please help

sueps

Thankyou so much Lisa... I have taken some now and will take my usual whacking dose tomorrow... and thereafter... never again ... and if I do I will see my doc...like Cleomoon says and slowly taper...... 

 I need to revcover ..

I dont know where I would be without you all ... you are my saviours... xx

Lisa I can hardly get my breath.... feel like someones kicked me in the face too...keep griding ma teeth lol

Oh I feel better ... telling you all... I will let you kmow how I get on xxx 

sueps

Oh and I keep missing letters out whence I type or getting them the wrong way round...

DISFUNCTIONAL ... JUST LIKE YOU BOTTFACE!!

...OK I MEANT TO TYPE BOOTFACE ... 

my3girls

Sue...I know exactly how you feel!! It's horrible!! Just lay down and try and relax....this med will kick in soon. Yes..only go off this when you are under your doctors care. It has to be done a little at a time.

What anti dep's are you on? I am on effexor xr. For me...it is a LIFESAVER!!

We are here for you Sue!!! You know that!!

xoxo

Lisa

my3girls

Sue...I am shocked you are even capable of typing...let alone not making spelling errors. When I was "OUT OF IT"...I just stared off into space....could hardly put sentences together...awful...horrible!  So...I CAN"T imagine how you are feeling right now. Mine was a short term error!

sueps

I take 20 mg of cipralex daily.... it is the same as Lexapro in America I think.

The thing is it has a long half life on it.... can stay in your body for a couple of weeks... I think thats why my mental side effects are getting worse as time has worn on...

I seriously feel drained and I look awful... I just look really pale... I even bought some iron tablets today to try boost me... I just hope it is just withdrawals alone xxxx 

my3girls

Sue...I think we can safely say that it IS the WITHDRAWALS alone. I have heard from others that it's very tough going of the anti deps if you don't do it under a doctor supervision. I am sure that now that you have gotten some back in your system, and again tomorrow..you will be feeling much better, very soon!

xoxo lisa...

1Cathi

Well Sue Lisa has covered everything,  so I don't have much to ad except SHE IS RIGHT, you can't just stop an anti depressent such as that with out usually WEENING off it,  speak to your DR,  maybe there is something else you can take,  or her will prescribe a smaller dose.  The thing is and I know this from personal experience, unless a pill is purferated it should never be cut in half,  maybe yours are,  but you still need DR supervision.

And Lisa you are right on for  Mel too,  and I echo about Barbe too - her witt and wisdom make me,  happy,  cry and get goose bumps sometimes.

HUGS TO ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sueps

     

You are the best sisters in the whole wide world xxxxx 

1Cathi

OK YOU ALL FORCED ME TO DO IT AGAIN - LOL

1Cathi

And for those who do not have FB -  always remember a mans real train of thought. 

geebung

I have around here much lately. Just skimmed some of your posts but haven't felt like posting. Just wanted to send love and hugs to you all and especially to all who are doing it tough - Nettie, Sue, Mel and anyone else. Also welcome to the newbies - sorry you have to be here but good to have you.

Love,

Jane xxx

barbe1958

Okay Sue, I have only 4 words for you (to start, anway) WE TOLD YOU SO!!!!

I don't usually say that, but we had this discussion many pages back about stopping your anti d's. All of us said to do it ony under the supervision of a doctor, you dang fool you! At least we know you won't try THAT again.

You WILL feel better by Friday, not to worry. But you should see your doc. I take TWO differnet meds for my head. One helps anger, the other stress. Each one works differently, you may need more than one, or two....

Please, please know this (and anyone else reading!) that some antidepressants (believe this please!) can cause suicidal feelings! That's only ONE of the reasons you cannot handle your dosage alone. This is serious shit ladies! These chemicals interact with your BRAIN function.

You know we love you, I've said all this out of tough love. Taking anti-d`s isn't something to be ashamed of. I just believe it makes me the person I really want to be. I obviously have it in me to be this way, I just need help. Like permanent training wheels. My brain doesn't make a certain chemical, or makes too much of another. Not my fault. It's like diabetes. Would you blame a diabetic or expect them to be ashamed? These drugs should not make you FEEL drugged, if you know what I mean. It should be a seamless transaction until one day you say, 'Gee, normally I would have blown up over that!', and then you realize the meds work!

Take gentle care Sue, and do NOT double up to speed up the process! See your doc to add or adjust anything!

Strong hugs today!

Makratz

Good Morning.  Well said Barb.  My son just did a report on SSRI's, antidepressants, and he found out they can cause suicidal tendencies.  Be careful ladies, find the right one and it can definitely help you!

sueps

Good Afternoon Sisters xxx

Well I feel an eenie bit better right now... just a tiny bit. I honestly thought I was losing the will yesteday... especially when I was shopping @ Asda.  Terrible I have been... what a waste of a weeks holiday from work...trust me to botch it up. Anyway the main thing is I am warming up again...thats what it honestly feels like...for the past week or so my mouth has been so cold and annoying...

Well enough of me whinging again... I will never come off those tablets in a long while.

Thankyou so much for all your words of wisdom... I will do as I am told next time 

I do think I would have ended up in hospital... and that is a scarey thought!!

OK Sisters I will see ya later xxx 

lvtwoqlt

boy you ladies were chatty this weekend, nearly 3 pages to read.

SUE, WHAT DID WE TELL YOU ABOUT STOPPING YOUR MEDS WITHOUT SEEKING PROFESSIONAL HELP!!! Enough of my shouting at you. Barb said it all in a nut shell about not blaming a diabetic for being diabetic, don't blame yourself for not feeling like yourself and just take the meds. Although you might want to talk to your doctor to see if you could go on something else. My mother just went on some AD's recently because of wanting to sleep all the time and lack of energy. She didn't want to worry any of us this past winter when she started feeling blue but she is getting back to herself. I know there were several times this past winter, I would discuss something with her and a few days later I would mention it and she said you never told me about it.

Sheila

portiasproudmom

Wow!  You ladies have been busy this weekend!  Thanks to those of you who were here for our dear Mel and Sue.  I'm so glad you're feeling a bit better, Sue.  I'll NEVER stop my AD cold-turkey (I've actually considered doing it because of this enormous weight gain).  Yeesh!  I'll never do anything like that on my own after reading your horror stories. 

Mel, honey, you are so beautiful!  I know what you mean though.  I've been feeling so fat and ugly.  I'm tired, achy, fat, and unmotivated.  My dh has been on my case to get on a waitlist for nursing school.  I honestly can't see myself having the motivation it takes to do well in school.  I used to call myself a "professional" student because I was in school full-time until I was about 25.  Now I can't even imagine it.  It has to get better for all of us!  We're too young to be feeling this way!!  Thank God we have one another.  You all are so precious to me! 

Welcome to Judy.  You've found a great thread.  The ladies here are exceptional!!  We also have an honorary member called UB (Uncle Bill).  He's the best!!

Love and hugs to all,

Karen

portiasproudmom

Jane, are you okay?  I understand keeping up with the thread by reading, but not wanting to post.  Hoping you're just busy!  Love you, Jane!!

Hugs,

Karen

sueps

Jane, I too hope you are OK ... I am sending you big hugs,,,, I hope your weather isn't too cold....and you are keeping well x x x x x x x x x x x Love you xxx

TenderIsOurMight

Just read up on you some, Sue. I'm glad you are felling some better and have gotten such sage advice here.

I think of you everytime I log in when I see you thread, always with a smile for you and your fellow travelers but fully respectful of the long haul many of you have taken with this disease.

Just think Sue, two years coming up in September and almost 400 pages of friendship notes!

Wishing you continued strength,

Tender

my3girls

very sweet Tender!!

Jane...I thought the very same thing...is everything ok with you?  It's just not like you to not feel like posting.  Hugs to you dear Jane...you are much loved here!!

Sue..glad you are feeling better! Now we have all told you...and that same mistake won't be made again. xoxo

I don't think the anti deps made me gain weight...I think it's the AI's or tamox. grrrrrrr

Barbe...I love the way you put the reason we may need an anti dep. It's so true...our brains are lacking a chemical.  I think I will read that to my daughter...I know she could benefit from an anti dep...I think the way you worded it is PERFECT!  People still think there is something WRONG with you....and there isnt.

Ladies...still cropping away...lol....can't wait until I log on to say...I am done!!!

back to work...er, ummmm...shhh...cropping pics here at work! lol

xoxo

Lisa

Shirlann

Hi girls, well my big old Marshall decided without talking to his MOM, to stop his anti-deps cold turkey in January.  He was just forced to take a 6 week leave of absence from the job he has had for 29 years.  The idiot!  I told him, do this only with a docs help, but did he listen?  No.

Oh well, he is 50 so I guess he is old enough to do his own thing, but he sure has suffered.  

I had a horrible cold, was upset over Marshall (remember, he lost his wife 3 years ago) and my other son went to Peru to spend a week with some Shamans.  EEEKKKK!!!

But all is getting better,

hugs and kisses to all, Shirlann

geebung

Hi everyone, thank you for your sweet comments. You are all precious, wonderful people. I think I'm ok -  a bit of sadness over my mother and just the winter bleakness. We had a few sunny days last week and it was so good to feel the warmth. I do like cold weather but days and days of fog and cold are a bit depressing. I don't feel really sad, just unmotivated and I hate that. Time seems to go and I am not achieving anything. Really though, I shouldn't feel down. There is so much to be thankful for - hopefully, it's just a passing phase.

My mum is still hanging in there but her quality of life is so poor. Her medical people say she is not in pain. She will turn 92 this Friday. Several months ago we thought she wouldn't see this birthday.

Mel, I hope you believe all the affirmations of your sweet, dear self that your sisters have written. Every word of it is true. You have had such a lot of stress in your life - no wonder you feel low. I hope you feel better soon. I feel useless too, if that's any help!

Sweet Sue, hope you feel better soon too. I have heard that going off anti-ds can be hazardous. Perhaps you are not ready yet? You have been through so much - it can't hurt to have a little chemical help. 

Lisa, Barbe, Shirlann, Karen, Tender, Nettie, Cheryl, Linda, Sheila, Cathi, Debbie, Leesa, AE & UB, all the newbies, and everyone - wish I could give you all a hug. 

Love, 

Jane xoxox

Makratz

Jane, Happy Birthday to your Mum.  92!!  What a milestone!

NanaOfTen

Hi ladies and UB,

Been reading, again, but post few times lately. 

Mel, you have always left me with a smile whenever I read your posts. I can only imagine how much more fun you are in person. Though, now, I look in the mirror and see my uncle (my mom thought that was rather funny - her brother) I understand where you are coming from. I try to remind myself just how many people like ME for ME and don't concern themselves with how I look.

Sue, I've been on ADs for a bit and one time, they changed mine and the new one, once it took effect, was like the whole world was washed! Everything was so much clearer, brighter, cleaner. I didn't know the old one wasn't as good for me until this doc put me on the new one (it's one that a lot of you ladies mention here - effexor)

I can't wait to finish my chemo - July 23 is the last - and hopefully soon after start to have some hair grow SOMEWHERE!!!! LOL My head looks like a baby chicken, all fuzzy with bald patches, no eyebrows, no eye lashes, no hair "elsewhere" he he he

I had my first infusion of immunoglobulin today. Took almost 5 hours for it. My onc is having me do this once a month now since I have gotten seven staph/mrsa infections since I started chemo. Says it will keep me out of the hospital. Sure hope so. Once chemo is done, I can finish my recon. Tho my onc nurse warned me that the 3rd or 4th week after I finish may be a hard week so I may have to wait a month after that to get it started back up. Did any of you experience that a rough week about a month after your AC was done? do you remember?

Mostly I am tired, can't stand for long as I am light headed - feeling like I am going into one of my seizures when I stand up, so I rest most of the time and get so antsy. I am lucky that my blood work so far has been great! I've lost about 20 pounds iin the past 4 weeks, but the doc is okay with it as my blood is okay and I can stand to lose some What a diet program?!@#$#%

I see a nutritionist next week at my onc office. That should help with more weight loss ... one day I may just lose it once and for all.

Cathi, I read about your day with Alexis (I have a granddaughter with that name, too) and I could picture the whole day as it happened. How lovely! Fun memories! But ... I'm still worried about you.

Prayers and Hugs to all,

Cheryl

1Cathi

Hugs and prayers to ALL,  Nana,  Jane & Mum,  Shirlann  praying for better days ahead.

Nana don't worry about me,  I am hanging in there,  nothing a good pain pill can't fix for several hours.  I will have all the tests the onco can throw at me after the summer is over,   I just can't do it now. 

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

barbe1958

Jane I am from Vancouver, BC and learned to  LOVE the rain and fog. Now that I live "inland" I actually miss it! I LOVE the intimacy of fog....you guys are just mid-winter right now, aren't you? Hang in there sweetie.

Cheryl glad to see you post here! We'll have to get a new avatar from you once your hair comes back in if you've lost that much weight! I bet you don't look like you! Nice to be able to see the end in sight...

Hugs to all my friends in need!

Makratz

Barb, I think the Candaian fog, rain and cool weather have slipped on down to Massachusetts.  Can you please take it back????

barbe1958

Sorry, it's the West Coast's job. Not ours here in Ontario. Gotta pass the buck back to you!

1Cathi

Oh what I would not give for rain. Our A/C died yesturday,  I can take the warm summers so long as you can get inside and be cool,  what a horrible hot night we spent,  over night temp was 82 and 77% humidity,  the repair man is on his way - THANK GOD.  I hurt,  I stink and I am in a monster of a mood

barbe1958

Ooooooo, I HATE the humidity too! It shuts my body right down! Get thee to the beach Cathi!