that is done MS D^%& is in my firing line. You and I Sue, and all of us infested by this BOOTFACE will do more than this idiotic cretin - and possibley others like her, who - at our hour of need -has no FECIN idea what to do. The social worker to whom today was shocked, seems there is lots of help available for neccessities - I recon I have had to spent £500 in incidentals. hats,thermometor, scarfs, supplements etc. I have had one free scarf from The Haven and bought 5 more (£1.60 each) That and a grant for £200 for the excessive cold we have had and my insane feul bills,£140 PER MONTH BY DIRECT DEBIT for electricity alone) even though I have had no cental heating.  Oh bejebs, I am enjoying the feeling of anger - that positive and channelling AND there is going TO BE SOME SERIOUS CAMPAIGING. My Doc and I are outraged that after a lifetime of work I have to resort to a begging bowl. WOW THAT FEELS GOOD. WELCOME TO NETTIE MY SWEET DARLINGS SISTERS. There is a battle to be waged, here in the UK and for my newfound sisters in the US and elsewere. Not just for treatment, not just for research, not just for dignity when we are at our lowest - but for involvement, respect, consideration, consulatation, COMPETANCE - wee bit of a burning issue with me at the moment - and support. My echocardiogram is being brought forward to 9pm tomorrow (Wed - the techie has has a bereavnent - poor soul) and the biopcy is Thur at 8am. Please keep me in your thoughts. If there is anyone in the UK logging on here, we need to hear fron you. I don't believe it is the intention of this government to put such as I through this torture, but it is the result of their policies, If there are any SCOTTISH loggers, even more important, We have more input.

My dear friends, I must away. Sue If you could e-mail me, I'd be forever in your debt.

With a heavy, but fiercesome heart, I wish you all, my staff and my rod, a peaceful nighr's sleep.

P.S I'm not that scary. But some will learn ro fear me. Not you kids, I truly appreciate all of the support, help and  warmth I have had.

As always, love you lots like jellytots

Nets xxxxxx

Anonymous

Karen

Your in my thoughts girl!!!!! Remember what Shirlann always says about this stuff being 80% B9 and dont forget to breath...

See you when you get back sweetie.....

Hugs

Jule

Anonymous

Nets,

I love to to silly pieces!!!!!!!!!

Will be keeping you in my thoughts this next few days...

Post when you need and we will be here to help when we can...

Hugs

Jule

1Cathi

HUGS AND PRAYERS KAREN -

B9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shirlann

Hi my dear sisters, I love the lost kitty story, oh yeah, forget about the germs, we need our furry loved ones, sometimes they are better than the people in our lives.

The Turducken was boned turkey, with the wings and legs on, stuffed with a duck (also boned) that was stuffed with a chicken (Also boned), the whole thing was layered with rice and pecan stuffing, or you could have cornbread stuffing or sea food.  It cooked perfectly, would feed at least 18 and serving it was a blast.  You cut it right in two pieces, neck to ahem crotch, then sliced it like a pork loin, so you can see the different colors of the meat.  It really was nice.  I have a special recipe that lets me do the mashed potatoes the day before (it is just adding sour cream and cream cheese to the potatoes, then put them in a casserole, they keep for 2 or 3 days in the fridge).  It is so much easier this way, you heat the potatoes and you would swear they were just mashed.  Then, I bought just bottled turkey gravy.  It was fine, not as good as mine, but I am glad I went that way as the Turducken did not have hardly any drippings for gravy.

Back in Henry the 8th's day, they made this same combo, but they added a pheasant, a quail, a dove and a sparrow!  Walt said, "Then, an ant".   hahahaha  So this idea is not new by any means.  The people in Louisiana were great, it came exactly on the day it was promised, it was all ready to go and frozen.  I would recommend this, but it was expensive.

Hey, the Valium takes about 3 days to work.  Take one (5mg) 3 times a day and keep taking it, then you will see results.  I keep one on my bed side and if I woke up in the night, or at 2 or 3am, I had water and the "magic pill" and could go back to sleep.

The long term solution is anti-depressives, but some people don't want them.  They do not make you sleepy or dopey, so they work very well for gals that are working.  They too take 3 to 5 weeks to work.  And then the only feeling is, one morning you find yourself whistling.  

Hugs and kisses to all!  Shirlann

HEY SUE IS UP THERE!  HI SUE!!!!! 

sueps

Hi Sisters ...

Just got in ... want to say b9 to Karen ....oooops B9 X 1,000000000 

Thinking of you loads Karen xxx

Ho Shirlann !!!!  love ya xxx

OK I go back and read now... and mek a brew or 2 xxx 

cloudhowe

Hi Karen,

It's Nets here. Forgive me, but I an quite new here and a total novice! What is your ulltrasound for? As you may know, I was diagnosed at breakneck speed and am going in for an echocardiogram tomorrow, lymph bio on Thur and had my CAT scan on Friday, so feel like I an part of a sausage machine.

Whatever procedure you have (by now) faced, I truly hope it was not traumatic and that the results are cool. Please be well and let us know what transpires.

Is there any way we gals could arrange a conference call?

With all my best wishes, and a humanist prayer winging it's way across thenpond to you Karen.

Nettie xxx

portiasproudmom

Yippppppeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Whatever it was that the radiologist saw on my mammo, didn't appear on the ultrasound.  He was very pleased with the pictures, and told me he'd see me in six months!  What a relief!  I was sitting in there, and it was like total deja vu.  I was shaking like a leaf.  Thanks so much, ladies, for all the positive thoughts, prayers, and b9 chants!  They did the trick!!  I love you all!

Nets, I had my second mammogram since finishing tx, and the radiologist saw a change in the appearance of my breast since the last mammo.  He ordered the ultrasound because it shows more detail. 

Love and hugs,

Karen

1Cathi

YIPPIE- WOOOOOOOOOO -HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WAY TO GO DOLLY!

LOVE YEAH!!!!

portiasproudmom

Thanks, Cathi!  I feel like I haven't been able to breath in a week.  I'm finally able to exhale. 

Big Hugs,

Karen

Anonymous

YE HAWWWWWWWW KAREN!!!!

Have a nice glass of wine and treat yourself to something special today!!!!!!

Hugs

Jule

portiasproudmom

Nets, you are such a spitfire!  I love it!!!  You are going to kick some serious FEC-ing bootface butt!  I'm so glad we can be here for you.  Anytime you feel like venting, we're here to listen.

It sounds like you are more than prepared for the start of your treatments.  You're going to be just fine!  I have a really good feeling about you.  You're a true warrior--you remind me a bit of our Sue.

Hugs,

Karen

livesstrong

Karen - doing the happy dance for you - CONGRATS on dancing with NED!!

AE

portiasproudmom

Thanks Jule!  Thanks AE!!  Jule, I stopped at the liquor store on the way home and bought myself a bottle of my favorite--Bailey's Irish Cream (tee hee).  I wish you were all here to share it with me!

Love and hugs,

Karen

livesstrong

Nets - anger is soooooooo much a part of bootface - just ask Sue.

sueps

WOOOOOOOOP!

BOTTOMS UP KAREN!!!!!

CLINK CLINK ...GIVE TO ME YOUR BAILEYS...MMMMMMMMMMM LOL ..... such brilliant news...

Chalked one FOR US bootface... go drown in your scab filled pus ...you putrid lump of a nine day old camel cr@p  all shrivelled with flies buzzing on YOU.. LOSER  !!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA right back at ya ...LUMP OF LOSS!!! 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA   BLOWING BIG RASPBERRYS AT YOU BOOTFACE !!!! 

sueps

Damn Karen I want a baileys ...