please help

sueps

HAHAHAHAHAH i AM LAUGHING MY HEADFACE OFF i MEAN HEAD OFF LOL...MEL WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  LOL  YOUR SO FUNNY LOL  SAY IT LIKE IT IS MEL ...YEH BOOTFACE KNOB OFF OUR MEL ... OR WE WILL KNOB YOU YA BIG COWARDLY KNOB....SHRIVEL OFF YA GOB FUL OF SPIT LOL

SHIRLANN LOLOLOLOLOL  LIMEY AND AMERICANS TEETH FALLIN OUT HAHAHAHAHA LOLOLOL AND YOU AND WALT HALF DEAD...HEHEHEH YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY.... LOLOLOLOLOL XXX 

honeygirl

Oh Shirlann! Once again , you have rooted me in laughter. Gosh , I guess we were a bunch of idiots! And of course as you were telling the story , my brain dead mind was saying , "yes , thats why!" Hope you and Walt get some rest. Love you Shirlann.xxx

Thanks Karen for the compliment. Its Judie's handy work. She's great isn't she?

And Judie , prayers for you and your ex. I really hope all is b-9. And I hope you have some healing of emotions. Love ya , Mel

Anonymous

Shirlann!!! You're back...I thought Sue would never get to hear the Limey story! Good to see you.

sueps

Of course Mel I do feel your frustration...but if we say it as it is and tell Bootface to swing with a derogatory or 2 then it makes it better .... a lil better...cos it makes me laugh .... 

what the freak .... bootface must get a place in some kind of dictionary....

NOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOO IT DOESNT WARRANT THAT ..... I WOULD WIPE MY ASS WIV THE PAGE!!!

honeygirl

Hi Cathi , welcome home and get some rest. Keep taking your pain meds to stay ahead of it. Lots of rest and no pain is the key to fast recovery. Take care.

Shari , gosh darn it , again. I really understand. At this point you just want to get on with tx , so it can be done and over. hope you start tomorrow.

Sue thanks for screaming for us. I just feel like I don't want to do this anymore. I'm sooo very tired of it all. Hey , lets go to Manchester for a voodka or two! xxxx Mel

sueps

Yes come to Manchester..I will take you round all the wine bars .... oh god Mel I wish I lived near you all.... why oh why  ...xxx

honeygirl

Sue , lolololol

Anonymous

Wow! The gang's all here it seems. Well, it will take a while to write this. I hope when I finish there are lots more posts to read. This is fun.

My day...

Oncologist in the morning. I tell her I just don't feel grounded in how we came to treatment decisions and a plan....that she just listened to what I had found on the web and said ok. Asked if I could schedule a longer appointment to start from the beginning, go over tests, statistics, options, do an OncotypeDX, revisit treatment options.

She was willing to do that, and very supportive. I was under so much life stress in the beginnig that it was hard to think clearly. However, she says a year past surgery is too late to reconsider chemo, so insurance wouldn't cover OncotypeDX. She also said that the results from that test tend to be closely correlated to the Estrogen receptors in the tumor..mine was 99% +. So I guess I'll just settle down and accept that I chose the best option at the time.

Then, off to the clinic where ex was having her mammo. They found three tiny calcifications in one breast and want her back in six months for a recheck. She's taking it fine. She's a confirmed hypochondriac about every little ache and pain, but doesn't tend to worry about things like this, so is doing fine.

So, this woman who destroyed my life nine months ago and I go out for lunch. It's as if nothing ever happened. Chatting, totally relaxed. Bizarre, if you ask me. I don't know how I feel. Is it good to be friends? I don't know. Is it bad? I don't know. Is it natural? I don't know. Right now I am so deeply depressed that there is no feeling. I just plan to allow it to unfold and observe what happens.

sueps

I used to feel safe and at peace in bed... now bootface has intruded there too and its the last thing and the first thing and in my dreams...I am in bed at the mo ...going sleep in min .... just gonna open ma window and throw the bag of  sh*t out the window... I am gonna have a night off from it ....

But I wont will I cos it will be tapping on my window in 15 mins with its slimey yellow fingers ...

Sweet dreams warriors.... lets put our shields up and shut down from it for 24 hours ...

there must be some coping mechanism out there for us all...

I am glad we are as one in our battle regardless of stages...

xxxx 

honeygirl

Well Sue , I wish I knew why it is sooo deficult for us all to get together. But , we found each other , and some how , some way we will all get together. Thank God we can at least all get together here. I would be sooo lost without you all.

BOOTFACE , YOU SUCKING FREAKAZOID , BOILIN A BAG PIECE OF SH__ ,SON OF A MOTHERLESS GOAT, GROTESK FILTH! WE HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh Judie , I know , maybe its gonna be a xanax night tonight....

sueps

(((((Judie)))))  sending you lots of hugs xxxx

sueps

Haha Mel ... get ya pill its healthy to rant!!!!!!!  x x x x

honeygirl

Oh Judie , I would find that strange too. Maybe she is putting on "rose colored glasses" as to not feel uncomfortable. Or she doesn't want to talk about what happened. And some people can just pass from one emotion to another , and act like nothing happened. Maybe though , if you are still feeling pain and sadness from this , maybe its good for you not to see her again.

Yes , I think we are all feeling bad right now. Like Sue said , lets put on our amor and be the warriors we are! But I think I will still hit the xanax!lol Hugs Judie

honeygirl

Judie , are you taking tamoxifen?

Anonymous

No, I'm taking Femara because I am postmenopausal.

honeygirl

Hey Sue , do you go to the docs tomorrow? Or did you already go?

honeygirl

OK Judie , I am ignorant to Femara. If you are post menopausal , but your tumor was 99%est. does Femara block estrogen to the breast tissue like tamox. does?

Anonymous

Oh, yes! Apparently the aromatase inhibitors have an even better success rate that tamox. I had a pretty easy time of it through menopause. Now I understand what other women were complaining about. Life is a series of hot flashes, sleepless nights, and emotional irritability. The doc gave me an rx today to help with the flashes/insomnia. I sure hope it works!

honeygirl

Sorry Judie , I had to do a load of clothes and heat up dinner. I am taking effexor for my hotflashes. I sleep well on the weekends , but have trouble sometimes , with waking up off and on during the night through the week. But not to bad. I hope your meds work. I still have hotflashes fequently during the day , but I think it would be worse if I didn't take the effexor.

livesstrong

Ladies - thanks so much for the laughs.  UB & I are off to Tai Chi - sure hope I can find my "center" tonight - I DON'T F'EN THINK SO!!! Should prove to be an interesting session.

Love you all,

AE

honeygirl

OK ladies , night , night. AE , hang in there honey. We are all walking beside you here. And we are all in foul moods , so bootface better watch out! Take care. xxx Mel

Firni

Hi Cathi I'm so glad you're home and getting some good rest.  Can't wait to hear from you!

Can anyone here tell me why I can't post more than 5 times in a 24 hour period?  Is there any way to be able to do more? 

footprintsangel

Hi Friends, I laughed cause I have hot flashes and am wearing wraps for lymphedema, Its a ball getting undone to cool off. But life goes on. I am on Arimidex, Does that bother anyones bones? Thanks for listen, Debbie

1Cathi

Hi All,

Trying to read some of the posts and catch-ip,, but my brain power is a bit fuzzy with the pain meds, AE I did read your posts sorry about the mamo results.

So far so good with me I guess,  some nausea  -I always do that with anestesia,  we went back in to see BS today -thought she was only going to taper back the surgical wrap -she completely removed it so pain seems to be a bit elevated without the compression, she thinks drains will be ready to be removed next Tuesday  I have not been able to look at my chest yet though, my hubby has as he helped to re-dress me, it totally made me loose it knowing he was seeing me, God love him he says all the right things.  Oh well, soon enough I guess,  well just a quick stop by -back to napping. XOXOXOOXOXOXOX

my3girls

Sisters, you were a busy group yesterday!!

I should have checked in, but i was busy at home, cleaning, decorating and like most of you....Hating bootface!! I have been so achy lately, muscles, bones, hands, etc..AND OF COURSE I THINK IT ALL HAS TO DO WITH THIS STUPID FRIGGIN DISEASE!! DARN IT, ANYHOW!!  Mel, you were so funny...going of on it...LOVE IT!! I also love your new avatar, what a good picture of you!!!

Val..I am sorry about your mammo and the darn calcifications...I hope your tai chi class went well, and you found your "center".  love you!!

Cathi, you sound good sweetie! Your husband is such a dear.  I couldn't look at myslef either.  I had my sister in law, who is a nurse remove my bandages.  She then assured me that it wasn't bad, and then I was able to look.  Rest up and take good care of yourself Cathi.

Sue...you can go outside and scream at BOOTFACE for ALL of us!!

Judie..big hugs for you! (((((((JUDIE)))))))....I feel for you honey, I really do! 

Back to work ladies..then home to bed....I have been sooooooooooo tired again!

xoxo

Lisa

portiasproudmom

Wow!  You ladies were a busy crew yesterday!  I enjoyed the rants against bootface.

I'm feeling a bit anxious and I need to get it off my chest.  I've not mentioned my fears to anyone.  I hurt just like Lisa does.  My knee especially.  And my right hip.  The knee is so bad that it pulls into my shin and my ankle.  What if I have this blasted port removed on Thursday, and I have bone mets????  I'm scared to death.  I'm scared that if I register for nursing school, my stupid frickin' bootface will come back and I'll have to drop out. 

I'm just SCARED!!!!!  I know I'm overeacting.  I know I'm being irrational.  But I HURT!!  I was afraid to mention my concerns to my onky because I didn't want her to send me for a bunch of tests.  Is that stupid?  I'm so scared that they'd find something though! 

I'm sorry, everyone.  I know so many of you are feeling angry and scared too.  I wanted to be one of the postive ones.  Crap!  I hate this stupid disease!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you all.

Hugs,

Karen

portiasproudmom

Lisa, I wish you lived closer to me.  It sounds like we're both a couple of hurtin' units!  I'd so love to curse bootface with you.... and with Mel......and with Judie.......and with Sue...... and with you all!  We just HAVE to meet, you guys.  We just HAVE to!!!!!!!!!!  I feel so alone.  I don't want to burden my family with my fears.  My dad just died.........they're going through so much already.

I miss Jane and Ulla.  Where are you guys???  Nancy, you haven't posted much lately either.  Fumi, please come back!!  I know you're sad, but we can help!! 

Sigh.....I'm losing it.  Sorry!!

Love and hugs to you all,

Karen

Anonymous

Oh, Karen! I'm so sorry you are so scared and alone. Please know that you are appreciated, understood, loved and held by everyone here. You've been in my thoughts frequently. You not only lost your father, but the ability to lean on family right now. Lean on your family here, Karen.

Fear of mets won't make the slightest difference in what is causing your pain. What will make a difference is finding out what is causing it and taking appropriate steps. It's a 99% chance that you have injured yourself and a little PT or meds will help.

Of course, my chances are the opposite. I'm just waiting for a bone to break from my obvious bone mets, seizures from my brain mets, and to turn yellow from liver mets. It goes with the territory my dear. It's part of the new life we get to live. It sucks. I'm still mad.

(((((((Karen))))))))

Judie

geebung

I just scanned back a few pages of posts to try to see what I have missed but I'll never catch up with all your posts now! From what I can gather, several of you are having pain and associated stress - Karen, Lisa and Sue (sorry if I have left anyone out - there are others). Sue, have you seen your doc yet? Karen, please ask your dr about the pain. It is highly likely to be nothing serious but I do hate to think of you worrying yourself sick and feeling that you can't burden your family with your fears. What a horrible year you have had. It's time for some good news in the form of NED so that you can cross that off your list of concerns. Lisa, I hope that you will get some reassurance from your drs too. Could all these aches be from tamoxifen or other medications? I have heard so many people say that they have side effects like these.

I drove back from my mountain home to my old home today. It was snowing not long before I left! Two days before it had been hot! Crazy weather but I guess springtime is unpredictable. I meant to post again before I left here last time but I was feeling rather unwell.

Hopefully, we will be getting the internet on at the new house soon and I can catch up with you all again. I am in the process of making a few social networks, doing some volunteer work, walking, gardening, reading, sketching etc.

I have missed you all!

Love to you all,

Jane xxx 

lvtwoqlt

Cathi, When I was released from the hospital, I was told by my ps not to remove the bandages until I came to his office two days later, I had no drainage from the incisions. So I didn't look before I went to the office. When the nurse removed the all the tape and bandages, she asked if I had seen it yet, I said no I followed directions and didn't peek. She said it doesn't look that bad. I sort of knew what to expect because I had seen my mom's single mast scar and a woman at the support group showed me her bilat scar. She let me get up off the table and look in the full length mirror in the room and it didn't look that bad, just still red because it was not healed yet. After the ps came in and checked out the way it was healing, she just put large gauze pads over the incisions and let the sports bra I brought in hold the bandages in place, no more tape!

I hope all are doing well, Everytime we have a small ache we automatically think it's mets but please don't worry but get them checked out.

Sheila