please help
Comments
-
Finish each day and be done with it
You have done what you could
Some blunders and absurdities
No doubt have crept in
Forget them as soon as you can
Tomorrow is a new day
Begin it well and serenely
And with too high a spirit
To be cumber with
Your old nonsense
This day is all that is
Good and fair
It is too dear
With its hopes and invitations
To waste a moment on yesterdays
-
Cathi, why are you afraid, or maybe I should ask what has happen that you are in this dark place? I wish I could give you a hug and say everything will be ok. So hard to make decisions, so easy to second guess, so easy to look back and say if only I had... But none of that makes any difference. Can't change things. The best we can do is make the best decision we can at this moment with the information we have and then go forward. There is a wonderful peom by Emerson I would like to share with you...
Finish each day and be done with it
You have done what you could
Some blunders and absurdities
No doubt have crept in
Forget them as soon as you can
Tomorrow is a new day
Begin it well and serenely
And with too high a spirit
To be cumber with
Your old nonsense
This day is all that is
Good and fair
It is too dear
With its hopes and invitations
To waste a moment on yesterdays
-
Cathi, why are you afraid, or maybe I should ask what has happen that you are in this dark place? I wish I could give you a hug and say everything will be ok. So hard to make decisions, so easy to second guess, so easy to look back and say if only I had... But none of that makes any difference. Can't change things. The best we can do is make the best decision we can at this moment with the information we have and then go forward. There is a wonderful peom by Emerson I would like to share with you...
Finish each day and be done with it
You have done what you could
Some blunders and absurdities
No doubt have crept in
Forget them as soon as you can
Tomorrow is a new day
Begin it well and serenely
And with too high a spirit
To be cumber with
Your old nonsense
This day is all that is
Good and fair
It is too dear
With its hopes and invitations
To waste a moment on yesterdays
-
sorry, weird computer things. will try again
Cathi- why are you in a dark place now? what has happened? I wish I could give you a hug and say everythig will be ok. It is so hard to make decisions, so easy to second guess, so easy to look back and say if I had only....But it does no good. We cannot change things in the past. All we can do is make the best decision we can with the information we have at that time and then move forward. There is a wondeful poem by Emerson I would love to share...
Finish each day and be done with it
You have done what you could
Some blunders and absurdities
have no doubt crept in
forget them as soon as you can
Tomorrow is a new day
begin it well and serenely
and with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with
your old nonsense
This day is all that is
good and fair
it is too dear
with its hopes and invitations
to waste a moment on yesterdays
-
I give up. so sorry, it really is a good poem
-
1Cathi, Your choices/moves have NOT been weak, or giving up or 'not fighting'. I think you're a very strong woman. I have not been dx or treated as extensive as you. But I too wonder about the too much information. I've had radiation, 3 surgeries and 2 other biopsies. I'm STILL contemplating BPM, which my ONC, GYN and surgeon are recommending & saying that LCIS and possibly invasive cancer will show up in my opposite breast. But wonder if it's the right/best choice. And wonder had I not had the first lump removed would things be any different today or in the near future. I'm still in a custody battle for my 3 year old son, and the possibility of my not being able to be here for him is what terrifies me. I'll keep you in my prayers.
-
Hi sisters!!
Welcome, Deb...glad you made it here...sit down relax, bitch, complain..rant..or just have fun!!
Welcome Meg, and any other ladies who are new to this thread.
I read through, and was going to comment..then I realized there were 2 pages..no way my chemo brain will remember!
Jane..sorry to hear about your Mother...sweet thing she is..God bless her!
What I do remember, is the convo between Cathi and Barbe...and gosh can I relate to it ALL!! I have those morbid or should I say possibly REALISTIC thoughts. I don't even have a will anymore. I need to do that!!! Of course....unlike Cathi and Barbe...I haven't found that great guy yet...and I hope I do, and that the good Lord gives me many wonderful years with him.
Cathi...Ed...what a saint. Honestly...for a man to take in his friend and be the caretaker for him as he is dying..well..that truly says what an incredible man you got!! You are one lucky lady!!!
I sometimes worry about the pain in my head...lol...but I really don't think there is ANYTHING...lol..and I mean ANYTHING up there! lol. Actually, I think they are tension headaches...my neck muscles are even sore!
Well back to work for me girls...I will catch up with all of you later.
My friend Kim is doing great. They put her on birth control to shrink the mass. She is now on her way to see her sister in Kansas City who is dying of lung cancer. She is down to 86lbs...and there is fluid around her heart now. It doesn't look good. I am glad she was able to go. I sold her a cheap buddy pass to fly there. I am glad she is going to have this time with her.
DAMN CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xoxo
Lisa -
oh yeah...THANKS Cathi...for that GREAT group hug!!! It's been so long...forgot what the male anatomy looked like...lol!
-
Lisa, male anatomy only looks like that in your dreams. It sure doesn't look like my hubby
. At one of our support group meetings we had a accupressurist come in and do a quick session on each of us and that relieved the stress in my shoulders and neck. Crystal, the facilitator, goes to the accupressurist for regular sessions to relieve her migraines.The poem is good (just overlook all the computer junk)
Cathi, I chose the bilat only because I had the 2 previous abnormal mammos needing biopsied/lumpectomies since 2005 (once on each breast). and it breaks my heart to hear someone who has been dx with bc and it is in a more advanced stage than I was dx. And it does weigh on my mind about my aunt and my mother and the treatments that they had to go through, and I wonder why did I get spared some of the 'bad stuff'?
-
Oh Sheila...I know...God knows I haven't seen anything that good in a long, long time!! lol...I'll just dream!!! I think that is what I need..massages...or an accupressurist. I carry allot of stress in my neck and shoulders, always have!
by the way Cathi...I can't believe your daughter in NY could not get her doctor to agree to a mammo..esp with your family history!! That's just crazy!
My oldest is only 25, but she was told by her doctor that she should start at 30!
-
Elaine - thanks for trying - what I did see was very nice. I don't know what kind of place I am really in right now - denial - MAYBE, I saw the onco's face and heard his 'tone" in relationship to the blood work and bone issues, of coarse I know we "read things" into things sometimes. But right now I am just going to blame everything on menopause, I am going to do the opposite of what is so common, instead os says OH NO I have a pain it's METS, I am going to take my onco's less than reassuring talk/mannerisms and say OH NO its menopause. I am an ostrich with my head in the sand - and thats the way I want it for now.
Lisa you will find that MR Right, your to wonderful a lady not too. Ed just dropped out of the sky for me - I was in no way looking, I had swarn off men. Yes his friend Robert had no family (well a niece in CA) he was never married, no children, no siblings, parents had already died, he and Ed had been friends for 20+ yrs.
So anyway - I wrote this stupid little thing 3 years ago, just located it in my files. Gonna start living what I write - LOL
MY STORY
I can not change my story -
The ink has long been dry.
The story had been written
Long before I could even cry
A novel or short story
I can not be sure
The author has assured me
There's nothing that I can't endure.
I must take each page as it comes
Each new paragraph is now a surprise.
My story has been long written
From the beginning to THE END.
-
PS LISA - It really has been a long time for you - This is the real world - LOL
-
Cathi...ok..love the poem/story....very good. But GIRLFRIEND..the pic...I about spit out my diet coke!!! Well..if that is what I have to look forward too...forget it...being SINGLE is looking really, really good!!! lol ..thanks for the chuckle!
-
Well Lisa - you can go in the other direction I suppose - my honey is so skinny I am afraid the wind is gonna pick him up and blow him away some day - but he does have REALLY BIG FEET (you know what that means - LOL)
-
Geez Cathi ... I just eat my tea ... and those men are just gross...LOL... OMG... imagine .... ewwwwwwwwwwww .... OMG that is just awful!
Anyway ... I would like to say I love your poem... and I have been going through exactly the same thoughts as you lately about stuff...and sounding off to my o/h whom says youre not going anywhere etc ... I think we must go thru some kind of acceptance phase... in little doses... little strong doses... I make extreme comments to my o/h like "well I do need to diet anyway it will be cheaper when I go if I am a few inches slimmer...." I KNOW I KNOW ...its a terrible thing to say?!! but I just cant stop it from coming out @ times....
I do hope you are all OK .... we are safe here ... us sisters together... understood... and able to work through these moments...xxx
Much love to you all... xxx
-
omg! I am glad I wasn't drinking when I read that one!! lol. My ex..the father of my girls..was tall and thin. The jerk that left me after not even 6 mos...when I found out about the cancer..was more of a bigger guy...lol...but big feet...I'll take that! lol
-
Well my Ex was only about 180when I met him - he ended up looking like the guy in yellow suit - and he had the nerve to tell me I gained weight on more than one ocassion - he had really LITTLE LITTLE FEET - Should have known. LOL.
Yeah Ed's 6'2 and when he is really packing on the weight (H-HA) he weighs about 165, I love when his sister calls him chicken legs. But I love his little skinny legs and No Ass - If I could be so lucky - HA-HA
-
Sue -I like that "acceptance phases" it makes perfect sense. Although it sucks we have to accept this crap.
Hope you didn't choke on your tea. Those guys are pretty gross - I am laughing pretty hard now -hoping you don't have night mares. xoxoxoxoxo
-
just reread my post..the jerk that left...DID NOT HAVE BIG FEET! lol...just wanted to be sure that came across correct!! lol..in fact short fat feet...omg...and in the size factor..small..lol. My first, well..he was just fine in that dept. lol
ok..enough...this girl has been celibate for way toooooooooooo long! lol
-
Lisa maybe this kids dad is single -XOXOXOXOXO
-
Cathi...you are killing me!!! LOL!
-
JUST TRYING TO HELP A SISTER OUT -
-
Lisa, I went for close to 8 yrs celibate before I met Donald. And when we met he weighed about 250, now he looks closer to the guy in blue. He said it was because I fed him too good, but now he isn't at home so he can't blame me for the weight gain.
Sue you will be just fine. We all do have to accept the fact that we are special and sometimes that will make us worry more than the ordinary people around us.
Cathi, I can't see the picture you posted on the top of this page but I know it must be funny.
Sheila
-
Jule -I just skimmed back a page to look at something and saw your post from earlier today -I missed it then. I appreciate your words about your dad. He surley had a lot of wisdom. Like father like daughter.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
-
And Lisa don't just stop at the feet - go all the way - search out that special nose too.
-
Ah Cathi, I hate to bring up a subject from earlier, but I can't see these pics at work so I'm still addressing the thoughts about denial.
I think (yes, I do!), that you have the summer ahead of you that you want to enjoy. You will buckle down (maybe yes, maybe no) in the fall and address any outstanding health issues, if any. You want to have a happy, joyous summer and you deserve it!
I have decided that I want the same thing! I am going to my 2 kids weddings without fear, and living in the moment. I have worried about this enough for this year....
We are not in denial, we are allocating.....as one of our wise sisters told me late one night, "Let God take the helm". I want to be a passenger for a while and enjoy the view. I trust Him to steer me safely.
Love you all!
-
Wow - so many posts since I last checked in! My brain is having difficulty remembering all that you have been discussing.
Cathi, Barbe, Elaine, Sheila, Jule and everyone thank you for your wise musings and poetry. I'm so glad we can vent things here that aren't welcome in our other lives.
Thanks for the great pics! Lol!
My mother is now back in her nursing home and my sister is resting at home - they were both released from hospital yesterday. The doctors at the hospital said that mum has either uterine, ovarian or some sort of intestinal cancer but that, at her age and her being so fragile, they do not want to do any invasive tests. So they are going to manage any pain and keep her as comfortable as possible.They said she might have 3 weeks or 3 months. Looking back, she had symptoms several years ago when she was living with me but refused to have any tests so I think she has probably known about this for some time. At the moment she is comfortable and eating reasonably well.
Love to all,
Jane xoxox
-
Barbe - your'e inspirational. xxx
-
Dear Jane, you and Mum (and sis) are always in my thoughts and prayers.
XOXOXOXOXOX
-
And yes Barbe you are an inspiration (I don't care what anyone else say -LOL) XOXOXOXOXOX
I THINK I'LL GO RUN NAKED ON THE BEACH and scare some tourists -HA-HA
Categories
- All Categories
- 679 Advocacy and Fund-Raising
- 289 Advocacy
- 68 I've Donated to Breastcancer.org in honor of....
- Test
- 322 Walks, Runs and Fundraising Events for Breastcancer.org
- 5.6K Community Connections
- 282 Middle Age 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 53 Australians and New Zealanders Affected by Breast Cancer
- 208 Black Women or Men With Breast Cancer
- 684 Canadians Affected by Breast Cancer
- 1.5K Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
- 455 Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets
- 260 High Risk of Recurrence or Second Breast Cancer
- 22 International, Non-English Speakers With Breast Cancer
- 16 Latinas/Hispanics With Breast Cancer
- 189 LGBTQA+ With Breast Cancer
- 152 May Their Memory Live On
- 85 Member Matchup & Virtual Support Meetups
- 375 Members by Location
- 291 Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 177 Singles With Breast Cancer
- 869 Young With Breast Cancer
- 50.4K Connecting With Others Who Have a Similar Diagnosis
- 204 Breast Cancer with Another Diagnosis or Comorbidity
- 4K DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)
- 79 DCIS plus HER2-positive Microinvasion
- 529 Genetic Testing
- 2.2K HER2+ (Positive) Breast Cancer
- 1.5K IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer)
- 3.4K IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)
- 1.5K ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)
- 999 Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis
- 652 LCIS (Lobular Carcinoma In Situ)
- 193 Less Common Types of Breast Cancer
- 252 Male Breast Cancer
- 86 Mixed Type Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned
- 189 Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care
- 488 Second or Third Breast Cancer
- 1.2K Stage I Breast Cancer
- 313 Stage II Breast Cancer
- 3.8K Stage III Breast Cancer
- 2.5K Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
- 13.1K Day-to-Day Matters
- 132 All things COVID-19 or coronavirus
- 87 BCO Free-Cycle: Give or Trade Items Related to Breast Cancer
- 5.9K Clinical Trials, Research News, Podcasts, and Study Results
- 86 Coping with Holidays, Special Days and Anniversaries
- 828 Employment, Insurance, and Other Financial Issues
- 101 Family and Family Planning Matters
- Family Issues for Those Who Have Breast Cancer
- 26 Furry friends
- 1.8K Humor and Games
- 1.6K Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts
- 706 Recipe Swap for Healthy Living
- 704 Recommend Your Resources
- 171 Sex & Relationship Matters
- 9 The Political Corner
- 874 Working on Your Fitness
- 4.5K Moving On & Finding Inspiration After Breast Cancer
- 394 Bonded by Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Life After Breast Cancer
- 806 Prayers and Spiritual Support
- 285 Who or What Inspires You?
- 28.7K Not Diagnosed But Concerned
- 1K Benign Breast Conditions
- 2.3K High Risk for Breast Cancer
- 18K Not Diagnosed But Worried
- 7.4K Waiting for Test Results
- 603 Site News and Announcements
- 560 Comments, Suggestions, Feature Requests
- 39 Mod Announcements, Breastcancer.org News, Blog Entries, Podcasts
- 4 Survey, Interview and Participant Requests: Need your Help!
- 61.9K Tests, Treatments & Side Effects
- 586 Alternative Medicine
- 255 Bone Health and Bone Loss
- 11.4K Breast Reconstruction
- 7.9K Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 2.7K Complementary and Holistic Medicine and Treatment
- 775 Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results
- 7.8K Hormonal Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 50 Immunotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 7.4K Just Diagnosed
- 1.4K Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy
- 5.2K Lymphedema
- 3.6K Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment
- 591 Pain
- 3.9K Radiation Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 8.4K Surgery - Before, During, and After
- 109 Welcome to Breastcancer.org
- 98 Acknowledging and honoring our Community
- 11 Info & Resources for New Patients & Members From the Team