"Fortunately, Unfortunately"

pickle

Unfortunately my locks scattered with it....(must be a wig...lol)

barbe1958

Fortunately that scared them away, they had thought I lost my head!

pickle

Unfortuanetly they realized that it was not real hair so they used the scent from the wig to get the tracking dogs to hunt me down

hbcheryl

Fortunately I have watched The Dog Whisperer for many years so I was able to turn the pack around and I became the pack leader and I lured them down the garden path away from the house

ruthbru

Unfortunately we  wandered into a patch on poison ivy.

barbe1958

Fortunately it was winter and the patch was not active.

Scooter-12

Fortunately, I was on steroids so it didn't itch,

AnneW

Unfortunately, the steroids caused bloating and acne.

pj12

Fortunately, that made me less attractive to her husband who lost interest (typical man).

barbe1958

Unfortunately, that made me more attractive to HER!! Now that I wasn't competition.....

SunnyCoconut

Fortunately, they sold their house, moved away, and I will get new neighbors today.

ruthbru

Unfortunately, the new family had 10 bratty little children.

lvtwoqlt

Fortunately, I just made a big batch of peanut-butter cookies to bribe the children with.

SunnyCoconut

Unfortunately, they now have a sugar high and are terrorizing the neighborhood

suzwes

Fortunately they're terrorizing the sheriff's house and he's home.

pickle

Unfortuanetly the sherrif has little patience for a pack of michevious kids and he called for backup

ruthbru

Unfortunately, he was taking a nap and is very grumpy when woken up mid-snooze.

pj12

Fortunately, the sheriff likes peanut butter cookies too.

Leah_S

Unfortunately he is allergic to peanuts and is threatening to arrest me for attempted murder!

ruthbru

Fortunately, my husband is a crooked lawyer.

pickle

Unfortuantely the judge and jury found me guilty

pj12

Fortunately, the prison I will go to is close to home.

ruthbru

Unfortunately, I look horrible in black and white horizontal stripes!

Dilly

Fortunately, Martha Stewart was in the same prison.

Scooter-12

Unfortunately, she didn't have time to give me any decorating tips.

Dilly

Fortunately, she left some materials and several of her books in her cell and I am now baking cakes for the prison in a new jumpsuit made of recycled blue tarps.

pickle

Unfortunately the cakes won't rise and the warden is warching my every move

Leah_S

Fortunately I will rise to the occasion and hide stuff from the warden.

pickle

Unfortunately he found my file hidden in my double fudge devil's food cake

SunnyCoconut

Forturnately, he slipped into a diabetic coma after eating the double fudge devil's food cake and wasn't able to report the found file.