please help
Comments
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Karen, I am so glad your trip to Vegas was a good one! Such a "happenin'" place.
Honey, I have things ache all the time, it is usually nothing. So try not to worry too much till you know something. I am still fooling with my hip.
UB WHERE ARE YOU?????
Cathi, sweetie, same advice, most likely nothing. And the worst of it is, they are not too concerned either!
Hugs and kisses to all my dear sisters, Shirlann
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Hi Ladies!
Just wanted you to know UB had read your posts and will be popping in shortly when it "feels" right. lol.
Karen - love the pic - oh how a need a vacation............. Good Luck at the onc - keep us posted. You too Cathi.
Shirlann - its so good to have you back.
Waving to everyone - gotta run.
AE
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This may seem pitiful, but I know I can share it here. Last night watching TV with DH a Playtex bra commercial came on. The new bras are gorgeous! Zebra stripes, leopard print!!! It really hit me hard that I will never wear one again. I turned to my DH and he knew I love that kind of silly stuff (animal prints) and he got tears in his eyes before I did. A sad moment.....
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Barbe - Your lucky to have a DH like that! Sorry it made you sad. I hope it gets easier for you with time.
I cry every time the Avon Walk for BC comes on the TV.
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Hi everbody,
I posted a few weeks ago that I have been diagnosed with two areas of cancer in my right breast. I had an MRI last week. I will have a bilateral mastectomy with lymph node dissection on April 30. I will find out the results of the MRI tomorrow when I see my surgeon. I am extremely nervous about finding out these results. Also, I have been having to deal with an extremely insensitive mother-in-law who seems to find all of this funny. For example, she told my husband and father-in-law that if I had both breasts "cut off" then they would have to help hold me up and help me learn to walk again because I would not be able to walk because I wouldn't be "top heavy" anymore. How someone can be so cruel and insensitive is beyond me! My husband told me to ignore everything she says but it's not easy. I have told my husband that I do not want her anywhere near me on the day of my surgery. I will already be a basket case, I certainly don't need her putting in her two cents. So, how does everyone here deal with insensitive people, including family members, who don't know how to keep their mouth shut if they can't say something nice? I am at my wits end with this woman and I'd like to tell her just exactly where to go!
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Barbe- you got one of the good guys. I'm sorry for the sad moments and pray they don't happen too often but really glad you have someone special to share it with.
Precious- I have been VERY lucky with the family- both side. I am so sorry you have to deal with you mil; there is enough stress without her adding to it. I won't say "don't worry" because we all know that won't happen, but hang in there, one day at a time. We're here for you! Come vent and get all the crap off your mind.
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Barbe, I know what you mean, although its cold here today, skimpy shirts and bathing suits are everywhere, I had an awful day Sunday - seeing boobs everywhere, I know exactly what you were feeling, and your honey is a great guy like mine, he never wears T-Shirts, but he bought one with a picture of a Pirate and treasure chest on it - it says
"It's not about the Chest - It's All about the Booty" (HA-HA) I thought by now all the Emotion would be gone - but this warm weather is proving to be a bit of a mental challenge right now.
Thinking of yeah!!!! Love that DH of yours.
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Hey precious!
Put your head up and ignore those insensative fools. I also went through alot of stupid comments when I was diagnosed and it had taken me a year to get most of it out of my head. I can tell you that there are a couple of so called friends that I had who are no longer welcome in my home. I finally told them what I thought of there sick humour. You look after you and don't pay attention to what anyone else is saying. Family or not! You have to stay strong and focused and you will get through this. My favorite phrase my husband always told me when I was upset with others comments is "Stupid people don't know they're stupid!"
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Cathi, I wanna buy one of those T-shirts! That's a good one. It was your post about skimpy clothing, cleavage and boobs that gave me the guts to post. I know you know how I feel.....
As for people who aren't helpful at this time, hmmmmm, tell your mother-in-law that your type of cancer is contagious (to other women)!
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Well Ed bought his here at a local TOURIST TRAP- maybe if you google Pirate T-shirts or something like that you can find one.
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Precious, I cannot believe that your MIL is being such a jerk! What a totally insensitive, rude comment! Unbelievable! Probably the worst thing someone said (not to me directly, but it got back to me) was when my SIL told my mom that my niece's situation is SO much worse than mine. My niece has back and bladder issues. Nothing at all life-threatening. I'm not saying that she doesn't have valid health issues, but I have to live the rest of my life in fear that this devil of a disease will come back and potentially kill me. People really should think before they open their mouths! Big hugs to you! Hang in there!!
Linda, I cry whenever I see a Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk commercial. My dh used to make fun of them, saying things like, "I'm so sure---these women are being overly dramatic about this!" He doesn't say a word when one comes on now.
Barbe and Cathi, I can't really relate since I had a lumpectomy, but my heart goes out to you. You are both incredible ladies--beautiful on the inside and out--boobs or no boobs!!
Hugs to all,
Karen
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They have those t-shirts on e-bay, Barbe. Funny!!!!! I'd order one for my dh if I knew for sure he'd wear it!
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Precious, reading your post made me think about how everything is relative. The comments your mil made are very similar to jokes made by my family. But we are a very close family with a weird sense of humor, so the comments were very funny to all, including me. I had a tremendous need for moments that trivialized and poked fun at the upcoming bilateral mastectomy. But this was my family, not in-laws, who knew me and what worked best for me. Most of the goofy humor actually came from me, including the learning to walk again not being top-heavy one. Knowing that many people who have limbs amputated experience phantom pain that seems to come from the missing limb, my daughter in all seriousness asked it it would be the same for me...would I have phantom pain? I had never considered that, and responded with, "I don't know sweetie, I'll let you know. My guess is that if it happens, it will be phantom pleasure, knowing me!" She nearly choked and the story was repeated ad nauseum.
Those same comments coming from someone who was not close to me would have been innapropriate and infuriating unless I felt that they were having a hard time knowing what to say and used humor as a way to express caring. I'm so sorry it came from the wrong place at the wrong time for you. You are right to keep her away while you are vulnerable. I hope your husband can support you in this.
Gibby, love the stupid people comment from your dh!
Barbe and Cathi, how very blessed you are. Take good care of those guys!
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Precious - I agree with Judie about the type of humour and from where it comes. It was totally inappropriate for your MIL to make comments like that - very hurtful and infuriating. I hope your dh understands how you feel and supports you. The day before my mastectomy, my clueless brother & his wife sent me a whole lot of rubbish about alternative bc treatments, telling me not to have a mastectomy. It was not the sort of thing I needed to be confronted with as I was psyching myself up for surgery.
Judie - when I came home with my first mastectomy bra and prosthesis, my youngest son put it on and paraded around the kitchen. He is such a masculine type and it was so funny to see his antics!
I am glad to say that I still have phantom breast sensations - nearly 2 years post surgery.
Gibby - what a wise and true statement! I love it!
Cathi -what a great t-shirt! What a lovely dh to wear it!
Love to you all and to UB, AE, Barbe, EWB, Linda, Karen, Sheila, Shirlann, Lisa, Sue, Nets, Cheryl, Leesa, Wren, Jule, and everyone else.
Jane xoxo
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Just tell her next time she opens her darn mouth that it's a shame the wrong woman got the cancer. She is cruel and ugly and I am so sorry that you have to endure this. Shame on her.
Linda
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I would tell her, Would you like that said to you if you had cancer? People are rude, I see it when I ride my wheelchair to the hospital and people say If you can do the treadmill you dont need the wheelchair. I get weak and live alone. People dont think before they say. Getting ready for the Relay for life in May. God bless all of you, Debbie
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Hi Debbie! Good to see you! I was going to do the Relay for Life again this year, but I've just been so tired. I know--not a good excuse. My daughter is going to do it again this year.
Ladies (and gentleman), I've been doing some research, and I think I may have gallstones. That intermittent pain between my breastbone and under my ribs on the right side is definitely aggrevated by eating a big meal. The pain lessens a few hours after I eat dinner, and by morning, I have virtually no pain. The more I eat, the more uncomfortable I am. It's become a daily thing for me. I worry about liver mets too, but from what I've read, most ladies don't have symptoms from mets to the liver.
Have any of you had gallbladder issues??? I know that an ultrasound will be the only way to know for sure, but I'm curious.
Love and hugs,
Karen
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Have I mentioned how sick and tired I am of my health issues? If I do have gallstones, and heaven forbid, I need to have my gallbladder removed, my dh will have yet another excuse to call me a "lemon". Not exactly a term of endearment and it gets kind of old.
Hugs,
Karen
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Karen, I think I have had a grumbling gall bladder for years but only if I eat anything fatty or rich. This wouldn't apply to you because you are lovely and slim but we all eat a little too much at times! My sister had gall stones and some extremely painful attacks (mine has never been very bad at all) but by controlling her diet she doesn't have problems any more.
I think you can have gall stones bombarded with sonar or something (or is that kidney stones?) which is far less invasive than surgery.
By the way, I love the photo of you and your family in LV. You all look great but you look fantastic - young and slim and pretty!
xxx
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The guys at my work say I more "one of the boys now" and I accept that, BUT, one day to lighten a tense moment we got talking about the horrid winter. I live way further north than them and said it was so cold this year in Barrie that I froze my tits off. It was hilarious. What I didn't appreciate, is that one of the older Italian guys went around telling everyone right in front of me! I tried to explain to someone else how offensive that was but they said but you said it first! I said it's like black comics can use the "N" word in their skits, but white people can't! The person who the comment affects is allowed to use the term, not just anyone.....
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Karen shortly after my lumpectomy I started having issues the DR thought was gallbladder, they did a CT scan and scared me to death because they found a ???? lesion on my R kidney, so they did a CT scan, which revealed I had a "birth defect" of my kidney - extra collection something or other as they explained it - anyway they did another test for the gall bladder, took forever it was called Hepatobiliary Imaging, my gallbladder was fine. I think most gallbladder surgery now is laser, my aunt was here visiting and she had emergency surgery, she wa s 82 - spend 48Hrs in hospital (she had a hernia treated too) and aside from a restricted diet for awhile she did great. You should have it checked out and treated soon, the heck with being a "LEMON" we all know men are THE BIGGEST LEMONS EVER!!!!
XOXOXOXOXOXO -Cathi
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Just popping in to say hi!
I got a call last night from one of the women at church (she is a few years younger than I am) and her mother got the news yesterday that she has breast cancer. I am part of the local breast health coalition and have sent her some pamplets from the Komen foundation as well as the ACS. My friend said that her mom didn't want to talk about it right now but I included a message to call myself, my mom, or the Cancer facilitator nurse at the hospital if she has any questions.
My friend's daughter plays on the high school volleyball team and every fall they have a 'spike for the cure' match to raise money for the local Komen affiliate. The coach asked my friend if her mom would want to speak at the game but she said her mom doesn't like to speak in public. She then told the coach that she knew of a mother/daughter who would probably be willing to particiapte, and my mom agreed if they still were going to do it in October. I am going to get more brochures and shower hang tags to remind women to do self breast exams.
Sheila
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Gallbladder expert here Karen. My entire family has had gb issues for generations. I'm sure we have some kind of hereditary thing because it strikes young and old, thin and fat among us. Your symptoms are classic for gallstones. Some people have severe, painful attacks, some have mild pain or none at all. I had little pain but terrible digestive symptoms. (potent sulphur-smelling belching, nausea, diarrhea)
Surgery is usually laparoscopic and not too bad. I had mine back in the olden days when they usually made the incision at the bottom of the ribs on the right, which was incredibly painful. My surgeon made my incision up-and-down...sternum to navel, so I would have less pain. Nice guy. What he didn't tell me is that the connective tissue in that area doesn't heal as strong as before and is highly prone to creating hernias along the incision line. I ended up with three hernia surgeries, the last one with a mesh patch which is holding well. My daughter had surgery three years ago, laparoscopic, same-day surgery, little pain, rapid recovery. Good luck!
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Sheila, I can relate to the woman who doesn't want to talk about her cancer. I was that way. I wanted to stay as far away from "survivors" as humanly possible. I resented the basket of cute pink stuff my daughter's co-worker sent. It was irrational, but I think it might have been not wanting to hear anyone else's story because I was living my own personal horror that no one could begin to understand. No way could another woman with bc understand MY bc. That changed over time, obviously!
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That is why I didn't include the pink ink pen or pink ribbon pin. I was also worried about 3-dimentional items going through the mail. I guess I was more open to it with my family history and being one of the cargivers to both my aunt and my mom.
Sheila
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Thanks Judie! I'm doing a virtually fat-free diet today to see how I feel. So far, just tiny little twinges under my ribs on the right side, and very minimal burning under the breastbone. How old was your daughter when she had the surgery? Did she have her gallbladder removed or gallstones removed? Do they typically remove the gallbladder regardless of whether it's diseased or if you just have stones? Can the gallbladder even be diseased without having actual stones?? I guess I've always associated gallbladder issues with people who'd lost a ton of weight or were obese. I've seen pics of your kids, and none of them are even remotely overweight.
I'll take gallbladder surgery anyday over liver mets. I even googled leukemia (which my daughter's teacher developed after having chemo for bc) and the symptoms include pain under the ribcage and night sweats (both of which I suffer from). I've been scaring myself shitless!!!!!!!!!
Love and hugs,
Karen
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Sheila, you do so much for the people in your community! Bless you!!
Hugs,
Karen
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Portia - good luck, I hope you feel better soon.
Sheila - you're going straight to heaven!
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Okay, ladies. I'm about to go off on a serious rant.
I'm married to the biggest f--ing jerk on the planet!!!!! Tonight, I told him that there was a good chance my onc would send me for an ultrasound and that I thought I had gallbladder issues. He told me that we can't afford an u/s and to suck it up. I told him that I wanted the u/s to rule out mets to my liver and he said that I'm a hypocondriac and to stop throwing cancer in his face. Excuse me??? When did he become the victim in all this??? Geez! What a horrible wife I am! I've done all this just to make his life harder. Poor guy!
Goodnight everyone. I think I'll go puke now.
Hugs,
Karen
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Ah Karen, that SUX, just adds insult to injury. How hateful. I'm curious to see how he tries to make it up to you!
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