please help

my3girls

Forgot too...welcome back Fumi...didn't get to view all of your pics..I'll try to check at home!

xoxo

Lisa

geebung

Karen, gosh - that is a hard one. Like a lot of men, he probably isn't comfortable talking about his emotions so I can really understand why you talked to his ex. I don't think you were wrong to  do it either - you were driven to it because he won't communicate. Mmmm - what to do now though? This information that she gave you is really disturbing. Why has he changed? It could be any number of things. Perhaps, as a seemingly carefree young man, it was easier to party and have fun than be aggressive? Did one of his relationships between then and when he married you cause him to be like this? He obviously has something going on that he is ashamed/angry/resentful about and doesn't want to admit to it. I hate that you don't have his loving support. You've been through so much in the last few years and you don't need this. Could you talk to somebody trustworthy - a counsellor, pastor or somebody really wise who has some insight? Somebody who could possibly talk to him? This needs to be resolved for yours and your children's sakes. I should be concerned about him too but... Well, of course it would be wonderful if he could be reached and encouraged to talk (he's obviously not happy either) but how is that going to be achieved? I really, really hate it when I hear about women in this situation. My sister & I have both been through bad first marriages (she feared for her life and had good reason to - long story) so I am very upset for you.

Hugs to you sweet Karen,

Jane xxx 

portiasproudmom

Thanks for the support and concern, my dear sisters.  Lisa, perhaps I was a bit harsh when I called him a "ticking time bomb".  He's certainly not physically aggressive.  It just doesn't take much to turn a decent mood into a REALLY bad one.  He's like Jekyll and Hyde sometimes.  He has a lot of anger and resentment that he's never resolved.  I think the breakup with his fiancee had a lot to do with it.  It broke him up pretty badly.  One time, when we had just started dating again, we were out dancing, and her twin sister came walking into the bar.  He didn't have his glasses on, so he wasn't sure which one of them it was.  Once he realized it was the sister, he walked over and chatted with her for a bit.  The rest of the night, he was acting like someone had died.  Oh!  The melodrama!  It was unreal! 

Anyway, I'm hoping that once we have our house built, and Rhuel has less on his plate, that he'll be happier.  I know that he's under an unbelievable amount of stress.  He works VERY hard, and I don't want you all to think he's a bad guy.  I just wish he was happy the way he used to be. 

We're planning a trip to Vegas for spring break.  Maybe he'll be more relaxed when we return.

Love you all,

Karen

PS  My mom's biopsy went fine.  The tech commented that she didn't think it was cancerous.  My mom's a little sore today, but nothing she can't handle.  She'll get her results either late Monday or early Tuesday.  Thanks for the prayers!

1Cathi

Lisa sorry about the 2nd date, what a poop head.

Karen I totally agree with Lisa, I don't think it was wrong to T/T the EX - girlfriend,  but I echo the "time bomb"  thats scary,  PLEASE - PLEASE  -  Never allow any man to treat you badly!!!!! xoxoxoxo.

Thanks to everyone for the "husband" support, I really feel stupid for whining,  I realized today that I just need to appreciate and be grateful for the "QUALITY" of time we share right now, the quantity unfortunately is going to have to be a bit less, right now its really hard to hire someone who wants to work only on commission , and car sales are down. 

We had an awesome day, he brought home a Convertible Miatia and we cruised the beach ate at the shore,  and just hung out.  We have been joined at the hip for 6 years now (we do do things apart from each other) but truly enjoy being together,  I guess I have been feeling like a five year old who has had their Candy bag snatched from their hands.

Your right Nets, I'll have Margo next week and she will definetly  fill my time, 

Love you all. 

XOXOXOXOXOXO - Karen

portiasproudmom

How did I miss the part of your post regarding the new man, Lisa?  How rude of him to not contact you or anything.  Whatever!  Someone like that isn't worth your time!!  Love you, Lisa!

Sounds like you had a great day, Cathi!  That hubby of yours is a definite KEEPER!!  You're not a whiner--you two are so lucky to have one another and  that you get along so well and enjoy eachother's company.  I'd probably be a little disappointed too, if I were you.  Hang in there.  You'll have it back again!

Love and hugs,

Karen

Anonymous

I started this post ten hours ago and here it still is. I'm a ditz.

 LOL...I love this place. It's a little bit soap opera, a little bit bootface, a little bit culture, etc. and a LOT support. Such an interesting group.

Tons of hugs and good thoughts for you mother, Karen. I would have been delighted to have my daughter with me for a biopsy. Your mom doesn't know what she's missing, but we're all individuals doing things how we need them to be done. That's okay.

I've gotten behind and can't begin to respond to all the posts. You just can't miss a day around here!

Cathi, I was the daughter of a car dealer who loved his work and had tons of energy. This meant at least six days per week, off to work at 6am, home by dinner IF we were lucky, which was not often. So I understand what you must be going through. My mother dealt with it well most of the time, but went through periods of resentment and even worrying about "another woman" kind of stuff, which never happened. One way they made things a little better was him coming home for lunch. Mom would have it ready when he walked in the door, they'd eat then cuddle up on the couch for a power nap. It was very sweet. And when he was home, he was truly there...fun, warm, silly, romantic, a gread dad and husband. Is there any way you two could find to bridge the gap a little?

Jane, I don't know how you do it. Having your partner only on weekends must be tough. Any plans to change that eventually?

Nettie, that video is hilarious! I'm glad you are feeling better.

Lisa, welcome to the virus incubation club! I've got one stranger than strange. Luckily, part of the strange is that it's not too bad. Achy, fever every day or two. One day I decided it was a sinus infection because I imaginged a little facial pressure and had to blow my nose...once...in the morning. Within a couple of hours, all gone. This morning my nose turned into a garden hose for one huge blow that pulverized a Kleenex. After that a bit drippy for maybe 20 minutes. All better! This has gone on for a week now.

Karen, I, too, was a bit concerned about your post. It's a relief to hear that things are not scary. I hope Rhuel is able to relax and be himself in Las Vegas. Sounds like fun!

Leesa, it sounds like your business is going to take off smoothly. You deserve a bit of sleep.

Speaking of sleep, I'd better grab some. Lunch tomorrow with my RNB group. We graduated from the University of Washington in 1979 and have had a weekend outing and a winter luncheon every year since. An odd group, but somehow we just like hanging out together. Can't wait to hear the next installment in their lives. g'night all!

1Cathi

Judie your talk of your dad gave me good chills, sounds like my Ed, when he is here  -HE IS HERE.  The lot is really to far for him to come home for lunch,  but once a week I am now going to take lunch into him (working picnic) ,I work from home and my schedule is very flexible. He does love the car business,   he always says "car guys" never retire they just get old and die.

Karen happy about mom's biopsy going well, and hoping you and DH have a wonderful time in Vegas,  boy relationships as good as they can be sure do take work, patience and understanding everyday.

Wishing everyone a warm and sunny Sunday. XOXOXOXOXOXO

livesstrong

Helloooooooooo -

As usual you ladies are a chatty bunch.  

Sorry to hear about all the "man" problems, but it seems you all had a good chat and are feeling better. 

Speaking of men - UB says HELLO!  Please say a prayer for him tomorrow as he gets his PET scan - I've been chanting NED,NED, NED, NED -  care to join me?

Gotta run, I hope you all know I think of you everyday and wish you nothing but the best.

HUGS,

AE

portiasproudmom

NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,

NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,

NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED,NED.NED,NED,NED,NED!!!

Big hugs and prayers going out to you, UB!!!

Karen

1Cathi

NED -  X 1,00000000000000000000000000000000,00000000000000000000000000 TIMES UB.

1Cathi

dink

OK everyone, I just got through reading everything and it sounds as everyone is doing ok.  Karen I have been an ER nurse for years and I grew up with a father who was a police officer since I was 10 months old.  Please be careful and watch Rhuel for any changes in his temperment.  I don't like the idea that a previous young lady had to get a restraining order.  I have seen things in relationships escalade faster than you can blink your eyes and I have seen what happens.  I know you love him dearly but never put your guard down.  Maybe I'm being a little over-protective but please be careful.   I'm  praying that your mom's biopsy comes back clean.  After building this new building- I thought I would pull my hair out.  I didn't realize just how much went into building something and just how stressful it can be on a person especially if your the one in charge and everything rests on your shoulders and you have to make sure it's done correctly.  I know you are building your house and you may be correct, that may be stressing him out with his work, this and even what's going on with your mother-in-law.  He may be at a loss of how to help you cope with the things going on also - your bootface, your mother, the house, etc.  Men get very scared when they feel they are not in control.  You know who I learned this from - you guys and I also learned how to sit Donnie, my DH, down and talk about it.  Things are pretty good even though we need a little more money as does everyone.  He told me not to work in the ER part-time that I have more than I can handle and he didn't want to give up his nights and weekends with me any more than he had to.  I'm also lucky for having him in my life.

Cathi - sorry about Ed but he is probably trying to assure that his business is ok and he doesn't want to make you worry.  Talking does wonders.  Cathi your baby is so cute (Margo and Brand't).

My daughter turned 23 today - man do I feel old.

UB you have my prayers - NED, NED, NED, NED................................

Lisa - that man just doesn't know what he's missing - he doesn't deserve you.

Ms. Judy you are so precious.

Jane - I know that in your avitar that is a little Joey, is he yours?  I have slept very soundly for three nights.  Last night wasn't too well and tonight probably will not be either since we will start moving in tomorrow and things are being delivered and we are trying to have tests, compencies, in-service and complete all start up requirements.  The dreams are starting over.  Not much longer until the first surgery and laser treatment.

Cloudhowe - I love to read your posts - I can just hear your accent in your words.  You are a joy.

Well, I have to get Connor ready for daycare.  He is out of school this week for Spring Break.  We still cannot get him to go to Disney World with his mom.  He doesn't want to go without Donnie and/or myself.  This gets really hard at times.  I thought I was through with this part of my life but what can you do the little fella needs us.  He's doing great.  His grades this six weeks were all E's and he had five S's.  He's in kindergarten.  When we started school he wasn't doing well at all.

Boy did I ramble.  Love you ladies.

Leesa

1Cathi

Thanks Leesa ,  Brandt is my grandson, he is 8/Mo old. my girls are long grown up now.  I love grandchildren, play with them, spoil them, you get tired and send them home.  I have 4 total, 2 here in Fl 2 in NY,  I actually got great news, my daughter and the children are coming from NY May 7-14,   I have been asking her to come for months, haven't seen them in quite awhile, her son was born in August and other than computer pictures I have not seen him,  stupid boobs, biopsy and MX kept me from going up, her work schedule after maternity leave was crazy, but she has finally committed to coming down and I am very excited. She and I have had a bit of a "strained" relationship *much better now) when her dad and I divorced,  although she was already living on her own, I was the "bad" one who walked out on the family,  I didn't just the nasty mean SOB -  but Amanda listened to all his  negative talk for a few years and she and I had some up's and downs.  Her dad lives close to her in NY, she has come to see some off his "ways"  and we are doing much better.  So life goes on. Excited to see them, hope she doesn't change her mind again, as she has a few times.

portiasproudmom

Leesa, you are so sweet!  Thank you so much for your concern.  I don't think I have anything to worry about though--according to his ex, he never laid a hand on her.  He just kind of showed up wherever she was.  Thinking back, the first time he and I dated (we were together from 1981-1987) he coincidentally showed up at whatever bar or restaurant I was at a LOT after we broke up.  He even followed me home one night when I left my new boyfriend's house (he'd been parked down the street).  I never thought of it as "stalking" though.  I guess I was naive.

Cathi, Brandt is ADORABLE!!!  I just want to squeeze those sweet little cheeks!

Hugs,

Karen

geebung

Karen, if you are listening to your gut & feel ok about it all, it's probably is ok. Sorry if I said too much - I probably over reacted. Reul is now doubt stressed, wanting to look after his family the best he can - there are so many people under financial stress lately - in fact, I don't know anyone who isn't concerned about the future.

I am back at my old house renovating so time doesn't allow me to read everyone's posts in detail.

Cathi - your grandson - what a darling little boy!

Leesa - yes, it's a joey. I helped to rescue it when its mother abandoned it. I gave it to a wildlife person who knew exactly how to raise him. He's doing really well.

AE - this is for UB: NED to the power of 1000000000000000000000000000000!

Judie - I am quite good at being on my own by now. I try to see the absences as keeping the realtionship fresh! Hope you have a fantastic lunch out.

Love to everyone,

Jane xxx 

portiasproudmom

You didn't say too much, Jane.  You were just being a dear, caring friend.  Love you, Jane!!!!

Hugs,

Karen

Anonymous

AE, I have wrapped UB in a blizzard of NED. I hope it has worked. You guys are precious to me...to all of us.

Lunch was great. I love these women. Only two of the nine of us stopped at a BSN. The rest all have master's degrees and one announced that she is back in school going for a doctorate. Crap! I just can't keep up.

This summer is our 30th reunion. For our 20th we went to Maui for a week. We had each chipped in $50-100 at each of our two gatherings per year for five years, which was placed in a mutual fund. It was during the glory days of the stock market and we had enough money for airfare, all meals, and the rental of a 10-acre estate belonging to a rock star. I slept in his bed! We talked about doing the Greek isles for our 30th, but husbands and partners were so unhappy about our great adventure without them that we cooled our heels.

We had hoped to do something special but didn't invest regularly, which is a good thing...we would have lost bigtime. So this reunion will be local, and instead of spending money on travel, we are all going to bring a gift for each of the others. One is making a stained glass hanging for each of us, one jewelry made from the Venetian glass beads she brought home from a trip to Italy, one quilted table runners (she always wins a ribbon at the state fair for her quilts), and the rest of us have to figure out what to give. It will be wonderful. I'll come home with 8 hand-made or carefully chosen gifts from long-time friends!

Hey Leesa, you feel old with a daughter turning 23???? Try a YOUNGEST daughter  turning 40 and a granddaughter turning 21! Now that's OLD. You and I both have a grandson named Connor! Mine is 2 1/2. Aren't they wonderful? What a special grandmother you are.

Great attitude, Jane. You are such a positive person. I'll bet your relationship does remain fresh. Will you sell the old house when renovations are complete?

Cathi, how exciting to have your daughter coming! I'll bet you can't wait to get your hands on that baby. You'll have baby Margo to keep you busy until then. Lucky woman!

Laundry calls. Love to all,

Judie

livesstrong

Hi Ladies - keep those chants up - UB just got a call from his onky - seems there was a spot in the dye - darn UB didn't ask any questions - he has an appointment scheduled for  Wednesday morning.  I HATE BOOTFACE!!!

Shirlann

Hi dear sisters, I have been missing, I took a long time to read the posts, but what fun it is to share in each of your life journeys, feels like a BIG wonderful family!

I have a painful hip, doc took an x-ray, no arthritis, 6 weeks later, it is worse, so i go in on Wed.  Hope it is fixable.

Walt had a very slight stroke about two weeks ago.  He was fine in a few minutes, his speech was garbled, and by the time I realized it, it was over.  He went in for a head MRI, but nothing showed up. 

It sure is fun growing old!   hahaha

So good to hear from Ulla.  So good.

And dearest Sue, go to the doc's silly girl.  I think she will, or she will get well first!

Hugs and kisses to all, I will let you know what the doc says about my hip.  Damn thing.

Shirlann

1Cathi

Dear AE/UB-  Still chanting, LOUD  -HARD & STRONG for a BIG FAT  nothing on the test results. 

Shirlann - hope Walt is doing ok, and your hip stops paining you ASAP.

LOVE TO ALL.

Makratz

Cathi,

So happy to hear about you and DH.  I always felt like the luckiest girl alive because if my DH.  We met at 15 and have been together ever since.  He's my best friend too.  I have many friends who hate when their DH takes a day off from work and is hanging around the house.  I feel bad for them.  My DH was laid of 2 different times, several years ago and I've gotta say, I absolutely LOVED having him with me 24/7.  Just wanted to share, it's nice to know there are others who truely love each other out there!

portiasproudmom

Hi everyone!  CRAP, AE!  CRAP, CRAP, CRAP!!  Rotten, stinking bootface!!!!!!!!!!  I'll keep up the chanting!

Shirlann, I knew there was a reason you haven't been around.  So, Walt is completely back to normal?  That is so scary!!!  You two take good care of one another!

Well, it started snowing here last night, and it continues as I type this.  It's crazy!  I can't remember the last time we had snow this late in the season.  I'll share a couple of pictures.

Looking out my front door.

Looking into the back yard.

Tonight we're supposed to have a deep freeze and all this stuff is supposed to freeze.  I'm so grateful that I don't have to drive in it!

Here are a couple more pics I took today.  It was my favorite aunt's birthday.  This picture is of my mom, aunt, Chase, Portia, and myself at an early birthday dinner.

Here's one of me with my kidlets.

Hope everyone's having a great evening!

Love and hugs,

Karen

Anonymous

Hang in there UB. We're still chanting and will as long as we have to!!!

Thanks for dropping in, Shirl!!! I'm glad Walt is ok. Must have been a real scare for you. Take care of that hip!

Makraz, your story is so touching. My best friend when I was a young mother had the same story. I've never know a couple so well-matched and devoted.

Your aunt looks delightful, Karen. The photos are great. You have adorable kiddos! No comment on the nature photos. GRRRR

Off to bedlam...

Judie

Oops! Forgot. This is an excellent article in the NYT that I think we can all relate to: 

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/10/health/10case.html?ref=health

cloudhowe

Hiya darlings!

Just a quick catch up. Karen it is soooooo nice to see you and your lovely family - you look incrediby well incidentally! And Portia is absolutly BEAUTIFUL,.as is wee Chase.

We have had snow, too, last week, weather is vascillating between lovely bright springlike days to absolutly Baltic! You open the curtains and you're back in Narnia!!

Mind you it was ever so in Scotland. If you get tired of the season, just hang around for 20 minutes.

Cathi, you must be so excited about the family coming down. I am restricted about seeing my dear, dear darling wee brother, his kids and our friends,  who live in England, because of appointments, I had a cold etc. My wee neice Sinaed was crying last night on the phone because I keep planning to go down but havent managed (I am usually there at least twice a month)

Getting my bloods done tomorrow in prep for 2nd FEC on Friday and the hair is now coming out - quite suddenly.

Still havent got the wig because they brought everything forward. With FEC you are supposed to lose all head and body hair within 2 - 3 weeks, But I still have most of my lashes (they're my one vanity as they are very long and black; and the eybrows are still there. It is still a shock though, isn't it, to shed your hair - even though you are totally prepared for it) Getting meds fro  my doc today to counteract the worst s/e of my 1st FECing experience!

Cathi, do you have wee Margo yet? I think getting a wee puppy or kittten it one of the greatest pleasures in life. I do hope that you and Ed get to spend some more time together. My sis and brother-in-law are exactly the same, John works for the Scottish Government in Energy Conservation and now has to attend meetings all over the country and even in Europe now, and they hate having to spend any time apart. They, like you, have a wonderful partnership that is the envy of us all. They also have4 kids who are the pearls of my world. They only live 6 miles away so we see each other almost daily.

This horrible recession will end - it's part of a cycle, although THIS one had crooks and incompetants at the heart of it!! - and things will improve. What a great man you have, and what a hard worker. You must be proud of him girl. Your wee Brandt is just EDIBLE. I love seeing pics of you guys, must learn how to attach pics etc. weren't Funni's just breath-taking?

You know I mentioned Dancing on Ice - please look up Ray Quinn on UTube- he is a stunning skater, as are most of the celebs. I am especially besotted with Donal McIntyre (who is an undercover reporter) I think he is georgeous. Would love to hear what you discerning chapesses think .....

As always, love reading about you and sharing thoughs.

Prayers and warmest best wishes to you all, especailly all of you who are worried about your family members. it's harder to watch someone you love in pain or fear than to go through it yourself.

I know of which I speak. We lost 4 close family member in 13 months, including my sweet brother Charles,to cancer.

 I also know that we have boundless strenght and that no experience can bow us. You have all been throuh so much, and your stories of coping, beating the dreaded boorface, or at least fighting it to a standstill has been a great well of inspiration for me. I don't have any cancer survivors in my circle.

God, must dash, sorry for the sloppy spelling, grammer et al - I am a grammer Fascist normally! - there's a great book by Lynne Truss called "Eats, shoots and leaved" about this. I am in total accordence. It's very funny and about the power of the apostropty! Townee, you would love it. I love your posts BTW. You are a wordsmith girl.

It's just as well I am a fast typist.

My dear brethern

Love you lots like jellytots

xxxxxx Nettie xxxxxx

lvtwoqlt

Sorry I have been MIA. Friday morning, my boss had me change a setting on my internet proxy settings and I lost the internet until Monday afternoon when he had me change them back.

Cathi, After my family moved to NC, my father went in partnership with a friend and he was working so many hours at the tool/die shop, mom actually started taking supper to him most evenings. We would pack up the meal and take it and eat in the office area so we would still have family time with him then we would go and help sweep up the shop. If OSHA found out the shop would have been closed. They stayed in the partnership about 1.5 yrs and Dad told him that he wanted out and the partner bought out dad's portion.

One quirk of a truck driver is if product is damaged sometimes he gets to bring it home. In the 3 yrs he has driven, we have gotten a 20 lb bag of dog food that was torn open and refused, and a large container of laundry soap (before Christmas) that the plastic bucket was ripped by the forklift. (I am still using the laundry soap, I bought a different bucket to put it in to prevent it from moisture) Well now we have 48 bottles of Witch Hazel and 24 bottles of mouthwash that didn't show up on the bill of lading where he delivered yesterday. They refused the boxes because they wern't supposed to get it. I am trying to figure out what to do with the product. I think I will send some to the battered woman's shelter and to Hospice.

Karen the pictures look lovely. Last monday we were looking at 4-6 inches of snow but by the weekend we were in the upper 70's. and that is why my sinuses are stopped up so bad today. They are calling for rain by the end of the week and cooler temps again.

Talking about children, my son will be 24 this June so I am feeling old also.

Sheila

1Cathi

Shelia, Witch Hazel is awesome for your complexion, of coarse that is alot of Witch Hazel. Donating it sounds like a good idea.

Nets we pick Margo up bright an early Saturday AM, it is about a 2.5 hour drive to do so  - but she is worth it.

Marraz-  how you have explained your time with hubby is exactly how Ed and I feel, afetr 20+yrs with a man (AKA IDIOT) who cared nothing about time together, happiness and true meaning of family, Ed is my blessing also,  I truly believe my mom and dad sent him to me from the good heaven above.  My dads name was Edward as well,  I have a brother named David Edward and Ed's name is Edward David. 

Karen -the snow/ice sucks. But I absolutely love the pictures, you all are so pretty (well Chase is a handsome younng man). I love -love -love  your hair, my hair is so darn straight , I just hate it so sometimes,  absolutely not one curl, my daughters tell me staright is in - but I still like a bit of "POOF"

I can hardly wait until Saturday AM,  it's like waiting for Christmas. 

LOVE TO ALL.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

1Cathi

You all have proably seen this but with all the "MAN" talk lately -thought it was pretty cute.

http://www.clevver.com/video/115448/the-milt-show--the-man-song.html 

portiasproudmom

Hi ladies (and UB)!  Just popping in to let you know I just heard from my mom.  Her biopsy results are in and whatever those little cluster are, they're b9!!!!!!!!!!!!! She just about scared the crap out of me.  She was crying when she called and I automatically assumed the worst.  My heart dropped into my feet!  I told her never to do that to me again!!!!

Thanks to everyone for the prayers and well wishes!  It means sooooo much!

Love and Hugs,

Karen

1Cathi

YEAH KAREN & MOM!!!!!!!! 

YEAH-YEAH YEAH

NanaOfTen

Hi all,

Yeah Karen's mom ... like being at bingo an needing B9 to win ... nice!

Cathi, bet you just can't wait to cuddle little margo on saturday. hug her once for me.

Hi all, just a quick note. not writing too much lately, lots going on. Son was here a couple of days. a little bit o stress. o well

sitting today, watching tv, ran my fingers through my hair and am getting lots of hair now, by next week (monday is next tx) looks like my haircut will be for naught.

is anyone ever ready for this even tho we know it's going to happen?

C