"Fortunately, Unfortunately"

Fortunately, Edward Scissorhands turned up and cut all the red tape for us

LOL!!  Fortunately, the sub was nimble enough to avoid the exploding depth charges.

Unfortunately, we threw up before the sick bags could be found and with no change of clothes we were a mess

Unfortunately, the Duty Officer saw us in uniform and assigned us to KP.

(kitchen patrol)

(ya got THAT right LOL)

Unfortunately, we were assigned to peel a mountain of raw potatoes (not delicious)

Unfortunately, the special "pot" was really special if you know what I mean, and we started feeling inappropriately talkative and sexy

Unfortunately, the ship was also dead in the water and drifting off course.

Unfortunately, the beautiful tropical island was inhabited by Robinson Crusoe types who hadn't seen a woman for decades (let alone anyone wearing 'darling sailor suits' )

Unfortunately, just as we were getting accustomed to being treated like queens a tribe of ferocious gorillas turned up.

Unfortunately, we didn't know the local idioms and unwittingly insulted the silverback (troop leader).