please help

portiasproudmom

I talked to my onky about it a couple of days ago at my appt, and she said that some women continue to have monthly periods the entire time they're on tamox.  I guess it's not such a strange thing.  She didn't seem too concerned about my situation, even after I told her how heavy the flow was. 

Have a good day! 

Hugs,

Karen

Shirlann

Well, after my riveting bear story, I can't find a single pix, they are all on disc.  We transfered all our, well, most of our slides to disc.  But we have the Queen's Bath in Kauai, me in the blue suit, with the big butt.   Walt in Vietnam with a  pretty girl, me, our son Marshall and a friend on our  albacore boat,  Albuquerque Balloon Festival with our motorhome club, Tanzania elephants,  me, Marshall and our other son Brandon, with his wife  (now divorced) skiing (obviously most of these pix are VERY OLD.  And down in San Ignacio, Baja, with the whales.  The pix is my grandson, my step-grandaughter, and  our friend.

Thank you Isobel, it is so good to hear from a sister who is doing well,  glad you are here. Everyone lloves to hear good news about "after" this dance.  Thank you.

Oh Karen, this is a whole lifetime, you will get most places.  We did virtually nothing while we raised 4 kids, no time, no money. Then I was a travel agent for about 4 years, and we got a few places with them, Russia, Finland, Germany and Austria.  That helped.  It was free, if you count baby-sitting 51 people free!  Arghhh  Karen,  I hear you, I cannot FIND my scar, and I mean it, it is completely gone. 

Nancy, love, thank you for the wonderful recipe!  It really sounds good.

I've had a verry strange thing, after all these years.  I had a lumpectomy and the underarm dissection (no Sentinel node back then) and after rads that left breast was slightly smaller and "perkier".  So moving ahead, when my oldest son got married, I lost 49 pounds (didn't last very long), and I gained the weight back.  So, NOW my left boob is 1/2 the size of the right one, I think what has happened is with the surgery, a lot of my fat cells were removed, so when I got fat again, ahem, the right breast gained all the "breast weight", it is a good thing I am old, I look like a frickin' freak.  I really do.  And clothes are a bit of a problem, although I bought a sorta half fake boob, but I never remember to put in my bra.  I know, legally, I could get this fixed, but I am not gonna have any more surgery, period.

Lisa, I am so lame, do you have bone mets?  Sheesh, breast cancer, the gift that keeps on giving.   

Fumi, come back and talk to us!  Thank you so much honey, for putting in the pix, you are a love and a computer whiz.  Fumi works 16 hours a day, what a girl.

Sue bug, how are you honey?  We miss you.  But I know how sometimes you need to re-group.

Ulla, it is so good to see your face.  I sure hope you are feeling better.  It is so unfair, after all you go through, to have something left to hurt you.  Not fair.

All my love to Jane, Judie, Sheila, anyone I just can't remember, but I read your posts and love to know we are all in this together.  

Hugs, and kisses, Shirlann

PS:  I will try that half.com, could be a smaller commission 

my3girls

Shirlann...no I don't have bone mets...at least I hope not.  I am just worrying about my symptoms.

I should try that book return that you do...I have some..and we get allot here in my office that go unclaimed.

Back to work...xoxo

Shirlann

Oh, I'm so glad, whew, I thought have I not seen this?  Oh yes, we all worry all the time, it does get better.  I had an appt. with the dentist and he said, "Did you know you have a lump inside your tongue?".  I said "WHAT!"  I was truly shocked.  He took out the lump all the while telling me that often breast cancer goes to the mouth (this was news to me, I think he is wrong).  Then, it was benign.  Whewwwww

I never have a headache it is a brain met.  Never a stomach pain, it is a liver met.  This is hard to get past, but it happens less and less.

I am soooo glad you are okay.

Hugs, Shirlann 

geebung

((((((((((((((((((((Lisa)))))))))))))))))))) I am thinking of you and praying for you a lot. You are so precious to us. I just hate that, after all you have been through, you have these worries. You seem to have been working longer hours than usual since returning from Arizona so your sore back is probably just from overwork and stress. No matter what I say or anyone else says, you are going to worry until you get the all clear so I will stop waffling on. I just feel for you and want you to know that sending you very loving thoughts.

I am also thinking of Ulla, Sue and all of you who are worried or sad and sending you my love.

Shirlann - wow - such great shots! I'm amazed at the whale coming up for a pat - that must have been fantastic! You have been to some wonderful places. If I had my life over again I would love to travel more. Thank you Fumi!

Love to all my sweet sisters,

Jane xxx 

honeygirl

For all my lovely , beautiful sisters and UB , My hope and prayers this weekend is that you all shall have peace in your soul , mind and hearts. I love you all. xxxx

OK , I think that should fill everyones weekend with lots of peace!

Lord , I pray that all who read this shall find peace in their hearts. It is with your peace we shall weather all storms that come to us in our lives. It is through Your peace and love Lord that we shall have positive light in our lives to see the brightness of tomorrow. We thank you Lord for all our blessings , and all our blessings yet to come. Heal us Lord as only you can , and I pray as You are always with us , we shall always be with You Lord. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

OK everyone , I have prayed for many blessings this weekend. Look for good things to happen this weekend. Believe. xxxxx Love Mel

geebung

Dear sweet Mel, you are such a beautiful person! Thank you for your lovely pictures - when I got to the aging hippy I laughed!

Love to all - and that includes UB!

xxx 

AnneW

Good morning, ladies! I hope everyone is feeling well and enjoying the weekend! It's been mercilessly hot here in the mountains, but the heat broke last night, and we'll be lucky to reach 80 today, instead of the high 90s. Ahhh, it makes for great sleeping. Our bedroom is in the top of our A-frame home, so it gets hot up there. We leave the door to the deck open, and I awaken early to the sound of hummingbirds fighting for the territory of the feeder.

We had a long visit with family last week. What's that saying about guests and leftovers being good for about 3 days? Well, this was longer. I felt like, even with gracious help of neices and stepdaughter and sisters-in-laws, that I spent most of my time in the kitchen, either cooking or cleaning or organizing. But I had wonderful time with the granddaughters. It was their first visit to the mountains, and they were thrilled to see the foxes, turkeys, and deer.

My poor kitties were really glad to see company leave. They are scaredy boys, and were terrorized by people wanting to pet them.

Now, it's back to eating healthy and getting exercise. Off to a spin class at the Y. Everyone have a great weekend!

Anne

karen2007

Hi,

Where do you live?

karen2007

Hi,

Where do you live?

my3girls

Mel...thank you so much for that prayer!! It made me feel good all over.  I will look for great things to happen this weekend..because of you and that I believe!

Thanks Jane for your kind words..and your big hug...I felt it here!  I don't know that I am working that much more...maybe a little bit.  My back is not bothering me today.  I will just think positive and wait to see what the oc say's on Thursday.

Funny...my blood work came back ok...and they said my pregnancy test was negative....I HAD TO LAUGH OUT LOUD ON THAT ONE!!!  I haven't been intimate in 18 mos!! That would have been a true miracle if it was positive.  (I am sorry if I already gave this funny news..I dont' remember if I had.)

Back to work...I wish all of you a great weekend!

I am going to look at all of the lovely pics that have been posted, when I get home tonight!

Love my sisters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sue..and Ulla...pls check in with us...we miss you and worry about you.

xoxo

Lisa

Shirlann

Oh Mel, those pix are so adorable, thank you so much !

And dear Anne, you are so good, what wonderful memories all the family will have, but it is so darn much work.  I always think, I wish humans didn't have to eat so often!  You just get one meal cleaned up and its time to start the next one.  All the rest of the stuff is easy, it is the dang food.

Lisa, oh darn, no baby?    hahaha

 Yeah, I miss Sue, but I know she is swamped, the boys are no doubt out of school, too old to like to be babysat and BORREDD!  I remember, about 2 days after school was out, I'M BORRRED!!!

Anyway, sweet sisters, I'll be back soon.  Hugs and kisses, Shirlann 

geebung

Mel - I loved the prayer as well - it was so heartfelt and loving and I'm sure God heard it.

Lisa - So glad your back is feeling better. I had a chuckle about the preg test!

Ann - I loved your description of waking up to the humming birds. I travelled through Arizona and Colorado in 1986 and I remember those perfect little creatures. We stayed at a log cabin outside of Flagstaff and the humming birds were everywhere - I was amazed at how tiny they were!

Love to you all, including  Nancy, Wren, Sue, Ulla, Sheila, Shirlann, Suebee, Jule, Judie, AE & UB, Karen, Kaloni, AnnNYC and anyone else I missed. Wishing you all moments of joy and peace.

Jane xxx 

sueps

Dear Sisters xxx

It is so good to come here ... I have had such a stupid hectic week xxx

I love hearing about you all .... and seeing all the beautiful pics. I am sorry for all that worry... and I send you all my prayers .

I wish I had more energy ... I have still not been for my blood test....I am way too busy at work...longer hours than ever and a shed load of paper work at home ...I am seriously considering changing my vocation...xxx

Went to a meeting the other night and ended up going round all the bars in Manchester again and getting rat assed ...lol...the only time I have felt NO pain ... my wrists and fingers feel broken ...I swear my bones are konked out!!!!

I really mIss spend ing time with you all.... the balance in my life has gone to pot...and I feel damaged by the chemo ...or the after effects...mainly aching .... heart pains and tiredness...but I will not give up ....I need to save all my peNnies to come and see you all xxx

Jane ....Possum sounds adorable...pls post some pics xxx

Well it is nearly midnite and I am just goin to get something to eat..I hate the imbalance in my life...anD I am missing you all like crazy xxx

I LOVE YOU ALL ...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BEAR WITH ME TIL I HAVE ENERGY XXXX

I WANT TO HUG YOU ALL SO MUCH XXX

sueps

Mel your PEACE is beautiful...you post such special words.... I am truly grateful to you all.

Sisters I miss you so much...what has happened to me... I am working so hard ...and still whacked from chemo...theres no end in sight and I fear the nxt time I am able to stop is when bootface returns and kicks...

I NEED TO WIN THE LOTTERY ....hehehehe

HELPPPPPPPPPPPPP ....

I am going bacK to my Thursdays and Sundays off next week xxx

Boys start their 7 week summer hols next Friday ....

Can anyone tell me why my bones ache ... will my bone marrrow get better.... I darent go for the blood test at the mo...I am too scared xxx

Ok back later .... need to eat xxx

I LOVE YOU ALL XXXX

honeygirl

Hi Sue! Its soooo good to hear from you. I'm sorry you are still hurting. Maybe its the bone marrow regenerating that is causing the pain? You know , when I went for my last mammo , I was suppose to have a test ran , and I said , "can we do that at the beginning of next year( this was October). And they said that would be fine." That I had been through so much , that I needed a break. So don't worry about not having your blood test yet. You my dear have been throught ALOT!

Rat-assed eh!?! Good for you!lol Gosh , I want to come to Manchester and get rat-assed with you! What fun we'd have. Until the next morning when EVERYTHING would be hurting!lol

Hugs to your boys , I hope they have a great summer vacation. Well , hope you are sleeping by now Sue . May Gods love surround you always. xxxx Mel

Hey Jane! I love the name Possum! How sweet. Yes , post a pic when you can. I would love to see your little furbaby. Hope you had a good weekend.xxxx

Shrilann , loved the pics! You really know how to live. Thanks so much for sharing with us. I love hearing of where you have been and all your experiences. xxxx

And Thank you Fumi , for helping out Shirlann with her pics. You are amazing. You have been through so much and yet you keep on keeping on. Thanks for all you do.xxxxx

Hi Lisa! Your not prego!?! Aww , I was hoping for twins!lol I'm so glad your blood work came back OK. Hope you are feeling better soon. Hey , did you have any other "matches" in the dating game? As they say , you have to kiss alot of frogs to find your prince. Keep serching!xxxx

Anne , sounds like you had a great , but exhausting time! Hope life is alittle less hecktec and you are back to your routine. Shirlann is right , I'm sure you helped make some wonderful memories for your relatives. Your one special lady!xxxx

Jane and Karen , do you have a moving date set yet? I hope so. How exciting. Please keep us posted on any updates.xxxxx

Judie , is this moving weekend for you? If it is , remember , let the guys do the heavy stuff. And when you get settled in , post some pics of your new surroundings. xxxx

Take care all. Love you. Melody

Shirlann

Sue, lovey, you just get by any way you can for right now.  We all understand the nasty SE's.  But Bootface is gone, never will return.  We just need to get through a few months, drink lots of water and even more ALE!!!!   Get smashed (we call it that, and a few other things) whenever you can, it will help you sleep, too.

Hang in there, honey, things will get better.

Hugs and kisses to all my dear sisters, and especially our Sue, Shirl 

Ka-Loni

Hi Sue, Yes, Shirlann is right here. You just take it easy and rest. Yes, and lots of water is best, and an occasional drink. Ha! I will go with you to get smashed. Ha! Bye.

God Bless, 

Love, Kaloni  

Anonymous

I am now fully, totally, completely in my own home. Piles of boxes surround me. I can't move. I hurt in places I don't recognize and didn't know I had. Sue, I now understand a bit of your pain.

But, by god, it's done.

My kids did it in two hours, and are my heroes.

I want to say more but it hurts to talk. Off to bed if my legs are willing... 

livesstrong

I think some sleepy time is needed around here for us -

" 

AE

Ka-Loni

Good Morning Sweeties,

Well, I managed to wake up here. Ha. Boy! isn't that sweet! Those kittens are precious. They sure are lovely animals. I would like to have one or two, but, I do not think my babies, which are cockatiels would appreciate that. Especially Mr.Tweet. He is old and set in his ways. Ha. How in the world are you posting these lovely pictures? I can not manage to get my Paste button to come on. I would say, I am a bit confused. Pitch in and help me! And, Sue, you hang in there sweetie. Just take one day at a time. I love you all. Bye.

God Bless,

Love,Kaloni    

lvtwoqlt

Kaloni, I think you need to use PhotoBucket. Others will be along to give instructions on inserting picts.

Sunday I was getting ready for church eating breakfast and my dh got choked on his biscuit and blacked out briefly. As I was trying to get him to breathe, I jamed my foot under the front of his chair and tore my big toenail half off. I was so focused on him, I didn't realize that my foot hurt for about 5 minutes then it started throbbing. I looked down to see blood ozzing from around the toenail. Needless to say, I did not go to church. I was doctoring my toe and keeping it elevated. I had the same toenail torn of in almost the same place when I was in high schoot so I knew what to do. elevate and ice. I almost had to wear my flip-flops to work today because I couldn't get any shoes on over the bandage my dh put on yesterday. this morning, I took the bandage off and put a smaller gauze pad on the toenail and tape all over the toe to hold it in place. I did fpull out a pair of flat sandals that I had and have loose straps across the toe and I could slip my toes in without hitting the sore toe.

I need to get back to work. Check in later.

Sheila

AnneW

Sheila,

My goodness, what a fright trying to get dh to breathe! Did you have to do the Heimlich? Gives me shudders. I'm glad he's okay.

I've parially torn a toenail before, and that's wicked pain! I couldn't wear a shoe for a week.

Hey, a month from today, we'll get to meet! I'm excited!

Everyone have a good day.

Anne

lvtwoqlt

No, it didn't get that bad. He has done it before when he sits in his overstuffed chair (almost reclining) and starts coughing when taking a drink causing a bubble. I usually get his body tilted forward and head lined up and he starts breathing again. I tell him that the cigarettes don't help the coughing. I would have to get him on the floor to do the heimlich, he is over 6ft tall and over 400 lbs.

Looking forward to meeting you on the 12th. Will you be able to go to Yoga that evening (5:30) at the wig bank? It is a restorative yoga, not too aggressive, more gentle stretches. Another note: Earleene said that when we get the details about going to Asheville worked out let her know and she will schedule accordingly.

Sheila

nowheregirl

Hi all,

I had a feeling that my Shirley Curly called me huh? Anyhow, let me re-post this for those don't know how to post pictures on the board. I made this instruction ages ago and posted it but it's been buried and I don't know where it's gone.

http://tamako.milkcafe.to/luv/bco_photobucket/index.htm

Oh and nope my Shirley Poo, you don't need to read this. You will always have me post your pix so no worries.

It's past midnight where I live (say 3am-ish) so I only skimmed through and can't address everyone. But I just had to tell this to those are struggling.

If you remember what I posed the other day, in the earlier days of my cancer ordeal, I was lietrally in the darkest tunnel no one could have imagined. A lot worse than you've been through. I got divorced with my ex in May of 2002. Mind you, getting married to be a wife of someone and starting my own family had always been my only dream because I didn't grew up in a loving family (long story). I grew up feeling lonely. So when I broke up with my ex, I really thought my life was over. Actually it could have ended because I was in HUGE debt. The reason why I had to break up with him in the first place was that he and his father (my ex FIL) borrowed thousands under my name before I realized and under our current laws, there was no way I could have sued them or got help to let them pay it off for me. I haven't even paid it off yet but at that time, it seemed just too much to pay back. I could have committed a suicide if I had been more brave but since I'm such a wuss, I had to continue living and make ends. So I moved back to the place where I used to be and got a truck driver job. I still work like 16 hours a day at the busiest time of the year (though I'm not a truck driver anymore) but with such a hard job, I literally had to work without getting any sleep when I was on the road. After I worked as a truck driver for a year or so, I managed to get a new job which I'm doing now. It was just about when I thought things started improving when I was dx'd with this stupid disease. Imagine the horror of hearing that big "C" word without having anyone beside you and coming back to a totally empty home. I knew I wouldn't be comforted but I just didn't know what to do except calling my ex. BIG MISTAKE. He just laughed (yes I said laughed) and asked me "so.... did the doctor give you a specific time frame as to how long you will survive?". I hanged up in tears and called my mom. Another big mistake. After she yelled at me like hell and blamed me for not getting myself checked out by a better doctor (she was referring to a doctor from the previous year who misdiagnosed me with something benign), the first thing that came out of her month was "so what are you gonna do with $$? Doesn't cancer cost you much? Count us out, we've already retired and you know we can't financially support you".

See, I told you I was in the darkest tunnel. I wasn't lying. But guess what? I'm still here. Better yet, I have lost 17.6 lb's since I started dieting since the middle of May! Been working on it so hard, staying under 1400 kcal and doing a 4.5 miles walk every night after work (and I always work overtime till 21:00 at the earliest) followed by a 40 minutes cardio workout. I'm almost where I was before dx. Woo Hoo!

Could I have done all this because I had been special and extremely strong? I don't think so. Mostly because I just had to. I had to continue living my life and to make ends without any financial support, I had to work full time and many extra hours when I was on treatment. I didn't have any other options to choose. But I refused to let cancer have too much of an impact of how i live my life. I decided to live like as if I didn't have cancer at all simply because I 'm such a wuss and couldn't have lived in fears. Of course I have been super lucky in many aspects, like I have the best onc in the world and haven't really had any major side effects. But if I chose to dwell on the negative, the list of negative things could go way longer than positives.

So even if it feels like your life is almost over, it ain't! It may take some time but you sure will be where I am. Life can be easy if your head is as empty as mine. Ha-ha! So don't you ever lose hope, you will be fine I promise!

xo

Fumi 

kimLDFLAP

If I were you, I would try to find another surgeon and get your mastectomy done sooner. I had to wait a month for mine and it drove me insane. I had basically the same thing as you and I wish I had a mastectomy at that time like you are. I didn't do it until I reoccurred. Personnally, I wouldn't wait....maybe it wont hurt you, but mentally it will. If you love your surgeon, then get on a call list incase there are any cancellations. Do not wait.

NancyD

Fumi, I totally agree with you. It may not make a heck of a bit of difference in our prognosis, but being positive makes whatever time you have more enjoyable. And that's what we're doing all this icky treatment for...to have a life to enjoy.

Shirlann

Oh Fumi, I just don't believe it, I thought I knew the whole story, but I didn't.  Bless your sweet heart.  NOT FAIR!!  Enough already.  It is time for a break from disaster after disaster.  You have been through so much, on so many levels, you should write a book.  I am not kidding, it would maybe help people who THINK they are having a rough time.

I knew you were alone, and you had gently alluded to your mom's reaction, so I knew you were alone and that means a lot of lonely, scared nights and hard, hard days, but I never dreamt it was this bad.  I should have come over and taken care of you.  Bless your heart.

Gosh, I hope in the near future, life smooths out for you, just a little bit of old fashioned good luck would do right now.  I am so glad your 3 year was clean.  I go back next week, and after all this time, the mammo still terrifies me.  I hate to go in there.  

Oh my, your saga has been more than anyone should have to bear.

You are loved and cherished by me and all who know you, hugs, and kisses, Shirl 

sueps

Good Evening Sisters xxx

 I hope you are all enjoying your day ....I have just flaked out ...with Zippy snoring right in my ear...well its more of a continuous grunt ... lol...

(((Fumi))) You are as Shirlann said loved by everyone...you have such a vibrant personality ...I wish I could motivate myself to lose the weight!!! hehehe.... and the walk after work seems  so healthy...thats just what I need !!!   But by the time I have gotten home and sorted the boys out...well its al,ost time to turn in ....passing my driving test was the unhealthiest thing I have ever done...I never seem to walk anywhere .... not that I dont want to...or anything...just having a car imo is baaaaaaaadddd .... hahaha xxx

Well David has just got back from his school trip to Alton Towers...a theme park in Staffordshire...and has been riding 100mph rollercoasters all day!!!!  Guess I am gonna have to get a liking for them as he wants to tour the theme parks in the summer...OH MY WORD...I have no stoMach at the thought ......arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh xxx

 Nancy ...you sum up Fumis' post brilliantly ...I need to read that over and over.... xxx

I love you all sisters...I am hoping the fatigue and the pain will lift as I really miss having the energy to come here and just type without the pain in my arm and wrist...I wish I was left handed !!

How can I gain more time and energy ...how how how....HOW .....howwwwwwwwwww ...HOW ...

I will feel better when I go back to Thurs and Sunday off....I hope xxx

I am gong to read all the posts now and think ....  )..... so if you see smoke across the pond it is my brain working some overtime HAHAHA XXXX

lvtwoqlt

Sue, the first time I took John to the theme park, I had to literally drag him on the rollercoaster, after that we couldn't keep him off of them. When he comes home if it is open he likes to take a day and go to Carowinds in Charlotte. When he was home in May, it was only open weekends so he didn't get his thrill ride but he did go to the races at Tri-County where he saw the races and smelled the rubber. He said that was enough but when he comes home he will spend a day at Carowinds.

Fumi, you are loved by everyone here and we hope that you stay around awhile. I need to do the walking too. Just got the team organization packet for the Race for the Cure in October. last year I did the 1 mile but hope to do the 3 mile this year.

Sheila