2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

Anonymous

Mary,

Sorry to hear about Natalie's passing. Such a young life. What a waste! Billy Joel said, "Only the good die young..."


Michele,

Nothing special planned. I may pick up a friend to go to an outlet shopping place. It just happens to be close to a casino run by Native Americans. We may do lunch there... who knows, we may even put a few dollars in the slot machine.

debbie444

Laura - sorry about your mums friend , i am sure she will appreciate all you do, like you did when the roles were reversed.
On a positive note, my BiL does NOT have cancer!! He has to go back in 6 weeks as th eresults showed it was def not cancer, but also def not a cyst - they dont know what it is. He has said that if it is anything that could probably lead to cancer he will have the op anyway - all of his male relations in his dads line going back as far as anyone can remeber have died of stomach or other intestinal cancers so he is on the watch!
I have a leaving do at school today - my friend Helen is retiring after 19 years with us. She has had breast cancer twice, the second time she had a mastectomy with no other treatmenet and was back at her job with the infants inside 3 weeks. She has retired early as she wants some time with her family before she becomes a pensioner - you cant blame her. I will miss her - she was like Mary Poppins - you would have loved her - a cut glass British accent - how she kept that with our local accents i dont know.

ravdeb

Debbie..well THAT is good news about your BIL! I'm sure you will miss your friend Helen at work, but retirement...I wonder if WE will ever retire...

V... I'm thinking good thoughts about your labs and I'm glad you'll be hooked up to internet. don't forget to let me know your new e-mail address!

Mary-Anne..that's great news! I would go for the bone scan just to know you did all the tests you could.

Laura..I'm so sorry about your mom's friend. That sucks. Too much cancer and bad news these days... She will need your expertise. I know that my neighbor with lung cancer appreciates talking to somebody who has gone through cancer treatments. Unfortunately..we bond on this. But it's good support...

Amy..you are so romantic. I hope your relationship with your dh is always like that...forever. You will never be remembered as a tragedy, Amy. We all are going to die and we really can't choose when You are going to be remembered for your warmth and loving care you give to everybody who touches your life. You are an amazing, bright, mature young woman and I know that you love your life. We all have that fear and yes...it's unfair that you are so young and you have to deal with it now. But you are doing it with grace. You are a beautiful woman. That's what you will be remembered for.

I write things down in journals and I'm busily painting things here at home and I think it's because I want to leave something behind that my kids can hold onto it, read, keep..physical things. I don't know when I'm going to die. I often think it will be sooner than I had thought before I was diagnosed. But before my diagnosis I was making things and dating things and writing in my journals that I want my kids to know I have for after I die.

Is that morbid? Not sure. Yes..Mary's friend..it's tragic that she died so young but her friend will be remembered for what she did in her life and not for the tragic early death. And you will be remembered for all the things you have done and will be doing in your life. goodness...you are healthy and vibrant! Nothing tragic there!

I have a breast ultrasound this afternoon that I'm dreading. I feel like they will find something and I will know it right away since I get the results imediately. I think that's why I'm scared..the results will be right away and I won't be able to ignore it. It is probably because my lump became suspicious only at the ultrasound and I was send urgently to see a surgeon. Those thoughts are coming back to me. I'm so stressed anyway because of the holiday preparations and now I have this today.

I'll keep you all posted...

Have a good day, Friends...

ravdeb

Ladies..what do you all think about the news that has come out about breast MRIs? I think I want my surgeon to send me for that. What do you all think?

ake

deb, thanks for all your words. you keep me going, my friend. i'm so sorry you have to have this ultrasound today. i feel in my gut that it will be okay and then you will have full energy and excitement for the holdiay nothing but positive vibes coming from me and they're even bigger after reading your post...you just get it just because the other ultrasound wasn't good at diagnosis does not mean this one will be bad. and the results will be right there and you will be able to go home with a deep breath and a "whew, glad that's over!"

debbie....sooooo glad about your BIL. That's wonderful news!!!!

brenda.....you be careful on those slot machines, girlie

victoria...you better let us know asap what the results of your labwork are....still sending you positive non-estrogenic thoughts!!!

did anyone hear about sheryl crow? she is speaking to congresss repeatedly, demanding that funding for cancer research be increase and she is also asking for a special bill to be created which will look at enviornment and breast cancer. go girl!

have a good thursday, ladies.

RoseMarie

I must admit, Deb, I usually play catch up with the news so I haven't heard about the breast MRI's - no help on this end. GOOD LUCK on your ultrasound today!

I'm trying really hard to not have a freak out moment - I feel it coming - Ugh!! - It's times like now when I'm convinced I must still be ovulating - I've spent the last day and a half fighting back tears!
Btw, The genetic testing is going to cost me $750 out of pocket!!!!! Is that not nuts?!

MaryAnne - good news on all your results!
Debbie - yay - so glad your BIL is ok too!

I don't feel like going to the gym today...but, I'm going to make beds... and THEN I'm GOING to the gym!

Lots of love ladies!

marymelodi

Friends:
Here is a link to newspaper story about my young friend, Natalie. She will be forever missed. Fairport is my town, a suburb of Rochester, NY.

http://www.democratandchronicle.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070329/NEWS01/703290351

Mary

ravdeb

Well, Amy..your gut feeling was right. They didn't find anything in the ultrasound!!! Yahooooooooooo! She made me nervous though. She kept going over my scar area, was looking for it on my boob and comparing it to the screen, and then going over and over by my nipple. I don't ever remember any of this before. Of course, I may not have been as aware. When I had to lay on my side, I could see the screen and I swear I saw a lump. But, I guess it wasn't a lump. The report said that the area around the scar is not like the rest of the breast (can't think of the word in English at the moment) and could be because it's scar tissue. They can't say anything is for sure because then if it's not, they are in trouble. Then it said that I should continue to have follow ups with the doctor.

And when I asked if I could make an appt to have a spine and hip x-ray, they said I didn't need an appt and they could do it right then, so I got my x-rays in, too. Now I need to see the orthoped about those.

I was soooooooooo nervous about this ultra sound. But, it's over. I'm treating myself to a glass of dry white wine..my favorite. It won't help my cholesterol but it's good! Cheers!

ake

enjoy your wine, deb i'm glad it was a good appt. scar tissue is the best, isn't it? yahooooo!

TracyNY

I have a secret that I'm going to share. Every day for at least the past 22 years I have made note in a calendar of every outfit I wear!! I don't keep them, they get trashed when the year is over but I do it so that I can avoid wearing the same clothes in the same combinations on perhaps the same day of the week!

You all know you have a Friday outfit. That one piece black dress that you pull over your head and skate out of the door right quick! As a matter of fact, I bought a new one today, it is black with cream circles on it.

I am trying to squeeze that last wearing of the year out of my knee length suede Ferragamo black boots. I do look pretty fabulous today draped from head to toe in downtown Black.

I'm sorry some of us are experiencing tragedies. I pray for you even if I don't post about it, you all know I am just as shallow as the day is long and don't always care to comment on cancer talk.

Isn't it funny how as cold as it may be, suede just looks hot once April hits? I am willing my toenails to grow as I have a pair of Aigner thong sandals that I am aching to debut!!

Graycie

I just got home and if anyone is reading the post's turn on Oprah it is about BC. Very interesting......

Anonymous

TracyNY, you are wonderful!!! And I don't think you are shallow, your humor keeps me laughing!

TracySeattle

Hi All - Im home sick today with the flu...... UGH! I hate being sick. I slept until 1:30 and only got up because I had to cancel my reservation at Dinner's Ready tonight.

Mary - Natalie, her family and you are in my prayers. It's so sad.

Laura - I'm sorry to hear about Pip. She will be in my prayers too....

Deb - all that cleaning, I don't know where you find the energy.....

V - thinking of you and your moving. It will seem strange not to see you here as much. Hope Comcast comes to your area soon.

Well, I am headed back to bed. later.....

Anonymous

Hi Girls -

Thanks for the thoughts, prayers, encouragement. I really appreciate it.

Hmmmm...I have to think about what my secret is! I can't think of any...

Tracy -
Hope you feel better! Yuck - the flu!

Graycie -
I watched bits and pieces of Oprah this morning. It was surreal hearing her talk about the Mast...it was so similar to mine!

ravdeb -
If I didn't have the remaining breast removed, I was going to alternate...MRI and Mammo - every six months. But, I have seen girls here post that MRI missed their tumors. Nothing is a sure thing unfortunately. I think the verdict is split...

TaDah -
You are quite the Diva - I love it!

Anonymous

RoseMarie -
Are you feeling any better?

ake

tracy (tadah) your post made me smile so big. you're not shallow. you're definitely my reality testing when i'm having a meltdown to put it aside, move it along, and get going in my life. thanks for that...i hope you know how important your attitude is to me

here's another secret from me in relation to your outfits....i have so many clothes, i rarely wear the same thing twice in a year. how sick is that?

i just saw this wonderful thing on nbc nightly news. one of the reporters decided to "come out" about having been through breast cancer last year. her name is ann thompson. she wore a wig and had fantastic makeup and besides the close friends she had at the studio, no one knew she had breast cancer or was going through chemo. she decided to "come out" on the news tonight to show that even during her "year of living dangerously" as she called it, cancer does not take your life...you go to work, you spend time with friends, you can laugh, function, keep your sanity. it was such a positive message and i'm glad she did that. it's like october all over again with breast cancer being on the news 24/7 because of elizabeth edwards and freakin' **&&^%#@!! oprah (don't even get me started). but, it's nice to see someone show that life goes on...even with breast cancer!

just had a nice big bowl of pasta and now i'm getting ready to watch "survivor". i swear, i'm most likely the only person in america watching that crap! but i love it

maryannecb

My secret, I have hemmed pants with hospital tape.

Fists up!

ake

so funny! here's a totally embarassing secret....i still don't know how to hook my bra from the back. i have to hook it from the front and turn it around! i just can't figure it out

maryannecb

Me too. I even try to find front closure if possible.LOL.

Fists up!

Curlylocks

Good Evening my sisters,

Today was a wonderful sunny day and the evenings are getting longer, doesn’t get dark till around 8:00 p.m.

I made an appointment for tomorrow to get my “Kramer” hair trimmed and highlighted. I can hardly wait, I;m so excited that my hair is actually a good length to be able to do this!! Got my eyebrows waxed tonight so I’ll be all spiffed up for the weekend and my hubby is working.LOL.

Our countertop that was a 2 week special order came in early, it will be delivered on Monday, everything is falling into place nicely so far…

I received four bunches of dadodills today for the Canadian Cancer Society fundraiser which happens every March/April. They were all closed this morning when I received them and this afternoon before I left to come home from work they all opened up, they are so pretty.

Tomorrow is a vacation day for me and am looking so forward to sleeping in. My husband’s pager went off at 1:30 a.m. this morning for a house fire. He didn’t get home until 4:00 a.m. and was snoring like a trooper in the spare bedroom as I guess he didn’t want to wake me up again before my alarm went off for work. Poor guy was so wiped out and then he spent today working on the kitchen walls.

The news recommending the MRI’s for diagnosing bc is interesting. Here in Canada we don’t have very many MRI machines readily available and as a rule I don’t think it is the standard of care for bc. You usually have to wait a few months to get a mamo and ultrasound booked unless it is an emergency like when we were all first diagnosed. That is one huge drawback to our system here in Canada, although we don’t have to pay for many things, the technology seems to be far behind the U.S.

Yesterday I had a few strange pains in my affected breast and my mind started to go into overdrive thinking. I hear that it is quite common that the nerves regenerate over time after surgery and if you have radiation that can also affect it. It is fine today, thankfully….

Victoria – Omg you are funny wishing for a strong hotflash, well sister I have lots to give to you, all joking aside it sounds like your body is on the right track with your estrogen levels reducing. Fingers crossed on this one. I would be lost without our internet connection, after all it is my connection to all my wonderful sisters here!

Graycie – both my hubby and I saw Pursuit of Happiness at the theatre. We are strong movie buffs. Both loved it and since it was based on a true story, it makes it all the more powerful. Will Smith’s son is soooo cute in that movie.

Amy – lady bugs may be good luck but when they seem to infest in your window sills and sliding door they are yucky. We had that happen about three years ago but haven’t seen one in the house in the past few years just flies. Hey sister all of us have those fears and this is a good place to be able to express them. It is unfair that you have to deal with this so young but you are doing everything in your power to remain healthy. The rest is out of your control. I have good vibes that your treatment worked and you will be a proud mom one day. Encourage your client to get her lump checked out before she cant do anything about it if it is bc. Some people want to bury their heads and think it will all go away, I;m glad that I listened to that little voice in my head when I found my lump and knew it wasn’t going to be good news. That little voice saved my life!!

My hubby and I are both big survivor fans. I also have to admit that I have gotten sucked into watching The Bachelor too, it is so far fetched but an escape from reality….

Okay, Amy now you have me on the floor laughing….

Paula – the tamoxifen may be your culprit, hopefully it is not your thyroid, another issue to deal with….

Deb – are you taking a breather from cooking. What do you do with all the extra food that is left over? Aw deb, your lady bug story was so touching, the innocence of childhood…. Great news on the clear ultrasound and you didn’t have to wait on pins and needles.

Rosemarie – the temps have dropped here to seasonal around 8-9 degrees celcius but it is still sunny and bright which is the best part. How are you going to entertain the kids for spring break? I have the break out tears but know it is related entirely to the Zoladex injections and menopause.

Mary – you know your words ring true about telling family members you love them. My dad and I had a lot of issues when I was growing up but when he was diagnosed with gall bladder cancer 11 years ago the thought of loosing him seemed to dissolve the walls I had built up in our relationship with each other. We never did say I love you out loud but certainly showed it with our actions. Recently I was over at Mom;s and Dad’s and my Dad told me for the first time in my life that he loved me, what a feeling it was to actually hear him say those words. Our relationship today is very special and close. Thanks for the reminder.

Maryanne – congrats on great labs, what a relief!! I laughed at your secret that’s cute.

Laura – sorry to hear about your mom;s friend pip, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Brenda – have fun at the casino. Put a few dollars in for me. I enjoy the slots, last time we went was last year when we went to Vegas in April.

Debbie444 – yes, a celebration for your brother in law! What a relief for you!!

TracyNy – you would put me to shame in the fashion department. I am not a big clothes person but you seem to have fun with it so why not. I say do whatever makes us happy.

Tracyseattle – hope you feel better. All that moving has burnt you out, take care of yourself.

Have a super evening ladies.

Much love to all my dear sisters
Michele

Anonymous

I still can't think of a secret!

Is it possible I don't have any...NO that can't be possible...I swear my Tamoxifen/Chemo brain is really bad...


---------------------

TaDah -
I second Amy's words...you're attitude is very uplifting!

ake

michele...it's not my patient who has the lump...it was a "secret" in the book she gave me of all the postcards with secrets this guy, frank warren, received.

um, can i please tell you i'm obsessed with the bachelor and that it starts next week? the bachelor, survivor, america's next top model....my favorite trashy shows. and then i like work out, project runway, top chef as well

Graycie

Laura, I am right with you with the chemo brain. I can't think of a secret either but I join Amy and Maryanne with the Bra thing. My daughter can't believe I have to do it from the front and twist it around. I am glad I'm not the only one.

Maryanne, When I read your secret that you hemmed your pants with tape. At first I thought you wrote you had hemorrhoids......lol..I'm telling ya my brain's not all there.

Michele, Will Smith's son in the movie was adorable. Was that his real son? I have tomorrow off too and I can't wait. I also have pains in my breast sometimes. I did notice something, some of the feeling has come back on the back of my shoulder and under my arm. So maybe that is the nerve's regenerating.

Paula, I can't lose any weight either and I'm not on anything. The more I exercise the more the scale goes' up.How do ya figure? I was supposed to have blood work in Dec to have my thyroid checked and never went. I think I will call and make an appointment. My doctor said it was common for the thyroid to be affected by chemo.

Brenda, I hope you win.

Debbie, That is wonderful new's about your BIL.

TracyNY, That is funny. I have a lot of clothes but I have my favorite's and wouldn't think of throwing them out after a year except my BIG clothes. I love clothes but I refuse to buy any until I can get back to my old size if that is ever possible.

TracySeattle, Sorry you are sick. You probably ran yourself down from all the work you have been doing with the move. I hope you feel better soon.

V, I didn't know you were a nurse. Is your husband going with you and how long will you be in Africa?

Ravdeb, I don't envy you with all that cooking. I hate to cook.....Hey that might be my secret.....lol

Mary, I read the article on Natalie. She was such an active student and had so much to live for, it is so sad. Way too much for one family to have to go through.

At work yesterday I found out one of the ladies I work with has a second cancer reoccurrence. She had bone met's a couple years ago. I don't know the details, they were keeping it kind of hush hush which is fine with me. All I know is that she needed surgery and now she needs surgery again. I just hope they are able to help her.
I can't take much more of all this bad new's..

RoseMarie

Yes, feeling better, thanks!
It was another gorgeous day - highs in the mid 60's (F)so a bit chilly but beautiful.
A secret, hmmmmm....how about most embarrassing moment-the first time I ever got a massage I didn't know I was supposed to put the wrap around my upper body and I put it around my waist instead- I was SO uncomfortable knowing I was going to have to take off the robe...so when I took off the robe I stood there flashing my boobs to the lady that was to give me my massage until she told me to raise the wrap up....yeah, totally humiliating!!! Then she kept telling me how tense I was...she had NO IDEA!! Ugh - I still cringe!
Ok, off to watch something mindless on tv and hopefully get sleepy - Mike's gone until Sat! The positive side to that is that he's racking up ff miles and hotel points so at some point in the near future we're going on a nice, free, vacation!

Graycie

Rosemarie, OMG. lol How embarassing that must have been for you....Knowing me I wouldn't have known what to do either.

Anonymous

Africa? When is V going to Africa? How did I miss that?????

ravdeb

RoseMarie..I'm ROFL! OMG!!!! I have never had a massage because I'm too embarrassed to have one! Somebody told me that if I do it once, I'll want to do it again. But a male friend of mine took that advice and still doesn't like it. But..omg..I would not know what to do either! That is tooooo funny!

Tracy NY...you are what brings me good feelings. I love reading your posts and love reading about your house, the furniture and your clothes. You are NOT shallow. You have passions and I could sure use some tips on getting dressed up! I have that basic black dress you are talking about. I wore it to my neice's wedding last summer and my hair at that time was VERY, VERY short and curly (laura and rosemarie saw my hair!). My mom and I were on the phone and I told her that my hair is straight now and she said all she can remember is me walking in with the short curly hair and the black dress and everybody telling me I looked stunning! WOW! considering that I wear jeans ALL the time except when I go to temple, that is a new one for me. Nobody has ever told me I looked stunning. I should wear my black dress more often! And hey..I have black suede boots that would be "stunning" with it! I love you, Tracy NY..just the way you are. YOU are STUNNING!

Amy...I love your new avatar! You have so many clothes thatyou only wear each one twice a year! OMGOSH! I wear my jeans a few times a week and then throw them in the laundry and put them back on! I don't have enough closet space for all those clothes.

And..I can't hook my bra from the back either!!! But guess what...it's best to hook it from the front, turn it around and lift it up and then lift those boobies into place. It fits better that way.

I don't usually like to cook. I'm getting to like it better as the kids get older because they don't bother me anymore. I only do real cooking once or twice a week.

The leftovers that are not kosher for Passover...we store them. Anything that could spoil gets thrown out but I have to say, we are eating it all up. The transition between now and the holiday...not much food in the house. Enough to get by til Sat. night. Sunday we will probably eat out as I won't be preparing a thing for anyone then...it will be untouchable food til Monday night. It will just be my dh and younger son, anyway. Since my mother in law isn't cooking for the holiday or changing her kitchen, they will probably go there for some soup...she has started making soup all the time..it's like a soup kitchen over there. That's all she talks about..well..she talks about it a lot.

V... I miss you! Good luck with the move.

Tracy Seattle..Hope you feel better soon!!! Get some rest! Talk about busy! You haven't stopped since I "met" you!

Kelly..how are you and what is going on with that lump of yours??? I think about you all the time.

Mary..thoughts are with you...

and..to all the others here...

My secret..well, I have lots but one is that I'm hooked on The Bold and The Beautiful. I used to be worse. I would schedule my lessons I taught around the hour of the show so I wouldn't miss it. I'd be in a really rotten mood if a student insisted on coming when the show was on! I am now able to miss it and not feel as rotten.

ravdeb

Wanted to wish a Happy Pesach to my Jewish Sisters on our thread...Linda and Amy. It starts Monday evening but who knows when I'll get back on!

Anonymous

I love massages! When we were in MX, I had a two hour deep tissue massage under a palapa on the beach! It was awesome. (Although at first it was a little uncomfortable to lie flat on my chest because of the recent Mast.) A few years ago we went to the Sonoma Mission Inn & Spa while visiting northern CA wine countries (we also visited Roy's university - Chico). I booked 5 spa appts. and talked Roy into getting a facial. It was so funny! He reluctantly put on his sandals and the big fluffy, white terry robe provided by the spa, and left our room for his spa appt. I watched him from our patio. He looked adorable, but the sight of him walking away through the grounds with a robe and sandals on was hysterical! I couldn't stop laughing! But when he got back, I was pleasantly suprised...he had a big smile on his face...the technician told him he had very youthful, very healthy skin! He loved it! He even bought two relaxation cd's at their gift shop - the ones with sounds of waves at the ocean and wind chimes and flutes. LOL

ake

happy pesach to my jewish ladies too! ravdeb...try to get some rest in the midst of all your rushing during this holiday! i need to get matzoh....i absolutely love it. in college, when i had matzoh leftover from passover, we used to eat it when we came home drunk and put spray butter on it...how disgusting is that?