Fuzzy's Romp Room
Comments
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Wren - wow...do you have a red cape? You swoopped in like SuperWoman and saved the day!! XOXOX
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I am going off to do a course next week, one for cancer peeps and feeling very vulnerable as
hate saying what kind of cancer I had and admitting to my deformity.......and I am feeling VERY vulnerable as I did not have chemo for very good reasons.....and philosophicaly not sure how much i believe in chemo but it is THE mainstream treatment so i feel kinda extra lonely and extra vulnerable, even though I don´t want to think like that as I do think my health and fitness is a lot different to when i first started to grow cancer.......(ie the year or more pre diagnosis)
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Lily, I can't imagine they will force people to say what their treatment is if they don't want to. If they question chemo, just say you were unable to do it for other medical reasons. There is an alternative thread on BCO for people who are not doing standard treatment. You might feel quite at home there. (((((HUGS)))))
Don't want you to think I'm saying not to post here. You are totally welcome here at any time.
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Lily, I did the chemo and wish I had not. I wish I had followed my inner voice and done the antihormonals because I think they would have worked better - taxotere just gave me neuropathy and 6 months to progression. I tried tamoxifen, but with the neuropathy and all the other SEs, just could not do more at the time. I don't want to do the woulda-coulda-shoulda, but I believe chemo did not help, and because of the SEs I was in no shape to follow up with tamoxifen. I am now going on Femara and hope it is livable. From what I have read, this is the treatment of choice for ER+, the antihormonals work better than chemo for ER+. So don't beat yourself up over NOT doing chemo!!! (and I am trying to not beat myself up for DOING chemo and NOT doing tamoxifen earlier....)
OK, fun thing today: I was listening to the radio, oldies rock&roll, on the way to Bible study, and on came Herman's Hermits, "She's a Must to Avoid" and I was humming that all morning. Not exactly religious inspirational....
Ladies, remember that men have XY chromosomes, and women have XX chromosomes. As my sister always says, they are missing a whole bunch of stuff on that small Y chromosome. Maybe bigger IS better....
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Hi Linda - funny we both feel same for different reasons!! My voice was screaming at me not to do chemo and i knew I was against it on a systemic level, for chemo to work best you need to welcome it apparently......so sorry you have all these se´s.....but its not too late and you might be glad you escaped tamoxifen
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Lily - you are not alone here, besides my surgery, I have made alternative choices and fit right in here, and there are more in the Romp Room who are same. Edited to add::: Also, there certainly are many alternative threads on bco, from natural hormones to prevent bc re'currence to foods to supplements and so many threads so look around in alternative forums and the complementary alternative too. But Fuzzy welcomes us here just the same. Thank you Fuzzy for that, this is the only place where I feel at home to be me.
Lily too - No matter where these articles hit us from, these are statistics, to me they don't count anymore. The research could have pulled 112,000 other women and come up w different results, then 112,000 others and still different. What matters, is your program working for you and healing you, not breaking you more... are you comfortable enough with your decisions. I know I have to look only at me, while learning all I can from others to take back to how it will fit for me. Like Fuzzy said, just don't look at stats, it is depressing, squashes hope and calm which are more important than anything else.
Linda, Sassy, Chevvyboy, the man discussion. Pouring my tea and adding to it, if I may. I have often wondered what the real lesson has been for me to be with Hubby. It is not perfect, he is as imperfect as I am, the only way I can handle it, I have empathy. He is imperfect in this way, me in that way, him and me, it balances out. Over the years he has proven to be a solid friend, he chose to love me above all others and has even evolved spiritually with me, all it took was a glimpse of the spiritual side of life for his eyes to open and he is the one who reminds me there is more than what we see, reminds me that it will work out. I suppose my lesson has been patience. I have not learned it enough yet, I know, poor guy. Going back to the first week we were married, if i had to do it over again, I think I would have left. Hindsight, the difficulty of staying and what I gave up to stay and the aggravation of staying.... knowing it now, having the strength I do now.... the first year, would have left, second through ninth year, we were so in love I thought I would die without him, the 10th - 15th year, would've left. Because it was hard, I thought there would be more romance, more something, easier to be together, know one another, not bring out the worst in one another which we often were then. Soul mates from Bridges of Madison County we were not, though we said we were. I was the wife, he the farmer sort of hahaha. Then something flipped and we were together on this spiritual journey. We became the best of friends, more than the beginning of our marriage. I truly discovered his forest and was not just tolerating being there, he discovered the unseen, yet felt side of life... what people say is metaphysical, I guess - we found these through one another. 32 1/2 years now. We both acknowledge we would have this whether together or apart. Bottomline, for me, if I were without him I simply could not stand to have less than what he fills my life with now. Believe me, it's not dancing, flowers, sex and dialogue. It's the stuff like - he likes trees and pet skunks and wildlife - he likes date movies - he believes in the metaphysical side of life - he is never late - he never disappears - he brings home every penny of his paycheck, there are no secrets or lies even to hide getting gifts - he has a beer or glass of wine once a month maybe (I come from an alcoholic family, step dad a jerk yet functioning, blood father mean and non-functioning who died of cirrhosis at 62, and Mom fell into the Christmas tree kind, I was not up for more lessons on that subject after dating several alcoholic men prior to marrying Hubby and do not know how I missed the mark, esp after marrying him in 23 days after first sight) - he hates the city, so we try to never go there as so do I - he loves Newfies too - supportive - helpful - takes the load off me as I do for him - and on and on. But he is far from perfect, I just am not making that list except to mention his driving, which I have told stories on before and saying chances are if we die we go together. *_*
I guess what I am adding to the conversation is this.... "If a partner is not trustworthy material, what is it worth?" I need the solid, the one who has my back and doesn't weaken me by making me doubt or play out my energy on what is he up to, where is he now. He is here because he wants to be and I need that or I need nothing at all except me and friends and family.... or just me. That keeps me strong I guess.
Sassy - yes, I will do lily of the valley soon. That was my grandmother's name, Lilly. My bowed psaltry that Hubby purchased for me, it has a lilly carved into the center opening. These are about the only lillies I like.
LOVEEssa
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LoveEssa -- what a tribute to your love for your (lucky) hubby. Here you hit it on the head: "If a partner is not trustworthy material, what is it worth?"
What I have now (that I never had before) is a man who doesn't make promises he isn't sure yet that he wants to keep. He talks slow -- thinks before he talks. Doesn't talk alot, but says something worth saying when he does speak. Holds my hand. Kisses my cheek. Smiles every time he sees me. Tells me he loves me. And I know he means it because he shows me he loves me a hundred times a day with the small things he does and the always-kind way he treats me. He is SO my best friend, and I love our daily walks in the woods... and our long (usually silent) drives up into the mountains -- just to go fill our eyes with nature and the glorious vistas. We can talk about anything - from comparative conversation about religion and New-Age Spirituality -- to politics (I am flaming Liberal, him Conservative about most things) -- to laughing silliness over something Charlie-the-dog does... And yet, we are completely comfortable in not talking at all -- me working on some art project or writing, as he reads on the couch. (He's an avid reader -- I love that about him
In my past I always chose "entertaining" and "clever" men -- who were pretty to look at, with a certain 'Bad-Boy' charm.
What on Earth was I thinking? How superficial I was, and I didn't even know it.
The love I feel now -- I simply wasn't mature enough to understand before now. I didn't have to 'kiss a lot of frogs' to find my Prince Charming -- I needed to grow up and stop being a frog myself!
Now, I feel like the luckiest woman in the world... and Les doesn't even have a clue how sexy he is.
Sheila -- THAT sort of man is who I wish for you, too -- Someone who can be your rock, not undermine your sense of well-being. BF can step up to the plate -- if he really wants to, but it means growing up some -- releasing the stubborn habits of the past that make him less-than-a-good-mate.
He may not choose to -- and that doesn't even make him 'wrong' -- only maybe 'wrong for you'.
Love you -- and hoping to hear from you soon! You know we are all here for you -- no matter what is unfolding.
Linda
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So I lean back in my chair and look up --- and there is a long grey Newfie slimer on the ceiling in a smiley half moon. Ugh, will have to use a mop to clean it off. Danny Boy, Newfie in question, must have had a shoestring hanging off his mouth and shook his head.
Ducky - I am posting again bcz I forgot to say I honestly cannot choose between rx and 'supplements.' Yes, the prescriptions are important, those being the bioidentical progesterone cream, D3, T3T4, B12, melatonin and metformin. All these address cancer and re'currence by balancing hormones, filling the PR+ receptors with bioidentical progesterone, melatonin is making me sleep at night so I can heal (I used to hang out in bed and worry about cancer cells, money, smoke from the neighbor's outside wood boiler), The D3 rx is special type for keeping D3 high so this does not happen again, as low D3 goes hand in hand w cancer so we need on the high side of optimal D3 results, and T3T4 is making my thyroid do its job, as thyroid issues also go hand in hand with breast cancer and/or heart issues esp for women at menopause. I was 'dying' from congestive heart failure before they tested right and found thyroid was working against me, then viola, no more dying from that but the cancer was in there already too, I was strong for several months though then the memory went and cancer was fgound) anyway...... If a woman has heart issues, have the thyroid checked, this is such a misdiagnosed area, a thorough natural endocrinologist is all there is. The others are important too as they are balancing my hormones, important for the ER+ PR+.... and others are the most important of all, the laetrile-type B17, the oleander, the red and black raspberry seed powder and Ojibwa tea, I don't take them all at one interval of weeks or months, I change off, but missing doses of any of these would be like me giving cancer cells a field day, that is how important they are for me and how much they have favored my health over the last 1 1/2 years. These are all that give me hope, they are all I can afford or I would do more. I can only hope I have done enough now.
I have an onc appt Monday, a new one who has alternative patients in his care. I am so hapy to have found them. The other kicked me to the curb after tests when I asked for info on the chemos and cryoablation, he basically told me to go to the Natural CCof America or something, he was a lousy person anyway, I have those who told me so after the fact, treated their son, husband etc. and was an ...... so I am glad I was unfaltering in my decision. The first onc told me he could not see me at all, I guess I told the scheduling dept too much because he had them tell me, I had to have the standard of care he offered or nothing, and on and on.
Not that I have not gone without a thorough team to help me through.
But now I have found an oncologist who has people using alternative tx too, and one woman there w bc is only using hormone therapy, no chemo or rads, among the examples the patient navigator told me about yesterday.
Now I need to call and see if he is in our ins network, sure hope so. Tried yesterday but they were experiencing 'difficulties' online and phone?? ugh
Like my Hubby, I want an onc who has my back and respects my hopes and beliefs, will be honest with me on when to go for the big guns, if needed, acknowledge when what I am doing is working, make sure it really is too, for me that is the perfect onc *_*
Fuzzy - I don't hink there is a certain way to spell 'kneeandaratholl' hahaha.
The XX and XY chromosones, that is what also gives me empathy for Hubby and helps me understand him a little more, even if I cannot really get how he thinks, I know he is made differently than I am and he cannot help it. LOL
The other night on a movie, the driver fell asleep at the wheel, he hit the cement wall and the car flipped about three times, hold that thought.....
..........making me think of my daughter rolling in her little Honda last Sept, btw which she also rolled her new Saturn Vue when she was driving 30mph on clear road and hit a 3-inch panel of ice in Dec, btw, only rolled once but much more terrifying she said, and while it rolled over into the snow drift and fence line which stopped it, she thought 'Seriously' ............. will tell more on that later, got to work today......
sooooooo anyway, when the car in movie rolled I jumped up and yelled "Oh no, wow, oh man, hell," then I turned on Hubby and explained, "and THAT is WHY I do NOT want you FALLING ASLEEP at the WHEEL OMG OMG OMG!!!!!"
Do you think Hubby got it ??? seeing a perfect example of how quickly it can happen?
LOVEEssa
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Linda Ranch - yes, all those things, Hubby does too. He opens doors, chivalry is not dead here, carries my bag, holds my hand all the time, never leaves for anything without kissing me goodbye even if it is 4a.m. on way to work. But I don't mind him waking me, he needs that kiss. He tucks me in at night when I need to sleep alone like after surgery or my back is out. If something happened to me, he would fare far worse than I would if something happened to him, I am sad to say. I so wish he read more, I wish I did too. But mostly we read on certain subjects together while at the coffee shop.
I wish a steady love for all. I know we have to go through great changes to get to it sometimes, but I also do belive there are plenty of wonderful women who are very un-froggy-like who have trouble being given the respect and love they deserve for other reasons.
The dog just farted, he never farts, he is going OUT.
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LoveEssa...That was so sweet...this is your home...and mine and everyone here and we all live together in a magical little world I call "reality". LOL But, for it to be a place where you feel safe, that is really special to me. Kneeandrothol!! LOVE IT!! I was just too lazy to even spell check!
I really enjoyed the description of your husband. That's a whole lotta thinking in there....not to mention experience, years, etc. Thank you for sharing that. I wonder...does Sassy really want a looooooong term, final BF? Maybe this is just for fun? I mean, Sassy has her head on straight...BF does not...what a great toy? It doesn't have to be serious, right? Maybe the living arrangement is too much...but OH I WOULD MISS THE DOG!! LOL
That's true.
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Found this when I was looking for info on the French GMO study and mammary tumors in rats.
Jan 31 news
Woman Petitions Victoria's Secret for Survivor Bras
EDITED TO ADD
The gassy dog is on deck staring in door at me. He goes out and eats grass and pukes, he eats poop too, he is a dog through and through, but no puking in here, the slime is enough.
Fuzzy - It is true that some relationships are best left light, some are sturdy. If I were single, I would want a sturdy one though, I just don't play well, I get serious too easily. Women tend to fall for it, in love that is.
Romp Room is a special place. I try not to say too much about my choices but when I mix up my pills and feel like I am in a daze, which is scaring me lately, it is a place I talk about it and it all spills out. Right now we have progressed to color-coded teacups with little signs on them. He acts like I didn't know or was confused but it is not that at all, I know what everything is and does and why and then I go into this place where I do the wrong thing anyway and realize it later sort of, some kind of spacey gap where I could do anything at all and it just happens, no control. Like when i put my hand on the hot stove burner, knowing better, not the same, because I know I am doing it and I know the burner is hot but FORGET it is hot, that is different. And why stupid puts their hand on a burner at all whent hey are cooking anyway? The spacey gap is different, illogical, I am not even there. It is not the same as not being able to remember how to use the DVD player either though I used it the day before. I am there and really trying but I got nothin'. I complain about this spacey gap a lot now it happened again, too much for me bcz was without memory two and three years ago, will talk to onc about it.
The good news is this year I know I can do my business taxes. Four years ago I had sales taxes done in 20 min and taxes in a few hours. Three years ago I could only sit in office and stare at all of it, no clue what to do. Two years ago before cancer was found, no better, and last year after surgery and treating for cancer I was a lot better but needed help, a lot of help. This year, I just know I can, so we are really somewhere.
LOVEEssa, who will probably be offline for a few days. Weekend stuff.
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Essa....understand your thinking. Just wondered if it was all necessary....or all helping.....we need to do what we must to survive, and that is it. I am a huge believer in acupuncture, and Chinese medicine....in my town I have a miracle worker to say the least. This woman has hands of gold. Seen her work her magic with those little needles, and are amazed with the pain relief. I think I have built her business with referrals. Everyone loves her, and also have great results in as little as 1visit. Just wish all insurance covered it. If they don't she even cuts her fee in 1/2. Can't ask for more then that.
You take care of yourself, and find a way to remember your meds. hugs. -
Yeah, Ducky, really, insurance really needs to be more open-minded. I have to pay for the endo's rx's out of pocket, they want me on synthetics, I pay the same though as if I were paying copay on synthetics, that says a lot. The supplements and UVB therapy, I pay out of pocket for all of it.
Acupuncture, love it! We have the real deal in Chesterton area, studied forever overseas. I had definite results on the right breast, there were fibroids and w acupuncture and the Chinese medicine, they disappeared in a few weeks, I was impressed. It is a back up plan for me. Glad you mentioned it.
Noticed dog fussing with his ear, so used the vet's keto stuff then my coloidal silver. Trimmed his ears, he does not appreciate scissors, trimmed his front feet, brushed him and used waterness bath w enzymes on him, all fluffy, ready for town. Hubby home early and we are off.
I'll be watching the thread but probably not post much, as you can see that is not an absolute....
Later
LOVEEssa
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Thank you to those who went and read about my sleep spending.
I figured the sleep shopping out.A news item was on about a local woman who was raped and the police did a drug screen to see if she was drugged and thus didn't remember. It showed that she tested positive for Lorazapam. That is what I had taken 2 mg of late the night before. I felt groggy but didn't consider it might actually make me forget. How weird is that!I still need to go back for the sleep test. I have so many weird sleep problems that I just feel so releived to have figured this one out. -
Ginger....that's pretty scary!!! I think there's a movie coming put called Side Effects....its a horror movie!!! Weird!
Please...be very careful!! Can you take a different Med? -
Did two Pm's to Ginger---typical nurse stuff.
Bless you all for your responses re: DBF---All so much on mark. Except he doesn't drink. But he manipulates. Last weeks (fri) puttting him out. Made up on Sunday. Monday and tuesday superlative. Wednesdsy I called at 3pm and asked what the plan was-----I knew from his tone he wasn't coming home, stayed up alnight worring. 6am, I call he yells,"I had another 1/2 hour to sleep". Hangs ups. Approximately, 2:30 pm a call woke me (Linda sorry if it was you). I call him and he's harsh --said I had a call , but couldn't get to it---was it him---he says sleeping at 2:30---said I was up all night------he knew it was about him. He apologized and said he be home tonight---that was last night. I made no call today-------will make call now just for the fun or irony. it's 10:12------made the call and said the "game you're playing is". Btw the account i set up for him so that he had access to his own funds had to be started with 100$ of my own funds. He has bleed it dry. Tonite and may be tomorrow he can refund it and pay me back. Sounds awful. Sounds awful. Is awful
If I was Taylor Swift, I would write an awful song and make big million.
Stupid DBF---he has had a life that sucked. I come along and help. Straightend out several things allready. So, what would you think in his scenario. Not only does she love me , she can help me......AND has a son that's a lawyer. All of that has worked to his advantage so far, so why screw up now. He doesn't drink or do drugs, denies gambling. But works 7 days a week ---6 days straight job then after hours, and weekends. Retested his cell phone--------nada---went to answering..Lived with him long enough. Afterhours he answered certain calls---his kids that bled him dry of money, Billy a source of income. So, I know he answeres the fucking phone.
Going to close this out in case the mods want to delete my next post--bless you mods. What I'm going to post now is an old pledge song, it was based on a camfire song, can't tell you which one ----sorry. but it has carried many people through thier life. Me many times.
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SHIT DAMN HELL , SON OF A BASTARD BITCH, RAPE SCREW , FUCK YOU. AND YOU CAN GO TO HELL TOO.
Can be done in rounds like row your boat.
Yelled at the top of your voice it, acts like Valium. The longer you yell it the more anger leaves, the calmer you get
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I'm going hiking in the morning. It will be in the 20's. Brrrr. I'll finally be able to use my hiking stick. Yay! I would prefer it to be in the 30's, and my instinct is to cringe from going out in 20 degree weather. However, I'd like to get over that. I'm too young to be that wimpy about a little cold. This is a short hike, only 1.5 miles. There's another one tomorrow that is 7 miles. I think I should make sure I can do 1.5 miles first. Then, if the weather cooperates, I'll do my usual Sunday hike at Loch Raven. That's not really a hike, since it is all on a paved road that is closed to traffic on Sundays from 10 am to dusk. I prefer actual hikes through the woods, or at least I used to prefer that. I guess I'll learn if I still feel that way tomorrow.
I played about 12 games of tennis using the Wii today. I was doing some serious sweating. I am trying to get back in shape.
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Shit Damn Hell etc. In the 70's ---Taught it to another operating room nurse Merideth. Also, Taught it to a post Vietam trauma surgeon who was a pain in the assssssss. Only Meritdith and I could keep this surgeon "under control". One day Meridith and I were assigned to his room. Cake walk, he loved us both. WRONG. He came in as a Bastard. Nada-Nothing was right to suit him-----he was a complete asshole.
Got the case underway, turned to do the paperwork and started humming. Meridith heard me, and started humminng. MY thought "oh fuck". Turned around --Merideth got louder in the humming.
The Doc--put his instruments down and said "Am I being that big of an asshole". Merideth and I looked at each other, than at him, and said in unison "YES". He picked up his instruments, and was a peach for that case and all the rest of the cases that day.
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Okay, must define that we/ I in America have a very defined limited swear word parameter. This has been tracked by a certain person that i have lost track of. He would post on a yearly, basis the best denigrating words and there meanings from around the world. He may still do it. BUT b/c the most descriptive came from our enemy's , it was no longer fun. They were blowing us up.
We have assholle, fuck, shit, damn, ----------let's leave the female stuff out
they haves said: may a thousand bugs infest your armpits
HMMMMMMMM a thousand bugs
So, did thoughs damn terrorists, do a drop of bedbugs?
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sas that reminds me of an old comedy routine - the 7 words you can't say on television - may be done by george carlin but not sure on that...........anyway love love love it
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Rider-------yes the old routine of GEORGE CARLIN------what a Humogouness Guy, Whomever can come up with the You tube thing of his. Ours was not based on his , it was simply a made up pledge song, BUT BUT-----George Carlins------7 things.. We must find it and bring it here.... It was the funnienst----OMG------and oh so true.
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I was a flower child, but never heard george carlins' s seven words that created such controversy. It was one of those ---what planet was i on thingy. Oh coool--ear just popped.--why who knows---duh. better sound. Carlin with the seven words, crashed---the line of American no -no's ------------now eveen many don't cross the line. Why b/c someone said so. Like the FCC... FUck them.
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I will use the word fuck, it can be used in many ways. The problem in a American society is we have few words that describe a really negative thought. I learned this from the person I told you about. Many other culuters have many more descriptive and or derogatives when they want to be nasty in words or jesters to another. We as Americans are really quite limited. Fuck is used in many ways. But is really limited and not quite descriptive. Other languagues explectivices are much more interesting and fun so to speek.
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WOW--just erased a whole lot of metphysical bullshit-----very good thing
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edited for typos and after thoughts
Sassy - when I read your first post, well, I will get back to that. Then your round I read and thought ooooooooooo she's gonna get deleted, but it is all still there. WaaWaahaahaa by the time I was on 5th post I was laughing tears!! I know some are offended, some want to see s*^# and some don't care at all. You might get deleted yet. But I got to read it and a good laugh today I needed.
Reminds me of 4 Wedding and A Funeral, they were always saying 'f*#*adoodledoo and such, it was acceptable. The other night on movie the adults had kids in school repeating 'those wan*#^s' Every culture has acceptable and unacceptable.
The surgeon, like it that he got the round hum. If mods let us, we could do a round or three on here in whatever is our acceptable mod of cursing.
Now the DBF.... ex by now, I presume. If not, he is jumping the hoop backwards to prove himself, I preseume.
D in the BF stands for DRAMA.
With that kind of drama, all the endorphins we get through feel good moments are exploded into cancer cells from the anxiety and anger. Like me w Hubby's driving.
What I know from growing older is just learn to run fast sooner.
And I know no one holds my trust until they have earned it.
And I know that I can get all the drama I need in life in a drama action movie, sans the thriller side I hate, but the movie is over in a few and I can put it on pause or send it back, drama over when I don't like it.
Hugs dear Sassy.
My DD who rolled her car a second time when she hit that 3-inch high hill of ice (insurance taking it to county highway dept) she divorced after 9 years of drama and trying to help her 5 yrs DBF / 4yrs as DH. They were still hanging out and quarreling and helping each other w money, chores, driving, deliveries, really hard on him, he wants her back and it is not going to happen, she wanted friends.... until last week he did something she will not tell me so I won't hate him - but she drove him out into the country in zero F weather in the middle night (she delivers newspapers) and said to him that if he spoke at all in any way that was going to ire her again she was putting him out of the car to walk back. She can too she knows wrestling and kick boxing and stuff from her work in the teenage psyche ward for self protection without harming and he knows it ..... She gave him the talk. Told me she said it was over on her terms, he is to leave her alone hence forth except through parenting. He was silent. I am guessing he was the one coming into her apt and nosing around, she had called police twice on this happening, and I will now bet that she finally set him up and caught him. sigh oh my....
I just want to sit quietly and read and watch the birds.
This afternoon Hubby is going to help me figure out what to focus on so I can earn a literal living (as in money to pay for my stuff to live through cancer, he is earning everything and we can't cover all this, he can barely walk from old injuries and no cartilage in knees and hips, his shoulders are both bad and he is on his feet all day 5 days, steelmill) I must find a way. I was almost there in building my business when the illness took my brain, and now I have a brain again, and I can't seem to get anything to respond in the whole wide world. I am spiritually missing the mark of what I am to do. When it is meant to be, isn't it meant to be easy? No, I don't think everything is easy at all. But people keep telling me that, so I am confused. I put in 6 to 14 hours each day 5 - 6 days a week. Except this week, I became discouraged and feeling lost, so have been on bco a lot and watching Brothers and Sisters again for a few days, then onward on Tuesday (taxes and bills Sat / Sun then onc and NP Monday). So today we will figure it out. What am I to do with the rest of my life to earn money so Hubby can go on his retirement or medical disability retirement. After giving it all up to 42 years at same job, he deserves his retirement to do something else, working is fine, but something not dangerous and painful steelmill.
Again, hugs for you dear Sassy. Call if you want to talk.
LOVEEssa
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I did a real hike this morning. I'll do the walk-hike tomorrow morning.
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Sassy...our Mods get us. I think they understand our little home here. I truly believe they understand that we need this...expressive freedom. We don't attack each other here and that is the big difference. We don't swear "at" each other. Rather, we use it to express what we have to let out. So, here they are just words...harmless to the reader and great therapy for the writer. I could feel your anger with DramaBF (loved that LoveEssa). I have felt that pain. You know he's in there...that good guy. The guy who can make You happy and experience life with you. But he insists on hanging onto his comfort zone. Is he uses you? Yes...for sure. He doesn't value you enough yet not to be. Is he ignoring your calls?? Absolutely...there's no way he wants to face consequence. He's just a boy right now. What do you want dear Sassy? Tell me the answer to that and we'll go from there.
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Dunes...loooove the pic!!!!
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Dunes that looks awesome - went out and stood in the snow at midnight tonight trying to catch snowflakes on my tongue. All sparkly and such......was beautiful...and I keep forgetting to notice.
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- Test
- 322 Walks, Runs and Fundraising Events for Breastcancer.org
- 5.6K Community Connections
- 282 Middle Age 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 53 Australians and New Zealanders Affected by Breast Cancer
- 208 Black Women or Men With Breast Cancer
- 684 Canadians Affected by Breast Cancer
- 1.5K Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
- 455 Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets
- 260 High Risk of Recurrence or Second Breast Cancer
- 22 International, Non-English Speakers With Breast Cancer
- 16 Latinas/Hispanics With Breast Cancer
- 189 LGBTQA+ With Breast Cancer
- 152 May Their Memory Live On
- 85 Member Matchup & Virtual Support Meetups
- 375 Members by Location
- 291 Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 177 Singles With Breast Cancer
- 869 Young With Breast Cancer
- 50.4K Connecting With Others Who Have a Similar Diagnosis
- 204 Breast Cancer with Another Diagnosis or Comorbidity
- 4K DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)
- 79 DCIS plus HER2-positive Microinvasion
- 529 Genetic Testing
- 2.2K HER2+ (Positive) Breast Cancer
- 1.5K IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer)
- 3.4K IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)
- 1.5K ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)
- 999 Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis
- 652 LCIS (Lobular Carcinoma In Situ)
- 193 Less Common Types of Breast Cancer
- 252 Male Breast Cancer
- 86 Mixed Type Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned
- 189 Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care
- 488 Second or Third Breast Cancer
- 1.2K Stage I Breast Cancer
- 313 Stage II Breast Cancer
- 3.8K Stage III Breast Cancer
- 2.5K Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
- 13.1K Day-to-Day Matters
- 132 All things COVID-19 or coronavirus
- 87 BCO Free-Cycle: Give or Trade Items Related to Breast Cancer
- 5.9K Clinical Trials, Research News, Podcasts, and Study Results
- 86 Coping with Holidays, Special Days and Anniversaries
- 828 Employment, Insurance, and Other Financial Issues
- 101 Family and Family Planning Matters
- Family Issues for Those Who Have Breast Cancer
- 26 Furry friends
- 1.8K Humor and Games
- 1.6K Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts
- 706 Recipe Swap for Healthy Living
- 704 Recommend Your Resources
- 171 Sex & Relationship Matters
- 9 The Political Corner
- 874 Working on Your Fitness
- 4.5K Moving On & Finding Inspiration After Breast Cancer
- 394 Bonded by Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Life After Breast Cancer
- 806 Prayers and Spiritual Support
- 285 Who or What Inspires You?
- 28.7K Not Diagnosed But Concerned
- 1K Benign Breast Conditions
- 2.3K High Risk for Breast Cancer
- 18K Not Diagnosed But Worried
- 7.4K Waiting for Test Results
- 603 Site News and Announcements
- 560 Comments, Suggestions, Feature Requests
- 39 Mod Announcements, Breastcancer.org News, Blog Entries, Podcasts
- 4 Survey, Interview and Participant Requests: Need your Help!
- 61.9K Tests, Treatments & Side Effects
- 586 Alternative Medicine
- 255 Bone Health and Bone Loss
- 11.4K Breast Reconstruction
- 7.9K Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 2.7K Complementary and Holistic Medicine and Treatment
- 775 Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results
- 7.8K Hormonal Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 50 Immunotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 7.4K Just Diagnosed
- 1.4K Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy
- 5.2K Lymphedema
- 3.6K Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment
- 591 Pain
- 3.9K Radiation Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 8.4K Surgery - Before, During, and After
- 109 Welcome to Breastcancer.org
- 98 Acknowledging and honoring our Community
- 11 Info & Resources for New Patients & Members From the Team