The Connection of Cancer and Troubled/Addicted Loved Ones

gonegirl

truebff, you are right.  we can't take the place of our loved one.  that wouldn't even help.  frankly, if i could have taken my sister's place, i would have.  as it is, i'm here with stage iv cancer, so who knows how much time i have.  but even if i were to trade my life for my nephew's, he would just use that life to keep drinking and eating food addictively.  as i tell people, if you look up the word "Addict" in the dictionary, you will see my nephew's photo next to it.  my nephew steals, lies, does anything he can to just keep using.  i have little hope that he will live for more than 2 years.  in fact, i've even said to him that it's a question of which one of us dies first. he will die due to his own efforts. i will die due to a disease.  at least i'm not choosing death. he is.

truebff

Gritgirl, you can still choose LIFE. You can choose it and claim it -even for as long or as short as you have. Girl, it's your birthright! I am here for you!!!

gonegirl

truebff.  i am choosing life. that's why i'm getting treated.  but cancer is cancer, so i can't control what it will do.  much appreciate all your support.

i talked to a friend last night in AA who has been relapsing.  it was a delicate dance of being supportive yet not wanting her sobriety more than she wanted it.  frankly, she is about to lose her job.  addiction is a mix of physical addiction and mental insanity (the insanity tells the drunk, "i can drink.").  here is what i could see was her biggest deception. she kept telling me that i was strong for not drinking. and i kept saying, i'm not strong, i just know that i can't stop drinking alone, so i go to AA and ask for help.  that is the key.  the addict needs to call Uncle and then ask for help. right now she's not doing that.  it's gonna have to hurt bad for her to get to the point of asking for help. very sad. and yet, i need to let that go.  i can't make her be sober.  she's gotta deal with that herself.

hope all are well and thanks for being my little online alanon group. :-)

susan

truebff

(((susan)))

once again, (sadly), we cannot do another's "work" for them

~~

I just heard a remarkable story about Mr. Rogers on the news. He said, his mother always told him to look for the helpers, that in any crisis, there are always helpers on the sidelines, that if you look for the helpers, you will always realize there is hope.

And so, perhaps there are some that refuse help. But there are others amongst us, who are so so grateful for it. I, myself, am grateful for all and any hope and help out there, for me and others. God Bless the ones who care.

And so, maybe that is part of our lesson. Maybe we cannot help some. But for others, we can. And perhaps, for those we would help, but for whatever reason cannot, they will or must learn to help themselves first or perhaps other helpers will be the right ones for them.

gonegirl

I just heard at an AA meeting, if working with someone starts to mean that you begin to think about drinking, stop working with that person.

The idea of AA is that we help each other to stay sober. If someone does not have the desire to stop drinking, then that is like helping a drowning person. That person is usually desperate and will pull you under. A hard lesson, but a reality. 

All I can do for that person then is to pray. Just so sad.

justmejanis

gritgirl......it is always difficut to be forced to realize this is no longer in our hands.  Once they are adults and choose this lifestye it becomes impossible to help them.  They have to recognize the bad behaviors they have that they own.  Only when they make the choice to change does it become possible to return to the world of the living.  My son Ryan and I were always close when he was growing up.  We had this amazing bond.  When he was 16 my then husband's company moved us to a small city in Wyoming.  Ryan has always been shy and he had a tough time fitting in.  He went downholl so fast.  After numerous cutting events he came to show me a very deep cut across his wrist, bleeding well. We took him to the ER and after he was stitched up they admitted him to the psych unit.  I hated his shrink, a real pompus ass.  I got him transferred to the local one and only private psych unit in town.  It was a huge risk to take to get him there, but it I needed him in a safe place where he could get help.  He remained in just over 4 months and was better for awhile.  For awhile he was stab le after he married and had a son.  He worked full time for UPS while attending college.  He earned two bachelors degrees.  Somehow the bottom fell out and he began drinking, pretty heavily.  He lost jobs eventualy his wife left him.  My husband insisted Ryan move to Casper with him.   He had been evicted from his house in Denver and lost everything.  He has been in rehab twice, third one pending due to his second DUI.  So sad.  I miss the Ryan I knew before this illness took him.  Recently my beloved niece, Renee, Has been diagnosed with BiPolar Type 1, the worst kind.  She cuts and has been to three different psych hospitals in a matter of months.  Deep breaths..

truebff, you are amazingly insightful and I agree we must make our lifes whole and improved as we fight this disease.  My son is forever in my heart and of course I worry every day.  He lives with my ex, Cal, who is rarely at his house so Ryan is alone, in a very remote area, and now with no vehicle.  He totalted the vehicle on his last trip out to the liquor store.  Fortunately nodody was hurt.  He is supposed to go to court ordered rehab but he is still working on that. 

We all suffer at these situations, I know for a fact that Ryan was raised with an abundance of love.  He knew that.  He knows how much I care and continue to support him.  He can't hold a job and is destitute.  Part of me will never understand why.  I think for me the hardest thing is that his younger brother has disowned him.  After my diagnoses Adam was somewhat supportive.  About 6 months ago he asked me if I could have one thing, what would it be?  I said to have just one holiday meal with both my kids present.  His voice turned cold and he told me that would NEVER happen.  He is done with Ryan and never wants to see him again.  Very sad.  Holidays are very quiet here.

So all you brave warriors out there never give up.  You do have to live your life for yourself, you have that right.  I wish I could wave a wand and make all these kids see the light, and do the work nesessary to come out of their darkness.  None of us can of course.  We have to learn it is oaky to laugh again and enjoy our lives.

Hugs to all my brave sistas!

sea_laurel

Hello everyone!

I really don't know if the connection is there, but in my case there are some dots to connect, real or not. The first time I got news that I am high risk for breast cancer was 13 years ago, LCIS was found with adenoma biopsied back then. Just before that, my husband and I went through very difficult period in our relationships. He has been having periods of depression since then, every 3-4 years, but refused treatment, self-medicating with alcohol, stopping when depression receded. For the last 4 years his depression did not really fully subside, it was there like a dark shadow between us. I was diagnosed with invasive BC in March. That is my story.

justmejanis

sea laurel I am sorry about your husband.  I am not sure there is a connection with this and BC, but it is believed stress can contribute to it.  It sounds like you have been on a long and difficult journey.  My son is an alcohol and clinically depressed.  He is 36 and can't work and barely functions.  We have a very long history of mental illness/suicide in my family.  The deck was stacked for my son long ago I'm aftraid. 

What kind of treatment are you in now?  I am sorry cancer found you again.  Take care!

truebff

Sea Laurel, I am also sorry about your pain. I hope you will find friends here.

truebff

Quite a while ago, I found the following:

"

lF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME FALL

Posted by tiredtiredtired - 09/14/10, 10:09 pm

Good Read, Probably what I didnt do for my son

Posted on 09/04/10, 06:38 pm

IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME FALL

 

IF you love me let me fall all by myself. Don't try to spread a net out
to catch me, don't throw a pillow under my ass to cushion the pain so
I don't have to feel it, don't stand in the place I am going to land so
that you can break the fall, (allowing yourself to get hurt instead of
me)
Let me fall as far down as my addiction is going to take me, let me
walk the valley alone all by myself, let me reach the bottom of the
pit....trust that there is a bottom there somewhere even if you can't see
it. The sooner you stop saving me from myself, stop rescuing me,
trying to fix my broken-ness, trying to understand me to a fault,
enabling me.....The sooner you allow me to feel the loss and
consequences, the burden of my addiction on my shoulders and not
yours....the sooner I will arrive....and on time....just right where I need
to be...me, alone all by myself in the rubble of the lifestyle I lead...resist
the urge to pull me out because that will only put me back at square
one.
If I am allowed to stay at the bottom and live there for awhile, I am
free to get sick of it on my own, free to begin to want out, free to look
for a way out, and free to plan how I will climb back up to the top. In
the beginning as I start to climb out....I just might slide back down, but
don't worry I might have to hit bottom a couple more times before I
make it out safe and sound.
Don't you see?? Don't you know?? You can't do this for me...I have to
do it for myself, but if you are always breaking the fall how am I ever
supposed to feel the pain that is part of the driving force to want to
get well. It is my burden to carry, not yours.
I know you love me and that you mean well and a lot of what you do
is because you don't know what to do and you act from your heart and
from knowledge of what is best for me....but if you truly love me, let
me go my own way, make my own choices be they bad or good.
Don't clip my wings before I can learn to fly....nudge me out of your
safety net....trust the process and pray for me.....that one day I will not
only fly, but maybe even soar.............

 

think about it.

 

"

 

I thought I would share it here.

doggylady

Truebff, thank you so much for sharing that. I really needed to read it. It is what I'm trying to do for my son, but as you and all the rest of us know, it is so very hard to do. Standing back and letting my beloved 29-year-old child fall is entirely alien to me, and hurts so much to watch. But God knows I've tried everything else before I truly allowed myself to understand that I can't fix it for him. I can only control how I let it affect me, and frequently not even that.

MelissaDallas

One of my lifelong friends died of her alcoholism in February. She ruptured esophageal varices & bled to death. She was brilliantly smart & so pretty. Although I had struggled with our relationship because of her problems it still makes me so sad & it is such a waste! She has a sixteen year old son.

justmejanis

truebff thank you for posting that.  It is beautiful in its very simplicity.

doggylady I am so sorry about your son.  I feel your pain.  It is nearly impossible to watch our child suffer whether it be drugs, alcohol, or a mysterious mental illness that siezes them in their prime.  My son is 36 and has not done well battling the demon depression and alcoholism.  Doggy I can tell how much your son means to you. As mother's this truly is hell.  Sending you hugs, lots of  them.  I hope you will be able to talk about him more here.

Melissa I am so sorry for the loss of your friend.  This is the call I fear every day I will get.  My son lives with his father, but his dad is rarely there.  He usually stays with his girlfriend so Ryan is alone much of the time.  It chills me to the bone when Cal (my ex) has told me sometimes he comes home just to see if Ryan is still breathing!  He has been to rehab twice, to no avail.  He has to go again, he got his 2nd DUI last fall so the rehab is court ordered.  I know they can't help him because he doesn't want it.  So heartbreaking.

Melissa again I am so very sorry.  How horrible for her poor teenage son.  What a cruel disease this is.

6cats

Hi All,

Fairly new here, DH is a recovering alcoholic. I'm active in Al-Anon. I usually apply the 12-steps to many problems in my life, but am challenged when it comes to my BC diagnosis. I am powerless over my cancer... every ounce of me screams that I am not powerless, that I'm supposed to fight, to stay strong, be powerful...

For those working the steps, I'd appreciate some sharing of your experience, strength and hope.

justmejanis

6cats welcome to the club.  I am sorry you have to be here, but hoping you can find friendship and plenty of support.

I was not surprised when I was diagnosed.  Maybe saying I wasn't shocked when I was diagnosed.  I was having a lot of other issues (family issues, huge financial problems).  Believe it or not, the cancer was not my biggest problem at the time.  My doctor told me he was surprised how well I took the news.  No tears, I think my reaction was typical of me......okay, this is a problem, deal with it and move on.  I am dealing with mental illness in my family that is destroying young lives.  I guess the cancer seemed more tangible.  They know how to treat it and I went with the program.  Not that I am made of steel or without feelings.  I did sink into a bit of depression and I got meds for it.  I wish my alcoholic son would do the same.  He is so gifted, educated, and lost.  He refuses to take anti-depressants which have helped him in the past.  He won't take them anymore.  He is almost 37 and lives with his dad.  He can't keep a job.  It is simply sad.

As far as coping, I did a few things that helped and hopefully you can find some things to help you through this process.  Cancer trumps everything.  Suddenly you are the focus of attention.  Doctor appointments and tests keep you running.  When I was in rads, it was M-F.  My DH and I love going to garage sales.  Cheap entertainment and we always have fun.  So, I developed a 'no cancer allowed' policy on weekends.  It just seemed it was all we talked or thought about.  Being free of cancer for those two days was amazing.  I had to do it so the whole cancer picture didn't devour us.  No cancer talk was ever allowed.  Having those free weekends made such a difference and something I looked forward to.  It was not about denial, it was about freedom two days a week. 

I am sure there are lots of coping skills you will discover.  I love to bake and I was focused on baking for some of my caregivers.  That was actually fun and rewarding.  Exercise is important, but don't overdo it.  I just walked.  We have two Golden Retrievers and that motivates me always.  Some days short walks, others a little longer but I always felt great after I walked.

Good luck to you.....you are not alone ever so please know that!  Hugs!

truebff

Janis, I LOVE your "no cancer allowed" week-ends! How BRILLIANT!!!!!!!

truebff

BTW, I am just learning how to allow feelings their "time" and not let them in when it is not their time.

VERY helpful!

justmejanis

truebff I am so happy you liked that idea.  Cancer can consume us with fear and worry and uncertainty.  Do whatever works for you, a cancer free day, whatever you need.  I found it was like looking forward to a magic outing or something.  We went to garage sales, and sometimes out to breakfast.  We just enjoyed those weekends and even the word cancer was not allowed.  There is plenty of time to think about it M-F, but for us we had to have an escape from that.  It was as if it didn't exist for those two days, and it was so enjoyable to find pleasure in the smallest things. 

That is great that you are learning to let some good feelings back in.  There is such an emotional whirlwind with cancer and it is bad enough it is damaging our bodies.  We really can limit the amount of time we allow it to hurt us emotionally.  So many doctors don't get that.  They treat the physical aspects of the illness but not the toll it takes on us emotionally.  We have to take care of each other.  I am always here if someone needs a shoulder.  Just PM me if you don't want it public.

Truebff I hope you are feeling better each day.  Don't let a bad day ruin the next day.  I am so happy to hear from you.  Take good care, and big, big healing hugs your way. 

truebff

Janis, MyFriend!!!!!

justmejanis

truebff We have to keep up more often.  i think of you and the issues you have endured with your daughter, fighting for her wellness as well as your own.  I love that you have such a grasp on the issues that our children have, and you understand the impact it has on our own recovery.  My youngest son is 33, very successful, he and his wife have no human children.  They have two Golden retrievers, Will and Liffey who they rescused blind.  They deliberately asked the rescue for a special needs dog, as they have the means to care for them.  Will was a rescue also.  Adam's Mother's Day gift for me in 2006 was a rescue Golden.  8 months earlier I had lost my cherished Spencer to a very aggressive cancer.  He was barely five when I had to let him go.  Adam insisted we make the trip to Colorado to rescue.  Prior to going we had to complete a very long application and had a home visit.  We had two dogs but Golden's really tug at my heart.  So long story short, we each took a Golden home that day.  Adam agreed only to foster and not adopt.  Well, 7 years later Will enjoys a wonderful spolied life high in  the mountains west of Denver.

Adam is a geologist and he and Jen and Will moved to Anchorage Alaska to work. Jen is also a geologist.  Adam had always wanted to be a pilot and got his license while they lived there.  He loves flying.  Back to Colorado as the isolation from family and friends began to bother them.  Adam has always had some minor depression, but after months of trying top find a med that worked, his psychiatrist diagnosed him Bi Polar Type 2.  He told me after a month or so, despite his shock at being diagnosed, that he felt better for the first time.  The med was working.  Then a terrible shock and not a happy one.  He was informed that he had to surrender his pilot's license.  Nobody has ever appealed and won.  Huge rule, you cannot fly if you are Bi-Polar, period.  Now depressed is acceptable, but not Bi-Polar.  He was so upset, evan talked to his attorney about an appeal but was told there was no bening this rule.  He told me that for the first time in his life, he was ashamed at being mentally ill.  Prior to this, he embraced it, owned it, and was happy to show the very positive side of mental illness.  This was so sad and i could not cheer him.

Just over a week ago Will was in distress.  They had hiked, as always, the day before and  he was frisky and fine.  Ate dinner great, slept normally.  The next day was Saturday (this was 10 days ago) and they noticed he seemed weak and quiet and did not eat breakfast.  They know this boy so well and it scared them so they rushed him to the emergency vet.  They ran a ton of tests and found out he had a tumor on his spleen and the tumor was pouring blood.  Literally he was bleeding to death internally.  With not a lot of time to make decisions, they learned the doctor was pretty positive he would survive the surgery.  If it came out malignant they could do chemo.  So they did the surgery.  Took the entire spleen out.  He came home from the vet last Monday and Adam and Jen took all week off work to stay with him.  They have a dog sitter who comes twice a day but they wanted to be with him as he recovered.  Then the news came that it was malignant, plus had spread to the liver.  They had a meeting Monday afternoon with the oncologist.  Adam called for Mother's Day to update that, plus he kept apologizing for not getting me a card or gift.  I told him that needs to be the very last things he worries about.  I completely understand.  Poor guy.  I asked him to call me after the meeting and he said he couldn't promise to.  I get it, just told him to call when he can.  I got a short e-mail from him Monday evening.  It said the oncologist told them the type of cancer he has is very aggressive and dubiouis chemo could even help.  All he said was he couldn't call, said he was angry and depressed and couldn't not talk about it.  The vet did tell them Will has about three WEEKS.  This is a huge tragedy.  Jen is pretty strong, Adam is too, but this is not going to go well for him.  I know that.  It breaks my heart.  We dog sat for Will many times over the years until we moved far away.  Will is a doll.  So now I am very worried about Adam.  He has told me the reason they don't want kids is because of the terrible genetic pool we all came out of.  My sister has two kids, a 19 year old daughter and 17 year old son.   Daughter Renee has been diagnosed Bi-Polar 1, the worst type.  Her son is a high school dropout with horrible anger issues.  It is a mess.  My uncle and brother both committed suicide, 8 months apart.  My other brother died a few years ago, he was a lifelong heroin addict.  So I understand being worried about that. 

I guess I just needed to vent and rant.  This past couple weeks have been so stressful.  My knee is still a wreck but I have an appointment with the pain manager doctor for the 22nd.  My stomach is so bad, despite being on very high end acid reducers so tomorrow I am having an endoscopy.  I hope i get some answers for both issues.  Hobbling on my knee is not at all fun!

Thanks for all who listen, and care.  I hope my long ranting post is okay!  I guess I really told all today.  Maybe it is just what the doctor ordered.

For anyone who reads here, I hope you all have a wonderful day and every day is  easier and better.

Hugs ladies, you re all so strong.

Shayne

Bump

truebff

Janis,

It feels so unfair that your son lost his flying licence. It puts a stigma on getting the help that can change everything. It is things like that that send people away from help.

Dogs are so very dear to us. Our dear, dear pets.

My heart and prayers go out for you and your son and family.

I am glad you feel this is a place you can safely share and relieve yourself. We all need that.

God Bless You.

justmejanis

truebff thank you.  Adam worked hard, not to mention all the thousands of dollars he put into lessons.  You are soo right.  He is such a responsible young man and by seeking help for his problems he loses his license.  He did say that it clearly will keep others from seeking help.  There are probably thousands of pilots who possibly suffer from a variety of mental illness.  The don't get treatment for exactly these reasons. 

truebff, they lost Will on Monday.  He was clearly suffering after his first Chemo.  Theu wanted Will so much to get better and he did not.  Adam called Monday morning and said the vet was coming to the house at 2:00.  He cried the entire time we ta;led, it was so hard to hear him that way.  I did everything to reassure him this is the right thing.  Will won't suffer anymore.   We talked about an houir.  He called again at 3:00 to let me know it was over.  Will stayed out on the deck the whole time, his favorite place.  He stayed while they sedated him but could not stay for the final shot.  Bless her heart, Jen of course stayed with him.  He said Jen was a mess. worse than he was.  Hard to imagine that.   It has been a tough week, I have been so upset about Will and the kids.  I know their suffering and feel so helpless.

This is a very slow thread, thank you for drawng some attention back to it. 

Love and hugs my friends.

Janis

truebff

Dear Janis,

The death of a dog is awful. Of any pet. I have had many dogs. It is never easy to say good-bye. My first dog just crossed over gently and consciously. In one breath, in my arms, looking at me, giving me her last breath. Other dogs died not so gently and I have come to believe that putting a dog down rather than allowing them to suffer is a deep act of love.

They will need to grieve. It will not be easy. But it willl be important. They gave their dog their love and care and that is the best they could have ever done for the sweet animal. But now, they will have to grieve. It is a process and cannot be hurried or overlooked. And although sometimes it happens right away, sometimes it takes the time it takes.

When our last two dogs died, my husband and I could not overcome our grief for more than a year. When we looked at other rescue dogs or puppies, we wept again. It was not time. Then we waited for the right dogs. It was two years, but we found them. We are so grateful that we did not hurry the process, though it was hard, and that we did not just adopt the first cute pup or the wrong dog or fit. I named one of our new dogs before we found them and we used to play at how we would one day call the dog after us when my husband and I were out walking. When we found them, they were the exact dogs we had envisioned. It was a perfect, immediate fit.

I was also thinking about your son and his love of flying. I would like to suggest alternate possibilities that he might enjoy exploring: perhaps he won't need a license to co-pilot or to fly a glider or to sky-dive or to fly a motorized or unmotorized one-man kite thing. (I don't know about licensing on any of these.)

But, also, he might find a similar or unique exhilaration in:

-kite-sailing (it's like a surf board with a sail and you actually can lift off and fly feet up in the air over and over)

or

-skiing

or

-circus school (acrobatics, tight rope or high wire, ribbon dancing, etc.)

It could be extremely valuable -and a good challenge for him too- to see where he can re-channel his flying love AND learn a new, wonderful, fun skill.

Just some ideas.

Much Love Your and Your Son's Family's Way

Shayne

Hope you ladies are happy and well.  Just found this article - nothing really new to us here.......  The link between stress and cancer:

http://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/ATF3.htm

truebff

Very interesting article, Shayne. Thanks for sharing it. (Although I'm not sure I truly understand it all on scientific terms, it seems like finally some doctors are acknowledging the health problems that can occur with ongoing, unremedied stress.) 

I think all of us here on this thread know that on some level, in our own lives, that stress has become something we cannot just endure. But there's the rub: we can't hold it in if we have it. And we need efficient ways to feel what we feel and then release it. And, it is important as humans, that we care so deeply. We need to care for and about each other and especially for our loved ones. That is what helps make us human.

I am hoping and wishful, since this thread has not been added to so much in recent time, that all of the ladies here are doing better and even well. In any case, you all remain in my prayers and thoughts.

justmejanis

truebff, I had not read this thread in far too long.  Thank you so much for all of your love and concern regarding the loss of Will.  It was such a tragedy losing him.  Since Liffey is blind and she relied on Will so much, they decided it was best to rescue another right away.  Welcome Jackson!  They went through the rescue and chose him.  All they know was that he spent all his life outdoors in one of those dog runs.  He is such a sweetheart.  I was fortunate to go to visit them a few weeks ago.  Adam offered to pay all the gas and meals if we drove.  I don't fly so driving was the only option.  My Dh drove me there and returned home.  I stayed with Adam and Jen for a week.  I had an awesome time.  They live high in the mountains west of Denver.  They have a gorgeous home.  I had not been there in years and this was my first time seeing their home.  Stunning; the views are amazing.  They were so good to me and treated me like royalty.  In turn I cooked a few favorite meals and did some deep cleaning for them.  Also I walked the dogs so they had a few days they didn't need to have the dog sitter come over.  The dogs are so fun.  Jackson is still a bit timid but gets over that quickly.  Liffey is a riot, a very thin girl because she is very athletic.  We took them for a leash free romp near a river.  Adam and Jen take them there a lot as they don't have to be leashed.  Liffey would just run, dead run, so fast.  Brave for a blind girl!  Anytime there was something near the path that she might hit...they had a code word, 'easy'.  As soon as they shouted it out she stopped, and then did some investigating to see what the problem was.  Usually it is a boulder or tree.  She is so special.  I adore them both of course.

I will write more later, promise.  I don't want to lose touch with you.  To all the newbies, welcome, and thank you all for being comfortable in this special thread.  We really need one another and it is cathartic to be able to discuss such sensitive issues.

Love and hugs all around! 

pegs54

bump

pegs54

A year has passed since my first post. In many ways I feel like things have dramatically changed but remain the same. Physically my physical wounds are healing but the emotional pain from the last months are still hard to bear. My son came home from rehab to his girlfriend & their sons ages 2 & 4. Shortly after he began using again & moved across town from them. We got a call from one if his new roommates informing us he was being sent to a hospital via ambulance 60 miles away from our home. We arrived at the hospital & found him on a ventilator. The next morning he was fired from his job due to his addiction. He was released from the hospital & due to lack of funds he moved back with his father & myself. He found another job & his sons & girlfriend have moved closer so he is able to support them financially while still living with us. His girlfriend is physically disabled so his father & I help as much as possible. We are both 60 years old next year & he is 32 his continued use is heartbreaking we feel we need to be a support for his family. Hopefully things are better for others here.

Shayne

wow........what a rollercoaster! Im so sorry to hear this. I hope the upcoming holidays are better for you and your family.



My son just celebrated his first year of sobriety a few days ago. He still isnt talking to me, but does call and text my husband. He has 2 jobs and has almost enough money saved up for his first apartment. Even tho it all sounds great, I always feel like im waiting for the phone call, the other shoe to drop, whatever........Im happy he is sober. Going to church even..... Knowing he will never be happy is hard for me, but i dont spend a lot of time thinking about it either.



Hope everyone is doing well this holiday.