please help

nowheregirl

Feels like years ago when I last posted here.
Of course I missed each and every one of you badly
but just couldn't bring myself to post.
So much has been going on and work has been pretty busy as always.　

                      

Emotionally wise, I guess I'm getting my normal self back and starting to feel better.
Like I said before, I didn't choose to quit being friends with Scotty
so we still have been talking in emails/texts on an everday basis.
For the first several weeks, it was really hard and there was a number of times I had to burst into tears.
But now I'm kind of getting used to this.
I am sure there still will be times when I will have to cry oceans of tears
but he's just too good to lose so I will have to get over this.

                   

Physically wise, things have been on the crappy side.
Got shingles several weeks ago. The itching was almost unbearable and the rashes looked really gross.
On the plus side, thankfully and surprisingly I didn't get any sort of pain at all.
Just the itching that drove me crazy.
I still do have some rashes left but the itching is gone so I can cope them.

                  

Then a few days ago, I noticed a lump-ish (or more like a knot-ish) thing in my good armpit area.
Emailed my "the world best" oncologist but I was half sure it wasn't the big C
since it hurt when I touched it and it grew big really fast.
He called me immediately but after I explained the symptoms or what it looked like,
he was almost sure it was a cyst.
So did I stopped worrying? Of course not. I was still pretty worried and nervous.
Met with him on Tuesday night. He checked it and told me it was nothing but a cyst.
Though the nightmare wasn't over yet. He told me to lie on the bed
so that he could cut my armpit open and remove the bad stuff.
I was like WTF????? Hey I'm such a wuss.
It was done under the local but I still felt it and actually it hurt.
Now I have been meeting with my GP to get the wound clean with iodine and drained.
On the first day, it hurt like hell and made me almost teary.
But today it wasn't too bad so I am guessing it's on the mend.
Will have to get this done for the next 8 days.

                    

The real busiest time of the year at my work hasn't even started yet.
I think it will officially start sometime next week and last till the end of April.
During those busiest months, I will have to work 14-16 hours a day
and won't get home any earlier than 1:00am.
So I may not be around all that often but you should know
that I will be thinking of everyone daily.
Will try to pop in and say hi from time to time.

        

In the meanwhile, you all take care and have a great time.
You are my family and I love every single one of you.

                

xo
Fumi

portiasproudmom

Welcome back, Sue!!  It sounds like you and the boys had a wonderful time--I'm so glad!  Nope, Bootface can't take that away from you!!  Love you, Sue!

Cathi, you kill me!  You sound so positive and accepting of yourself.  I'm so proud of you! 

Hi Jane!  I've missed you so much.  Your life must be so hectic right now.  Will you be glad when you're moved in to the mountain place permanently?  Love you, Jane!

Hi Sheila and everyone else! 

Gotta run for now!

Hugs,

Karen

lvtwoqlt

Fumi, I saw where you posted on the 'hold my hand' thread. I am glad that your lump wasn't cancer but those cysts can hurt like crazy when they are drained. Donald gets those cysts full of puss and junk in his armpts and he manages to get them to pop open so he won't have to go to the doctor. I wish my job would pick up, the company I work for is part of the La-z-boy companies and they announced last week that there was a 10% layoff across the board, fortunately we already had several people leave or retire that took care of our companies 10%.

portiasproudmom

Oops!  I didn't read as far as the last page.  ((((((((Fumi))))))))  What a time you've been having, sweetie!  That draining of the cyst sounds painful!  Ugh!!  This is definitely NOT what you needed at this point in time!

Love you, Fumi!  Hang in there!

Hugs,

Karen

Shirlann

Hi, my dear, precious friends,

Dear, dear Fumi, I am so glad to hear from you.  My son has traveled with his work to many places, South Korea, Singapore, Ireland and England, and he just got back from Japan.  He told me, "Mom, this is the FIRST place that I have been I want to come back to".  I told him, I knew it, we only had just a short time in Japan, but I was utterly captivated by the quiet dignity, thoughtfulness of everyone.  I hope those shingles stay away, you can get them again, so get the vaccine.

Sue, love, I am still grieving over Zippy.  But I am so grateful you were able to have a good time with the boys in the sun and sand!  Just what you needed.  Soon, you will not worry every day about Bootface, who is gone and dead.  Trust me, you are fine and will live to be an old lady.

Judie, what a nice time you had.  I have never lived alone, I hope I do not have to.  I sure hope Walt goes first.  Isn't that awful?  But he is very stable emotionally, and I am a mess without him.

All my dear beloved sisters, hugs for now, Shirlann 

EWB

Sheila- When I started Lupron and Femara It was as though I slammed into menopause with steroids!  My poor family was really quite supportive during the months of the worst flashes.  I had the fan going in bedroom, air conditioning at full tilt, wearing summer pj and still sweating profusely. I still remember going to wake my daughter up one morning and  saw her  under sheet, blanket, comforter wearing  pjs and a hooded sweatshirt shivering saying "its ok mommy, I'm fine".  Mind you this was in the dead of winter!  They were (are) really good sports about the whole thing.

  

1Cathi

WELCOME HOME SUE -  Did you BURN ANYTHING in all that sunshine?????

Fumi the cyst sound just awful - hope you get it taken care of ASAP and can stop the DR. Visits and get on with things.

Thanks for the compliment Karen -  I really have surorised myself a bit with this whole thing,  I knew all all along it was the right decision, but honestly I did think I would have more unsetteling emotions over it,   I knew from day 1 Ed would not ever have a problem with it - but I think my daughter making the comments she has - really has helped the most -  I so recall the years (wonderful teen years) when I was "dumb",  "annoying" "embarrassing" and gosh only knows what else -  she is now 28 and a mom of two and no longer finds me any of those things -  SHE LIKES ME AGAIN -  I now look "kinda" sexy (as she said) with my new fiqure - and a few days after surgery while she was babysitting me (LOL) I was in my recliner resting my eyes(she thought I was sleeping) she just stopped behind me and was rubbing my head-  Motheres and Daughters -  we are something else.  Love -Hate - then the best love you could ever imagine.  

EWB

what a wonderful family you have, such a gift

geebung

Well, I know I will never catch up with all your posts as I have too much to do - so please excuse my ignorance regarding all that has been happening to each of you.

Karen, I can relate to the frustration of things not moving fast enough and I think it's even harder when you are building a new house. I hope you are able to make progress soon.

Lisa, hope your bronchitis and sinusitis get better quickly - these infections make you feel so exhausted. I hope you will be able to rest this weekend.

Judi - your retreat sounds fabulous! Love that you had so much laughter, good food and fun.

Sue - so great to hear that you and your boys enjoyed your holiday - just what you needed. I still think of dear Zippy and how you must miss him.

Fumi - so sorry to hear about your shingles and that cyst must have been so painful. I hope you feel better soon. You have had a lot of pain and trouble lately. 

Jane xxx 

livesstrong

Sue - WELCOME BACK!!!!  I'm so happy to see you had a fabulous time!!!  Good for you - it brings a smile to my face to see you so happy.

Mel -sure going to miss you around here. Wish I wasn't so broke - I would buy you a computer.

Jane - so good to see you - have missed you as well.

Well ladies I went for my biopsy today and as expected they couldn't do it. So now I have to go back and have it surgically done.grrrrrr I'm REALLY getting tired of this.

To everyone I've missed - you are never far from my heart.

Hugs,

AE

1Cathi

Dear AE -  I am so sorry you must go through this again -  Much love and good thoughts are coming your way. I completely relate to being "OVER IT"  Biopsy after biopsy gets old really fast.

 I will be praying for nothing but B9 results and not one darn atypical  thing. 

Love Cathi

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

geebung

AE - what's this about a biopsy? When are you going to have it? Hugs to you - it stinks having to wait and wait for these blasted procedures to be over and done with. Praying that it will all be benign. Love to UB too.

I had a bit of a scary moment today with my mammo. Went in feeling really confident - even suggested to my surgeon that as I was getting older that I didn't need u/s as well as my breast probably wasn't as dense as it used to be. He suggested that we wait and see how the mammo went. Mammo went well and I was told to wait in the cubicle with my gown on while they viewed the pics but then (I should be used to this by now) was called back in to have more pics done (I hate it when they put that tiny little plate on and press then apply the full force onto such a small area. Yowwwch!  The radiologist then showed me a white lump that hadn't been there last year so I had to go back in and have an ultrasound. That hurt too and they seemed to be interested in something under my arm as well. (I think I was imagining things by then!) I really thought the worst but, thankfully, they said it was just a new cyst. I have a sore breast tonight. It still feels squashed and the skin has split underneath from being stretched  and pulled onto the mammo plate. Very glad it's over for another year. 

Jane xxx 

portiasproudmom

Well, crap, AE!!  Why can't things ever go smoothly and easily.  What else can I say?  I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this yet again.

How scary for you, Jane!  I imagine you were sweating bullets for a little while there.  I'm so glad it's just a cyst.  I can't even tell you all how much I hate bootface.  We'll never again be able to live in peace, with confidece in our health, will we? 

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

Love and hugs to everyone,

Karen

honeygirl

Hi Ladies and UB! Just checking in one last time. I sure am gonna miss you all. I will come on as soon as I can. Thanks for all the well wishes. And Jane (((((((((Jane))))))))) thanks , for the thoughtful well wishes and prayers. You made me feel better. I'm sorry you had to go through all that with your mammo. Feel better soon.xxxx You too Karen. Thanks for the prayers. I will miss you!!! xxxx My friend from Fla. just called and she told me , she feels good about this move for me. She said she has from day one. This made me feel better too. She is so close to me. She is the one who came and helped take care of me after my surgery. So she knows me inside and out.

Sue , welcome home sweetie. Glad you had a great time. Post some pics of the fab tan of yours.xxxx

OK , I still have lots of packing to do. Love you all very much. AE , love you ;honey , thanks for buying me a computer if you could! Its the thought that counts. I really appreciate it. When I come back here , I want to hear b9 , b9 , b9! OK sisters , take care , love and prayers , Melody

lvtwoqlt

Melody, good luck on this move and don't stay away too long. Hopefully you can pop in occasionally, maybe from the computers at the library.

AE - I am sorry you are having troubles and having to go through surgery again.

Sue, I am glad you had a fun time with your boys.

Karen, I hope your housing problems straighten out soon and you can get that dream house built.

It is almost time for me to go home for the weekend.

Check in again on Monday.

Sheila

Anonymous

Fumi! Bless you for checking in. I've been thinking of you. Shingles, cyst...crap, I'm sorry.

Jane, so good to hear at last. It's hard when the entire southern hemisphere disappears. Be well.

Karen, I can't tell you how much your presence means. That house just has to happen soon!

Mel, your attitude is amazing, your heart strong. You will make it. I hope somehow you are able to return to us, though. Having you MIA here is change I don't want!

Sheila, and all who are fearful about jobs and financial matters in this crisis, my heart is with you.

AE, I could scream. How much is bootface going to demand of our lives??? Hugs to you and UB.

Cathi, I know what you mean about the mother-daughter thing. The rewards are worth it.

Sue, welcome back!

Shirlann, good to hear from you. Are you getting any smoke in your neck of the woods?

EWB, your hot flash story is all too familiar. Luckily, I'm living alone now so can create a chill factor from the south pole and no one cares.

Love to all,

Judie

Ulla

LOVE ..HUGGS..KISSES TO ALL MY WONDERFULL SISTERS,,

AM BEYOND BUSY THESE DAYS,,GOD WE HAVE BEEN ASKED FOR WRITING TEXTS (200-300)WORD IN SWEDISH..I HAVE NO ENOUGH TIME FOR ANYTHING...

LOVE U ALL

shari1232

I've been really busy at work, finished Mammosite rads, started Tamox, Dad just dx with colon cancer (surgery this coming week).  Why did I quit smoking?  Oh, that's right... I'm SO much less stressed now.... Pardon my sarcasm...  Cathi, your strength is inspiring... you all are... Ulla with your studies and successes... Everyone dealing with all you are faced with.  I cried at my computer reading about Sue's cat... felt like it was my heart being ripped out... glad you're back safe and had a great trip and are still kicking bootface arse.  Hugs to all.

dink

Cathi, you're a joy.  You make me laugh when I feel down.  Also, you make me want to get up and get out - that doesn't happen very oftern unless I'm going to work. 

I seem to stay tired all the time - I saw the doctor on Thursday and I'm waiting for lab results.  I think the anemia is worse.  Either that or an infection somewhere.

I wish I could take some of the trips or retreats that you guys have, they sound wonderful and relaxing.

Well, I'm going Christmas Shopping with my daughter - she says she is buying LOL Yeah it'll be me but it will be great to have her to myself for a while.

See you guys, hope everyone is well.

Leesa 

my3girls

Quick pop in from work!! I feel like I am so busy all the time!  If I am not busy...these darn infections have me worn out!

Jane, Ulla..good to see you both here! Jane sorry about your scare!  I don't have my mammo until January.  AE...darn it...surgery again? You poor thing! Let us know when.

Sue..glad you are back, and that you and the boys had a wonderful time.

Love to all of my sisters here..work is keeping me busy....gotta go.

Feeling somewhat better.  Got some drops for my eye, cause I was worried it might be pink-eye! What's next...lol. Oh well...minor things...just can't wait till all of my energy has returned.

xoxo

Lisa

my3girls

Almost forgot to say goodbye to my dear, dear Mel!!! I know you probably won't see this. Maybe you can stop by the public library and log on there.  I will miss your beautiful smiling face here! I think this move is going to be a good one for you also..only good things in your future!! I love you sweetie!!

sueps

Hi Sisters xxx

You are never far from me...I just am missing Zippy dreadfully at the moment and do not want to bore you xxx

Back to work on Tuesday.... and I have the holiday blues xxx

I will post some pics soon...how can I get over him.... how can I get over the sight of him brain damaged and blind... I know I know .... but how.... I am so sorry xxx

BOOOOOOOOOOOTFACE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU ...WE ALL HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!1 

1Cathi

Hey Lisa glad you are feeling some better -hoping you will soon be 100%

Shari congrats on finishing mammosite - YEAH!!!

Love to everyone else as well.  We are having company for dinner and Ed has been on the roof all day getting ready to hang Christmas lights,  this is our first year here so he has to get his plans in order-  my dear wonderful honey is what you might call "ANAL"   I request that all the outside lights are ready to come on Thanksgiving Night -  but he must have his blue -prints of all the decorations, etc -   Christmas is his favorite holiday -Thanksgiving is mine.  It works well,  I hate wrapping gifts - he loves it -  give me a gift bag - he needs ribbon cutters, and everything else - AND he even matches the patterns as if he was hanging wallpaper -Too funny - I tease him so bad -  but all my friends know who has wrapped their gifts. 

Anyway hope all is good -  we have a big cold front coming through this evening, it was about 82 eearlier -will be lucky if we see 60 the next ouple days -BURRRRRRRRRRRR

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

PinkLaddy

Hi Karen,

I was reading your Post about your Dog having Cushings. Mine has had it for about a year and doing Wonderful on this medicine called Trilostane. It is made from a Pharmacy that makes special compound medicines for dogs. It is a Wonder drug for our 12 year old Sch. Wiski. Just thought I would let you know.

Jerri

footprintsangel

Good Evening Friends,  Wishing you all the best as we work together to make each other know theres a way to get through this time of the year. I am alone through the hoildays. I lost my father with cancer day before Thankgiving(7yrs ) I  hope we all can count our blessing for each other. Take care, Debbie

dink

Hi guys,

The Christmas shopping was great with my daughter.  I had bought her gingerbread type ornaments a few years ago and we used them last year for Christmas because of the children.  Of course this year she wants to use them at her house.  Christmas is a fun time for the grandchildren and I love to watch them.  This year I have decided to use Mickey Mouse ornaments.  I found some new ones at Dillards and bought 24 of the characters, balls to match the colors, colored lights, beads, and wrapping paper for each person  so I can remeber who gets what present without labeling them.  It helps when the children just look at them and try to figure out whose is whose.  I love the discussions they have between themselves guessing.  I got the Mickey Mouse house, train, trays, glasses, cookie jar.  I went all out which I haven't don't since I bought my daughters ornaments.  Christmas is fun but I miss my family.  I'm trying to start Christmas traditions for our now very large family. 

I bought picture packages for each of my children so they would get their family pictures.  I love to look at pictures.  My daughter says I have to many pictures of the kids in the house. LOL

I also bought the coffee mugs for us to have hot chocalate - the grownups and then to the Hallmark store and bought decorative glasses for a punch that my sister-in-law used to make at Christmas time - I'll have to get the recipe from her. 

For some reason, I'm so excited about Christmas and I don't even know why.  This year we decided to take each of the couple (my son and his fiancee then my daughter and her spouse) out for a full day and buy their Christmas with them and eat out and do just what they want to do - one couple at a time.  We would Christmas for the children themselves and of course each couple have their smalles babies: Molly for my son and peaches for my daughter and they get their first Christmas steaks and toys as well as their chew snacks.  Molly is a little Yorky - I think and Lacey is a little Lasa Opsa.  Cathi, my daughter has begged my husband to put up the outside lights and he has refused since his mother died of lung cancer two years ago.  I think is going to this year because I bought the deer, outside Christmas tree and K-Mart had two different sets of outside presents and my daughter and I mixed and matched them so we both have square packages and round ones.  I can't wait.  I think I'm getting into the Christmas and Thanksgiving excitement.  It's been a while.  I'm sorry about all the little animals that have been sick or lost.  I know how important they are to all of us.  I hope everyone is ok.

Leesa

Anonymous

Oh, Leesa, you are a ray of sunshine on a gray day! If I had resources I would run with your plan...what fun! I miss those days and wonder what this year will be like. I plan to create a new holiday spirit using the old traditions but without purchased gifts. I have a feeling it will be just as joyful. It's all about memories and stories and family and the eyes of the children.

Keep the excitement and planning going. It's going to be a good one!!!

Judie

1Cathi

Leesa, you sure are busy - thats what keeps us going. Your son-in-lw reminds me of myself The year my mom died from Liver Cancer  -I wanted to cancell Christmas - I was so sad -  but my youngest daughter (she was 15 then) kindly reminded me how much 'grandma" liked Christmas and she would be really upset if we passed it by -  ( such a true statement) then she also said "besides mom I need some new stuff!"  LOL

In 06 when I was DX I thought for sure that was my last holiday -yup I wasn't going to be around to see another -how sad and mad I was that year.  Well now I will have 2 more holiday seasons notched in my belt -  everyday, every  second  every holiday  -  Life is truly a gift -  a gift  that is never the wrong size or color  -   It may not always be the "PERFECT GIFT" it does not come with out some up's and downs, some goods and bads -   but it is a gift I would never exchange.

I think that a tear shed at holiday time is not a bad thing -  I think then we realize all that we are, all that we have,  we miss those not with us -yet we smile at all the memories we hold inside.  2 years from now my grandchildren wil not recall what I bought them as a present in 2008 - but I am for certian 20 years from now they will remember -hot chocolate & snicker doodle eaing as ME-MA  blared the CD played to 'JINGLE BELL ROCK" and danced her silly head off.

So now I am a GUSHY - GUSHY Blatting fool right now  with all my great memories and all the ones I will be making for my daughters and grandchildren -  Debbie I hope that you will be ble to share the seasons with someone ,  Think of your dad on Thanksgiving not in sadness alone but in joy of all the special memories you do have.

XOXOXOXOXOXO -CATHI

sueps

Cathi ...your post brought warmth into my heart.... and is so true ...thankyou so much   .... I needed this tonight )  

I love all you sisters.... I cant tell you how much I truly appreciate each and every one of you....please know that you are all extra extra EXTRA special to me x x x 

livesstrong

HI Ladiies,

Cathi - your post was beautiful and right on.  Thank you.

AE