I say yes, you say no, OR People are Strange

AnnNYC

Oh, Otter, I am so sorry.  I'm sending you all the hugs and tears and wishes I can.  Please be very gentle with yourself -- your description of your Mom's house is so vivid -- remembering how I felt when my Dad died, it was as though time had stopped, or things were oddly muffled, or the earth had stopped rotating.  I hope you and your husband can take it very easy until you feel like the earth has started spinning again.  ((((((((((((((( Otter ))))))))))))))

crazy4carrots

Dear Otter, I'm so glad you posted.  One of your pals already told me but I had no way of sending you my condolences.  Last year I turned the same age as my mother when she passed away -- and I thought "Oh, she had so much wisdom -- where's mine?"  Her BC had metasticised and her last few days were in a coma -- I had a very long conversation with her by phone the night before the coma, but I thought I would be seeing her in a few days.  That was 40 year ago, and I still remember the conversation....

Sorry, didn't mean to turn this into my story -- but many of us here know approximately how you're feeling right now, and I know our hearts go out to you and your family.

Sending you many hugs,    Linda

ADK

(((Otter)))

I don't have enough words to console you.  Losing your mother is the worst time in anyone's life. I am so sorry..... 

GG27

Oh Otter, I'm so sorry about your mom. 

SeasideMemories

Otter,

There are simply no words other than to say.... I am so sorry!

jenn3

Tears welled up in my eyes as I read your post, your writing put me in the house there with you......I am so sorry for your loss ((((hugs)))).

Anonymous

Otter, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother.  I hope you know that most of us have our "differences" with our parents. I hope you're not feeling guilty about that.  I don't have any poetic words to express my sorrow.

pickle

Otter: I am so sorry to hear of your Mom's passing. I have been lurking here and trying to diplomatically assess what all the fuss was about and not only does it pale in comparison to your tragic event, but it has certainly put things in perspective. And now I see all these wonderful women sending their heartfelt condolences, hugs and well wishes.. and that is what the true spirit of this sisterhood is. Lifting each other up and being the strength for someone when they really need it, being the shoulder to cry on, being the joke teller,  the brussel sprouts advisor or being any and all of  things that connect us as humans. It is poignant indeed that it takes such a  sad moment to allow us all to take the time and reflect on what is important.

I didn't think I would post here again but your post has truly touched me and as previous posters have said...I could visualize you Mom's house and the surroundings...you have a storytelling gift...  and I truly want to thank you for humanizing such a personal, sad loss. Again, I am sorry for your loss and wish you well.

Fond Regards

Beth

JoanDavies

I, too, haven't posted much here, but you should get all the hugs you possibly can right now, Otter. I lost my mom in January to kidney disease, just before my BMX surgery. She held on as long as she could out of worry for me. Only reassurance that my sisters and I would look out for each other gave her enough peace of mind to let go. Even though I had some time to prepare, I still want to call her and update her on what is happening. I couldn't imagine dealing with a sudden loss like you are experiencing. 

We are lucky to get even a glimpse of the lovely woman your mom was, because you cared enough to share her here. So continue sharing your memories of her with as many people as you can, Otter, so that she lives on forever.

AnneW

Otter, how horribly sad. I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. You'll miss her forever. I wish I had more words, but a cyber hug will have to do. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Anne

BarbaraA

{{{OTTER}}} My prayers are going up for you and your family. Losing a parent is tremendously difficult. I lost my father in October and I feel your pain. Gentle hugs for you. I wish there were words.

molly52

Oh Otter!  I am so sorry.  Mothers are always Mothers no matter how grown-up you become.  I'll keep you and your mother in my thoughts. 

What lovely neighbours you have.

kadeeb

Otter,

I can't say that I know how you feel. I still have both my parents and at 91 they get on my nerves often. It is good to be reminded that we should never take anyone for granted. I'm sorry for your loss. I wish there was something else we could do. I feel so useless at times like this. We love and care about you. Thanks for being you. 

kad2kar

Otter.....Sincerest Sympathy to You and your family. Mothers are Angels in disguise,and you will always have her with you.  kad2kar

apple

I'm so sorry Otter.  Losing my mom, my momma is still so recent.  I hope the shock subsides, the next bit of time goes smoothly.  Many prayers and hugs

hbcheryl

Dearest Otter, I am so sorry for your loss and even though she is gone from this earth she will forever be in your heart. I know that she must have been a kind and loving woman because that is who you are (((HUG)))

ruthbru

Otter, I am so sorry about your mom. I have been through that experience also, so know the hole it leaves in your heart. A big hug from me too. Ruth

Anonymous

Oh Otter, I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your mum. I feel your pain and loss, there are never enough words. (((HUGS)))

otter

Thanks to all of you for the comforting words, and the otter pics. My mom had some chronic health problems that worried her and that we knew could eventually cause her death. So, it was the suddenness and the circumstances that were such a shock.  She lived a long, happy life, though -- she and my dad were married for just over 60 years. My dh and I watched Forrest Gump on TV tonight. The movie was oddly comforting.  It reminded me that some things cannot be changed, and we need to rejoice in the good times.

I deeply appreciate all the love and support.

otter

Anonymous

Otter, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother.  Please remember to take especially good care of yourself as you go through these difficult days, weeks and months full of transitions. 

lassie11

Otter - my thoughts are with you. It's a tough time.

IronJawedBCAngel

Otter,

I am profoundly sorry for your loss.  As difficult as the last two years have been with my Dad, we have had the opportunity to say our goodbyes and accept loss on both sides.  The loss of a parent is difficult no matter what the circumstances, but the loss without the opportunity to say goodbye, and process that loss is beyond imagination. Hugs to you and your family in this difficult time.

I raise a glass tonight in honor and memory of your Mom, and I am comforted by the knowledge that there is one more angel in heaven tonight to guide us on our way.  May we not run faster than what our angels can fly!  Slainte!

suemed8749

Otter: So sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. My thoughts, also, are with you.

Ang7

I'm thinking of you too Otter,

I'm so sorry.  Hugs and prayers are being sent your way.

Marple

I'm so sorry Otter.  I offer my deepest sympathy and hugs.

Kindergarten

Dear Otter, My sincerest sympathy for the loss of your dear mother. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Kathy

1Athena1

Dear Otter, touching base with you again to hope that you may be comforted by all of the warm memories. Hugs, "Athena"

AnneW

Oh, I love that picture, Athena.

Here's to all the Moms who went before us. I miss mine dearly, and I'm all-too-rapidly approaching the age she was when she died of breast cancer and colon cancer. I miss her fiercely. My Dad died a few months ago, and while I do miss him and mourn that loss, he lived to his life expectancy with many chronic health issues.

Friendships and family. That's what really matters in this world.

And perhaps brussel sprouts.

Bren-2007

My dad died two years ago .. and I miss him terribly.  I wish for one more day to be with him.  Thank goodness for wonderful memories of the last visit I had with him.

Otter .. thinking of you today .. and sending you love.

Bren

3monstmama

Otter;

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs and condolences.

Otter's experience is one that should remind us all of the impermanence of life and that things can change in an instant.  Given such impermanence and lack of control, its a shame to waste even a moment of our life force bickering or belittling others.