please help
Comments
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Sue
You know you have to be strong for your kids. Take one day at a time, and as others have said do not despair! There are a couple million breast cancer survivors in the US today (I don't know about UK). I also was recommended for a mastectomy, due to size of tumor vs my small breast, and I opted to have a bilateral. I am so glad that I had both removed. I also had reconstructive surgery done at the same time (tissue expanders),and I am so glad about that! I was diagnosed on April 14, and the first surgeon I met with on April 21 was going to fit me in on April 25, without reconstruction. I really wanted to get the cancer out. Then I went to my second opinion, and she told me to take time to make my decisions, and she was in favor of reconstruction, too.....I took some deep breaths and decided to go with the second opinion and had my surgery on May 23. The waiting was hard, but they said a few weeks would not matter. I used my time wisely to prepare, to read and learn, to schedule consults with oncologists, etc. I think waiting til October 9 is too much to ask of you. If I were you, I would go for a second opinion....you won't likely get a different opinion about the mastectomy, but you might get a better date. Also, if your doctor is not giving you enough time to discuss things, that is another reason to look for another doctor. I carried a notebook into my appts so I would not forget any of my questions, and don't leave until your questions are answered. If you read and learn on your own, you will ask better questions, and the doctor will respect you for it, too. Ask around for recommendations in your area. Do you have someone to help you through the process--spouse, partner, best friend, family member??? It is good to talk everything out, and to have someone drive you places.
I also wanted to say that my mom died of breast cancer 22 years ago this November. It is much, much different now. There are many cancer survivors 20 and more years. My mom didn't get the best care, and we just didn't know better. We didn't go for multiple opinions. I am currently looking into the genetic testing, but just because family members had it, doesn't mean it is genetic.....the chances of ANY woman getting breast cancer are high! I think my doctor said it used to be one in seven, and but is even greater than that. And even it is genetic, it does not mean it is deadly. Treatment is very effective.
Take one step at a time. Knowledge is power. You will feel good about your decisions if you make them wisely. I was not even afraid (I was a little nervous) the day of surgery, because I was confident in the doctor that I chose, the surgery that I chose, the plastic surgeon that I chose, etc.
I called my left breast the "bad boob."
As for your worries about your bones, I had a full body bone scan, which they might order for you, or you could ask about it.
Hang in there, you WILL get through this!!!!!!!!! Just look at the thousands and thousands of posts on this website and you will see many, many women are were/are as afraid, angry, etc.....you can't control the diagnosis, but you can take control in other ways...only you can decide how you want to do that!
Lots of prayers are coming your way!!!!
cookie
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hi sisters,,
i hate to be the one who feels bad all the time but its just how i feel now as my onk office called me today saying that there is nothing in my chest x_ray BUT the onk wants me to have another type of x_ray to my ALL SKELETON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!its called something *isotorp x_ray??*not sure of the spelling,,i was crying crazily today,,i dont know yet wen they will make this x-ray for me..
i know that the doctors here dont ask for any extra test if there was nothing suspeciouse,,as the onk told me 1month ago wen i asked him to have the x-ray for all my body instead of my chest ,,he said they do it to my chest first then if they found something suspeciouse they will do something more acurate....god only knows how bad i feel..
i went to the hospital to talk with anyone ,,the nurse there assured me saying that the onk who wanted the chest x_ray is not the same one who wanted me to have this new one,,she printed the report for me which was soooo short saying that there is no tumor in my chest,,,
but the nurse said that they dont depend ususally on the regular x_rays WTF IS THAT WHY THEN THEY DO IT IF THEY DONT DEPEND ON IT....
AM SICK OF ALL OF THESE THOINGS RELATED TO BC,,,
AM ETREMELY SAD
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Ulla, first of all, let me give you a huge massive hug. {{{{{{{{{{ULLA}}}}}}}}}}
Can't you seek for a second opinion? I'm not sure what that x-ray thing means but from what I have experienced through my cancer journey, x-rays aren't used so commonly to see what's wrong with a person who had this disease. Personally my onc would run MRI's, CT's or bone scans on me if he thought I needed them. Ultimately x-rays aren't good for your health so full x-ray on your full body could do harm on your health. If you are unsure if it's worth, you shouldn't do that. If I remember correctly, you live in Sweden, right? Sweden isn't an isolated country where people would go hunting in the deep woods to get their daily food. It's a developed country. They do have more advanced methods to check you out. Sorry for being ignorant but what is your problem? Do you have pain somewhere in your body? If they think you may have bone mets, then they should do bone scans. If they think your cancer may have been back in your organs, then they should do an MRI, a CT or a PET. Don't really think x-rays are the option you should choose. Try and seek for a second opinion. In the meanwhile, I will keep you close in my prayers.
xo
Fumi
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OH SUE!!!! It is so good to hear from you! We all worry. You have to work so hard. How come you didn't get a disability break? I know, I bet, we don't over here unless we are stage 4, shoot, by then, I'd just as soon work.
Yes, My last roller coaster ride was at the Vancouver World's Fair in 1986! No more, too old. I loved them so much.
Dang, have you gone for your bone marrow thingy? I am going to send you some vitamins, see if we can't get you over these lingering SE's.
Love you, sweet girl, Shirlann
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Oh, Ulla. Biiiiiiiggg hugs, sweetie! ((((((((Ulla)))))))) Fumi's right about the full-body x-ray though. It seems odd that he would order that for you. Plus, it really isn't good for your health. I would question it. I know he's an excellent onc, but it just doesn't make much sense.
Fumi, I cannot believe what crummy luck you've had. And you're still so positive and helpful to everyone. What an exceptional person you are! I thank God every day for my wonderful family and my dear friends who were with me throughout my health ordeal. I wish someone had been there for you. ((((((((Fumi))))))))
Love to everyone--Sue, Shirlann, Lisa, Mel, Sheila, Jane, Anne, Nancy, Judie, Jule, Wren, Suebee, and anyone I've missed. I love you all! I'll be glad to have my computer back. I miss coming here every day.
Love and hugs,
Karen
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You're a sweetheart, Shirlann! Yes, send our Sue some vitamins to get her feeling better. I just know that my huge arsenal of supplements is responsible for my bouncing back so quickly after chemo. My dh laughs at me, but I swear by them!
Hugs,
Karen
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Sue!!! It's so great to see you! You are working too hard, still. I think you will feel better when your schedule changes and your days off go back to what you are used to. Also, vitamins will help replenish all that was washed out of you during chemo, so that is a great idea from Shirlann. I also take a daily bunch of vitamins and I do think they are helping me.
Ulla, I am sending you as much love and support as I can. It must be so frustrating to hear conflicting or confusing things from your doctors. I think the doctors must not realize how their words can make you feel, also. If only your sisters or mothers could come to visit you. I hope that you will get to see some family soon. I know that for me, there is nothing like a day with my mom.
Towhee, you are all moved in! Now the fun part can happen and you can "nest"... Welcome Home.
Everyone else, it's so good to see you all. (I love the kittens, I need a new one).
Hugs--Wren
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I forgot to congratulate Judie on being all moved in. Even if you're surrounded by boxes, it must feel great to be completely "home". I just know you're going to make it cozy, welcoming, and wonderful. Hopefully, I can come visit one day.
Good to see you, Wren! Are you enjoying our nice, hot weather?
Hugs,
Karen
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Just a quick note for Ulla tied with a ribbon of caring...it sounds like they are going to do a bone scan of your skeleton using an isotope. This is normal. I had one after my mastectomy because it was the protocol for bc. It was clear, as yours will be. Hugs....Judie
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Just checking in on Lisa - how are you doing?
(((((((((((((Ulla))))))))))))))))))))) - you'll be fine.
bbl,
AE
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hello sisters.
Sorry it's been awhile. I have been tired, or working. I did have FUN day on Sunday. Went to an Italian festival with my g/f and we ate alot and had several beers!! It felt good!!
Ulla...I am sure your scan will come back just fine. Try not to worry honey!
Sue..good to see you. Slow down girl! No wonder you feel terrible..you overdo it! But, I think we could tell you over and over again to slow down...but it won't help...haha.
Judy..Í bet you feel good being in YOUR OWN place! Congrats!
Well..I heard from my gyno. They are talking about taking my ovaries and tubes out. I have cysts on both sides and my lining has thickened. I am still producing too much estrogen. So...I guess I am in for yet another darn surgery!! I see my oc tomorrow...I will know more then.
I know I can get over this hurdle too! Just wish I didn't have to jump one more!
Back to work. Just wanted to stop in and tell my favorite group of ladies hello! I give you all my love!!!!
Oh yeah...I am going to meet an older man...sometime soon...we have to coordinate our schedules. He is 57 today...so 9 yrs older than me. We have talked on the phone...very nice, caring etc. Wish me luck. We will see how this goes.
back to work.
xoxo
Lisa
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,,,,I forgot....my bachaches are still around...come and go..and I have been getting allot of headaches...but maybe just stress?? I think allot of it has to do with all of the cysts I have.
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Hi Lisa, they often do the ovary thing laparoscopally sp?. Or, they do the hyster through the vagina. This makes this so much easier, I wish my "stuff" was gone. But here, they don't do anything unless you have problems.
Try not to worry, and try Aleve with your back, it works well.
Hugs, Shirl
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Lisa, My sister had a partial hyster done laparascopy several years ago. they took out her uterus because of periods from h###. She almost had to have a transfusion because her blood count got so low before they finally got things under control. You will do fine with this, piece of cake compared to what we have gone through. about men, I am 7 yrs older than my hubby, once you reach a certain age, it doesn't matter who is older and how much. though I am in better physical shape than he is.
Ulla, I am sure that your scans will be fine.
sue you work too much.
Judi, glad you are in a place of your own.
need to get back to work.
Love Sheila
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Melody, I did it! Hurray! Thank You so much. I had to play with it a few times, well more than a few times, to get my picture to post. Ha! I love this! Now, I can be a little more creative here. Ha. I love bringing my sunshine into your lives. Well, I will check back in soon sweeties. Bye.God Bless,
Love,Kaloni
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Lisa, what a woman you are!!! Facing surgery again, experiencing troublesome symptoms, dating and having FUN!!!! You are amazing. I'm guessing the back pain and headache are stress and working/playing too hard. You go, girl!
Thank you all so much for the congrats. Yes, it's good being in my own home. The boxes are gradually diminishing. I can take my time now rather than be pressured by the schedules of others. Agnes the cat is in pure ecstasy.
Which brings up my current quandary. Friday I am supposed to leave to go to Lake Chelan for the annual weekend reunion of my RNB (registered nurse baccalaureate...we were already RNs with either associate degrees or diplomas who returned to school to get a BSN) group. It's our 29th. We are a motley crew that bonded somehow. I really need this. However, I haven't connected yet with anyone in my building so have no one to check in on Agnes. She's kind of living here under the radar, as it were. I would leave Friday morning and return Sunday early evening. Would it be safe to leave her with lots of food and water for that long?
Fumi, I am again inspired by your tenacity. What I love about your attitude is that it is entirely grounded in reality and simply doing what must be done. That fits so well for me. Thanks for sharing.
Love and hugs to all. Each of you is an inspiration in your own way. You have made life possible for me. Bless you...
Judie
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Lisa,
I had a complete hysterectomy a year ago this past April....out of the 4 surgeries in the 6 month time span, it was the easiest to recover from.....I had it done laposcopically with the uterus removal via vagina....very easy...
They made me stay off work for 2 1/2 wks but I felt like I could have come back after a week...they only thing I did that really made me notice that I had surgery was scooting myself around in my office chair as I have two desks that I work from......that made me a little achey but nothing xtra-strength tylenol didnt fix.
It will be fine, you will do wonderful.....the only suggestion I have is maybe to have a complete hyster instead of just ovary removal.....often times I have had friends do just the ovaries and then a few years later have to go back for the uterus....just a thought...
Judie-I wish we lived closer!!!!! your welcome to drop Agnes off if you want to drive to Chelan the LOOOOOOONG way around
Well as always Im at work so gotta run...hugs to everyone!!!!
Jule
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Judie, from what I know about cats, they are generally OK on their own when they are familiar with their territory. Unlike most dogs who will just eat everything you put in front of them until they are sick, most cats eat what they need and then leave the rest.
But the food isn't really the issue. That can be handled.
The thing I would be concerned about is that your cat is in a new home and may not feel secure. They may end up meowing loudly in fear. Have you ever left the cat alone before for an overnight (not just away at work for the day)? How did it react then? If it's an older cat that's more secure, you can probably do it, but if it's a young cat, it may react, either with the meowing or acting out by tearing into pillows or furniture.
Some alternatives would be to ask your son's family to watch the cat (they already are acquainted), or to take the cat with you. Some places allow small pets like cats to check in with their owners.
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((((Lisa)))), so sorry that you are likely to have more surgery but glad that it seems to be benign. I think it's a very good idea to have a hysterectomy and ovaries out - that will eliminate any possibility of them doing anything rebellious. I can imagine how you feel though - who would want more surgery after all you have been through. The new man sounds so nice. I so hope you have a great date with him. As somebody else said - age is irrelevant - it's things like kindness, sense of humour, interests in common that make a good relationship. My dh is 7 years older than I am and I know of some very successful relationships of differently aged partners.
((((Sue)))) - as Lisa said, you are an unstopable force! You have such spirit - in spite of feeling whacked from all that you do! No wonder you are feeling battered - most people in perfect health don't work as hard as you do - and you have the huge responsibility of your dear boys as well.
((((Ulla)))) - just want to send you a big hug and hope that you will have peace of mind soon. You must be so sick of all these tests and worries.
Nancy - how are you feeling? Are you having any post surgery problems? Hope you are recovering well.
Judie - so thrilled that you have moved and are feeling satisfied. It is a dilemma about Agnes. If only a family member could stay with her. Would it perhaps be safer (if you can't take her with you) to book her into a pet hotel/cattery/boarding place? At least you would know then that your sofas and curtains weren't being shredded.
Kaloni - hooray - you mastered photobucket!
Fumi - what can I say? Your story is amazing. Many people would have given up in your situation. You have fought such a good battle - and won. Big hugs to you.
AE - Iove the photo of the sleeping kittens - dear little things! Hi to UB.
I am feeling a bit dopey after having a lump cut off my tongue yesterday. I was a wimp and had sedation so I was unaware of the procedure but it was rather sore afterwards. Today it is swollen and I am avoiding talking and eating. (Hopefully I will lose weight!) Today I am having more cut out of my head where they removed the bcc a couple of weeks ago. Nothing serious - just slightly inconvenient.
Tomorrow it's back to the mountains as we have a sofa being delivered. I plan to move there within the next few weeks.
Lots of love to all of you, as well as Karen, Wren, Shirlann, Jule, Ann, Sheila, Melody and everyone.
Jane xxx
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Hi ladies. Just wanted to check in quickly to catch up with everyone. I'm getting my laptop back tomorrow. Yipeeeee! I don't know how much the repair bill will be--I was afraid to ask
. Big hugs to Lisa, Nancy, Jane, Sue, and anyone else who is recovering from or anticipating a procedure. Yike! Your tongue must be pretty tender, Jane. I bit the very outer edge of my tongue last week and it developed a blood blister. I popped it, and within hours it was back to its normal color. However, it was horribly sore for several days afterward. It made eating a challenge--which is a serious problem for me given how much I enjoy eating!
Lisa, when are you going out with the older guy? I dated a man nine years older than me several years ago. He looked and acted very young for his age. Things didn't work out with him because he was still very obsessed with his ex-wife. He even told me that I reminded him of her. That was all it took--I was outta there!!!
Judie, my friend has left her cat alone for the weekend before. They really are so much more self-sufficient than dogs. The only thing I'd be concerned about is that she may not be feeling totally secure in your new home. Could your son or another family member check in on her once or twice while you're away?
Take care everyone.
Hugs,
Karen
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Hi Ladies - just popping in quickly -
Lisa - sorry you have to go thru this - bc - the gift that keeps on giving.
Ulla - I'm thinking you will be just fine- hang in there girlfriend.
Jane & Judie - I find moving so exciting - I love the thought of starting over.
Gotta run - I promise I will be back later tonight.
AE
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BOOOOOOOO!!!
Hellooooooooooo !!!!!
I have a day off ...WOOP WOOP!!! Well it is 5pm and so its nearly over with...I have been catching up with the chores and shopping WAAAAA WAAAA !!
I just want to say hello to all you lovely sisters and a big thankyou for hanging on....I don't want to shout from the rooftops....but I am feeling lickle better...just a lickle ...sssshhhhhhhhh ...or buttface mite hear...ooppps I mean bootface....you know.... the cretin that reared its ugly head about a year ago...xxx
I hope you are all having good moments ...I have missed all of you so freaking much ....I miss chatting and laughing and reading and everything....but hopefully I will get stronger ....
AE .... how is UB ...has his tiredness lifted ....I hope he is feeling a tad better....give him my love...xxx
How is everyone ...I must go and read back.... I just hope you dont think I am an ignorant ladeeeee....I will read and catch up with all of us...there are so many of us.....with different lives ...yet still as one......
I AM WITH YOU ALLLLL.....XXX
Hey the UK is having an absolutely abismal summer again .....WHAT IS GOING ON...RAIN RAIN RAIN...Is the weather in the US different ....its driving me nuts here xxx
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Shirlann .......... Thankyou sooooooooooooo much for the vitamins.... it means more than words can speak x x x 
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Ok ladies .....the manager that took over my old shop has been suspended as $4000 got removed from the safe on Saturday.... so its all happening at work... I have got my deputy manager moved as he wasnt pulling his weight...and I wasnt wasting my budget on him...some people take the mick!!!!
Anyway I am back to my Thursdays and Sundays off.... thank goodness....Work is much much harder ...there is much paper trail and it is so time consuming...but hopefully I will get in to a routine.... I always think about you all when I am in the shop ..... wishing I was "going round to your house after work" I WISH I LIVED IN THE SAME COUNTRY .....YOU ALL ARE MY CLOSEST SISTERS ...WITH AN UNBREAKABLE FEELING IN MY HEART X X X
I will shurrrup and go read xxx
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Sue - So good to see you!! I'm still at work as its only 1:00PM here.
Glad to see you are back to your old schedule. It is nice to have a bit of a routine.Our weather has been VERY hot.
Thanks for asking about UB. He goes back for his follow up on Monday. He is still very fatigued and is afraid bootface is still hanging around. Please send all the positive energy you can muster his way.
Gotta get back to work - WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love the pics by the way - Good Lord some of those creatures are huge!!!
bbl
AE
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Sue love the picts of the cats! Penelope would go crazy with cats around. Glad to see you getting on a consistant work schedule again. Our weather has been hot and somewhat dry again this summer. they are calling for some rain showers this weekend. There was a minor tropical system that developed in the Gulf of Mexico and it will be moving North tomorrow. the weather man said that if it moved more North-east we would have gotten more benefical rain but it looks like it is moving more off the coast and not coming inland. We are still in a serious/extreme drought conditions but not as bad as last summer.
As AE said I am at work (1pm) and need to get back to the daily grind of entering orders.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sheila
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hahahaha look at you two WAAAAAAAAAAAA lololol
I love you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOP!! WOOP!!! hehehehe
I am sending UB lots and lots of postive energy .... loads....and thinking bout ya UB ..... I am sending you oodles of love and warmth....hang in there ..... you are on the other side .... ((((UB)))) X X X X X X X X
Well Lisa and Ulla ...I am so sorry you are both having a bad time...you are in my prayers as ever... I feel like I have known you all my life ..... I am thinking of you loads xxx
Judie .... hope you are settling in ...I love moving home...not the physical side but the mental .... starting a fresh .... I am forever decluttering..... speaks volumes for my head HAHAHA....
Well ..... this is how bad I have been lately...I have lost 3 cash cards ...leaving them in the terminals in the shops when I have paid the bill...AND last week I opened my new fax machine and as I was cutting through the package I cut the wires ....LOL WAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAA!!! hehehehe....
I am going to research why the UK have had 2 bad summers on the run...its not fair!!!! It feels like Autumn .... it is 2 years since we had a long stretch of sun!!! What on earth!!!
Back to reading....
xxxx -
I had a good news / bad news when I opened my pay check this week. Good news: I was paid overtime pay (1 1/2 times) for the 12 hours I worked the week of July 4th. Bad news: I wasn't supposed to get overtime pay for the hours I worked the week of July 4th. They will be deducting the overpayment on my check on August 1. Someone else who worked (only 6 of us worked any that week) called me to see if my check was right, I went to my boss and told of the error. If I hadn't told, they would have figured it out anyway. I better pay the bills this week and not depend on my check in 2 weeks to be a full check.
Sue, I also have been bad in misplacing my cash cards, though I usually find them pretty quick.
You have been getting the rain that we need on the East coast Sue, Please send some rain our way.
Sheila
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Oh, dear Sue, it's so good to see you!!!! I'm so glad you're feeling a bit better (don't worry--I'm whispering so butt--I mean BOOTface won't hear). You are in my thoughts and prayers constantly. Please load up on those vitamins Shirl sent you! Love you, Sue!!
We've had a long stretch of hot weather as well, Sheila. Today is a bit overcast, but it will burn off this afternoon. Honestly, I like it better when it's in the mid 70's as opposed to the 80's. That's just too darn hot for me. Now that I'm semi-menopausal, it's especially difficult. I hate sweating like a pig! Sorry about your paycheck booboo. Wouldn't that extra money have been nice?
Big hugs going out to UB. I refuse to believe that bootface is sticking around. No way, mister! Give yourself time to recover from that nasty chemo. It will get better! Are YOU taking vitamins??
Good lord! Is that white cat REAL? I've never in my life seen a cat that huge! It must be part mountain lion!
Hugs all around,
Karen
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WHOOPEE! Out Sue Bee is feeling better. I am so sorry it has taken so long, but having to work so hard during all of this was just too much. But hopefully, now, with this all getting out of your system, you should be back to normal. Wheww, what a trip nasty, stinky trip. Shhhhhh, we won't do anything but whisper.......
Love you all, hugs, Shirlann
PS: Of all things, our VET has a orange stripped cat that lives in the clinic that is not quite that fat, but almost.
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