I say yes, you say no, OR People are Strange

Alpal

No one will have to leave where they are - they'll just be considered Canadians, right?

Esti

Re: Konakat (Elizabeth).

This is my first post, although I have been reading this site for the last few months during treatment. Elizabeth's posts have been a source of humour, insight and inspiration for me. I know that sounds like platitudes, but it's the truth.

I don't know what she could have said to upset a person/people to  the point where they'd move to delete her posts and ultimately have her membership canceled, but she doesn't deserve that type of insult. 

I hope this is cleared up quickly, and her membership is reinstated. And to whomever is taking issue with some of her posts: we're all in this together and it's difficult.  Why not just put her on ignore and let's move on?

And Elizabeth: (((hug))) don't let this ruffle your feathers.

AnneW

For pete's sake. This is just getting waaayyyy out of hand. If y'all know who's doing the deleting, call them out on it so we can gang up on them and show them the way out the door. This is just disgusting. Will the deleters PLEASE go back to their private caves and stay there? They obviously hate it here but just can't quite keep away...

otter

Re-- Annexing certain U.S. states to Canada:  Would the "Will Rogers Phenomenon" apply?

“When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California [during the Dust Bowl/Great Depression], they raised the average intelligence levels in both states.”

(One thing Will Rogers never worried about was political correctness.)

otter

[Edited to add:  There's a distressing amount of bullying on these boards.  Most of it would go undetected to casual readers and would only be recognized by the regulars on that particular thread.  This isn't the only thread where it's happening.  I can think of other names for the perps, but I can't post them here.]

crazy4carrots

Otter, are you under the (mistaken) impression that all Canadians are bilingual?  Oh, if it were only so!  Funny story:

My sister, her American DH and family were travelling by car to the east coast (Maritimes to us).  As they drove on a major highway through the province of Quebec, my BIL finally asked my sister, in obvious frustration "Where the heck is this place called Sortie?"

When she stopped laughing, she told him that Sortie is the French word for Exit.

jenn3

I just jumped in to this thread, have been posting on BCO for a while and am in complete shock that someone or groups of women would start deleting posts, knowing that is would cause a ban or post limits if they rejoin BCO.  I am more upset that the moderators allow this to happen, rules are rules, but they are not meant to abused by bullies.  How can you have a place for women to talk if you allow them to be banned for life because some "school yard bullies" decide to hide behind the scenes and cause a storm when they don't get their way?  How can you do this to KK knowing what she is facing???? If you don't like how a conversation is going, leave........walk away...........or continue to defend if you think you're right but to resort to deleting as if you're on a playground is just plain selfish and childish.

Yes, we vary from stage to stage, we all have different beliefs, we look different, our financial status is different, our education and ages run the gambit and for the god's sake, we all have good and bad days...........aren't we here to help each other, show compassion, have arguments, then kiss, makeup and have a group hug?

otter

Yeah, I know Canadians aren't (all) bilingual.  I actually have 2nd-degree relatives who are from Canada or still live in Canada.  That is a funny story about the road signs, though.  And then there's that whole metric thing the people here in the U.S. decided was too difficult to figure out.  They'd rather continue trying to convert teaspoons to gallons, than milliliters to liters.  Go figure.

But, it is true, isn't it, that official governmental documents have to be printed in both languages?  I know the publication policy for some of the scientific journals printed in Canada required that the article abstracts had to be written in English and in French.  OTOH, some scientific journals now require abstracts to be in 3 languages:  English, French, and Spanish.  Small world, eh?

otter

Alpal

Otter, it isn't my fault that I didn't know what a liter was until Coke came out with 2 liter bottles. Remember when they jumped the gun and changed the highway signs? WE WON!!

Esti

We could settle all of this US/Canada talk with a simple hockey game.

crazy4carrots

"Teaspoons to gallons" bwahahahahaha!

Yes, all official government documents, as well as public signs, airplane announcements, commercial products and I can't remember what else are in both official languages.  Another (kind of) funny story:

So accustomed was I to reading the names of grocery store products in both English and French that, when we moved to England and I did my first grocery shopping, I was amazed to see a huge display of boxes, all labelled "Persil". I thought to myself, gee the Brits sure do like parsley, they sell giant boxes of parsley seed in grocery stores!

Then I discovered that Persil is actually the name of a laundry detergent.  Duh!!!!!

3monstmama

I came to this website/board when I was in a very very hard place in my life.  I have stayed beyond my treatment to try to pay forward the support I received.  It boggles my mind to find that a place that is supposed to be a refuge for women with breast cancer is turning to a place where people would delete someone they disagree with, delete them so many times that they are banned from the board at the time that they need our support the most of all.

Are we not grown-ups?  Did we not pay attention in kindergarten?  Don't like what someone says, move along.  There are plenty of people who have ticked me off on this board --or with whom I strongly disagree---and I have yet to delete any of them.  I don't read them, I ignore them as individuals and I don't read the threads where I know my beliefs don't mesh with the core of the thread.

I thought we in the USA believed in freedom of speech---I don't remember the part of the Constitution that says that freedom of speech means "freedom to speak as long as I agree with what you say?"  What exactly is the difference between the mullahs who issued fatwahs to silence Salman Rushdie because they disagreed with his speech and the people who choose to delete konakat and eff because they don't agree with what they have said?  I can't say I see the difference. 

Konakat and Eff, the majority are here with you both and wishing you well.  

Anonymous

4 hours ago Alpal wrote:

How nice that they don't even have to send pmails anymore to plan their attacks! That's convenient, isn't it?

  rosemary-b wrote:

.Laura, Erca, Shirley, where are you? Where is your outrage?

What the heck are you ladies implying?  I just got through many pages because I had been off the computer.  Are you implying that one of us who posts on this thread are deleting posts?  You are wrong.

I have always like Elizabeth and she knows it.  I know she's going through a terrible time.  I do not like that she may be banned. But I'm sure the mods will allow her back.  At least I hope.

rosemary, what "outrage" are you speaking of?  Outrageous comments?  AGAIN, Eff asked us about Muslim extremist vs. moderate Muslims.

And, Medigal, where did you get the idea that anyone was blaming all Muslims of being extremists?  Geez!

AnnNYC

Shirley, I know you and Erica/Daisy are fond of Elizabeth, and I really can't imagine either of you would have deleted her posts.  But I have to say, it's been a long time (2 years, I think) since any posts of Republicans/conservatives have been deleted on BCO -- while the posts of liberals continue to be deleted frequently.  And the response of many conservatives is usually silence, or defensiveness ("I didn't do it!") or something like, "Well, the deleted comment may have offended some people for x, y and z reason."

(I said "many" because some people who aren't "liberal" do express anger at these deletions, seeing them as bullying -- like BarbaraA, a conservative, and Otter, an uncategorizable free thinker -- both all-around great people!  The absence of anger about the deletions from other vigorous conservative voices here is what is suspicious, if not for being a deleter, at least for being an ally of deleters.)

pickle

Ok...I read lots of threads here and don't respond much because I am a bit shy and don't like to intrude on threads that seem to have a good bond, good group of women having lively discussions that are not all about BC.

But I feel the need to speak out and say that I am truly disgusted with the deletions and treatment of some of the women here. I am especially disgusted with the awful treatment and disrespect shown to Elizabeth. I have seen many of her posts and she contributes a lot of worthy information here as well as amazing support and an increduble sense of humour.

I don't know the history of the bad blood here amongst a group of women but for Fu@$ sake, have some goddamn decency.....a line has been crossed here and I think it is absolutely despicable.

Moderators, I don't know what the answer is but I sure hope you find it. You may have people
leaving this site forever and I know that would be a terrible disservice to so many women that need this site as an information tool and friendship.

I highly doubt that this was what Dr. Weiss had in mind when she launched BC.ORG as a place for women to come for credible information and support.

I hope that everyone takes a deep breath and starts tomorrow with a more respectable,
appreciative attitude. We are all in this f@@& Breast cancer journey together, unfortunately some are in deeper than others! Support them!



Beth

Edited to add: I have read through a lot of the previous posts and I think I am starting to get what everyone is talking about with another website that some people frequent. All I can say is that Laura, SherryG. Daisy and a few others should be ashamed of themselves for the childish games and awful comments they make. BTW SherryG...I am neither a sockpuppet nor a troll! I don't care if I get banned for calling you out...it boggles my mind that women that share a common bond with BC can be so mean to others....have you not learned anything from this journey?

molly52

molly52

*

Anonymous

Wow, just Wow!

Pickle.....you rock!!!!!

Bring back KK!!!

Sad to see some things never change! Perhaps the delete button feature needs to be taken out altogether. Posts should only be able to be removed by the mods only after they have reviewed them and not before. Seems to me some people do not know the meaning of democracy or freedom of speech.

If you can't play nice then get out of the sandbox!

BarbaraA

What crazydaisy said. Sheesh. I really hate seeing liberals get their posts deleted. I think disagreements could be handled better by PM so that folks don't get their backs up. You know what your mother always said about trying to discuss poitics and religion....I'm just sayin'.

I don't agree with all who post here and I will respectfully disagree. That is the key to any good discussion and friendship. Respect.

Melissa, I truly hope we can get to the bottom of the delete attacks and that you will reinstate Enjoyful and our beloved Konakat. And also, please, take a look at what Eff had deleted. It was not mean nor did it break any BCO rules. Thanks very much.

annettek

Why is eff being being singled out for her opinions on Israelis?? It would seem that if you ask that sort of very specific question you have an opinion on that very subject and expect the other's reply to motivate an answer from you. It would make more sense if you are seeking a discussion or a chance to discuss what appears to be your views on Israel and Israelis (or Ireland and the Irish, Russia and Russians, etc) to simply state your own opinions Laura, then perhaps others would reply.

just sayin....

annettek

oh geez, I posted before reading the last three pages...but I won't edit it, as it still remains my thoughts. And while it is absolutely insane the KonKat or Enjoyful were banned, they both ahve faced much tougher sh*t than some who may delight in playing their own version of god with a delete button.

1Athena1

Shirley, I personally do not think you deleted the posts. You have guts, for one. But someone did.

LauraGTO, Tupelo, Patmom, 2ztus did any of you delete any of the posts by any of: KK, Enjoyful, Efflorescing or Lewing, and, if so, why?

In fact, let's be fair here. The moderation of this place is non-existent for the most part, so let's try the honor system. If anyone is willing to, would you care to come forward and declare whether or not you deleted the posts of:

Enjoyful

Konakat

Lewing

Efflorescing

in the last 24 hours? 

I will ask myself:

"Athena" did you, under this name or any other account, press the report button on any of those posts?

No, I did not.

Full disclosure: I actually only reported one post -one which told Lewing to mind her own business. I thought it got personal and rude and went too far. Edited to add: I was especially sensitive to the fact that Lewing gets particularly harsh treatment from some here for no reason that I can justify in my own mind. That post was not deleted, though.

Anyone else care to join in this exercise? You don't have to; non participation is not an automatic sign of guilt by any means, but in the absence of fair rules on BCO, maybe we have to start our own honor system/neighborhood watch group, given the high cyberterrorism rate here.

Anyone else care to join in and declare whether  they did or did not delete any of the above posts. If you did, do you care to explain why?

Again, the question is:

(Your screen name) did you, under this name or any other account, press the report button on any of those posts?

Edited for fonting too.

rosemary-b

Shirley

Where is the outrage at konakat and eff, and several others especially konaka, being deleted. Lots of people have expressed their outrage, you three had not. I'm so glad you think Melissa will take care of konakat but as members of a support board isn't that our job?

Athena

I have never at any time used the report this post button for any reason and I have always just had this one same account.

Rosemary

Bren-2007

I hope Melissa is getting this mess straightened out this a.m.

Athena .. I used the report this post key once a couple of weeks ago on a different thread.  I posted to the gal whose post I reported and stated why.  I also posted that in hindsight I wish I hadn't done it, but rather PM'ed the gal instead asking her to remove the post.  She's a great gal, had a bad moment, and I didn't want her on restrictive posting. 

I haven't reported any posts on this thread.  That's the only rule we have here, no deleting, and I respect that rule for this thread. 

Oh, I take that back ... I did report one months ago on the old healthcare thread, but I told the poster first and gave her a chance to change her post.  She didn't and the post was deleted. 

Bren

Kindergarten

Oh, boy, here I am lurking again on this thread, but I just saw that KK might be banned. Oh, my gosh she is such a breast cancer warrior, what would the Stage 4 ladies do without her??? Prayers are coming her way!!!!!!! I hope things can be reconciled. Hey, and I also want to stick up for Laura and Sherry G, they are also remarkable women who are so needed on BCO. They are both very supportive and Kind. Well enough, stress for me today. God bless you all, Kathy

kadeeb

Pickle, Athena, Thank you for asking what so many were thinking. I am very slow to point a finger, I still feel like the new kid on the block many times.

I never have and never will delete someone elses post. It's that freedom of speech thing I grew up with. I do not have anyone on ignore (not to say it isn't a good idea). I have no problem with a PM but the only times I have used that is for a discussion with someone that I didn't think others would have much interest in (weather and the like). No one has ever sent me a nasty PM but I wouldn't have any problem copying and posting it on our thread for all to see (bco rules or not).

I respect other's views, whether or not I agree. I'm not always the smartest knife in the drawer and I have learned a lot on this thread. Most of the time when I'm not posting, it's because I don't think I have anything to add (or I'm at work). Some of you are so good at expressing things so much better than I can. I don't like to see this thread put in jeopardy. Off to work now and here's hoping you guys are here when I return. Love to all and maybe the others will be back this afternoon.

leggo

Great idea Athena. I have reported one post in 6 years and that was because the "woman" called me a b*tch on the Stage IV forum. She ended up stalking every post I made, and somehow got my email address. I had to get the mods involved, have all my personal information erased as well as any posts I made up until that point and start over with a new identity, with their permission. I personally think it's the same person that's deleting the posts here, but I won't get into that. I have also deleted a few of my own posts, particularly the one started on Canadian Health Care. It got too out of hand and I learned my lesson not to get involved in controversial subjects. What happened to me makes me think it's not particularly motivated by politics;  just someone wanting someone else off the boards.

Alpal

Athena - thanks for asking. I've never reported any posts except for spam posts. And, I try to remember when reporting those to state that I did so. I was the recipient of a pmail regarding the discussion in question. The pmail did not break any rules, but was IMO very condescending and it offended me. You know the type - poor dumb little you, you just haven't known any bad Muslims. Since the pmail did not break any BCO rules, I just let it go. If it had violated rules I would have had no problem whatsoever in posting it for everyone to see.

I don't think this problem will stop until there is a mechanism for revealing the names of those who push the report button. Melissa told us that should be in place by the first of March. Hopefully, this will happen soon.

River_Rat

I, "River Rat" have never deleted or reported a post here or anywhere else.

Here's what I posted on the other thread this morning:

Melissa,

It might be useful for you to know that I lurked for the better part of a year before registering and posting.  The reason I held off so long was because I saw the censoring that was going on here.  When posts that don't break the rules are deleted and not reinstated that says as much about the site as it does about those doing the deleting.

I respectfully request that the posts are reinstated, the deleted posters are given full rights and not restricted and that those doing the deleting have their user IDs revealed and have to answer to the community.

Thank you. 

 

Edited to add "reported." 

AnneW

I reported a post a month or so ago on another thread. And I posted for everyone to see that I was reporting, and how that post broke the rules of BCO.

If I ever report a post, I promise, you all will know that I did. I'll own it.

Is it too much to ask for everyone else to have a little integrity when they report a post??

leggo

...and here'e the thing. When you think someone's got an axe to grind, it's quite easy to figure out who it is. When they're not logging in to contribute, just to delete and pm, it kind of all adds up.