STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

mara51506

Thanks nanette. I know he can just make an account and keep invading my privacy BUT he will no longer be part of my life. I CANNOT lose this site or you guys. With all the crap going on at the same time, I cannot deal with his anger, hatred or whatever reasoning he has. I may delete my facebook too. For now, all passwords are being changed on all my sites.

edwards750

We have Colonial Penn life insurance. Their commercials are so misleading. $9.95 a month for little to nothing for life insurance. My husband also has long term care and life insurance at work plus we have a separate accidental death policy through our credit union. Obviously once he retires those coverages at work are history.

Once you reach a certain age the monthly payment skyrockets and your coverage drops drastically unless you want to pay those astronomical monthly amounts. We have enough to bury us and a bit more for other expenses. We do have a 401k account that we could use.

Diane

MelissaDallas

Edwards, a HUGE misrepresentation in commercials for those "no questions" life insurance policies is they imply your family will be left to pay your bills after you die. That is not the case. Nobody else is responsible for your bills. If there are not sufficient assets in your estate to pay everything, they just don't get paid.

Artista964

glad to hear my fam wouldn't get wiped out with my medical bills that my "estate" can't pay. That's criminal to lie to people like that. Those seeking life insurance over 50 are probably dealing with chronic or terminal conditions. Shame on alex trebek of jeopardy for making such a commercial. Too many people will lose money in the end thinking it's a good deal.

MelissaDallas

The commercials I'm thinking of imply that a couple's grown children would be responsible for paying their outstanding bills.

kathindc

One thing that aggravates me are the commercials for burial insurance. All you need to do is go to a funeral home and pre-plan your funeral. You can pay it off up front if you can or you can use a payment plan. Cuts out the middle man. Makes it much easier on family. Only extra expense would be if you died away from where you would be buried, there is a transport cost and if family wants extra items you didn’t attange for.

Wow Myboobs, your brother’s behavior is reprehensible. So glad you are changing your passwords. One can only wonder what else of yours he has hacked into.

mara51506

Apparently he felt is was his right to hack this account AND my bank accounts. All passwords have been changed and I am no longer speaking to him. Once my mother and I are dead, he will be happy. If you are reading this younger brother, shame on you. You hate me, that's OK. You don't have to deal with me anymore.

molliefish

thanks Runor, all. It's all kind a crazy but yes I'll keep the next 10 yr term renewal. Both kids should be finished school by then and our mortgages should be paid. IMHO it's a small price to pay to be sure the kids are set for their future. I worry about my hubs because he has RRS but no pension. If I go before the next term ends he should be ok but after that, we'll see. Funny that. Me worrying about 10 years plus life insurance to get the family through. I hope that's the case anyway. Love to all.

Micmel

Myboobs~Kharma is a real bitch when it comes to town a callin. Disgusting little things people seem to think they are justified in doing. Well we are justified in calling him an anal pore!! Hope he reads that one and realizes those are pretty disgusting. Soooo case closed. Leave our sister alone. That's right I said it sister. At least we have her back...for real!

I say this because I have an older brother I am estranged from and everyday I don't regret one bit. He took my computer to a computer shop to see if he could help my soon to be x husband gather dirt on me, during the divorce. Even though I am the one who was Home with the children for nine years. So I can understand the unbelievable disgust and disdain One can have for someone who just unfortunately holds the word brother because of blood only.

Leave her alone dooche!

mara51506

Thanks Micmel. According to my older brother, he felt perfectly fine hacking into my accounts. His wife did too. It is ugly but they are not welcome to visit my home as they have also shown some bullying behaviour to my mother who has lung cancer. Unacceptable. If they want to see her, older brother needs to be there. I will not be around.

If bullying cancer patients is acceptable, they are not worthy. Thankfully my older brother and SIL have our backs. Anal pores are definitely disgusting. Thanks for having my back.

nanette7fl

Well I found my missing life insurance policy and it was a HUGE relief!! Yes I think the funeral commercials are lies and I don't trust that reverse mortgage thing either.

About pre-paid burial plans. They are good as long as you keep up with the funeral home to make sure there isn't any increases. When my Grandmother died we ended up having to take out a $2500 loan to offset her burial costs. Her pre-paid plan was really old as she survived Grandpa by 15 years.

Now when my MIL died this past July her pre-paid plan was pretty much up to date and DH and his 2 sisters only had to come up with $600 to cover the costs. Mom survived Dad by 20 years.

Point being if you do the pre-paid plans it's a good idea to make sure your policy doesn't need updating. I'm a VET so they will take care of the burial costs but once my SSD finally gets approved I'm going to talk to our Funeral Director and see what else I will have to plan for....like transportation to another VET ADMIN approved cemetary if for some reason the local one gets full for Vets. Local cemetaries have limited VET plots unless there is a National Cemetary and they have lots of VET plots.

edwards750

Good advice Nanette.

Diane

bcincolorado

Had no idea they could raise rates once you pre-pay your funeral! I had better make sure my mom confirms with hers since she has already done it. Good knowledge to have.

mistyeyes

Check into it, I don't think its like that everywhere.  When my grandmother died and my aunt died years later, both of the pre-paid funerals were still standing, no extra money was charged to them.  It was only if we added anything more to the original arrangements that we had to pay for.

Artista964

check what was signed.

bella2013

My Mom & Dad had prepaid plans and we did not have to pay for anything except the obituary

Jenkins00

Every year during open enrollment I've applied for LTD with my company and this year denied because of my BC diagnosis. So unfair that a pre-existing medical condition affects LTD and Life. My husband and I are both affected now since he was diagnosed with cancer two years ago. Luckily we both obtained life insurance years ago.

Cascadians

Not raging anger but frustration at peculiar attitudes and need to vent.

The whole "It's normal to take out lymph nodes and render you incapacitated, disabled, handicapped for life" just floors me. Doing research, reading after sentinel or other lymph node removal one cannot, for the rest of his/her life: have blood drawn on that arm; have blood pressure taken on that arm; get a cut on that arm, or a bee sting, or a hang nail; or wear a shoulder strap; or lift anything heavy. That person may develop lymphedema and experience swelling, pain, and complications which restrict movement and are disabling.

Been reading many years' worth of forum threads since discovering this very helpful website and am just boggled at the whole lymph node situation. Scheduled for double mastectomy in less than 2 weeks and refusing to let anyone mess with my lymph nodes. I can live without breasts or hair but must have full use of my arms. I am not rich, nor do I have a large family. I have to work and be useful to survive. I cannot knowingly handicap myself. I am fat with large breasts so getting them cut off will excise some lymph nodes just because they're in breast tissue so lymph system is going to get messed up. No way I'm letting them go after the sentinel or axillary nodes.

Yes I fully understand it helps with diagnoses and staging. If there's micromets they'd want to do radiation. However the research studies show zero difference in survival rates or recurrence rates by removing lymph nodes. The whole subject completely and utterly freaks me out. Naturally I hope my choice doesn't doom me but I just can't let myself become disabled.

Already have autism, now cancer and diabetes so trying to hold onto functionality. Surprised haven't seen as much ranting about lymph nodes as I expected. Might be the autism, dunno, but just had to vent. My Drs are great but like everybody else they seem to blithely pass over the lymph nodes / disabling cause and effect without blinking. No way Jose.

WC3

Cascadians:

The first surgeon I saw wanted to remove a number of axillary lymph nodes but the breast surgeon I went with just removed the sentinel lymph node. So far so good but I think certainly I would have developed lymphedema if I went with the first surgeon.

leftduetostupidmods

I had a positive sentinel node. Fought real hard to have only one level of lymph nodes removed, and then real hard to NOT have radiation if the lymph nodes came back negative (which they did). My BS threw a tantrum and we had a very heated argument over this. 9+ years later, no recurrence and no lymphedema (knock on wood). My reasoning was the same as yours, plus " what are you going to radiate if the lymph nodes aren't there anymore? ". With all the disabilitating side effects from treatment, I could only imagine how life would have been having lymphedema on top of it all.

Meow13

I felt extreme pressure from my bs to have a port put in for chemo, when my oncodx was 34. I refused to do chemo and a message was put in my file by the breast surgeon. A radiologist technician told me about the note about a year later. My oncologist firmly suggested chemo but was fine with me declining after our discussion.

I know cancer is serious business but treatment is a decision for us not our doctors. Their job is to recommend not dictate.

dtad

Meow...totally agree! Its our bodies and our decision!

Kattysmith

in 2003 I had my Sentinel Node removed, but the surgeon also removed a few others. I have been fortunate in that I never got lymphedema. I carry heavy things with that arm and I do have blood draws from that hand, but no IV meds or blood pressure taken on that side.

AliceBastable

I hate the staff at my primary care doctor's office. Hate them. Grrr. I had a follow-up appointment with my urologist this morning, and they hadn't sent the necessary referral renewal over. When I called them, they claimed they sent it, but it wasn't there. When I said we needed it NOW, she got hostile like I was picking on her for not doing her job. She sent the fax, but with a nasty note on it. It looks like the urology staff is going to have a little chat with the PC's office manager. I guess it's not as bad as when they didn't send a referral when I was having surgery a few years ago, and the surgery got delayed a couple of hours. They're horrible; I procrastinate every time I have to call because of the rudeness level. Looks like it's time to find a new doctor, just because of her rotten staff. 😫

KatyK

Sadly, I can relate Alice. When I had my original bc diagnosis there was a young woman who was so rude and unhelpful in the surgeons office that a very kind nurse gave me her phone number and told me to call her directly. Apparently it wasn’t a secret but she was related to someone in the office so got away with her snarky behavior! If you are a Seinfeld fan there is a funny episode in which Elaine pisses off the doctors in town so she ends up at a vet’s office - sometimes I think that will be me

Meow13

I am looking for a new gp. I like my gp but she moved to a multicare center that is about 40 minutes south. I hate the staff at this center, same thing they say they sent in orders and don't do it. Also incompetent with dealing with BlueCross/Shield. Real headache.

AliceBastable

Its such a shame to have to lose a good doctor over bad staff.

Lita57

Alice, you need to let your dr and the office mgr know about the staff's rudeness. I'm sure you're not the only one who has experienced this treatment.

It's not right that you should have to give up a decent dr over because the staff is rude and inept.

L

Meow13

Lita, my gp is aware but when the practice she was with in broke up she jumped at this multicare center. It is close for her, she is overloaded with patients. She is 65 yrs old and seems to understand the middle age older age female problems. She knows about the staff but not really motivated to say anything.

Lita57

Sorry to hear that, Meow.

Me, being St IV Terminal now (and maybe only having a year or so left), I myself would just pull these Bit&$es aside and give them a piece of my mind. Of course, I don't care what people think of me or what I say anymore. (Like, what are they going to do to me? Cancel my TV SHOW, like Roseanne?)

There is no excuse for that kind of behavior. Period. They just don't get it. Until THEY get cancer themselves, they will never know the pain, stress, and heartache it brings. We need to be treated with kindness and respect as we go thru our Tx's and Dr appts. Fortunately, I haven't had to deal with too much of this, except with my original PCP, who I dropped like a hot potato and got someone else. Sadly, some people don't have that option.

Stay strong, L