I am getting there! Slowly. There is Hope!

Ka-Loni

Hello, I need to thank you my lovely and thoughtful friends. I love hearing from you all. You know today is so beautiful out, but I feel a little in limbo again. It is so amazing how quick it all turns around. All, I do is wait my life away. I try to take it day to day, but, I am getting so impatient. I feel that I am so useless right now. And, it just will not end for me. All I want to do is get on with my life and be a normal functioning person, live my dreams and be successful. I hate being like this. I guess all I can to is keep hoping. I can't give up now.

God Bless You Ladies,
Kaloni

ripplesdf

Kaloni, Sorry I haven't been on most of the day here, but I've had a busy time with all the funerals going on. I ended up watching 2 of my 4 kids today and didn't plan on it. I haven't been feeling so well. I think I have a bladder/uti. I've never had one, but it hurts every time I pee and I keep getting the urge and only go a little. Just what I needed. I have a dr appt. tomorrow (in between a funeral and a viewing). But I am so sorry you are having such a rough time with this waiting game. It has driven me absolutely crazy these past few months waiting for my biopsy and wondering. I could not do anything and I haven't even gone thru what you have. I feel so guilty. I'm crying as I'm posting this because about 2 hours ago my surgeon called me herself to tell me the great news that my pathology is....B9!!!!!! I'm numb. I can't beleive it. I am so relieved, but at the same time apprehensive and feel like I will never look at my breasts the same again. I have learned a very hard lesson to insist for answers when I'm not happy with what I'm told-more like not told. I have to go back to the surgeon on Friday and will discuss the results in detail and find out when my next mammo/us will be done. I don't know if I mentioned before that long before all this thickening was noticed, I had decided to see a PS about reduction surgery and that consultation happens to be on the 16th. Don't know if DH's insurance will cover it, but I'm going to give it a try. I know I recently read an article that they are finding that this type of surgery may reduce the chance of breast cancer. I'm not counting on it, but I'm so tired of the pain in my shoulders, back and neck. If nothing else, maybe it will get rid of some of the lumps that seem to increase with age.
I have opened a bottle of Robert Mondavi Woodbridge Pinot Noir and am drinking a toast to us all. I love you ladies so much and have gotten so much inspiration from you. I am so happy to have found this website and will always keep in touch. I cannot believe how sweet and supportive you and, Honey and Jackie have been. I will always have a special place in my heart for you guys. You mean so much to me.
I hope you have had a better day since you posted, if not know how much I care for you and pray for you that the time will pass quickly. Like a lot of people have said, go ahead and cry. Get it out. It gets rid of the stress at least for a while.
I have called my 3 kids and some friends to tell them my new. DH doesn't know yet b/c he left to go mow someone's lawn about 5 minutes before my doctor called. I can't wait to let him know and drink a toast with me.
I will check in on you tomorrow. Hope you have a beautiful night.
Love ya lots. Love, hugs and prayers. Keepin' the faith...Dawn

Ka-Loni

Hi Dawn, You have no idea how nice it is to have you on here.Your posts are so appreciated. You just being you. I do not know what happened to everyone else. I guess it is just me and you. I hope honeygirl is OK. And, Jackie too. I am so glad everything is B9 for you. That is wonderful news. Today, I still feel in limbo, but I will live. I sure hope you start feeling better soon too. My good thing today was coming here and reading your beautiful post. Well, remember me in your wine toast. Your always in my thoughts and prayers dawn.

God Bless You,
Kaloni

JaxsonHarley

Hello My girlies!
I have not gone anywhere. I have just been really, really busy arranging my daughters wedding. Good heavens, It is never ending. Dawn, I am so doing a happy dance for you right now!! That is the most wonderful news! I am meeting up with the hubby after he golfs tonight, and I get out of work, and having a glass of wine to toast to your good news! Last night, we spent all evening putting on all the new accessories for my bike. I bought a backrest, and a luggage rack, so we don't look like the beverly hillbilly's everywhere we travel.I hope you continue to come here, I have grown quite fond of you girls!
Kaloni, here is your good thing today from me, ~MUAH~ Abig kiss and (((HUGS))). Hey, how did your fish turn out? That sounded really delicious, and I am not a big fish person. Any leftovers? Ha, you will have to post a recipe here.
Honeygirl, how are you?
I found out today that they are adding herceptin to my treatments, I have to do this every week.For 1 year.Oh well. Gotta do what you gotta do.I am telling you now, I have a trip planned next April, and I won't be in for that treatment that week. hope they don't mind! We will have to schedule around it somehow. Now I wonder if this will put off my finishing my reconstruction after regular treatment is finished?Something I have to look into. Well girls, have a nice evening, I have to get ready to close up here soon. Sweet dreams until tomorrow, Love Jackie

ripplesdf

Hi friends. I've missed you. Even though it's only been a day since I've posted. We had a very busy day yesterday. We had to attend a dear lady's funeral who died from BC at the young age of 63. She battled it 16 yrs ago and did very well and then it showed up again last year. She is my sister's mother in law. She will leave a big hole in everyones' hearts. Then I had a doctor's appt. late in the afternoon for what may be a UTI. Won't know until the culture comes back. Then last nite we attended a viewing and today we will be attending a funeral for our school superintendent. He died suddenly at his home on Sunday after complications from surgery done at Sloan Kettering for esophageal cancer! Unbelievable. He was only 59 and leaves behind a loving wife who is a nurse and 3 beautiful grown daughters. He said he just didn't feel right so his wife called 911 but he died before they got their. She tried CPR but could not revive him. Such a shock. We still can't believe it. Just numb. Both our grown daughter's who are teachers attended with us. They knew him well. We have a very small school-about 400 kids in the WHOLE school so it is a very close knit family. Our girls were very shaken up and don't cry too easily. They are very "up" girls and not a lot gets them down. I can't stand seeing my kids hurt but it's something we all have to deal with.
I guess it really hit home for all of us how precious every moment of every day is. I look around me and see so many families who fight and argue and stress out over ridiculous things and I am reminded of how precious a family I have and how lucky I am that we are all so close and caring. It really bothers me when I see people whose family members carry grudges against this one or that one. Life is too short.
Sorry to ramble, but DH is at work this AM and I really needed to talk to someone besides my dog and cat (LOL). My toasts to you ladies were very much enjoyed the other nite and I do appreciate you "sharing" them with me. You have been my lifeline to sanity. I will be seeing my surgeon today for my 1 wk follow up of my biopsy. I guess it's healing well, but it is so sore. A little red on the incision at the top half of it. Hoping it's not getting infected. I tried to sleep without a bra last nite, but had to put it back on cause it hurt. It seems to hurt more than when I first had it done especially when I walk. We'll see what the doctor says today. It's a small price to pay for a lot of peace of mind.
Kaloni I pray for you every day hoping they pass quickly for you. I am promising myself to try to make myself do some of my keepsake teddy sewing this week. I have put if off for too long and need to get busy. Maybe this week will be back to "normal". I will have all 4 of my kids almost every day so that will make time pass and maybe I can move out of this "funk" I've been in. Hopefully you will find your "umpf" that will keep you busy and pass your time more quickly too.
Jackie sounds like your gonna do a lot of biking with all those accesories. Can't wait for my first ride of the season. It must be so exciting too planning your daughters' wedding. When is it? None of my kids are married, but one DD as a boyfriend and they plan on marrying in the next few years. Can't wait.
We are attending a wedding tomorrow that are son is in. It will seem so good to attend something happy after this week of funerals. I look forward to a nice slow dance with my DH and my son. Don't think I'll be able to fast dance-too much bouncing even with the best sport bra with my "girls" LOL. I'll behave myself (SIGH!!!) but will drink a few more toasts to us.
Take care. Sorry for rambling. It's my therapy I guess.
Luv ya lots!!! Keepin' the faith...Dawn

Ka-Loni

Hello, Just poppin in again. Thank you Dawn and Jackie for your sweet posts. Your both so sweet. Don't ever feel obligated that you have to post me. I know everyone is so busy. I enjoy just posting all of you. I hope honeygirl is OK. I posted on her thread a few times, but no response. Well I hope you both have a wonderful Mother's Day tomorrow. Enjoy your evening.

God Bless,
Kaloni

JaxsonHarley

Hi Girlies!!
Just popping in to wish you a very Happy Mother's day!
Kaloni dear, I always look forward to these posts, they have become my bright spot everyday! I have grown very fond of you,I want you to be able to come here everyday and find your good thing. I promised you I would be here for you and I will! So what is cooking in your kitchen today?! My daughter is taking me out to a Japanese Steakhouse for dinner, this should be fun! I hope you all enjoy your day, Lot's of (((hugs))) and much Love to you girls, Jackie

honeygirl

Hi Ladies. Happy Mothers day. I will be brief. I am in alot of pain. I had an MRI done on Fri. and will be seeing a nerologist Mon. It just hurts so much to use my left hand and arm. I am taking skelaxin and percocet. I will write more after I see the doc tomorrow. Say a prayer for me. Hugs and prays to you all.

Ka-Loni

Hi My Sweet Ladies! I am so happy to hear from you honeygirl! I Love hearing from you. I know you have been in so much pain. My prayers are with you, that God heals your pain. I love hearing from you to Dawn and Jackie. Your so inspirational to me. I am doing well. I am going to start volunteering my spare time where I get my treatment soon. A few days a week. I have to do this for myself until my surgery. It will help me in the long run with my self esteem issues. And, give me a head start on helping others. I think they can use me there. Today, I will make sure I do my walk along the lake. My good thing was coming here today. Please know how much your appreciated on here. You all have become such a part of me on here. I will keep on hoping and praying for all of us.

God Bless You Ladies,
Kaloni
.

ripplesdf

Hi Ladies. Happy Belated Mother's Day!! Sounds like everyone was busy. Me too. After all the funerals last week, the wedding we went to on Sat. was a godsend! Our son looked SOOOOO handsome in his tux. We had a nice time but boy was I pooped! Yesterday we went to one of DD's for dinner. She's a teacher, but I think she was a chef in one of her past lives (LOL)! She wouldn't let me in the kitchen so I sat out on her porch in a lounge and fell asleep! Woke to something smelling heavenly. She had made scallops wrapped in brushutto(sp) and a penne pasta with roasted tomato/basil on penne pasta! Thanks Rachel Ray!! Glad to hear from everyone. This is my "good thing" everyday to keeo in touch with you guys.
Honey I am glad to hear from you but SO sorry you are in such pain sweety. My heart and prayers go out to you that they soon find the cause and get you some much needed relief. I will pray for you.
Kaloni so glad you're volunteering. It will surely help you in more ways than one as well as helping others with your knowledge and caring. You are quite a lady.
I will be going Wed. to see a PS about breast reduction surgery. Don't know if I'd mentioned it to anyone before on this thread. I made the appointment back in Feb. hoping that this would possible give my shoulder and neck problems some relief. Didn't plan on having the biopsy when I made the apptmt for this guy. I had to wait 3 months to see him and it's here already. Don't know if DH's insurance will cover, but it's worth a try. I have wanted to have this done for over a year now and finally got the courage up to at least have a consultation. I am so tired of these "girls" giving me so many aches. Hopefully they will approve it and I can have it done this summer while I'm not watching any kids. I know two people who had it done for back/shoulder and neck pain and said that they felt great and would do it again if they had to.
We'll see.
Hope everyone is having a great Monday. And my good thing for the day is having all 4 of monsters back and coming here to say hi after a long weekend.
Love, hugs and prayers. Keepin' the faith...Dawn

Ka-Loni

Hi ladies, I am just checking in tonight to say hello. Well, my day was a little busy. I went to my support group, and I checked in with volunteer services so I can start volunteering soon. Then, of course, I had to stop at the University South Florida for my anti-depressants. God knows I need those. So, here I am at home now. Tonight, is Chicken Stirfry. Yum! I am another Rachel Ray! My good thing today was going to my support group and to be able to breathe the fresh air.I hope you have a great evening. Your all in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless You Ladies,
Kaloni

ripplesdf

Hey Kaloni. I haven't been here all day. I have been sooo LAZY. I'm not feeling very well. Last nite my throat started to hurt, like really scratchy all the way down into my chest. I don't have a cold, no sniffles or stuffiness. Can't seem to shake it. I drank tea most of the day just to get it to feel better. My doctor's office called today to inform me that I have a urinary tract infection!! I've apparently had if for a week now so they faxed a script to the drug store for Cipro. I hope it takes care of it. Maybe it will get rid of this sore throat too.
Well it's off to the PS tomorrow to see if I can get a reduction. If not, I'm going to just have to live with it.
We had grilled chicken tonite and whole wheat fettucini tossed with basil, garlic and olive oil. Very yummy.
I've got to deliver my DD's 30th birthday present (it was yesterday). I ordered her a set of Rachel Ray porcelain pots and pans from Penney's. She was so excited when I told her it had been ordered, but had to be delivered from the manufacturer. Guess she'll have to cook us something to break in the new pots and pans (LOL).
Take care everyone. Hope youi're getting some pain relief Honey. Jackie we were going to take the bike on Saturday to a picnic in Shokan about 1 hour away for my DH's job-he works for NYC Dep. He is a supervisor for the Land Management Division here. He oversees the Schoharie Reservoir for the NYC water system. Anyway it sounds like we'll be rained out (SIGHHHHH). Oh well. I'll just have to be patient!
Good nite. Sweet dreams all. Love,hugs and prayers. Keepin' the faith...Dawn

Ka-Loni

Hi Ladies, I am so thankful Dawn your still posting. Keep posting. I love to read your long sweet messages. Jackie will be back soon. I guess it is just us. This has been a long thread. Today, has been a long day. I am getting myself down again with all this waiting. All I do well in here lately, is waiting. I am waiting my entire life away, and it is a shame I have no control over it. I am not sure when I will start volunteering. Hopefully, soon. It will make me feel better about myself. Well, Tonight is Lemon-Peppered Fish and Red Potatoes and Salad on my menu. Yum!
Well, I hope you all have a great evening, and keep me in your prayers please.

God Bless You Ladies,
Kaloni

honeygirl

Hi Kaloni , Jackie , and Dawn. I hope all is well. Dawn , I hope you are feeling better. Boy , everyone here sounds you are all good cooks! I love to cook.
Well , I seem to have a pinched nerve in my neck. I am still having pain down my left arm with "pins and needles". I am on meds that knock me out. Well , this is still painful to type. So hugs an prayers to you all. Oh , Kaloni , I think it is great that you are volenteering. You will be so much help to others. Take care.

JaxsonHarley

Hello my girlies!
I have been so busy. I had to go fro an echocardiogram today.My results will be ready when I go for the next chemo Tuesday. My hair is going rapidly, by the handful. I am having a head shaving party Saturday, with some of my son's friends who are also doing it to show their support for me.I am not sure I am quite ready for this, but there is no stopping it now!
Dawn, If you can ride early Saturday, it is supposed to be nice until the evening with showers later.We are going Friday to our dealer in Arkport, to ride with our son, who is picking up his V-Rod. We will try to go riding Saturday for a bit.
Honeygirl, I am praying for some relief for your pain, I am sorry you haven't been feeling well.Sleep well tonight.
Kaloni my girl, I am glad you are volunteering too. It helps heal the soul I believe.Keep up with the support group,it sounds like you do feel better after going there.And hang in there with the waiting. I too am in a holding pattern for my next surgery, to start reconstruction again after chemo.We will wait it out together.I finish chemo July 24th, and you have your surgery July 31rst I believe.We have all formed a great,loving, supportive bond here,we will get through all of it together!
I am going to check out the live discussion here at the board for Reconstruction.I wish you all a peaceful evening and sweet dreams to you all. ((Hugs))) and prayers, Jackie

Ka-Loni

Hi Sweeties, Here we all are! Jackie, Your doing fine with chemo. You know bald is beautiful! Yes, the support group is real nice. I would like to go to a larger one though.I am waiting for the volunteer services to call me. I would enjoy doing that until I have surgery. Oh, and the waiting is driving me wild. You know I am waiting my life away. Yes, we will wait it out together. Yes, July 31, is the big day. You know Jackie, we really have formed a great bond with each other and it's wonderful. We will always be a part of each others life in some ways or another. Someday we may all meet together. A half way mark. Honey girl posted her sweet message, and Dawn too. My good thing today was coming here and posting to you lovely ladies. Have a wonderful day.

God Bless You Ladies,
Kaloni

ripplesdf

Hi Ladies. I just lost a very long post-lucky for you...anyway, I'm alive, and feeling a little better. I have been sneezing for 2 days straight. I feel like my head is in a fishbowl at times. Thought it was a cold but am wondering now if I have allergies. I never had this problem before and haven't had a cold all winter.
Glad to hear from you Honey. I pray that God will surround you with His healing light and love and guardian angels' to ease your pain.
Jackie you guys must be so excited for your son getting his V-Rod! I watched something on TLC a while back that showed how they were made at the Harley factory in PA. Very cool! I would love to see one "in person". BTW BALD IS BEAUTIFUL!!!!My dear MIL was proof. I used to call her Tweety. I have a stuffed one that we strap on the back of our bike when we take our rides!
Kaloni, I am praying for you everyday that you will be blessed with so much "busyness" that your summer will fly by. June is almost here!!
I don't know if I said it here B4, but way back in Jan I made an apptmt with a PS for a consult for breast reduction surgery. My appt was Wed. I am tired of the pain in my shoulders/neck/back. I almost canceled when I found out about the lump, but I figured why not? Others do it for cosmetic reasons, mine is for easing pain. Dr says he thinks it will make a big difference and is submitting it to my ins. I will know in a few weeks hopefully and then my surgery would probably be in Aug. If its too late in the summer, I will have to wait until next year after school is out b/c I can't do any lifting for at least 2 weeks and I will be having a newborn to take care of in Sept. So....I'm hoping for early Aug. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I did find out that my left girl hangs 2 inches more that my right girl (LOL)!! When he was explaining the surgery and all the "possibles" that can happen but rarely do, he said sometimes there is necrosis-dead tissue-blah blah blah and sometimes it affects the nipples. He added that he's never lost any of his nipples. I know he was serious, but I SOOOOOO had to bite my cheeks and tongue to keep from falling on my a-- off the table laughing. I mean "I've never lost any nipples"!!!!! Oh I'm sure he must have seen it in my eyes that I wanted to laugh. Oops! It fell off in the shower. Sorry if I'm too graphic ladies, but it just hit me in the funny bone.
Anyway. I'm hoping all of you have a great weekend and all my love, hugs and prayers for you. I will drink a toast to us this weekend as soon as I'm off my meds!
Love ya lots. Keepin' the faith...Dawn
YOU ARE ALWAYS MY GOOD THINGS FOR THE DAY!!!

Ka-Loni

Hello, thank you for posting. Your all so lovely. I figured I would pop in and say Hello. Today was a beautiful day and I got in my flower garden. I pulled all my petunia's that were getting ready to go. I will replant new flowers for this Summer. And, I put our water fountain in the garden to for the birds and squirrels. It will be real nice. My good thing today was coming here and seeing your lovely posts. I hope you ladies have a good evening.

God Bless,
Kaloni

JaxsonHarley

Hi Girlies!
Dawn You are so cracking me up! I wonder if there is a lost & found for stray nipples! Ha! Back after my frist diagnosis, my left one (bad one) was a lot smaller than the right one.So I went in for a reduction for the right side. After it all healed, I had nipples that made it look as though Marty Feldman were looking back at me in the mirror! Every where but straight! I had to go back for a revision, which came out great,but when I told the Dr. to get rid of Marty, she almost lost it.I am glad you are also feeling a bit better. I too have the sneezes, I think it is a touch of allergies.
Honeygirl, hope this finds you feeling better as well,and angels of comfort have found their way to you.
Kaloni, I am so glad to hear you were out in the garden, enjoying the day.The fountain sounds beautiful! I too feel a special bond with you and Dawn & Honey, we will always be a part of each others lives.Wouldn't it be great to meet someday!
I am trying to get used to this fuzzy bald feeling, man this is weird! Especially on the bike today! What was nice was getting ready in a flash, I have never taken such a quick shower before! Seemed almost like a waste of water to be in there only for a minute or two!
Well, my good thing definitely was coming here to find everyone having such a good day, that made me very happy. Sweet dreams to you all,will check in tomorrow, Love & (((hugs))) and prayers, Jackie p.s. what was for dinner?!!

honeygirl

Sounds like everyone has a great sense of humor here. I am sure its alot of what gets us through this roller-coster ride. I come here and start reading all the post so by the time I try to write you all my arm is killing me! Its sitting in this upright chair that sets it off. I guess I need to move my recliner to my computer!lol. I hope you all had a good weekend. Next time , I will write you guys first then read. Well I am making city chicken and a baked potato casserole and brussel sprouts.
Tomorrow I have to go see an Oncologist. I am so not looking forward to this. I can't seem to get myself emotionaly prepared for this. I was doing dishes yesterday and thought about chemo and just started sobbing. I don't know how I will get through this "phase". I guess I think about the other cancers and heart trouble chemo causes and wonder if it is really worth the extra 5%. Ok Ladies , need to start dinner. Hope your all enjoying the rest of your Sunday. Hugs and Prayers to you all.

Ka-Loni

Hello my sweet ladies, Today was a wonderful day for me. I planted some beautiful Zinnia's and Penta's flowers in my garden. They look beautiful. And, get ready for this! I have great news! The scheduling dept called my mom today, and told her there was a cancellation of a surgery. I am finally having my surgery on June 4. Boy! you know how much relief this is on me. I have been in such limbo here lately, waiting and waiting. Now, I feel something is rolling. I do believe God has his plan for me after all. I just keep holding on to my faith and hope and I will get there. I will update you soon.

God Bless You Sweet Ladies,
Kaloni

Ka-Loni

I just had to post again. I am getting things sorted out this morning on the phone. I have my Pre-Op on May 29th. And, I will be having a Bilateral Breast MRI on June 1. They want to just make sure everything is good to go. Do you know This means I have to rearrange my schedule of appointments again. Ha! I am glad to do it. I am so relieved of the "life limbo" that was hanging over my head. I can finally see some progress. I am starting to see a little tiny light shining through at the end of this long tunnel. I am getting there. I will continue to keep
God close by me and continue to pray for that light to become bigger and brighter.

God Bless You Ladies,
Kaloni

ripplesdf

OMG Kaloni that is the greatest news!!!! God does answer our prayers!!! I am so very very happy for you. I haven't been here a few days b/c of being sick and this is by far MY good thing for the MONTH!!!! I am so excited for you. That's just what you needed. I am crying and have goosebumps. I'm doin the happy dance!!!!I hope now you can find the peace that you so deserve.
I finally got to get out into my backyard under my twin maples (they are HUGE) that overlook my creek. It's a beautiful place. I love to go just sit and think and listen to the water. There were so many weeds under the trees I pulled out a whole wheelbarrow full. I have a few hostas and johnny jump ups there, but need to get more plants to fill it in so the weeds can't grow. I went out after my kids went home with their mom's. DH was mowing 2 lawns for businesses so I got the grill going and did some chicken and in between got all the weeding done. Now I just need to get to the greenhouse and buy some more perrenials. We still had frost last nite so I'll have to be careful. I love pentas and zinnias. Pentas don't do so well here in my area, but I got to enjoy my MIL's when I was caring for her in FL.
BTW my DH just got a letter from Citizen's Ins. from his mom's house there in FL and they are CANCELLING the ins. there in Oct.! They said b/c it is in an "estate" (ha,ha) that they will not insure it any longer and will not insure it in a personal name?! Doesn't make sense to us. His mom died 3 yrs ago from colon cancer without a "pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of". She got buy with her SS check and loved it down there, but she had no savings and got the house thru a VA loan with GMAC. So now DH has to see if he can get it insured thru another co. but it's doubtful b/c there is no "estate" and if he signs his name to it, we are financially responsible for it. We wouldn't worry about it but his aunt and uncle have rented it from us-only paying the mtge payments on it. We don't make any money-we just wanted to go by his mom's wishes and his aunt and uncle are in their early 70's. Now it looks like they'll have to move if their lucky enough to find a place as cheap. If not they will have to move back up north which I know will not be good for their health. They have 6 grown kids. Hopefully they can figure something out.
Honey I hope your apptmt with your onco went ok. I am so praying for you. I was thinking about you last nite when I went to my chiro apptmt. She helps me so very much with my pain management. Don't know what I'd do without her. I usually go every 2 weeks, but have not been in a month b/c of my biopsy. But when I went last nite, I could feel the difference especially in my neck by the time she got done with me. Know I am praying for you every day.
Jackie-You are a girl after my own heart! My DH and I always were fans of Marty Feldman!!! You're story was hysterical. I can't wait til he gets back from band practice to show him your post!!!! He is going to get a kick out of it. Maybe he won't be so uptight about me having the surgery. He says he supports me, but I think he has his reservations about it. I figure it's in God's hands and if I come out like Marty, oh well. It's meant to be and I'll know somewhere in the Finger Lakes I have a "twin" sister (LOL)!!!!BTW about your "bald is beautiful look" all I can think of is you on the bike losing a clump and hitting an innocent car-or bike and them wondering what the h--- was THAT!!!!! Hope that wasn't too crude, but I think you have the same sense of humor that I have. It made me think of the movie Wild Hogs. Did you see it? There was a part where their all on the highway and John Travolta is passing everyone laughing b/c they keep getting hit with stuff and as he's passing a big crow hits him right in the face!! It was hilarious!!! Anyway, all I could think of was you on your bike and this big puff of hair going "wham" into someone's windshield or bike!!! I hope that wasn't too crude, but I have this weird sense of humor-I think I got it from Ann my DMIL. She was a gem. I miss her so much. She always had me laughing. She always said we might as well laugh, it's a LOT better than crying. Oh-we're taking the bike out SATURDAY! YEAH! I can't wait!
Well, gotta go watch the rest of Idol. I just had to say hi. Sorry such a loooongggg post again!:}}
Love, hugs and prayers. Keepin' the faith...Dawn

honeygirl

See Kaloni , God knew just what you needed. I am so happy for you. I know how much you dreaded waiting. Well, the day you go for your pre-op is the day of my first chemo. I am so upset over this. I was so hoping I wouldn't have to do chemo. And after I left the oncs. visit , I sure could have used a mic ultra and a cigarette!!! As soon as she walked in the room and asked how I was doing , I started crying. She started saying that I have not yet found "peace with this " and I have to do that soon. First of all , she has known me for 5 mins. and me being emotional has nothing to do with finding peace. It made me feel like I should stop crying and not be myself to her. But , I was so emotional , I couldn't stop crying.Then she started talking about my weight. I had told her I had lost 80 lbs. but , have gained weight since all of this happened. And she started saying my being over weight for so long was surely the reason I got breast cancer! I understand they think they know some risk factors , but I know alot of women who were never over weight and got b.c. She just seemed like she was saying all the wrong things to me. And if one more person tells me (pertaining to my hair) " don't worry , it will grow back " I am going to explode! So today I had my port put in. Fri. I am going to look for a wig.
Ok ladies , I am sorry for being such a downer. I think I am going to go lay down. Jackie , Dawn and Kaloni , thanks for listening. Hugs and Prayers

Ka-Loni

Hi Dawn, Your long posts are wonderful for me. I was reading it with a smile on my face, and me too, cryed a tear. Yes, it is finally here dawn. God is right here with me, and has special plans for me. I am crying sweety... He knows where I should be in my life. So, I keep him in my pocket wherever I go. My whole appointment schedule has changed again. This is a good thing though. Things are going to start moving right along. I will finally start seeing progress in my life and dreams. Today, I am going to finish planting my flowers. It is so beautiful. I sure hope your feeling better. Dawn are you having more surgery? Well know your in my heart. Your in my thoughts and prayers each day. Enjoy your riding this weekend. You so deserve it. Take care.

God Bless You Dawn,
Kaloni

Ka-Loni

Hi, Here I am again! Well, the Pre-Op dept called me and I am now having both my Pre-Op and MRI on June 1. That is OK. Now, May 29, I know I can go to my support group session for a while. I will miss some group sessions, but, they all will be excited about my news. I want to let volunteer services know I would like to start after I heal. A couple days a week. It is getting more closer. I really can not believe it. Today, I am going to finish up some planting of mine. And, do some cleaning to stay caught up for surgery. My good thing was coming here today. I hope you have a wonderful day. And, have a great Memorial Day weekend.

God Bless You Ladies,
Kaloni

ripplesdf

Hi K-they moved us!! Glad I found you again. I am still praying that everything will go so quickly for you. I really believe in the power of prayer. I can't even imagine what you are going thru as well as all the other wonderful people here. Thank God for this site. It is a lifesaver for so many. I know it was for me.
I don't know yet if I'm having surgery, it's up to the insurance company. If it is approved it won't be until late August probably. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I am so tired of this constant pain in my back and shoulders.
I finally got to go out for a bike ride on the Harley last nite! It was sooooo refreshing. It is such a great feeling. I know why Jackie loves it so much. She's amazing to me to be going thru treatments and not letting it slow her down in the least. You all are such inspirations.
I hope Honey is getting some pain relief. I cannot believe the coldness of some dr's. Some just don't get it. I think unless it has happened to them or someone close to them, they have NO idea what a person goes thru. Just know Honey that I am praying for you as well as the rest of us.
Well, I gotta go prepare a little "surprise" picnic for my little ones today. It's just so gorgeous here I thought I'd make some sandwiches and sit out on a blanket and just enjoy the afternoon. Gotta bake some chocolate chip cookie bars!!! Take care all and have a GREAT Memorial weekend! Praying for all those who have served and are currently serving our country for the good of others! Amen...Love, hugs and prayers to all. Keepin' the faith...Dawn

honeygirl

Hello Ladies. My arm is finally feeling better!Thanks for all your prayers and positive thoughts. I really do appreciate all of you.
Yes , they moved us. I thought , where are the girls , they moved and didn't tell me!lol
Well , yesterday I went wig shopping. Didn't find anything. I did order one online from tlc. So if I don't like it , I can send it back. The place I had an appt. with yesterday was certainly a disaponintment. They only had two wigs for me to try on and neither one fit! So I will keep on trying other places.
I had a scare last night. When I got home from shopping , I got undressed and as usual , I now always check my breasts out in the mirror and feel them like some kinda of breast detective now! And my reconstructed breast was red and warm/hot to the touch. Needless to say I about freaked out. Then calmed down and thought what might have caused it. I finally called my ps' answering service. And he lives in another state and was home for the holiday weekend , so his associate called me back. He was great. Of course , he couldn't make a diagnosis over the phone , and told me to go to the er if I felt the need. I have no fever or pain. This morning it is not as red and is just as warm as my other one. So I am just going to keep an eye on it till I can see him on Tues. I was wonder also , the night befor this , I accidentally fell asleep with my heating pad on and since I have no feeling it that breast , if I may have laid on it and burned it alittle!?!
Well , I hope you all are doing great and having a wonderful and peaceful holiday weekend. God bless all our brave soldiers that are fighting for our fredom and all who have gone before them. Hugs and love to you all

JaxsonHarley

Hello all my lovely ladies!
Kaloni, that is such wonderful news, I am so very happy for you! Things are moving along now,Yay!!!Now just remember, on June 4th,you have to ask God to move over, so you can fit all of us in that pocket to be there with you!
Dawn, Yay for you too! You finally got that ride in! I know that I just feel so good, and so free when I am riding, it's my therapy. You crack me up with that hair ball flying off! That is way too funny!Yes I did see that movie, hubby took me to see it the week-end before my mastectomy.Too funny! Bill Macy stole the whole movie!I love your sense of humor, keep it coming!
Honeygirl,
Don't let the thought of chemo keep you down. I too was hoping not to have to do it by having the mastectomy, but then we found more cancer that we didn't know was there, so chemo is a must. I just had my second treatment, and so far I am doing pretty well with it. They have amazing anti-nausea drugs.I have not felt ill yet. A little tired a week later when counts are down, but nothing drastic. I still get out, ride that bike, do my gardening, I will not let "C" take any of that away from me. You have to keep a good, positive mental attitude, I believe that is half the fight.I also am praying that you don't have an infection brewing in there.Make sure you keep a good eye on it.
Well, I hope you all had a nice Holiday week-end. I was out all week-end, either riding, or digging in the garden and cleaning up around here, we have a wedding to get ready for, and August is slowly creeping up on me! I will check in later.((((hugs))) and prayers and love to you all, Jackie

honeygirl

Good Morning Ladies. I am a little nervous and mad. I am suppose to start chemo today. But someone "forgot" to send me for a muga scan , so now I wait to see if they can get me in for one , have it read and get to chemo or I will have to wait. On top of that I was suppose to start back to work tommorow. Well , my breast is fine. I don't know what that was all about.
I hope everyone had a great weekend. I will write later and let you know what happened today. Hugs and Prayers.