please help

1Cathi

Just stopping by quickly, this has been a most stressful week,  so many up & downs so much red tape,  I am so hoping / praying this CPS worker is truly on our side and means her words,  unfortunately THE LAW states she can not remove a child without a court order from a judge unless they are in imminent danger,  thus they were called to a violent domestic dispute etc.  So we are getting all our ducks in a row with her to present to a judge I HOPE THIS WEEK,  Our insides are outside of our bodies. Thank goodness we have had common sense enough to copy FB and other things and check this out this is my son-in-law actively on this web-site as of today - note he is single w/no children (don't even ask how we found this)  http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=28388084

Learned from a mutual friend Amanda has not deleted from FB (like I and her sister) a few new things Amanda called Kristie this AM PLEASE CAN YOU COME OVER NOW, she did, Amanda was crying like a fool, she called Bill at work and the chic he left for last weekend answered his phone, Bill was changing her brakes he couldn't come to the phone, Amanda also told her that Monday night when Bill returned how the girl showed up at the apartment and Amanda called the cops to have her removed -  now we have a phys co girlfriend in the mix -

Des just to briefly answer,  I know of my granddaughter (Abygael) in NY, visted her several times before she turned the age of 2,  then something happened- BILL,  and before I knew it Abygael was living with her dad ,  I was told  by Amanda that it was better cause Amanda was between jobs, NO MONEY and her dad (Jason) could do better by her and he has,  Amanda was having her for visits as I got to speak to her a few times-  then that all ended (now I know why)  Amanda used to tell me Jason was being an ass, and was keeping Abygael from her,  I used to ask her for his tele #,  she would either not have it didn't remember it,  and etc etc,  anyway thats the short version, I have talked to Jason several times this past week, and he has soooooo enlightened me,  he has just been protecting Abygael from Amanda coming in and out of her life, he is VERY WILLING to assist us with reports (which he has sent) and is also willing to talk to CPS, anyway -

KEEP THE PRAYERS COMING-  FOR THE ULTIMATE IN DIS FUNCTIONAL FAMILY EVER - Ed and I are Ill with worry

chrissyb

Cathi, I don't post often but I do follow.  ((((HUGS))))) and prayers that everything comes together to really protect those beautiful children and give you the peace you deserve.

Love n hugs.  Chrissy

lesliet

Check out Dr. Sullivan at St Charles Surgical Hospital before you have your Mx and the nola web link i wish i had gone there for my mx

desdemona222b

Hang in there, Cath.  Was beginning you had actually murdered this guy or something - lol.

lvtwoqlt

Quick pop in, Cathi, still praying for help for the children.

Sheila 

dink

Cathi, you are very much in my prayers as well as your family and those dear sweet children.  I am sorry y ou are going throught this but I am so happy the children have you and Ed.  Have you talked with his family about any of this?  Are they willing to help in any way?

If there was something I could do, I would certainly do it.  Maybe when it comes to the actual court date or committal date we could all show up in court to show our support for you and Ed and our cyberspace Grandchildren.  I'm glad you spoke with Jason and have a better understanding of what happened in the past and maybe that information can be of help to you, Ed, and the children.

Love you dearly and pray things come to an end soon so the children can get on with their little lives without concerns or hatred involved.

1Cathi

Thamks Leeza,  Bills bio family is all in NY, his mom per him & Amanda and her FB page is a drunk/crack/Xanax abuser - his dad who is remarried is an alcholoc/abuser, he has a very elderly G/ma where they moved from in NY. Bill grew up in the system,  as a foster child, he actually located his foster parents who live down here about an hour away,  they went to see them once or twice,  but no longer do,  VERY NICE people, I have talked to his foster mom several times , she still calls him Billy,  but he won't return her messages, he knows what she will say about his behavior. He was VERY badly abused as a child by his dad,  but he's an adult now,  while I feel sorry for his childhood,  for the life of me I can't understand why he would not want to do better by his children.  A vicious cycle, 

1Cathi

Ladies, please send your prayers. Poo is hitting the fan again between them has been since lats night - poor Landen 7 Ella we have had to throw to the wolfs it seems in order to get an Immidiete result. Barbe doing the intervention thing with Amanda. My nerves are gone, a freakin mess.

karen333

Dear Cathi, sending prayers for the children and you and Bill.  Hold on, an intervention is a very difficult thing to do.  Karen

1Cathi

My daughter grew up in an abusive home, she and SIL are having marital issues, children without beds is apparently not that big of an issue -  mothers & fathers who come and go at will,  and lets not forget being homeless by Monday is not that big of an issue to CPS-  no reason to remove them no reason to file for a judge.  Ed and I need to just love our grandchildren when we have them, be supportive,  oh and yes the final words "OH YOUR WILLING TO TAKE IN YOUR GRANDCHILDREN BUT NOT YOUR DAUGHTER?" 

So thats it in a nut shell - Landen 7 Ella are spending the night,  because Bill & Amanda are FIGHTING and isn't that wonderful they signed a SAFTEY PLAN last week  ,  thats part of the safety plan to send the kids packing so they can fight.  I have received e-mails and phone calls all day from Amanda hysterical begging me to let her come here -  I keep saying NO  WE CAN NOT - But apparently according to her and everyone else we are turning our backs  - I offered to take her to a hospital to a shelter "SHE CAN'T DO THAT"

We are lost tonight.  So I guess as I said to CPS today Tuesday I sennd the children back home and YOU AND I WILL BOTH PRAY THEY AREN'T KILLED.

THIS IS F-IN BS -  These people are supposed to protect children.  I swear I just want to kidnap them,  I am so mad and so sad.

barbe1958

I'm here Cathi, just waiting until you get Amanda committed.....

1Cathi

Well Barbe, I don't know how or whats going to happen, but as always we are in the midst of more chaos and crisis at the hands of Amanda & Bill,  and with little to NO support from CPS - as they won't go before a judge at this point,  how stupid of me to think they would protect children before they had BRUISES  or before they were homeless. 

If you all have seen the FB pages (I can't see Amanda's but have been informed) I see Bills, they are in the midst of break-up again,  she is DONE WITH HIM (Again) sisne Monday AM has called my phone endlessly begging to come here and live with the children, I have stood firm and said NO,  offered to drive her to a shelter or the hospital - of coarse excuse after excuse,  why she can't fo that,  blah-blah blah blah blah,  inside my heart is breaking.

A bit ago she shows up on our door step,  same song,  she is going to be homeless  -please let me move in, PLEASE I PROMISE Bill is getting his own place next week,  the kids and I are going to be homeless,  I promise it's diffrent this time- on and on and on.  I am not saying a word, Ed just said Amanda go and get the help you need  - we are DONE!  Everything is out of our hands now - YOU HAVE SEEN TO THAT, today you hate Bill tomorrow you love the man who hits you, calls you horrible names, and lets not forget the countless woman he sleeps with (my husband is yelling- he NEVER YELLS)  WE ARD DONE AMANDA,  She starts crying more, I can't go to a shelter, Bill said he won't let the kids go to a shelter he'll just take them with him -  ED- GREAT!!!!!!!!!!  Then let Bill take them (we all know he doesn't want them) WE ARE DONE, then the BIG EXPLOSION, she really turns on the tears (I don't cry but heart breaking) you guys never cared about me, your just throwing me away like everyone else- etc etc.  Ed stood up, got right in her face (OMG never saw him like that) YOU KNOW WHAT AMANDA WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU WE DON'T CARE ABOUT LANDEN  ELLA,  GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!  He did not touch her , but just kept saying GET OUT, when you GET the help you need,  come back.  It sounds so horrible, but theres nothing else left to do - but let her hit rock bottom and hopefully something will happen, he even asked they sign custody over for now, right now it's NO- another sleepless night. Ed is a shaking mess, he never looses control, he keeps saying I HOPE I DID THE RIGHT THING.  He did I know he did, Its just so VERY HARD

chrissyb

Awe Cathi   ((((((hugs)))))).   Yes you did the right thing....she does need to get help and that is only going to happen when there is no one holding her up.

Peace and strength to you both.

Chrissy

dink

Cathi, I am so sorry for you and your family.  You are really going through hard times and yes you can't change anything until Amanda hits the bottom.  Just be there when she starts to come back up.  How is Jacqualine handling all of this.  I know she is a very loving mother and to see you and her sister going through all of this must be hard on her?  She and her children are in my prayers also.  Is Alexis and your grandson, sorry I don't remember his name at this moment, doing ok?  How is your health doing?  Please do not forget to take care of you.  I know it's hard during all of this but I'm really worried about  you.

Love ya,

Dink

barbe1958

Cathi, you are doing the right thing!!! It's tough love! Poor Ed and poor you. My DH NEVER raises his voice either, until he is pushed OVER the edge. It scares me when he does....

How is today, my friend?

1Cathi

Leeza, Jaclyn is a tuff cookie, but she finds it very hard to  say NO to Amanda face to face and watch her cry,  Amanda has been begging her to MOVE in as well,  Jaclyn replies VIA text,  she is very upset with her sister but still loves her very much.  Alexcis & Brandt, are good, Brandt will be 3 tomorrow- he's a little bugger -  he wants a big boy bike - so thats what he will be getting. Health wise, to much on my mind to even think of that, have missed several DR appointments,  but I guess God's keeping me safe enough.

Barbe Ed was so upset/shaken after that,  it's just not his personality.  Today is just like any other day full of worry/concern,  trying to FUNCTION in normal stuff, but it makes everything hard,  Barbe we have done what you suggested and a support group as well,  taken the children out of the equation,  they are are soft spot, but right now - we hae to say NO-NO-NO,  SIL as the story goes is moving into his own place Monday, Amanda has shelter options with the assistance of DCF,  SIL says he won't let kids go to a shelter,  he will keep them - so a week ago we would have said NO WAY (thats what they want) we simply said OK,  of coarse we do not want the children with either of them at this point, but as our hands are tied legally right now ,  we just have to let all this play out- UGH

barbe1958

Yep, you see!!! He is trying to use the kids as a bargaining tool!!!! He must have been really surprised when you said okay!!! ehehhehehehehehehehee   That is the first funny thing I can see in all this is if you guys call his bluff. He'll make a big scene and say the kids are better with their mother or something. I'm sure his new 'fuckling' won't want the kids....sorry to be so blunt, but that's the truth!

1Cathi

It's ok Barbe, I can take the BLUNT, and as far as a barganing tool,  they both are trying that, well they both always have. Kinda funny CPS did call me yesturday and asked if we would be will to ASSIST with the children , of coarse said yes,  but made it perfectly clear WE AREN'T BABYSITTERS ,  we are grandpaprents, apparently both DD & SIL are under the impression that when they get their new places we will do daycaare transport,  over night babysitting etc,  we told her in the event of an EMERGENY we will assist,  but as we have NO LEGAL rights at this time, we are not here just to relieve them of their responsibilities, Amanda  is now on that same stupid on line dating sight as he is -  thats where their priority lies - DATING/SEX, so in NO WAY will be provide them an outlet to do so.  Explained to her that if/when the children are returned to our care -  it will not be like last time, we will persue court ordered support, etc, etc. I am pretty sure they are both thinking we are just gonna rush in and save the day because we love Landen & Ella so much, we do of coarse and the thought of those babies with either of them kills us, but we honestly believe it's just a SHORT matter of time at this point.

bedo

Dear Sueps,

I didn't get out of bed much for the first 2 weeks.

My clinic was closed due to funding and when I tried to get things in order I found out about this

To be honest.  I lost it.

I had been through 2 different types of chemo 10 and 5 years ago for something else which is not resolved, but at this time not life threatening.

I have been laid off 3 times in 5 years due to my job being eliminated. ( not just me) with good recommendations.

I couldn't cope this time I just couldn't "get it together" again, which is unlike me

I am single

I have a daughter

I didn't eat or leave the house for 2 weeks.

Every day when I woke up I did not want to go another day

Today I went to my community organic garden

I finally left the house.

My sugar snap peas were so good I ate them off the vine.

I laughed with strangers

It made a world of difference to go out

I turned off my phone 2 weeks ago when I found out.  I am one of those who copes best alone.

I finally talked to a friend today, she caught me off, guard on my cell, I was driving so I answered the phone

She will drive me to surgery and wait and then back ( I planned on driving myself there and talking them into letting me take a cab)

I felt a little love today. It's been hard to feel or accept anything

Today was the turning point.

I have no idea why I feel better.

My Dad died of thyroid cancer and Mi when I was 5

My Mom of uterine cancer when I was 25 I was the one put in charge of her living will, power of attorney and executor.

They were both only children. Except my dad who has a brother I never met I know it is not the same, but things are really different now.

One day soon you will have a turning point, I promise.

Today I took my cat to the vet because he was biting everyone who came near me and peeing, he'll be on Prozac!

I took a shower and tried to look good for the vet So do it! NOW  And clean one room in yer house!!! lol!

He was upset too

It helps to look your best.

And to get outside.  I promise.

I hope this helped. I still burst into tears at random times but no longer have nightmares and can sleep.

Just me

Errrrr, sorry for the depressing parts, but I wanted you to know that I have been there and then it left and it will for you too

xoxoxo

PS, try to think of the one thing that will make you feel better the most and do it.  For me it was having the carpet professionally cleaned to get rid of the cat smell. It may be a hair coloring, eating your favorite food, signing up for Netflicks, IDK, but do it. K?

geebung

Cathi, you and Ed are doing brilliantly. It must be so, so hard on you both. I wonder how I would cope in a similar situation - would I be half as strong as you? You are showing incredible restraint, patience and most of all, tough love. I just hope and pray that things come to a head soon so that the children can have some stability, Amanda can get her life in order and that you and Ed can have have a bit of peace. I find it hard to imagine that your SIL will see the light. It's sad that he's had a bad life but surely, at some stage a person has to grow up and take some responsibility?

Love to you and prayers for your whole family. oxoxo

1Cathi

Thanks Jane, but I am not so sure we are strong at all,  my heart is breaking inside for Amanda, I find it hard to function daily wondering and worrying about her,  I know I can't FIX her and that sucks,  but I don't NOT LOVE HER. And tough love is tough on everyone,  constant second guessing,  I just have to keep saying this is the final chance I have if there is any hope of her turning her life around.  I am not so sure she is even going to accomplish that. SAD

barbe1958

Cathi, you may love her but you don't LIKE her and that's okay!! You don't like how she is arranging her life. I had a HORRID childhood, beaten by my father and mother, the only one of four they did that to as I was the runt. I could be a terrible parent and human with a huge chip on my shoulder, but I'm not. I grew bigger than the abuse. Does it hurt? Almost every day, but I learn to live and let go bit by tiny bit, by tiny bit. It helped when they died, as then I knew they couldn't hurt me anymore....

So SIL can just grow up or die!

Anonymous

Cathi, Barb is right, we all know that you love Amanda, this situation wouldn't hurt nearly as much if you didn't.  You don't like who she is, how she is acting and the choices she is making right now.  That doesn't take away one iota of the love you feel for her.

You are not only being a good mother to Amanda even though it is difficult, you are being the best grandmother for Landen and Ella because by standing firm now, you give them the best chance at having a happy future with their mother.  (((((hugs)))))

1Cathi

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOX YOU GALS ALWAYS SAY THE RIGHT THING AT JUST THE RIGHT TIME.

Barbe Nettie, feel free to comment on SIL FB Bachelor pad statement -  I guess he has already forgotten his children will be living with him and their mother is homeless

geebung

Cathi of course you love Amanda and that's why this is so painful for you. If you took love out of the equation, you could do this like a robot and not feel the hurt. True strength is when it feels so hard and painful but you keep going because you know that it's best for those you love. I can only imagine how much this is ripping your heart to bits. oxox

1Cathi

Thanks Jane -  It sure does hurt,  XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO 

We just had Birthday Pizza with Brandt, today is his actual 3rd B'day he had a big party last Saturday, but he wanted PIZZA & WATERMELON for his REAL B'day dinner, so thats what we did. Oh my gosh he is a little pistol he is so into being a policeman right now, he got a fake set of handcuffs  for a present last week,  walks around saying GET ON THE GROUND,  Jaclyn has the cuteist video of him arresting Alexcis. Too funny.

Going to try and have a relaxed 4th,  always big fireworks on the beach, we missed last year as we got Landen & Ella on 6/29 and she was far to tiny to take over ,  it's up and down the entire beach,  you are in the middle of all kinds of fire works - hard to explain- but it is wonderful to watch. Usually have a big B'bq beforehand, but keeping it very limited this year, just a couple close friends who  know all the ins & outs of our sisituation.

Anyway hope you all have a wonderful holiday. Those who have a 4TH OF JULY, for those that don't HAPPY WEEKEND ANYWAY  XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

cloudhowe

Hello everyone, been MIA for a for a few days. Kind of mxed news from here!

Cathi - you are doing wonderfully!!! I totally echo all of the comments from our wee sisterhood, and I know how difficult it is for you not to cave in to Amanda' "poor me" routine. I am so proud of you for having the balls to see the situation in the round and not giving in to their manipulating torture. When this reach a crisis point, then the authorities will HAVE to act. I would, in your position, contact you local political representative to let him know of the brick walls you are faced with. It is NOT your responsibiliy to bail out your useless daughter and the creep (oh yes, I did have a brief look at his online actrivity (status "divorced" or "single", no children - then he refers to them in his posts - IDIOT!!!, ) AManda was the usually gushy "I luv u soooooooo much etc. Pass the sickbag. i could help it Cathi - I posted "why do you communicate in this chilish way?????"  My 13 year old niece posts like this ........ So what if they are going to be homeless. They are both adults, in employment and useless at finances, parenting and life. But no one owes them any favours Cathi.What they have put you, their kids and darling Ed through is unforgivable. I will do my best to let all of his 'friends' know what a worthless piece of crap he is. Amanda needs a good beating too. She might conme to her senses in a shelter, might get some support from other women why didn't have such a loving family to misuse. Thinking of you always and praying for an end to your troubles. xxxxxxxx

Well, hospital next week, so a bit nervous. I get 6 monthly checkups because my cancer was so aggresive. I am on new ashma meds too as I have ha a couple of scary episodes lately. Seem to be helping though. Also the diverticular prob is quite troublesome at the moment.

Kerry and Lillly Rose are coming up for a fortnight in a couple of weeks (cannie wait!) Lilly is thriving like a wee sprout and "talks" on the phone!!!! Amy crawled for the first time today!!!! marie (her mum) is in tears. Because of her health problems,her progress is slower than normal (and Lilly is quite advanced for her age, so stark contrast) But she is so adored and contented and funny. ANd another bit of good news - Marie is nearly 4 months pregnant - and everything is going wonderfully! She had 8 miscrriages before Amy, but she had a blood disorder that is correctable by daily injections. So Amy will have a wee playmate in December. Got  bunch of new pics that I will post.

Now girls for th bad news. I need, need, need your prayers and positive vibes.

My wee brother was told today that he has a tumour in the bladder. He went in for a regular physical and mentioned faint traes of blood in his urine (no pain or discomfort and very slight) We don't know yet if it malignant or thetreatment plan so it's the limbo stage. I am ging to England tomorrow, but have to be back for my meeting with my onc. He is a young, heaalthy fitness freak (he has to be -he has custody of his 2 daughters, one of whom is severely autistic) so out of the 4 sibling, 3 of us have been affected by cancer. My older brother died of it. My poor sister is inconsolable. We don't know why this horrible dsease has blighted our family. We have done nothing to deserve it!!!

Sorry, feeling very weepy. My brother and i are EXTREMELY close, always have been. The darlin took me to Ireland for a fantastic holiday after my surgery, we had a grand time but it cost him a fortune. Please say a prayer for him, girls. Will keep you posted as we find out more. Sorry for the downer, but we are keeping this under wraps in the meantime as Hugh does not want to alarm anyone till we know more (I remeber the exact feeling) So tis is cthartic.

Well trying to catch a bit of sleep as the journey will be tiring. Arrngments made for the cats. Speak soon. Stay strong and thank you al for being there. Hang in there Cathi and give Ed a big tartan hug from Nets. VERY proud of him, let him know how much we regard and rspect him. Love to the kids too and the wee furries!!!!

Hugs and lollipops

Nettie xxxx

1Cathi

Oh Netts sending thousands of prayers and good wishes for you and your brother- XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX  So happy though you will get to see your little angels soon - be sure and post more pics.  I saw your comment -  WONDERFUL, they have no clue who you are anyway -  LOVED IT.

I just took a call from Amanda she had not called in a couple days,  I dread doing it, but as I have been coached it is still important to tell her I LOVE HER,  but she started with the homeless crying,  what is she going to do,  she can't believe her mother would do this to her,  won't I feel bad if I drive by and see her sleeping on a bag, or if she gets killed -  UGH  the maternal heart strings were pulled,  but I sucked it up and said I am VERY SORRY you are going through this, but no of this is mine/our fault,  she then said I would never do this to my children -  I said I PRAY you are never in this position either, and that was about it. 

I hate this,  and then you have SIL posting about setting up his new bachelor pad because his boss advanced him money -  Can I say HATE - just one time? God forgive me I HATE HIM.

lvtwoqlt

Hi from Minnesota! I am having fun driving Mr & Mrs Daisy this summer. I drove for about 2 hours today. I get to drive when my mom gets tired, but I also walk with my father to and from the car. When we were unloading some bags at the hotel, I joked and said just call me Hoke.

Cathi I am proud of you showing the tough love you have to do to get Amanda to help herself.

Sheila 

barbe1958

Prayers said for Hugh....!

Cathi, you're doing great, hang in there sweetie!! Have an extra drink or two this weekend...this seems to be a boiling-point kind of time of year for the older kids to get stupid(er)!!!! If you remember last year.......