BC has changed me

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited December 2011

    Grannydukes, I had no idea it was that long!   Are you in the gov't housing or on the voucher plan?   Sorry I am being so nosey.   It is the voucher plan that I am interested in and it's the one where I meet the financial criteria.   

    I'd best get my a** in gear if the wait is that long! 

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  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited December 2011
    HUD is Housing Urban Development....and its world wide....i think its government but im not positive.you can check it out on google.I dont know anything about a voucher plan.I sure hope its faster then HUD.you are not being nosey...im putting this info out there for anyone and everyone who need its and if they do feel free to contact me if i could be of any help.I do know in HUD the rent is 1/3 of your income.do the math.and you are allowed assets.If anyone is over 62 and wants to move to NJ ill be glad to get you an application...gave out about 25 already.Its a hard world out there...not so hard here!!!!
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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited December 2011

    Yes, they (HUD) have a voucher program, too - you pick the apartment (if it is one they approve of - can't be your mom's basement), and if approved, you get a voucher each month towards the rent.   The voucher can be quite generous.  

    Thank you for putting all this out there, Grannydukes! 

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  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited December 2011

    I never heard of that one but it sounds like a good thing....i wish you luck.See I just learned something.Now if you can share this info maybe someone can benefit from it...sistas helping sistas....pay it forward.....

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited December 2011

    It's all on HUD's website   ((HUGS)) grannydukes....I agree with you - even if so much as ONE sister can benefit from what we posted, it will have been worth it.

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  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited December 2011
    It is ssooo strange what i have learned from bc.....when i first started this journey 2 yrs ago a friend of a friend heard about me and contacted me throu fb...when i told her what the #1 dr.was doin (jerk that i was then) her words were I DONT LIKE YOUR DR.AND I KNOW PEOPLE WHO HAD WHAT YOU HAD AND ARE DEAD NOW..GO TO BCO.....and thats where it all started....yeah bc changed me I opened my eyes and realized the white coats dont know everything.....thank you sistas once again for all the wonderful info you/we share with each other....hugggggggs K
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  • Merilee
    Merilee Member Posts: 3,047
    edited December 2011

    Amen to that Granny D

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  • lovemyfamilysomuch
    lovemyfamilysomuch Member Posts: 1,585
    edited December 2011

    I love when sistas help sistas! xo

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  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited December 2011
    Is there any other way??????????????
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  • Merilee
    Merilee Member Posts: 3,047
    edited December 2011

    Please look at  the thread called "Let's draft a letter to Washington"

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  • MariannaLaFrance
    MariannaLaFrance Member Posts: 777
    edited December 2011

    Fearless One,

    I wonder about your indentured servant comment. Since you carry the insurance, will you be "marked" as a risk if you start a new job and sign up with another type of insurance? My hubby wanted to switch to my insurance in November, and I emphatically told him NO, as I was worried I would get dropped when they had visibility into my past health history.  However, I have no evidence that it would happen like that.

    Does anyone know the current legislation on insurance / pre-existing conditions?

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  • Merilee
    Merilee Member Posts: 3,047
    edited December 2011

    I have heard, but can not confirm that it (pre-existing condition rejection) will be outlawed in 2014. I am not sure there is any protection regarding outlandish costs however.

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  • MariannaLaFrance
    MariannaLaFrance Member Posts: 777
    edited December 2011

    Corrine-

    You are a superwoman! And you've done enough to rest on those laurels for awhile. I think the family should cut you a bit of a break for what you've been through, even if you managed to make it all look easy.

    I hope that you have a restful holiday season, and remember not to take too much on..... many women do this and it's not always the best thing for our health. I think living simply allows us to focus on the great moments in life, rather than rushing through it all.  Remember the next time you get approached to lead something that you need to "pay" yourself first (with time, love and gratitude) before anyone else gets anything!!

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  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited December 2011

    Lets draft a letter to Washington........please everyone.....we need all the help we can get on this one.....

    Feerless One---IMO i would not change insurance companies now!!!!!!!too much crap goin on and they look for the least little thing to drop you....i worked in Insurance for many yrs....then where would you be....

    Lets all join Merilees fight.....there is a safety in numbers....

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  • lisasmithy
    lisasmithy Member Posts: 2
    edited December 2011

    Hello everyone! Breast cancer change me - that is so true.  However, I wish can change my job too.  On Feb. 2011 I was diagnosed and finished my treatment in June - I was on FMLA leave. The month of July I was back to work full time - now we just had our annual review and my boss told me I did not deliver good performance this year..... can you please tell me how I should react on this.... I am so upset. 

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  • Merilee
    Merilee Member Posts: 3,047
    edited December 2011

    Lisasmithy- Please look at the Thread- Let's draft a letter to Washington.

    These are the kind of stories we need to gather. I am sorry you boss is an ignorant jerk. Forgive my frankness.

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  • wenweb
    wenweb Member Posts: 1,107
    edited December 2011

    lisasmithy My jaw dropped when I saw your post.  Naturally, it seems that the first response is to think that your company is trying to "be rid of you" due to your BC diagnosis.  If you feel that this is true ie: a false statement, look at copies of past reviews, if you save them, and hopefully there is nothing to base this accuation on.  Sorry you are having to go through this, and good-luck.

    Wendy 

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  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 2,630
    edited December 2011

    If Obama's reform goes through, 2014 will remove the restriction on pre-existing conditions...man that's a long way away...but I'm hoping!!!



    Lisa...how many employees does your company have? Totally need a lot more details. Do you have an HR department?



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  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited December 2011
    Lisa-my jaw dropped too.doesnt look good to me...check out the thread Merilee is talkin about.Its important....I wish you luck.lots of luck.hugggggggs and prayers K
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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited December 2011

    Marianna, no, I believe it violates HIPPA law.   They have to take you under a GROUP plan from another group plan if you have had no more than a 62 gap in coverage.   After that, they can claim "pre-existing".

    If you are talking about changing from one individual plan to another, I think they can make you fill out a questionaire (and thus, reject you).

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited December 2011

    Not to sound doomfull, but unless Obama is re-elected, the 2014 bill will not come to pass.  A Republican President would kill it faster than you can say foob.

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  • kate2011
    kate2011 Member Posts: 121
    edited December 2011

    Hi CLC.

    Yes, I was always the "good" one, the peacekeeper, too.  I've always looked out for everyone else, made sure everyone else was happy.

    After my dx...well, now I'm living my life for myself & my happiness instead of everyone else's.  I'm definitely more selfish.

    I see nothing wrong with it.  Life is short.  No one else can make me happy.  I've got to do that for myself.  And I'm not responsible for the happiness of others.

    Don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm a complete jerk.  I'm just not a doormat anymore.  And I still help others - but I take time for myself.

    Don't feel guilty.  You have an opportunity to make something good for yourself out of this situation. 

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  • ToriGirl
    ToriGirl Member Posts: 1,188
    edited December 2011

    Has BC changed me?  How could it not?  I know the me "before" BC and I will never be that person again....I miss her and still grieve over that loss because honestly, I thought I was pretty darn awesome.  Not in the sense of looks or money or posessions...just a down to earth; be good to each other and I have your back; confident from the inside out; work hard, play harder; I'll do what I can to make things better; damn good friend, wife, sister, aunt, daughter kind of way..

    I still feel like I'm in limbo...life still seems surreal at times, like I'm on the outside looking in...I still feel like I'm going through the motions sometimes...

    There are still things that make me smile and laugh, but my laugh no longer comes from my inner core.  I still do for others, but those actions no longer come from a part of me that used to revel in doing those acts of kindness.

    Kate2011 is right, no one else can make me happy..that's up to me.  I just don't know how to do that anymore (or at least not right now).

    I know, it will just take some more time.... 

    God bless,

    Tori 

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  • Djustme
    Djustme Member Posts: 156
    edited December 2011

    lisasmithy - If you have your past reviews it would be good to look at them to remind yourself that you ARE up to the job. Confidence is hard when you don't feel well, but if you can get up the courage, another meeting with the boss to refute his review should be done.  You want that bad review off your record. Perhaps you can enlist the help of someone else you either work for or with to attend the meeting or to write something positive to add to your record.  If your boss really wants you gone though, and it becomes too much for you, make sure that he gives you a letter of recommendation (and financial compensation) in exchange for 'going quietly'.  If you can't force him to do that, is there someone else in the company that can write a recommendation for you?  I live in Canada, and I had to threaten my employer with getting the Human Rights Commission involved (not because of bc but because my boss tried to force me out after a bad accident). Human Rights told me the company could not descriminate against me because of my reduced abilities, and would have to make concessions (for time off, temporarily reduced hours & responsibilities etc..).  Best of luck.

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  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 2,630
    edited December 2011

    Tori....I'm with you. Its like There was a line drawn and on one side is pre-bc...the other, post-bc. Strangest damn things go through my head...

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  • Djustme
    Djustme Member Posts: 156
    edited December 2011

    Getting bc shakes you up. You suddenly come face to face with the fact that control over your life is just an illusion. After surgery I thought I would feel soooo glad to be alive, but I am actually quite depressed alot of the time. I hope this is only temporary and that my moods will settle as my body heals.  I used to be so patient, but now I have NO patience. Especially for needless noise - people yappity yapping about things that are are rediculously unimportant - and getting heated over them!  All I seem to want is tranquility, quiet, gentleness. And I guess I want there to be a reason for this happening to me. Like the fairy tale aha moment that gives renewed purpose to your life.  It's hard to just go back to living exactly as you did as if nothing has changed, when you know that everything has changed.  (by the way - how did you guys add your diagnosis to your posts?)

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  • wenweb
    wenweb Member Posts: 1,107
    edited December 2011
    Djustme I have felt the same way you are feeling about wanting tranquility, quiet, and gentleness since your diagnosis.  I have personally given up on trying to find a reason why, although I do believe that things happen for a reason.  Most of the time we don't know what those reasons are...
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  • seacretgardn
    seacretgardn Member Posts: 269
    edited December 2011

    Djustme, hi and sorry you had to find your way here. I am however, so grateful to have found the warmth, knowledge and wisdom that the ladies here offer.



    I too feel disjointed and disoriented from my former self. It's like I'm watching an alternate life take place.



    Reading the posts of those who have been through, even years beyond, gave me great insight and comfort knowing everything I was feeling was ok, and that there would someday be a "new" normal.



    I am quite sure there will be many lessons in patience along the way.



    My treatment will be AC x 4 and taxol x 12 then rads.



    As for adding your diagnosis, go to "MY HOME" at the top of the page, then "Edit my diagnosis"



    I wish you well on your journey.



    Hugs and prayers, Laura

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  • Reality
    Reality Member Posts: 782
    edited December 2011

    Tori - I feel the same way. I still laugh and enjoy time with my grandchildren, but that laughter and joy is no longer from my inner core. I am thankful for the laughter and joy, but at the end of the day, my main focus is on cancer. 

    Sher 

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  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited December 2011
    girls its the holidays...we gotta pull each other UP!!!!!!!!!!sure i feel like shit too.but we all know this is no good for us....Last yr at this time i was doing the rads.grrrrrr.i think about it all the time....its not right....we gotta find that new me....im lookin real hard for her....some days i do find her.....most days i do not.this suks.i dont want to be like this...i have sooo many blessings this year and im still thinkin of goin every damn day to get those damn radiation tx.every freeekin day....this bc changed me a lot....every day im someone else...and i dont like her either.end of rant!!!!huggggs K
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