please help

Shirlann

Hi my dear sisters, yes, Judie, go for it, you can always change your mind and come back.  We moved from a quite rural, quiet area in the county to a condo, right in the middle of one of the busiest parts of San Diego.  It took us a while to get used to the noise and activity, but now I feel like Seinfeld, so much life and action, young people, restaurants so close, a Bridal shop on the corner, it is LIVING.  We feel like we are in SoHo or Tribeca.  We have been here 11 years, and we love it.  Not to mention the savings in gas, we can walk to the bank, stores, about 20 restaurants and two malls.

Karen, you are doing good, honey, all will work out. 

Ulla, so good to hear from you, I think a little break is good.  Sometimes it is just so overwhelming, I think we all have some stage of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.  Doesn't just go away, and most of us really don't know how to deal with it. 

Sue, lovey girl, I hope you will begin to feel better.  I know you will, then you can begin to worry about if the cancer is gone!  We all did.  But that goes away too.  Time, sweet little thing, time.

Hi to AE and UB, hope all is well in your house.

Sheila, Melody, all you lovies, Lisa, I have a mush brain.

Hugs and kisses to you all, Shirlann

Anonymous

An update then I will try to be quiet for a while...

My actual final move will be over the July 4th weekend, but my youngest son and I worked in the apartment today for a while just to get a feel for it. We then decided to go to the library. In 2004 Seattle built a new central library. I'd heard all the hoopla but had never seen it.

I am stunned.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/news/local/library/

Take some time to explore the virtual tours and the magazine article. OMG. There is no way in hell I can begin to describe it. The experience is other-worldly.

It is five blocks from my new front door. Two blocks away is the Frye Art Museum, my absolute favorite and free. I lived in the downtown area for two years before I met the ex. It had been the realization of a lifelong dream.

I am returning to that dream. I am returning to myself. I now have tears of joy. I have a future. Mel, you will be with me. Karen, you are to be the first visitor. You will love it. I am double-dirt poor and the luckiest girl in the world.

In wonderment,

Judie

livesstrong

Hi Ladies,

Valsul's daughter wrote to us in our Yahoo group and I thought I would share it with you all.

She is a sweetheart - the apple didn't fall far from the tree thats for sure!

Not sure what happened with mum, for me it was totally unexpected, for other members of my family they thought they knew (but that was due to them losing people years ago and if mum had gone on for another 20 years from now they'd have still known it then too). 

Perhaps I was in cloud cuckoo land, but was sure that mum would be here to see my kids into their teens at least (BTW I don't have any children).  Mum swore by "The Secret" a book by Rhonda Byrne and it was this that got us through.  I'd predicted since mum's onc said that she could go on oral chemo that it would work and shrink the tumour - which is what happened back in April (or whenever I sent that email to you all).  Gary and I moved our wedding forward, partly because of mum's news at Christmas but mostly because we'd been together for 15.5years and when we announced our intention to wed back in early December 2007 for August this year, we thought why are we waiting, let's just do it!!  I honestly believed that we'd all be sitting together on the 29th August laughing our cotton socks off about the fact we'd moved the wedding when really there was no issue.

Mum was up and down and had been hit by a multitude of things since about the 14th March.  So with that wasn't put back on to chemo as she wasn't strong enough.  Mum got gastric flu which hit her hard and as a result was admitted to hospital as she was seriously dehydrated.  After that mum didn't truly regain her strength (not enough to be dancing like she did at the wedding), but was still able to get about but required some assistance.  We'd set up a bed downstairs to save her having to walk up and down the stairs at home and several weeks ago moved her computer downstairs so she could be in touch. 

Mum felt a bit under the weather on the 6th and 7th June (mostly just bunged up) but by Sunday 8th June, mum had perked up and looked great.  I'd been on her case to ensure she was drinking enough fluids, which cheesed her off no end.  And I copped for it on a number of occasions, but all in all she was doing ok.

Mum didn't feel too well on Monday and by Tuesday she was looking like she did when she got admitted to hospital for dehydration, that said she'd been given some medication to help unbung her which had proven to be successful.  So with more fluids I was sure she'd be ok.  Just in case though, Dad and I raised our concerns with mum's own doctor and her District nurses who'd been out to talk with mum on the Monday.  On seeing mum on Wednesday, they believed that mum's illness had gone to the next stage - which I could not believe, apparently there were a number of things that they recognised which confimed this.  Still sure it was just dehydration, I made sure she drank lots more fluids.

On Thursday mum still didn't feel to good with nurses coming out to see her throughout the day and into the evening.  Then mum past away at 1115hrs on the Friday morning.

Mum's next appointment with her oncologist was due on Monday, so I'm going to go along to this to try and get a better understanding about how it all happened so fast.

Still can't believe it, keep hoping that I'll wake up to discover that it was just a really terrible dream.

Keep strong and big hugs to you all.

Love

Jen x x x x x

livesstrong

Judie - I am so happy for you.  Don't ever forget - everything happens for a reason.

Hugs,

AE 

NancyD

Hello ladies,

We had a garage sale this weekend (cut short by the rain today) that almost ended with me killing one of my brothers (figuretively). Honestly, both of them tried my patience to the limit, starting with the ad we put in the paper for the sale. 

Bossy brother called me at work on Wednesday,  and left a very demanding message that I call him. I cut out of a meeting thinking that something might have happened to my father and called him back right away. He just wanted my "imput" on the wording of the ad, which I gave, and then he said, "Well, I'm going to say...(what he wanted)." Whatever.

Then he priced his articles very high...too high, IMO, for a garage sale. $100 for an upolstered bench. $25 for a toaster. He kept saying to start high and have some bargaining room. But then he got really annoyed when cop brother sold them for less than the sticker price. Apparently, that philosophy was supposed to be for all the other stuff in the sale but his. LOL.

Anyway, we made $300 that is going into our Family Reunion food fund. FR starts this Saturday and runs for a week.

Karen,  I'm so sorry about your house falling through. Many years ago, my ex and I had thought we had gone to contract on house. We had signed our papers and sent then to the owner's lawyer with our deposit. And then waited and waited for our contract back so we could start mortgage shopping...and waited for over three months! I finally called the owner who was suprised and said, "Didn't my lawyer tell you I had changed my mind?  I told him right after I had accepted your offer."  The lawyer was actually her ex-husband's friend, and the deal was more to please the ex so he could get his equity out of the house. There was no requirement for her to sell, so when she felt pressured, she backed off. But no one told us! And the sneaky lawyer held our money for three months!  Anyway, I feel like there are almost no straight forward deals anymore...everything's got a "catch", and it was a good thing your husband read the fine print. 

I do think, in my heart, that sometimes things happen for the best. And that usually, something better comes along. After the deal for the house fell through, a larger apartment in our building became available at an affordable rent. We took it and lived there for over five years. It was an easier commute for me as it was only a few blocks from my work. Although I had reservations about rasing our children in the city, it ended up only being for their early years, and they have good memories of it. So look for your "better deal" to come along. I'm sure it will.

Ulla, I totally understand about needing to get away from the bc stuff for a while. Sometimes, you need to do it to get some normalcy back in your life. Once you're through with treatment, it's not as critical to learn as much as you can about it. You've lived through it. But there is a very natural need and want to feel as cured as you can be. So do what you need to do, but as we all say, you know where we are.

Judie, for what it's worth, I think you made the right decision. It's not so far that you'd never see Connor, but it's far enough that you could have some privacy and be able to have your "own" home. I think it sounds like the perfect solution. As for being "alone", well you'll make friends! Do they have a social organization?  Maybe you could help start one up, if they don't.

AE, where in FL are you looking?  My sister has lived on the Gulf coast (St. Pete) for over 25 years. If you end up seriously looking in that area, I can put you in touch with her if you need some info.

Well, since the garage sale has been rained out, I'm doing laundry and cleaning up before my siblings arrive in a few days. The washer calls...no, seriously...it has a signal when it's done.

AnneW

Hey, all, I'm back from a really fun week in the mountains with my hubby! We did some killer hikes and fun bike rides, slept late, ate well (and often!) and just had a pleasant time with each other.

Now, it's back to the routine. My garden took off while I was gone, so I'm going to be eating a lot of lettuce and spinach for a while! And the weeds got out of control, so we mowed and whacked weeds, too. Up here in the mountains, we don't have grass--just natural vegetation (weeds!) It's hard to have flowers, because the deer eat everything in sight, except irises, so we have tons of those, all blooming now.

Judie, how fabulous that you are near that great library! I know you love to read. And there are always groups of some sort to join, if you want to need people. You'll appreciate the time you get with your grandson even more, now that you'll be a little bit away from him. But your very own space--cheappppp!--is worth it, so very worth it!

Sheila, I hope your water woes are over!

Karen, congrats on staying up through the whole Relay for Life! I can't stay awake like that for anything!

I hope everyone had a great solstice weekend. I love this time of year, except for knowing that the days are now going to be getting shorter...

Anne

livesstrong

Ladies -

Below you will find what Jen, Valrose's daughter, said at her viewing.

What do you know about my mum?

 

 

Well, mum had a penchant for Percy Pigs.  In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, Percy Pigs are jelly sweets that can only be bought from Marks & Spencers.  Mum believed that Percy Pigs were a cure-all for any ailment.  When in hospital most patients would be brought grapes, I think Percy Pigs are partly grape flavoured, but because mum had such a huge sweet tooth, we’d all bring her a packet of Percy Pigs which mum would regularly share with her fellow patients to see them through their hospital visit.

 

 

Mum had cheesy feet.  There was no getting away from it.  After a hard day at work, or long day at the shops, mum’s feet would hum.  I always knew the instant mum took off her shoes.  If she wiggled her toes – well you had no chance – the smell would reach your nostrils before you had chance to say “don’t take your shoes off!”.  The cats loved mum’s feet, for them, the cheesier the better.

 

 

Mum always had a book on the go.  One of her Christmas presents from the family was Rupert Everett’s “Red Carpets and Other Banana Skins”.  Of an evening she would read excerpts to me that would have us rolling on the floor with laughter.

 

If mum didn’t have her nose in a book, she would be upstairs on the computer surfing the internet.  Mum visited a breast cancer forum where she made some fantastic friends in Canada and the US who have testified just these last few days that mum was a great support and inspiration to them and that she’ll be hugely missed.  In order to help mum through her tough time with Chemo, the girls made a hug in the form of a patchwork quilt for mum with pictures of themselves and messages.  They’ve assured me that their thoughts will be with mum and us today.

 

 

Mum is one of very few people I know who love their job.  I don’t think it was her job so much, but more the family of people she would get together with daily.  She loved everyone she worked with at the Liver buildings and always looked forward to getting back to work.

 

 

Mum loved writing and the writing group she skipped along to on a Tuesday evening.  Mum was fond of everyone in the group and loved the feedback on her work, some of which has been published, although she never got to finish her book.

 

 

 

Mum was no help at all when it came to choosing my wedding dress.  To mum, everything I tried on was “Oh Jen, that looks beautiful.”  This annoyed me no end, so much so I dragged Louise out with us one day, who provided the same answer but in stereo.

 

Mum was truly delighted with her “frock” - as she described it in her scouse accent - for the wedding.  She looked stunning in it too.

 

The best was seeing her strut her stuff on the dance floor to Guns’n’Roses “Sweet Child O’ Mine”.  To my friends’ astonishment, mum knew all the words to the rock song.  Well, she was a secret rock chick being into bands like ZZ top, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath and the Stones to name but a few.

 

 

 

Mum never gave up, and even on the Tuesday before she passed away she was talking about the Cholmondeley Castle Fireworks Concert and hoping that their Pimms tent would be open this year.

 

 

I’m sure I speak for us all in that we’ve lost someone truly special.  For Nat and I we have lost our mum and dad has lost his wife but I think I’m right in saying that Dad, Nat and I have lost our greatest friend.

 

 

For me, my mum was my best friend.

 

 

 

Here are some words for Mum….

 

 

A ship sails and I stand watching till she fades on the horizon

and someone at my side says

She is gone.

 

 

Gone where? Gone from my sight, that is all.

She is just as large now as when I last saw her.

Her diminished size and total loss from my sight is in me, not

in her.

 

 

 

 

Gun's & Rose's ????????????????????????????????

I hope you are dancing your ass off in heaven my friend !!!

 

AE 

 

 

 

sueps

AE

Thankyou so much for posting Jennys' words it means a lot..what a wonderful daughter ... just like her mum xxx

Guns n Roses eh ...LOL..... tickled me heheheheh xxx

Valsul ... oh my ... You will ALWAYS be a part of us  !!! X X X

sueps

Well Sisters ...I hope you had a lovely weekend ...xxx

I have 2 days of my holiday left and the weather has been pretty miserable!!! It was a scorcher last week ...typical .... hahaha...

Anyway I finally took a pic of the finished table...I will post a before pic too ...   xxx

above is the before...for the colour ...a few years ago before it got wear...

....  xxxx

 

sueps

Judie .... What a great decision.... I just feel that it will be good...gosh it is exciting ... I am going to take a look at your link in a min .... I WANT TO MOVE CLOSER TO YOU ALL!!!

Karen....you will find the right house... just think if you had arranged to move there and it all went pear shaped... there is a house out there JUST FOR YOU!!! XXX

Hello to all the dearest of dear sisters ... and Ub.... I bet we are doing enough snoozing for the world!!!  ... at least we are on the up now.... .... x x x

Well what else... I just seem to have been sleeping all the time...the weather has been a big let down...in fact today it is very windy and wintery...which feels bizzare for June!!

I will go back now and read all the posts while I am aving a brew xxx

Nancy ...is a garage sale like a carboot sale...we have carboot sales...lots of cars gather on a field and open their boots to sell their loot etc .... do you have carboot sales and markets in America ... xxx

portiasproudmom

Hi everyone!  No time to catch up on posts because Chase is hounding me to use the computer.  However, I woke up this morning thinking about Jule.  How are you doing sweetie?  I know Valerie's passing hit you pretty hard (it was hard for all of us to hear, but particularly for you and AE).  Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and hope you're okay.

Love and hugs to all!  bbl.

Karen

livesstrong

Karen - I haven't heard from Jule either.  I know she has been really busy. Congrats on doing the walk by the way- they are fun, aren't they?

Sue - GREAT JOB!!!  WOW!!  We should go into business together. hahaha. A garage sale is when you find all the stuff around your house you don't want or need anymore and sell it either out of your garage or on your driveway.  You advertise in the paper and if you are lucky allot of people show up!!  I go to them every weekend to see what "treasures" I can find - it drives UB crazy!!Most of the stuff Ii have on my patio came from either a yard sale, flea market or the trash!!

Have to go back and find Judie's link.

Hope this site is up tomorrow.

Hugs,

UB

portiasproudmom

Here are a couple photos from the Relay for Life.  One is of Portia and her friend Ariel.  The other is of my best friend's daughter Cheyenne with Blitz, the Seattle Seahawk's mascot.  If you're wondering what's on her face--they had a face painting booth there.  It was soooo funny!  Blitz went into the tent, where Portia and Ariel were sleeping, and was clapping and trying to get them to wake up.  Portia didn't budge, but he startled poor Ariel half to death!

Hugs,

Karen

portiasproudmom

Sue, I love your table.  Beautiful!!

Welcome back, Anne!!!

Sorry your garage sale got rained out, Nancy.  Sounds like you did really well though, while you were able.

honeygirl

Hi all. Nancy , sounds like you had a profitable sale. Wow , a week long FR? Sounds like fun. Hope you all have a good time. Maybe try duck taping your brother's mouth!lol It comes in a variety of colors!lol

Anne , welcome back. Sounds like you had a really great time. Sounds like you have a great garden. Ahh , fresh grown veggies , yum!

AE , I am sorry. I thought Valsul's name was Valerie. I see you wrote Valrose. I must of just assumed Val was short for Valerie. what lovely words from her daughter.

Wow Sue , you did a great jog on the table. Sorry the weather has been crappy for you holiday. Did you and the boys get to go anywhere? At least it was time off for r&r.

Karen , congrats on the race. Sounds like it was great. Love the pics. I can see why Ariel was startled!

Judie , can't wait for moving day! I will go to the site and get a good look at the library. Sounds like a wonderful city with lots to do. Good for you!

Well , 3:30am will be here to soon. So I better get to bed.

Lisa , hope you're having a wonderful vacation. Miss you!

Love you all. Mel

suebee92

HELLO ALL!

How is everyone doing? I feel like i've been gone for ages. My son turned 9 this past Tues. and had a championship baseball game on Wed. ( they won!!! ) Planned a big party for him this weekend, so had a sleepover last night and 8 boys over to swim today. Of course good Ohio weather we had a tornado warning and ended up in the basement for about an hour. haha. It cleared up enough for them to be able to swim awhile. All was good.

Anyways just wanted to let you know I have chosen not to have the expanders moved and replaced, but to go ahead with the implants. No matter what size i'll end up. So surgery is tomorrow and after the implants are placed i'll have my ovaries removed. So i guess i'm in for a big day tomorrow? Just wanted to check in and try to catch up on some threads.

Hope everyone is well and i will check in soon, those boys wore me out, gonna try to get some rest.

HUGS AND KISSES!

Suebee

portiasproudmom

Good luck tomorrow, Suebee!  Big hugs and prayers are coming your way from Washington State!

Love and hugs,

Karen

AnneW

Suebee,

Big day, indeed, tomorrow! Sounds like you've got a great attitude, and all will work out. Best of luck.

Anne

livesstrong

Mel - you are right - her name was Valerie - we called her Valrose on the yahoo site because she loved roses!!

Karen - great pics!!  Glad you all had fun.

Suebee- Good Luck today!!

bbl

Ae

lvtwoqlt

I will try and catch up later, I just skimmed the posts from the weekend, SueBee Good luck on your exchange surgery. What Val's daughter said about her mum reminded me so much of my aunt when she had Ovarian Cancer, she had good days and bad days, my bro and his wife moved their wedding up to Labor day and that was the last event my aunt attended. A few days before she passed away, she was pinning curtains for her sons' new room and got frustrated when she did one panel upside down (plaid curtains and plaid did not match) We told her don't worry about it we would fix it later.

got to get back to work, dentist appointment today (2nd opinion)

Sheila

Anonymous

AE & Karen, Thanks for asking after me...

Ive been here but only reading. Vals passing has put me in a slump so not much to say really....AE, I wanted to thank you for posting Jens words from our Yahoo group here....I have printed them out and stuffed them away to read later as I think it is more than I can read right now.

As AE said, I have been busy on top of feeling blue....my friends daughters wedding was this past Saturday and I spent hours upon hours making her wedding cake!!!! Thankfully that is one thing done and off my list......

I hope you all a wonderful day

Jule

Anonymous

Thanks all for the wonderful words of encouragement. The move is postphoned for three weeks due to family members' schedules. It gives me time to do things at my own pace, though it is very hard to wait.

Mel, I've saved the picture with the poem. It fits. Thanks.

Karen, your dream of an apartment downtown is here waiting for you. My home is your home (when I get there). Years ago I had a funky little studio downtown where I escaped from the ravages of being a single mom to four teenagers. It saved my sanity. In fact, if you want to escape reality altogether, let me know and I'll spend a couple of days here with my son and get some quality Connor time. Think about it. Great photos from the relay. I'm proud of you and Portia.

Shirlann, your situation describes just what I've always dreamed of. It sounds like heaven. My fantasy has always been to have an apartment in downtown and a cottage on the beach at the ocean. I might add a cabin in the mountains, but don't want to be greedy.

AE, thank you thank you for the postings from Val's daughter. They are deeply moving. Let her know how much they meant to us here and that her mum's still spreading inspiration all around the world. The ripples of her life will continue to touch hundreds...perhaps thousands...of lives.  I especially loved the stories about the very human woman who had stinky feet and loved to write.

Nancy, how many will be at the reunion? Your bossy brother story is a stitch! Is he involved in planning the reunion? That would be interesting! The place I'm moving to has a very active community, lots of social events and interest groups. I've been wanting to join a book club and when I was at the library I saw that there are several that meet there. Perfect!

Anne, your time in the mountains sounds heavenly. Your energy and determination are inspiring and your descriptions always fascinating. It's wonderful that you and your husband enjoy this kind of time together. How much better can it get? Speaking of solstice, a funky neighborhood in Seattle has a fair every year to celebrate solstice. There is a parade and a sacred tradition of nude bicyclists crashing the parade. They paint their bodies and every year it gets better. Here's a link to photos of this year's event:

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/photos/popupV2.asp?subID=3877&page=1&gtitle=Fremont+Solstice+Parade&pubdate=6/21/2008

Sue! That table is gorgeous. I can't believe this is your first attempt. Great job. You, too, are welcome at my little place any old time. It's time to become a globetrotter, my dear.

SueBee, it sounds like you made a very reasonable decision. You must be in surgery or recently finished. I've been thinking of you and sending lots of healing energy your way. A slumber party with 8 9-year-old boys? Are you crazy, woman??? Actually boys that age are just about my favorite humans of all. There is something achingly adorable about boys that age, but your slumber party might be going a bit overboard even for me!

Oh, Jule...it's so good to hear from you. I'm sorry you're having a hard time, but I do understand. Comfort is hard to come by sometimes when you are broadsided like this. I do send caring and hugs and hope your heart begins to mend soon. You are a dear soul.

Judie

portiasproudmom

Thanks for the invite, Judie.  I'd love to come visit once you're in your new place.  You are the absolute sweetest--to offer the apartment as a getaway for me to have some alone time!  I'll let you know if things ever get that stressful for me around here.  You are the best!!!!

Love and hugs,

Karen

portiasproudmom

What do you guys think of the website's new look?  I think I'll like it once I get used to it.

Hope everyone's having a wonderful day.

Hugs,

Karen

portiasproudmom

Good to see you, Jule.  I'm sorry you're still feeling so sad.  Hang in there, sweetie!  We love you and are always here for you if you need to talk.

Love and hugs,

Karen

geebung

I arrived home late last night after spending a couple of days in Sydney, looking at sofas for our new cottage. I think we have almost decided on which ones to buy.

 I have just caught up on all the posts over the weekend. 

AE - thank you to you and to Jen for the touching words on Valsul. She must have been such a lovely person and this shows through in Jen's words - she sounds very much like her dear mother. 

Judie - it's so exciting about your move downtown. The library sounds fantastic! The art gallery also sounds wonderful. I can't wait to hear more and maybe see some pics!

Nancy - loved hearing about your garage sale and your bossy brother - it did make me laugh! I am sure it wasn't so funny at the time - brothers can be infuriating! At least you can live with yours - my brother and I are such opposites, that it would never work!

Ann - your week of camping and hiking sounds so great - what a wonderful interest to share with your husband.

Sue - I love your table - it looks so professional - you clever cookie! I hope I can do justice to mine. I hope the sun is shining again where you are.

Karen - doing the walk and staying up all night - wow! I hope you had a good sleep and are feeling good again. I love the photo of Portia and her friend. She is so pretty - lovely smile like her sweet mother.

Jule, I am sorry that you are sad but glad that you have been busy as it helps to get you through. The wedding cake sounds great - any pics? I would love to see it. 

Suebee - I am thinking of you. By the time you read this your sugeries will be over. Praying it all goes well for you.

.The sun is shining so I am planning to do some painting on the outside of the house today. Somebody here (Ithink it was you AE) asked if it was cold here. We've had a very mild start to winter. The silly mulberry tree has started getting fresh green leaves and flowering! However, the last few days, the rain has cleared up and the winds are from the south (cold!) so it is a bit chilly now - especially at night - I think we will get frosts soon. The mulberry will be shocked!

Well, must tip the warm purring kitten (I think I will call him Klaus or Claws) off my lap and get to work with my paintbrush.

Love to all I have mentioned and all I haven't.

Jane. xxx

  

geebung

Karen - for a moment I forgot abount the new-look site & thought I had mis-typed the address. It looks quite good to me but I would like to see a picture or an attractive symbol to give it more character. On the Australian forum we have a photo of a cute echidna with a pink ribbon above its snout as our little mascot.

geebung

Mmm, I am silly. The site does have a symbol - a chain in a circle so I had better retract my previous suggestion! We are the links in the chain, a chain is strong and each link supports the next. Yes, I think I like that - quite a nice symbol of the strength and resilience of the members here.

lvtwoqlt

Jane, I too like the new symbol and the looks of the new site. To me the chain looks like the DNA strands (double helix I think) and we are all joined together like a dna strand.

I need to get back to work, Just wanted to chime in on the new looks.

Sheila

livesstrong

Happy Belated Birthday Shirlann -

Hugs,

AE