please help

1Cathi

Lisa  -isn't love - real love and respect just great,  I am so like you - Ed and I have now been together 6 yeras (married 2 this past May) when I finally wised up and kicked "boogie man" (as I now call him) to the curb -  I swore off men - 20+yrs of pure hell -was enough for me.  Then out of nowhere theres Ed -  to good to be true for sure -  at the start I will admit I was waiting for "the change", well it has never happened -  I can count on one hand how many times we have ever disagreed -  and that is not an argument.  Not on single day has gone by that he has not said "you look nice, pretty, sexy, hot" or something like that.  He was a 49yr bachelor (no children) when he asked me to marry him - EVERYONE was shocked,  he has told me  - he has told everyone  -it took him that long to find the PERFECT ONE. 

He excepted all the baggage that came with me,  2 daughters who hated me for awhile because I left dad,  an EX who was stalking and threating - he took it all in stride and never batted an eye. My daughters love him more than me I think (HA) and the grandchildren can not get enough of their PA-PA.  And then BC -  we marry in May of 06 - BC in June -

My life has come full circle now and I truly am so blessed,  He always says we work so well, because we respect, trust and put the other first always.

my3girls

Cathi...it is so nice to hear your story.  I had a very angry husband for over 20 years, and my daughters dealt with more than they should of.  It took me forever to finally say..enough! I then met a man...whom I thought was great.  I had many red flags, that should have told me otherwise!! Stupid me.  We dated for a few years, and married in Oct.06...he changed allot..then bc in March 07...and he was gone in April 07..chose his angry disrespectful 20 yr old son over me..long story.  Anyhow...I think the bc came for a good reason...it showed his true colors..and opened my eyes wide enough to see ALL OF THE RED FLAGS I had ignored before.  I was so content after I divorced him in July 07, even in the midst of my chemo.  I knew I had made the right decision.  Needless to say...I wanted to swear off men forever!! Then last summer, when the hair was back, the weight down, and my reconstruction completed, I felt better about myself..and thought..what the heck...a few dates can't hurt.  I wasn't expecting anything when I very reluctantly signed up on a dating site.  I was on for 1 month, had 2 dates..and then I met Dennis.  It has been 4 months..and I truly think God brought him to me.  He is so calm, and we never argue about anything, he is very giving, attentive and truly loves me..scars and all!!  God must love me to have brought this wonderful man into my life.  I think that is so sweet..how your husband finally found the PERFECT ONE after 49 yrs.  I totally agree with your last statement...that is why people do work well together...they are respectful of their partner..that comes first.

I can only hope...I have long term love with him.  Neither one of us really want to get married..but I guess that could change down the road.  I can't imagine not being with him, and he feels the same.

Ok..enough about me...I love all of you...but I must get back to work!!

xoxo

Lisa

1Cathi

WOW Lisa we could be sisters,  my daughters to endured to much from my EX espically the oldest,  That is my truly one biggest regret in life ALLOWING it,  she has been a bit full fiqured since she turned about 13 the 'TEASING" as he called it, crushed her so many times,  makes me so sad to think about it now,  I was so busy trying to PLEASE him and keep him happy be the good/perfect wife I allowed it.  Yup I woke up one day sitting on our back patio alone -looking up into the most beautiful sky that day I spoke to God he spoke to me and I decided I was not spending the rest of my life like I had been. I told him I was gonna leave, but in one last effort suggested counseling or anything that might help -  he said try and "F-IN" leave,  so for a few weeks I planned my escape and it had to be an escape-  On a Monday AM when he left for work I loaded up my Blazer with all that was dear to my heart (things I could not replace) and headed out.  I left behind everything - house everything.  I didn't even have a dish to my name. 

Anyway I got an apartment - and there was no looking back,  I started from scratch but I didn't care, it was just stuff,  WOW I just realized something,  Iw as so weak back then, and finally got the strength to do what was right and good for me -  and these years later BC and I just got rid of "STUFF" again to do the right thing.  I HAVE GOT NEW STUFF AND NEW BOOBS!

By the way I have named them Marilyn and Raquel -  Ed came home last night I said I took the girls out for a ride today, he is looking at me like ???????????  then I pointed to my chest.

HAVE A GREAT NIGHT -  XOXOXOXOXOXO

livesstrong

Well ladies got my biopsy date - December 12th - wish me luck!!

But I have some good news - UB is dancing with NED!!!!!!   His CAT scan came back all clear!!!! Now if he would only dance with me.....................

1Cathi

GREAT-GREAT AWESOME NEWS FOR UB - AND SAYING LOTS OF PRAYERS THAT YOU ARE THE SAME!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Anonymous

NancyD

Val, great news!!! I hope yours will be equally positive. That would be a great Christmas present.

December 12th, heh?  That's my office Holiday party date. You can tell the recession has hit. We're going bowling and having soda and beer and pizza. We used to have fabulous lunches with an open bar. I'll be thinking of you as I throw gutter ball after gutter ball. We had to sign up for teams and no one wanted to be on our dept head's team because she bowled regularly for years and is very competitive. I signed up with a bunch of other incompetent bowlers. One woman and I have the same technique...beginner's luck: start out strong and finish weak. Must be the beer. 

sueps

CONGRATS UB !!!!! I AM SOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YA....WOOOHOOO !!!!!!  MUCH MUCH LOVE XXXX

AE I will be praying for you all the way up to the 12th and you will be just fine... I empathise with you bout the biopsy ...ughhh ...stupid bootface!!!

Nancy your post made me laugh so hard....I went bowling with work a few motns back HAHAHAHA ..... we ended up having a few 2 many drinks and of course there were the ones who took it soooooooo seriously ...lol....I ended up throwing mine down the wrong gutter .... and being frowned upon by the next lane LOLOLOLOL XXXX 

lvtwoqlt

Val, Glad for UB's great news. I am sure that yours will be great also. That date (dec 12) was supposed to be our company Christmas party but the economic down turn has cancelled the evening Christmas party as well as the Christmas lunch for our company. The Christmas party was for spouses and involved dinner at the Country Club, dancing and door prizes. The Lunch was a catered lunch for employees only. Hopefully part of it will be back next year. The rumor has it that next year, our unused sick time will be lost at the end of the year. Now any unused sick time is a bonus check at the end of the year that helps out with Christmas.

The last time I bowled, after my surgery, I used the handicapped ramp to push the ball down the alley to not stress out my arms. I actually think I scored better than my hubby.

Cathi ad Lisa, I didn't wait until my son was grown up to leave my abusive 1st hubby, he was 3 months old when I left. I did like you did Cathi, I waited until he left for work, called my dad and he came over with his van and we loaded up my clothes, my son's crib and dresser, and the dishes that I got as wedding presents and moved to my parent's house. I was ready to be just John and myself until 10 yrs later, the love of my life walked into my heart in a snow storm. We have been together for almost 12 years and married for 11 years Dec 20.

Sheila

1Cathi

Hi All -I just got this e-mail from my daughter in NY -thought I would share -maybe you have already seen it.

On a Wing and a Prayer

I'll never forget that fateful day
When I heard the doctors say
We have bad news, the tests are in
I suddenly lost my happy grin.

They said don't fret, but to no avail
We will get through this..we will not fail
There is no choice, we must stand tall
And beat this thing, once and for all

Three months have passed and I am weak
My body tired, my soul so bleak
I will get through this that I know
But at this moment, it does not show

I want to rest my weary fears
And pretend for a moment that I don't care
To carry them all through the day
Just makes it harder...please go away

Four months have passed and I am bright
My cheery soul shines through the night
I think I've beat this monsters grip
My strength and courage, I came equipped

Today's the day they'll tell me so
You've beat this thing...one month to go
Let's sing and dance the night away
I'm happy now...so won't you stay

I always knew right from the start
I would prevail...for I've got heart
They said don't fret...what did they know
I had to prove it was my show

I fought this beast and now I've won
Thank you mommy...said my son
I don't know what I would have done
For it was all or merely none

I' ve shown such strength and through it all
I never wavered, I stood so tall
I made it through, from there to here
All because of a wing and a prayer

my3girls

VAL...yeah....for UB...so happy..give him a big hug for me!!! I will be thinking of you on Dec. 12...and praying. You will be dancing with NED too!  Now....UB...when Val gets her great news...you OWE HER A DANCE!! Promise us!

Cathi...we could be sisters.  You were very brave! My exit was much easier. I stayed in the house, he left. It was very tough financially, but I am so glad I made the move.  Like Sheila...I wish I had done it when they were all little.  My middle daughter called last nt, her ex boyfriend, whom she still cares about, had her so upset, she drove 2 hrs from Toledo home in the snow last nt!! I didn't want her too...but you know how they can be.  She called me from a rest area, crying and hardly able to breath..she was having a panic attack!  Unfortunatly I was not at home last nt. I stayed at Dennis's house. I didn't sleep well..worried about her. She called when she got home...I will talk to her tonight.  Olivia stayed home from school today, because she said when she was getting ready, Alise woke up and had another attack..and she didn't want to leave her alone.  I told Dennis last night...it's times like this..when I see her taking all the crap from a guy..that I want to call their dad up ..and say...THANK YOU..THANK YOU FOR SCREWING HER UP SO BADLY!! I feel so helpless sometimes. My middle daughter is the one my ex picked on the most.  She was a challenge..so he always fought with her, and he was very verbaly and physically abusive.  For that, like you Cathi, I feel guilty that I didn't leave early.

Sue...how have you been doing g/f?  How are the boys?

We have a ton of snow coming down right now..and the temp is in the 20's!! brrrrrrrrrr

love to all of my sisters here.  Judie..I didn't see what you posted. I have to log on at home..keep forgetting..I need to see Nancy's family pic as well.

No Christmas party for us here at work this year either.  Just as well.

xoxo

Lisa

lvtwoqlt

Sue and all, Hope all have a great weekend. I am headed home early, no orders . I am also taking the biggest part of next week off to use up vacation time that I will lose if I don't use it by Jan 1. I will be checking in some on John's computer next week and the few hours that I will be working to get me to a full 40 hour week.

We have had unseasonably cold weather this week and a few snow flurries have blown through. No snow on the ground here but up the mtns they have opened up the ski resorts already (about 20 miles from my house). My family is doing Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow and Donald's family is doing it Thanksgiving day. I am roasting two turkey breasts in the crockpot for my family and my strawberry/angel food cake/whipped topping desert for my in-law's dinner.

Sheila

1Cathi

HAVE 2 HAPPY TURKEY DAYS SHELIA, it is unseasonably cold everywhere - we are freezing down this way too, sunny skies but BURRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

It is so very, very dry to, have a few fires up north burning, we need rain so badly.

livesstrong

Hi All - Thanks for the nice words - I'll let UB know you are happy for him. Lisa - I'll tell UB what you said but he HATES to dance.

The weather has been very cold here but thankfully no snow.

We have a Chritmas party at work but we have to pay for it -  so needless to say I don't go.  The company does give us a very nice luncheon buffett though.

Did I tell you all we joined a gym?  I have been going regularly and I enjoy it.  Now all I need to do is stop eating.

I'm glad the weekend is here. bbl

AE

Sue - how is the lump?

dink

Hello all.

How is everyone.  It seems that we all have been tired.  I finally got my lab results from last week but the doctor's office has yet to call.  They just put a letter in the mail.  My anemiaa is better but on the low side of normal.  My sed rate , which looks at inflammation is normal, but my ANA came back "positive" and I was notified that I would be reffered to rheumatologist.  Today I left a message for the nurse which I know is avoiding me because I'm a nurse and I know basically what that means - maybe Rheumatoid arthritis or possibly lupus.  Well, she has yet to call back. I have fever off and on, tired off and on, purple fingers and feet, anemia, etc. Oh and the best news, HA! HA! is a colonoscopy the day before my 45th birthday.  Life is wonderful.  No I really feel fine about all of this and all will be well.  Today my smallest grandson turned 2 and he is totally an awesome little guy.  My dad will be 67 tomorrow.  We will be having everyone over tomorrow for a birthday party.  I'm not sure if I'm ready - I'll be even more tired but I love to watch him because he is so happy about eveything and never walks- he's either running, skipping or jumping wherever he goes.

Well, I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Hugs to everyone

Leesa 

Anonymous

Good for you, AE and UB. The gym will do wonders for your body and outlook all at once. That's what they tell me anyway!

Leesa, with a positive ana and normal sed rate, it may not be anything serious. The ana is pretty general and can change. If it is RA or lupus, take one step at a time. It can be no more than a nuisance at times. Hang in there!

Because I've been far too deeply depressed to just be stress, and my hot flashes are constant and insomnia intractable, I saw my onc to see if it might all be related to the Femara. She seems to think symptoms are rarely related, and wanted me to see a shrink about the depression and insomnia, and take a two or three week break from Femara to evaluate the hot flashes.

In the meantime, I got set up with relaxation training in PT with a woman who runs a wellness program through the hospital that has a great reputation. I can't afford it, so just set up a few individual relaxation training sessions that insurance will cover. She suggested some CDs that can be checked out from the cancer ed library, which I did.

Long story long, a couple of them hit me right where I hurt...like how do they know what I'm thinking? It's all about mindfulness, so that's what I'm working on and it is helping greatly.

Then I got so sick and tired of hearing people here talk excercise, excercise, excercise for anything from a hangnail to chemo side effects. It is mentioned frequently in regards to Femara. Rats! I'm a sitter, not a runner!

But I bit the bullet slightly and got out my Thera-Bands and pages of isometric exercises and stretches. My apartment is now decorated with pages of instructions and colorful lengths of stretchy elastic hanging in several strategic places. I stop at each one and go through the routine at that "station" two or three times a day.

I slept last night without any medication.

Tonight I went to the cathedral across the street for their ecumenical evening Taize service. So lovely and gentle.

I wonder if I am actually finally accepting the reality of bootface and taking steps to buck up and deal?

Or maybe I just needed a little entertainment. In any case, good to hear from everyone and hope your world is a bit brighter this evening than before. If not, (((((((My Sisters)))))))

Judie

Ulla

hi sisters..

to be honest,,couldnt catch and read more than 3 pages..but should say AE i wish u all the best..

and all my other sisters,,i love u so much..i wouldnt be able to walk all that long way without ur love and support..

to all of  u ..i hope u r having a nice weekend..

xoxoxoxo

Shirlann

Oh my, I see Ulla, Judie, Cathi, Leesa, and Lisa, Ae TICKLED ABOUT UB!

All my dear sisters doing well.

We are cramming in all we can, leaving on the 10th for a Christmas Cruise to Hawaii for 17 days.  And our best friends are leaving today, and Walt's sister is leaving Dec. 19th!  What it this?  Cruise month?  Well, the prices, if you don't need air, are really cheap.

So I haven't been around, doing Christmas shopping and arranging pet sitting, and, yikes, I am not as good at all this as I used to be.

Hugs and kisses to all, Shirlann

portiasproudmom

Oh, Shirlann, I don't believe that for a minute!  You are a virtual dynamo!  I'm amazed by your and Walt's activity levels.  Ahhhhh, a Christmas cruise!  It sounds heavenly!!  Can I stow away??

You're not the only one who wishes exercise wasn't stressed so much, Judie.  I've always done it, but I've always HATED it too.  I can't stomach the running.  I do 30 minutes of a very brisk walk on my treadmill every day.  It certainly isn't helping my weight situation, but I know it's helping my heart, mood, and sleep.  Hang in there!

Yuck, Leesa!  A colonoscopy the day before your birthday?  What a lovely gift.  Ick!!  I can't believe you have grandchildren.  I'm 44 (45 in March), and I have a 15 year old and a 6 year old.  What was I thinking??  He's the joy of my life, but sooooo exhausting!

Hope everyone's having a wonderful weekend.

Love and hugs,

Karen

portiasproudmom

AE, I forgot to mention how happy I am for UB!!  I'm doing the happy dance!!

Hugs,

Karen

1Cathi

Shirlann - Have a great cruise, enjoy the pampering. 

Karen I am with you about the exercise I do it (I should do more) but not because I enjoy it -  but because I know it's good for me, and also when I down 5 chocolate chip cookies that I made for Alexcis I don't have quite as much eaters remorse.  Before the surgery I was doing about 10miles a day on my stationary not quite back to that level, average about 4, but getting there -  with no boobs, I am working on my "ASSITUDE"

xoxoxoxoxoxo - Cathi

portiasproudmom

ASSitude!!!  I love it!  My ass has an ASStitude--it says, "yep, I'm a fat, flabby mess--you got a problem with that?"  LOL!!!!!!!!

Hugs,

Karen

1Cathi

Mine says "WOW -  "Didn't know anything besides Jello wiggled that much"

Ulla

hi sisters ,,couldnt put the pix in here as i had my first hair cut after boot face yday,,

DH is home now ..safe and sound thank god..

thought to share my new hair with my dear sisters

Ulla

"

Ulla

ooooooppppsss...that was really big wat shoulfd i do???????

Wren

Ulla! You look beautiful! Don't change anything about the pictures. I like how I can see the details. What a pretty face you have!

livesstrong

Ulla - you look FABULOUS!!! Like Marilyn Monroe!!

Shirlann - take me with you, PLEASE???  lol.  Have a fantastic time.

Judie - I am exercising like mad but still look and feel the same. I like it so I am going to keep it up- gives me something to do now that it is freezing outside. Beats stuffing my face with anything I can find in the kitchen. lol.

Love you all,

AE

1Cathi

My thought exactly AE -Ulla you do look beautiful like Marilyn Monroe - Gorgeous Picture,  your skin is absolutely perfect also.

XOXOXOXOXO -Cathi

nowheregirl

Finally got some terrific news to share with you!
Got a call from my best friend who is an Aussie living in Melbourne AU
and figured out that her only daughter Jess has been pregnant for 7 weeks now.
Us three (me, my friend and Jess) are all too dumb to know when the due date is
but we are guessing (after did a bunch of Google) it's somewhere around the 17th July of next year?
Correct us if wrong. I know most of you here have been there done that, right?

           
I have known our Jeddibear since she was in her 10th grade
and now she has grown up to be a young lady!
Me and my best friend Kelli have shared just about everything in our lives, from the worst to the best.
We are twins in spirit, her mum calls me her Japanese daughter and Jess says she has two mum's.
So her baby should be my first ever grandkid!
I WILL BE A GRANDMUM AS WELL AS A GOD MOTHER!
Boy, how can I not be excited???

        
xo
Fumi

              

p.s. I agree with Cathi. Ulla you look like Marilyn Monroe!