The Hermit Club

Jazzygirl

Sally- I hope the prep and procedure go well and no findings. I had my first colonscopy at age 51 and they found two of those adenomatus types that turn into cancer. Both were removed, and I am on the five year plan, and go back in two more years. I know I will be a bit more worried next time  too knowing I a) had the polyps the first time and b) have already had another kind of cancer. 

You are taking good care of your health by getting this screening test and please let us know how it goes?

magdalene51

Oh, Teka, it has been absolutely marvelous. I will write more when I get home. I'm laying in bed, listening to the continuing laughter and chatter from downstairs, wishing I could have stayed up longer, but even with a pain pill I hurt too bad to do so. Did not want this day to end. But my lumps are like rocks, and aching. We leave in the morning, eight hours drive home.

Teka

Mags, have a restful night & relaxing trip home!

Be sure to have frequent stops to stretch the legs ;o)

Lily55

well the euphoria of feeling good and no infection has worn off and the reality that I will need a minimum of three, probably four, more surgeries to get a match and proper shape is hitting home, another year to go, then nipple recon after that............and my dear brother says, why bother at your age, you may only have ten years left, why make surgeons rich instead of enjoying lfe.............plus no one is very sympathetic or understanding as they see it as voluntary..........

Teka

Lily,

Jazzygirl

Lily- I am sorry to hear you have so many more surgeries ahead. Your brother's comment to you is incredibly insensitive if not outright cruel. I never ceased to be amazed by the unkind words so many women going through this receive from others.

That being said, this is not about him, but about YOU! You are taking care of YOU! No one knows how many years any of us have (including your brother). Having quality of life in the years we are on this plant is what matters. 

Hugs sister.

SallyS70

Ducky, great pictures ... what fun you and your husband must have had.

Jazzy, hoping the current contract will draw to a calm close ... just a few more weeks, right?  Any news on the new job? 

Mags, I hope your trip home is comfortable ... glad you had a good time.  

Lily, so sorry your brother questioned your decision.  How did you respond to him?  

Teka, great thought.

Lily55

Thank you - I told him I did not want to live as I was until I died and he changed the subject, after saying that it was only me and the man who loves me who would see me so why did it matter......!!!!  No clue about my discomfort in changing rooms, hospitals etc....

Jazzygirl

Sally- bid went in friday with the company I am teaming with, and my understanding is we will hear on the award right around July 1st! They need time to review them, ask questions, etc. I have been on both sides of this before (submitting and reviewing) and know it could even go longer, but it sounds like they want to get going in August so hopefully we will hear in a few more weeks and be on our way. Will let you know how it all turns out!

And yes, only a few more weeks and few days on the contract before I go. I will be working all this coming week, next Monday 6/16 before we leave town for Aspen, then back on the 23rd to finish up by the 30th. Two weeks and two days and then I  am on to better things!

Lily- your response to your brother was spot on. No one can understand how we feel about our bodies, or anything else that goes with this. Breast cancer can be a very visible disease (especially when going through chemo), but so much of the time, it is not. I am pretty tough when it comes to people's responses to things in general, but not so much with their commentary about my bc, post recovery, etc. I don't talk about it with very many people these days, I talk about it here mostly. You guys get it, they don't.

Lily55

I know even my so called best friend (who did confuse herself with the dates) has not asked how I am feeling or anything else.....yet I have told her how I feel, .its like they see it as vanity........I am becoming more and more reclusive and quite short with people.....one day I shall snap at them, have  you had a visible part of your body amputated and been left so that everyone can see how different you are?

Jazzygirl

Teka

Cute!

Teka

Lily,

Maybe best friend feels you just need her to listen!

Lily55

If any of my friends have surgery or even hospital appointments I always ask how they are or if they need anything, its a bloody funny way of caring to me to not say anything

Jazzygirl

Lily- I wish people were more empathetic, I really do. People view life through their own filter and if they have not had the experience, they often don't understand. Not an excuse, just what I have learned going through a lot of hard times in the past. That is why this is a good place, you have fellow compatriots here who do understand.

I have had to learn to tell people what I needed from them since this all started for me. I have never been good at that honestly, as I did not come from a family where sharing your needs was ever encouraged. Even now, in my 50's, it is still a challenge. But I feel better about it as I go along with just letting people know where things are at for me, what I am willing to do or not, what I need and what does not work for me. I have to remind myself no one knows how I am feeling, so it is up to me to let them know and hope they can respond to it in a loving way.

Blessings sister. I hope you continue to feel better every day from your recent surgery. 

Teka

Maybe, just maybe, best friend can be there to help keep your mind off BC.

Chitchat!

Lily55

Teka - I normally talk abpout pretty much anything except BC - I am far from obsessed with it thats for sure but its the lack of interest and care that gets to me.....it just does not compute in my little brain that anyone can care and not ask how I am feeling after surgery............or a hospital visit................

Jazzy - I hear you...............

Teka

Lily, I do understand )

I kicked a school friend to the curb because she showed zero concern about my BC.

I've a childhood friend that has been there from the get go.

*Hugs*

Teka

Mags, are you home?

Jazzygirl

Hermits- been in the closet putting winter things away, finishing putting summer things in handy places. Later than usual because it was cold well into May. 

Made some reservations for hot springs in Colorado before we hit the music in Aspen. Soaking, pool time, pedi and body treatment. Good way to decompress after leaving town and before the jazz festival begins. Friend going with me works in the same difficult work environment (but she is full time thus no departure for her like there is for me soon). We leave 6/17, almost a week away now....

Taking a break to run errands and hit the pool. Hard to believe the weekend almost over. Hoping everyone is doing okay with recovery and rest this weekend.

Teka

Today, is the end of the *Burlington Discover Jazz Festival* in Vermont.

Excellent music!!

Basia

Hi Ladies, been MIA lately because the weather has been beautiful and I have been outside with my little darlings all day long. Haven't been checking my phone much while I am out with them.  

Had to deal with all the in-laws today, lucky me.  The day before chemo begins, I was subjected to my brother in law and his wife.  Went better than usual because my husband ran interference all day long, my SIL and I are not allowed to be left alone because I am so mean to her and unsympathetic to her needs, or so I've been told.  We all laugh about it, but my poor BIL has to deal with it when he gets home, so its easier if we aren't left alone to talk. She truly amazes me, absolute strangers, people in dance class w my girls are like, call me anytime you need, I can take care of the girls for you, take them to the park or something, but here my SIL didn't even fake the , call me if you need anything crap.  

Anyway, happy thoughts, 1 of 4 AC's tomorrow.  And then the girls dance recital in the evening…hope I can stay awake for it

duckyb1

Lily.........I agree with you........good friends don't run or look in the other direction when you need them.........a card, some flowers, bring lunch, ask if there is something you would like to do.......or just say.........."look I'm here for you, we don't need to talk unless you want to, but I'm here right next to you if you do".....................

We remind them of what could happen to them..........plain and simple...........have you ever gotten the 3rd degree from someone who hears you have BC or any type of cancer.they want all the gory details, then once they hear them, their gone..................its a "wow, that could be me thing"........a friend, is a friend, is a friend........nothing changes that.

Teka

Tomorrow, busy busy, Basia 1st chemo treatment & Mags chemo port surgery!!

*Hugs* *Hugs*

magdalene51

Hey Teka & hermits, I am home, in a lot of pain but would not have missed this weekend for the world. So much getting loved on and prayed for, another BC survivor there who I've never met who's been praying for me and was very encouraging, about a dozen friends I've known for 6-8 years but only online, getting to put faces with names, spend time talking and sharing and just hugging, and miracle of miracles, all the spouses enjoyed each other too. And DH had a great time, enjoyed the other guys, even said we could do it again. Hopefully next year I won't be in so much pain. But it was awesome.

Thanks for thinking of me. As a hermit I'm always surprised by that. Go figure.

Teka

Jazzygirl

Mag- glad you are back and had a good time. You sound tired and hope you can get some rest and be ready for the port tomorrow. Let us know how that goes for you. You are a trouper.

Basia- oh I have a SIL just like the one you are talking about! She is my brothers widow and since he has been gone a long time now (over 20 years) and she remarried awhile back, we are not really in touch much. I chose not to tell her about my BC (she had it a year or so before I did) and never will. My experience with her six months before at my mothers funeral reminded me it was, is and will always be all about her! My other SIL is not much better. I don't live around any of them though, thus I did not have to even think about asking them for any sort of direct help. SIL's can be very difficult during these times. Siblings can be very worried about us, but sometimes their spouses don't like the attention going away from them regardless of why. I am glad you are doing okay, all things and people considered....

Ducky is right, true friends don't run away or keep their distance when you get diagnosed. I have had a few folks really disappoint me, and one person I thought was a loyal lifelong friend but not so much. But in the end, the friendship has run it's course. I am grateful for all the people that did show up, were not afraid and are still not afraid to be around me. If those people ever need my help, I will be there for them too. Showing up is so important in life. This whole journey teaches you who really cares. Embrace them.

Blondie- are you doing okay girlfriend? 

Cami- are you staying out of trouble?

Teka- I check out that jazz fest and many of the artists who were in town here in April and May were up there to your festival Did you see any of it? I saw Regina Carter was there, saw her in May when she performed here. I am going to see Diana Krall at the Aspen jazz fest, one of my all time favorite vocalists!

Wishing Lily, Mags, Basia a comfortable week ahead with all they are going through. Hoping others here have a good week too.

Teka

I did get to watch & listen to some of the *Burlington Discover Jazz Festival* on TV.   I enjoyed *Josh Panda* among other artists.

SallyS70

Good morning everyone.  Teka is starting my day off beautifully.  I hope each of us has something wonderful happen this week that is unexpected.

OncoWarrior

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