please help

sueps

I was layin in bed just about to put my lamp off...

F&*$%!£^& YOU BOOT f%&£"*:{!"£$%£$%%£$^%^>?<@}£%!"£$ FACE

URGH AE,  I WANNA SWEAR RITE ALOUD HERE I WILL INTO MY PILLOW AFTER

URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  

UB WE WILL PRAY WHILE YOU WAIT..... I BET YOU ARE REALLY F!£$%^£^&& D OFF!!!

I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO ANNOYED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I AM ENRAGED WITH IT...

I love you AE .... speak soon ... for god sake if it doesnt rain it F!"£$%^:{$&*ING  POURS!!!!

Cathi get to the hospital too .... you will feel so mcuh better... even for the bed rest and nursing xxxxxxxx

strewth bootface you nasty evil ball of rancid  uglyness!!!!!

WE HATE YOU BILLY NO MATES !

G NITE EVERYONE ... I am thinking of you xxxx 

Shirlann

Hmmm, Sue, I see that British Pound sign, we do not have that on our keyboards?????

I always liked it.  hmmm, I don't see it, I don't see it!

Well if someone sees it, let me know.

Hugs, Shirlann

1Cathi

My Daer Friends,

I am being allowed a few minutes on Ed's laptop as I am now inpatient at the hospital, shortly after my AM post he ordered me in the car to the hospital or he would call an ambulance and tell them I was "crazy" and could not make my own medical decisions,  I went peacefully (not exactly) but he had a call in to my GP and although we did have to go through emergency he had orders for me to be admitted waiting there so it was not the endless hours in the ER,  so I have IV's running and breathing treatments underway,  and I guess I am happy I am here, the word is at least 48/HRS -YUCK!!!  The verdict is pneumonia a major sinus infection and I am even dehydrated,  they are gonna run some more blood work because of the red cells being so low???? The antibiotics will take care of the elevated white.  Anyway thanks for all your thoughts, I am getting the "look" to get off (gotta love him - and I do).

JUDIE-  I LOVE YOU - Thanks so much for your PM -  XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Wren

Thank you all for sharing your plumbing stories... I can relate to the toilet handle thingy because I fixed that last month...

Cathi, I hope you get to the hospital and get on some meds to help you, it's so important to do whatever you can to get well.

I woke up today with an infection under the left breast -- probably as a result of having a bunch of stitches removed and some still trying to work their way out... so I am back on more antibiotics to fight this. It sure did scare me.

Sue, I'm so glad to see you ranting about bootface--it just makes me grin from ear to ear when you have your spunk about you!

AE, I hope time flies and that only good news will come your way. Sorry that you have to wait so long.

Well, I'm back to just resting a bit--I need to get over my mild cold, and weird boob infection.

Hugs to you all!

portiasproudmom

Well, crap!  My prayers are with you, UB.  I just KNOW it's nothing, but it's stressful nonetheless.  I'm sorry this is happening.  I agree with Sue's bootface rant.  It sucks big time.

Cathi, thank goodness you're in the hospital and on the mend.  You just relax and get better, okay?  Do what the docs and that dh of yours tell you!

Take care of that infected boob, Wren.  How scary!

I have some really sad news to share, ladies.  I'm almost embarrassed to mention it in light of Judie's unimaginable loss.  I took Tinker to the vet today because the medication she was on wasn't helping her so-called dementia.  She's developed sort of a pot belly in the past month, so they took an x-ray to see what was going on.  She has a huge tumor on her liver.  The only options are to do an ultrasound to see if it's operable and if so, remove it.  There are no guarantees that she'd be okay if it's taken out.  Plus, the ultrasound will cost over $300 and the surgery would probably cost around $2,000.  We simply can't afford that right now.  The only other option is to put her down.  Portia's begging me not to do it, but I can't stand the thought of letting her suffer.  Right now, she's lethargic, constantly looking for water, having accidents left and right, and the tumor is obviously making her uncomfortable.  She wants to eat, but has difficulty doing so, she's been vomiting a lot, and her breathing is very labored (she has fluid on her lungs and the tumor is obviously squishing things in there and making it hard to breath).  It's only going to get worse and worse.  I don't know what to do.  Put her down now, or let her get to the point where she's miserable.  I've been crying for hours.  I hate this so much.  Right now she's laying on her dog bed next to me, happily chewing on a rawhide bone.  It's almost hard to imagine how sick she is.  I'm so depressed.

Hugs,

Karen

portiasproudmom

Hang in there, Cheryl.  My current problems are nothing compared to what you're getting ready to embark upon.  I have faith that you're going to be just fine.

Hugs,

Karen

mumito

Dear Karen

My kitty is 14 years old and has a large tumor on his chest.We are not going to put him through surgery.  I have narcotics for him when he needs them but so far he is eating and feeling okay.When he gets bad I am going to put him down so he doesn't suffer too much.  I am so sorry for you I know how you feel.  Its much harder when your children are still young.  My daughter is an adult but she still freaked when she found out both her mother and cat have cancer.Good luck with your decisions.

livesstrong

Karen - let her go - don't let her suffer.

livesstrong

Sue -

Thanks for the rant - Its EXACTLY how UB & I feel!!

AE

NanaOfTen

Good morning all,

Up and getting ready to go and see the surgeon today. Had the cat scan yesterday.My oc gave me steriods and had me take benedryl so the iodine wouldn't stop my breathing. worked. phew. got home and the hospital called, my pet scan is scheduled for next wednesday. My oc called my daughter at her work to talk with her, to see if she had any questions and had my son come in the office to chat with him (I feel I have a good group of doctors getting together. They all talk with one another before making a decision and want to keep my family in the know.).The oc mentioned to my daughter that I will probably have my surgery monday or tuesday. I so want that behind me. I will find out more this morning.

Cathi, so glad to hear you went to the hospital. You are too sweet a person not to take care of yourself. Rest, let them tend to you and get better.

Sue, I hear you. Bootface sucks bigtime! I am ready to kick its butt!

AE, UB is in my prayers along with the rest of you. The wait time just stresses one so much.

You all don't know how you help me get through this new journey I am on. You have taught me so much, give me so much strength.

Wren, fix that boob, hope your infection clears up promptly.

Karen, I feel for you. I have a lovely siamese cat. My son found her. The nabors next to me left their home and it was foreclosed.  When they left, my son kept hearing kitens and searched until he found her and her brother in the garage. They just left them. We were able to save Sophie, her brother died. She was so small, should have still been nursing. I have had her now for almost 2 years. Pets are so loved and know you are hurting over this.

Oh yeah, when I saw my oc, he examined me and discoved a tender lymph node in my neck he didn't like. hmmmm I'm thinking (hoping) it's because I had a slight fever, maybe it was just doing its work.The cat scan will tell.

Any way ...

Jumping into the shower, getting dressed, off to see the surgeon ... down the yellow brick road

Cheryl

shari1232

I love you women.  That is all.

portiasproudmom

We love you too, Shari.  I love you all.  Thanks for the words of support.  I didn't sleep all night.  Rusty was very restless.  He obviously knows something's going on.  He's feeding off all the negative emotion and energy in the house.  Dogs are so smart, aren't they?

Love and hugs to everyone,

Karen

lvtwoqlt

Karen, When I was growing up we had a beagle named Snoopy (of course), we had him from a puppy and he was about 15 and started acting like Tinker (accidents in the house and throwing up). Dad took him to the vet and he said that he could give us meds and prolong his life 3 or 4 months but he wouldn't really be comfortable. Dad wouldn't let them put Snoopy down until he brought him home and we could say our good-by's. Dad was with the Snoopy when he was given the injection and brought the body home to be buried in the back yard. My brother took a flat stone and carved Snoopy across it with a chisel. When we moved from that house, Eric insisted that we bring that large stone with us and it is in the border of my mom's iris flower bed.

AE and UB, I am praying for clean scans, I am with Sue in cussing out this terrible bootface.

Cathi, glad your hubby 'talked' you into going to the hospital. You should start feeling better in a few days, just let the meds do their work and relax.

Sheila

sueps

Karen xxxxxxx

What a sad time you are having.... I feel you xxx

The greatest love you can give Tinker is to put every sadness aside and do whats best . I really wish I had known that Zippy had probably been suffering for months.... and I carry a lot of guilt.

I am so sorry  it is a horrendously difficult situation.... you have to judge and do whats best with the huge love you have .

I am thinking of you loads.... I still ache over Zips xxx but he is in my heart forever and ever and ever x x x 

portiasproudmom

Thanks Sue.  The loss of Zippy is still so fresh, isn't it?  Please don't feel guilty--you couldn't possibly have known that he was suffering.  Do you know for a fact that he was?  Sometimes, I catch glimpses of the old Tinker, but for the most part, she's very lethargic and just keeps looking at me with those sad eyes.  She shifts around constantly, trying to get comfortable.  I hate that.  It makes me feel so bad for her.  I fed her steak last night (and will again later today),  I also bought her some of her favorite rawhide toys to chew on.  I wonder if she's oblivious to what's going on, or if she knows?  Somehow, I think she knows.

Love and hugs,

Karen

sueps

Karen I am sure they know too I took Zippy to the vets a few years ago when he was ill and when he was on the exam table he was purring as if to say thx .... I think he knew on Oct 28th....Animals are clever but they dont say do they.. (   I was saying goodbye to Zippy the month leading up...for some reason something made me give hime more and more cuddles and love and kisses and talks.... I think Tinker knows.... animal and human bonds are something else..... XxX 

 I would give her loads of love.... just for now until she is all loved up....and think .... ask her....tell her .... you will feel that much better.... I was so thankful I had an hour with zippy and so glad I intuitivley gave him extra love the previous weeks xxx

Stiil very sad these things.... love hurts xxx 

honeygirl

Oh my dear , sweet sisters and UB. Sooooo much is going on.

Judie , ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Judie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) You are always in my thoughts and heart. I hated saying good-bye to you , when I knew you as "Towhee" , and I won't say good-bye as I have come to know you as my sweet sister Judie. I think my best thought for you is , I will always know you. You have become a part of my life , and always will be , hopefully not just in memory  , but always in memory and prayers. As all the ladies here. You have helped me on many occasions , and just knowing you were there and thinking about my problems and offering your great wisdom and love is more than I can ask for. I shall always treasure our "talks" here and laughter and tears. And someday , I will go to Washington , one of my dreams , and have a great visit with you. I wish you well. And know that you are loved , and a part of something wonderful. A bond between sisters that will always be. Please stop in once in a while to let us just be excited and happy to hear from you! Love you Judie. May you always have peace in your heart. And no matter where you are , or what you are going through , know that you are always loved. C ya later.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Mel

portiasproudmom

If you come to Seattle, I want to come up north to see you both.  Okay, Mel?  I've wanted to go see Judie so many times, but haven't had the opportunity.  I'd really love to meet you.  Judie and Wren too.  She lives in my area.  I could really use some hugs right now. 

Love you all,

Karen

honeygirl

Karen honey , I am so sorry you are going though this diffucult decision. There is just no easy way for this to happen. I remember when I had to put down my "honeygirl", Edwina. I waited cause I hoped she would go in her sleep , peacefully. But she didn't. And with Ed , she got sick over a period of time , kinda gradually , so I thought she wasn't suffering. But when they told me she only weighed 4.5lbs , I knew she was suffering silently like most pets do. I didn't blame myself though , I saw it as the time her and I wanted together. But when she started loosing control of her urine , and just slept or stared in silence , I knew it was time.

Karen , you too will know when it is time. Its very hard. There is no easy way. I just looked at it , that my Edwina was just exsisting , and she was tired. They have a way of letting you know. Just remember , Tinker sweetie will be at that" rainbow bridge". God has blest us all with our special pets , and there is no way that He would not give them a special place in Eternity . God is Love. And our furbabies give us unconditional love. What more could we ask for. My Edwina is playing tiger in the grass with sweet Zippy right now! And when the time comes , they will be chasing Tinker and waiting to see us once again. Love you Karen.xxxxxxx Mel 

Shirlann

Oh Karen, I sent you a PM.  This is the pact we make with our pets.  We will love them, care for them, and thank God for their endless love, and in return, when it is time, we will let them go.  I wish we could do that for each other.

So unless the vet gives you a real good prognosis, inflicting pain on a hopeless case is silly, in my opinion.  Time concepts are not a thing a pet worries about.  If they have any fault, it is that they don't live long enough.  But I know all my dogs and cats will be waiting for me wherever I go when I die.

Love you honey, so sorry for this pain, Shirl

livesstrong

Karen,

I know so well the heartache you are feeling.   I remember when my dog Cody was sick.  He had an anal sac tumor.  He was 15 and could still go for walks (although not far) and he would play with Delbert and eat like there was no tomorrow.  Then one day I came home from work and he wasn't at the door to greet me.  I found him in the living room just laying there.  I managed to get him to go out to do his business but it was an effort.  Right then and there I knew - I callled the vet, and UB at work and told him to come home - it was time.  We took him that night and we were there to say goodbye.  My point is - you & Tinker will know when its time.

Hugs my friend.

 AE

honeygirl

Karen , there is NO WAY I would come to Wash. and NOT see you!!!!!!!!!! Me , you and Judie , will pick up Wren , and we will go surpise Jule! She and her honey will just have to be apart for a day and night so we can eat , drink , and laugh and cry! I wish I could give you a REAL hug right now...

honeygirl

Hi AE. Great big hugs to you too. Bootface certainly DOES suck! I'll be keeping UB in my prayers , as always. Remember , it is just something the onc saw on a film. And you know they have to check EVERY little thing out. I know we are suppose to be greatful the docs do this , yahda, yahda , Its just so annoying! I remember pre-bootface , my doc would say , "I'm sure its nothing , lets wait awhile and check it again"! But because we are all "special"now ,cause we have been to the land of "Bootface" , they have to check it out. Val , you have probably been that route more than anyone here. And it was nothing. So hang in there Uncle Bill , we love you and you are always in my prayers. One day at a time. Hugs to you both.xxxx Mel

honeygirl

Hi Sue! I'm so glad to see ya here! I miss you. So glad you are feeling somewhat better. Sorry you are having pain with your sinuses' but glad thats all it is. Glad to hear they fired that @$#%^^ , good for nothing idiot. Hope things get better at work.

How are the boys doing? Did they have a good Christmas? I hope they are well. Give them a hug from me. Hey , hows your hair coming along? Have you had a cut and a style yet? Post a pic. Mine is just past my neck. I have had it cut a couple of times now. I am trying to let it grow long. But the top of my head is straight and flat , then the ends still have curl! I have to put big rollers in the top half of my hair to get some volume. Some days I think I should just cut it off short! But then I look at pics pre-bootface and I want that back again. I think I'll wait till spring and see what it looks like...

Well Sue , I'm sure you are fast asleep. Take care , and hope to hear from you again soon. Love you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Mel

honeygirl

Hi Shari ,l love you too!

honeygirl

Hi Shirlann! Thanks so much for sharing the pics and videos with us. Walt is soooo handsome! I can see why you have "kept him around"!lol I'm glad you two had a great time. Wouldn't it be great if we could all go on a cruise together!?! Gosh , who could make that come true? Maybe I'll write to Rosie O'Donnell , she could turn the gay cruise "pink" for  a year?! Wouldn't that be awesome! Well , happy New Year Shirlann. Love you. xxxxxx Melody

honeygirl

To all my friends here...

NanaOfTen

Hi ladies,

I saw my surgeon yesterday. How does one know they are making the right decision???

Okay, he told me a lumpectomy would be the best as I have large breasts and the amount he would take is that of a breast if "normal" and then if I want, I could have a reduction of the other breast later. Or I could have a mast done. If I decide on a mast with a recon, then I have to see a pc first and all is postponed.

I so want this part behind me so I can get on with the fight!

I may have to have chemo, he said a high chance (90%) that I will. shi$%^()&BT&)T

My daughter went with me. Moral support and a sounding board. I decided on the lumpectomy. He will also be taking out 3 (I believe he said 3) lymph nodes. I am not getting a recon, and may decide later to have the one not operated on reduced, but then again, why? if I may get cancer in that one later? then if a surgery is done, what is left?

What difference does it make in how old we are as to whether we have a recon done or not? We are all women, regardless of age, we care how we look. I am of the mind, right now, thinking, this is me, I will have battle scars, but it's part of me. At least I am here. But they said something about ... if you were of your daughter's age, i would recommend the recon, but since you are of your age, well, maybe you don't want to have it done.??? This did NOT influence my decision, if I wanted it I would be going for it.But I thought, what the heck? I'm not that old, and I don't look bad, most people think I'm still in my 40s. geez

I still need to have surgeries done to heal my body from the auto accident and feel having the recon would only postpone getting those done, I want to walk without pain ... my knees need fixing! I can put pads in my bra. I do not need to be perfect for anyone. This is me, baby, take it or leave it.

How does one decide, and live with it. I wake up and then think AM I making the right decision.

I get a call yesterday and was asked, "are you 'happy' with the results of the visit?' happy? i ask. no. i'm not happy. what the heck! I don't want this, can't think of anyone who is "happy" with the results of having a lumpectomy, radaition, chemo, hormone therapy ... ?!

hmm, think my irish temper is flaring

Well, i was finally exhausted and slept like a baby without the use of meds. I slept close to 11 hours. emotionally and physically pooped out.

Any suggestions, tell me your stories of decisions and how you came about them. please o please, surgery is scheduled for next wednesday.

xoxoxox Cheryl

kapiolani1969

sueps......

i can only image what your thinking and feeling seeing that i too an im the same position about the bilateral masectomy.  as it stands i still am in the non-invasive stage, but before i could have my surgery my surgeon wants too look at more thing and make sure that it is not invasive.  it is hard to wrap your head and thoughts to all of this, but when you start working through the fears and you start getting real answers, it's not that is gets easier, you just understand what your up against better.

i have smaller children and that is one of my biggest concerns, but what i am figuring out i have people that love me and my children that will help me through this.  it is amazing what influences one has when they don't realize.

i could tell you be strong, but there are times that you have to fall apart to become stronger.  know that my prayers are with you and please if you need someone to talk to just send me a letter!

portiasproudmom

Well, plans have changed regarding Tinker.  The vet called and she had had a radiologist look at Tinker's x-ray.  He's thinking that Tinker doesn't have a tumor on her liver, but an enlarged spleen.  She also has an enlarged esophagus.  She mentioned a specific illness (can't for the life of me remember it---it's VERY long and technical sounding), and they would be able to confirm it by taking blood.  She would then refer me to a specialist.  Yuck!  More money!  I don't know how I'm going to do this.  My dh hates the dog and refuses to spend any more money on her.  Sigh.......Even if she's diagnosed and treated, she'll eventually aspirate food into her lungs and develop pneumonia. 

What to do??  What to do??

Hope everyone's having a wonderful weekend.

Hugs,

Karen