Starting Chemo in June 2005

Watson

Yippee Skippee Liz!

I"m right behind you! I'm jealous!

Happy Groundhogs Day, all.

Watson

LizFL

Thanks all! It feels so good to be done..Watson, you don't have long to go..it will go quickly.

I wonder what it will be like to actually have days or even weeks in a row with no doctor's appointments!!!! I see med/onc on Monday but then am free until the 17th for revisit to rad/onc.

LIFE IS GOOD!!!

Liz

JoMac

I was doing very well and then got sad and scared on Weds. I asked my husband to yell at me to "Snap out of it!" He tried but he was terrible at it we ended up cracking up instead.
So I wrote to No Surrendeer and she "learned me good" (as my daughter would say. She gave me a good lecture that I printed out for the next time I get that way.
I have been trying new recipes. I made lentil soup and salad dressing.
I plan to make a chinese stir fry that sounds good.
Like you Jenster I am reading
I am in the middle of CooK Off about cooking contests in america. They have the winning recipes printed and trust me the they are god awful.
I also took out Teri Garr 's(the actress ) book speedbumps,
The Year of magical Thinking and Lance Armstrongs latest book. I also have a mystery to read for my bookclub. So now I can sit in my new room I redecorated over Christmas time and read.
I also started painting again. I seem to be doing pictures of myself. Maybe to prove I am still here.
I want to do a big picture of clouds for my reading room.
Today we are driving up to my daughters college to take her out to lunch.
I never miss a chance to do that.
Oh...my Bill clinton hair is now a "Betty Boop". Women friends tell me I should keep it this way.
I think they are nutty.

Jenster

Lunch with your daughter sounds delightful, Jo. And you're painting ability is a gift. I'm glad to hear you're using it.

I've been reading a lot of fiction. Actually, everything I've been reading has been fiction. It's a very nice escape for me. I have some self-help books here or inspirational/motivational books, but they don't do a thing for me.

I did have to go to my family doctor yesterday because the thrush that I consistently had while going through Taxotere never completely cleared up and it has reared its ugly head again. Now it's in my throat and, well, EEEEWWWWWWW! So we're treating it very aggressively. No Magic Mouthwash for me. Just straight Nystatin swish and swallow. Which tastes a bit like bananas so it's not SO bad. And 7 days of Fluconizol (sp?). Hopefully this will nip it.

Hope you all have a GREAT Saturday and weekend. Any of you watching the Superbowl tomorrow? And if so, is it for the game or the commercials? lol.

Jen

NancyM

I had to have my fingerprints done last September for my teaching certificate. They sent them back this week, saying they couldn't identify enough ridges to verify they were my prints!



The problem is all the lines in the prints where my fingers still look cracked from the Taxol. I put lotion on 3 times in 45 minutes yesterday, and the tech still had to have me use Cornhusker's lotion before she could take the prints. And this is 5 months after the first set of prints were done! I hope the background check is quicker this time around - I don't want my program director to find out that technically I'm not "legal" in the school system!



Have any of you had a problem with cracks on your fingertips after Taxol? I am excited because my nails have finally grown out, so no more strange lines on the nail bed, no more warped or lifted nails! And I have both toenails almost grown back! Wah-hoo, who ever thought after cancer I'd be thrilled with toenails?



Jen, I'm not going to be watching the superbowl...I'm one of the people who think football is b o r i n g....



Oh, yeah! A woman at the post office said "I love your hair!"

I hope you all have a good weekend!!

JoMac

I am getting the hair compliments too. I have also started to wear lipstick for the first time in my life.
It makes me look less washed out.
I read the Year of Magical Thinking this week. It made me realize I have engaged in quite a lot of magical thinking myself. Some good and some bad.
Snap! (that was my rubberband).
This week is the first one with no Dr's appts. in months and months. I like that.
I have my large cloud picture to work on and at least three or four books to read.
It is nice to hear about how well everyone is doing.It is almost a year since my initial diagnosis.
Was there a life before cancer?
What in the world did I worry about?
I can't remember.

Watson

Hey Ladies!

I start my boosts tomorrow (7 total) and then you can stick me with a fork, cause I'll be done. I'm er/pr/her negative so nothing left.

I only watch the Super Bowl for the commercials. (and the snacks!)

Jo, I'm glad to hear you're doing better. I think you should rethink your book selections! Read those sprinkled in with a lot of fiction. Don't get bogged down in it! You're on the good side of all this.

I was at the grocery store today and a woman kept staring at me, I mean for a long while. I finally turned to her and said "BOO!" That startled her out of it and she walked away. Kinda devilish on my part, but hey!

Then a woman in the bread aisle tapped me on the shoulder. I thought, here we go again, probably "Oh, I so admire your bravery, blah blah blah," You wanna know what she asked?

"Which type of bread would you choose to hold dip?" I was so happy! A total stranger approached me about regular stuff! Jo, I now know what you mean about wanting to lick somebody! lol

Life is getting better~

Watson

rmmom

Nancy,I didn't have problems with my skin cracking on Taxol but I did with Adrimycin(sp). My nails are finally looking better but still not pretty. They are growing and the bad parts are peeling away. After a few weeks of normal brain my thinking is foggy again. Watching the superbowl last night I wanted to yell "hey he's traveling" to the guy with the ball. We had watched DD play basketball earlier in the day but STILL!!! At least I now know to not say a word until I"ve thought everything through twice....Decided I live in Camolot here-I live with SIR TALKS-ALOT, SIR GRUMPYPANTS, LADY MESSYPLACE AND LIT' WIZARD CHATTERBOX -maybe I can make story about them all and get someone to draw pictures LOL Makes life fun.
Bev

RebeccaH

It seems like it's been forever since I've been to the boards. I flew to VA to visit friends and had a wonderful time. It was my reward for getting through rads....plus, a friend is playing single mom while her husband is in Iraq. I had a blast.

I had wanted to get my hair cut before I left. Not b/c there's so much it needs to be cut, but b/c there are some wild stray hairs. Anyway, while I was in VA, a waitress came up to me and said, "I LOVE your hair cut." It made my day. Hard to believe how a stranger can make a compliment and it has validity compared to when the family says the same thing. When I returned, I went and had a trim. It looked like she was cutting a ton of hair, but when I got home, my husband couldn't tell it had been cut. So, now, I'm in the official growing out phase. It's still baby-fine, so I've decided it's probably best to wash it every other day.

My husband retired from the Air Force on Feb 2nd. It's been kinda hectic with family in staying with us. My mother almost put me over the edge. When she left, she said, "I'm glad things are looking up for you." WTF!!! I've never looked down!!! She made me SO mad! Thanks for the encouragement, mom!

Before the retirement, I went for my first follow-up appointment. The onc officially put me in remission. I am doing the happy dance, and my mind is slowly drifting away from thoughts of cancer. He said the 2 and 5 year points are the most critical since that's when a recurrance tends to be. I did ask about these stupid hot flashes, and he thinks I'll get my cycle back. I must say, I have been able to sleep through the night, but I'm sure it's because I'm exhausted, not because they aren't there!

Just keep your fingers crossed that a job will come for my husband. His dad was retired military, and for the first time in his 42 years, he doesn't have a clue. No one to tell him anything (except for me, but that's a given)...no meetings....no paperwork...no VIP visits. His first official interview is Feb 9th, so hopefully, it'll go well.
It's just as nerve wrecking as a cancer diagnosis!

Dana...as a scrapper, myself, congratulations on being published. I can't wait to see it! Make sure you let us know when it hits the bookstores.

Nancy...well, we have no excuses, now. Let's make a lunch date!

Congrats to all the other ladies who've made it through treatment. We are an awesome group!

NancyM

Watson - that is wonderful! I have also had people talk to me without staring at my head first, and I love it.



Bev, I love Sir Grumpypants and the rest of the names! You should write a childen's book, I think it would be awesome.



Rebecca, I have thought of calling you, and it would be fun to get together. Are you and your husband planning on staying in Utah?



I'm home with bronchitis today. The doctor even had to give me a nebulizer treatment to open things up so I could breathe. Maybe I shouldn't be working around little kids so soon after treatment...I don't want to keep getting sick. It's NO FUN! Wah!



I hope you are all doing well. I'm going to go back to bed and try to get better!

rmmom

wow-we've all seem to have disappeared here-moving on with our lives. That's a great thing:)
How short was anyone's hair when you went without hat in public-like say at funraiser luncheon I just went to?
My hair is still boy crew cut short so it is kinda cold to just go out but way to hot for wig anymore. Plus no curl-just lots of cowlicks EVERYWHERE LOL. So do you think I would less looks with my strange hair? OR is it better to wear BC hat and make them think about that appointment?
Curious
Bev

NancyM

Bev, my hair was barely covering my head when I first went without my wig - it was in December. The little hairs all kind of swirled forward (I know what you mean about those darn COWLICKS!!) and in front it was so white!

Now I think my hair looks like a very short style, but a style all the same. And I'm no longer feeling like people are looking at me, wondering. I'm free from hiding my head from society! I guess I got to a point where I cared more about my comfort than everyone elses.

It seems scoop neck tops and large earrings are very flattering to this hair length. (I think the scoop necks show off the length of the neck, very feminine). I have a friend with short hair who looks great in turtlenecks, but she's very thin (I still look like Uncle Fester in a turtleneck due to my Fester-like body...LOL!)

Hold your head up high, baby! You are chic!!! Go and knock 'em dead!

LizFL

I am really tired of wearing wigs...but still not brave enough to go out without at least a hat or hat with fringe bangs...and for work, I always wear a wig.

Nancy...I would feel comfortable with the length you have in your picture...as you said it's short, but has style to it. Right now I have a covering of my head, but there are still some "sparse" spots...and those swirls, etc. You grew from that to what you had since December? That gives me hope that in another month I will have enough. I do plan on doing some earring shopping!

Maybe I should wear a scoop neck and get earrings to match my rad tattoos. I have one annoying one that shows up if I wear jewelry. I tried putting on a pendant the other day...but still irritates my skin where I had rads. I have a lot of freckles on my chest...but this one tattoo seems larger than the others and is in a funny spot and so blue!. Tried darkening it with brow pencil...but it looked worse. Decided to not worry about it. I wasn't planning on entering any beauty contests before this, and I'm certainly not now! We should start a whole new style of cancer glam...bald, tattooed, nails a wreck and whatever! Everyone will just have to have one of the blue dots!

I do feel better each day now that treatement is over. I am awaiting my Arimidex (did mail prescription service) so I can get started on that. It is pretty nice not to have a gazillion doctors appointments lined up. Almost feels like I'm on vacation!

Hope all are doing well.

Liz

NancyM

Liz, you are so right about starting cancer glam! I love the idea!! In fact, that would make an awesome T-shirt. "Chemo Glam" spelled out in rhinestones would be really cute. And "Got Blue Tats?" Ha ha... Things like that, and "Are You Dancing With NED?" would be fun for those of us who know what these things mean!

Here is Dec. 29 and Feb. 11, so about 6 weeks of growth. Note lack of improvement in double chin. Also note that our cat STILL tries to groom my head if I hold still long enough! It's not real hair if your cat still thinks you are a critter...

NancyM

Oh, that's kind of fun now that I figured out how to use photobucket.com and the image thingy on my computer. So here's my hubby and I when we went to see my son last month:







Are you sick of my face yet? LOL~~

LizFL

Nancy...aww...sweet pic of you and DH! My hair isn't at your December look yet, so I guess I have a bit longer to go. Mine is coming in darker than my natural hair...so he sparse spots show more. At least it is evening out...I was worried I'd end up with some bald spots. Guess I'll have to be a little more patient!

How bout.."Rad Tats Rock" on a tee? I've decided to view my tattoos as marks of courage that I made it through all this and be proud of them instead of hiding them. Now if I can only get braver with my hair...the wig thing is getting really old!

Liz

Watson

Nancy,
Put on your sash, girl. You just won "Miss BC Hottie of 2006!"
My hair is coming in just like yours, same color and all. It would probably be as long if not longer than yours if I hadn't reshaved my head midway through taxotere. It was shedding and making me crazy.

Forget dancing with NED, I wanna make a shirt that says "I'm SLEEPING with NED!" lol

No fair, I didn't get tats.

Watson

Jenster

I'M SLEEPING WITH NED!! I love it!! lol. I don't have any tats either, Watson. Though I'm thinking of getting a pink ribbon tattoo on the inside of my left ankle. Haven't decided 100% yet. I guess that would have to do.

Nancy - Your pictures are great! Not tired of your mug yet. I have the exact same hair style as you. I've had a couple of trims and each one gets more exciting because there's more of a neckline to actually cut! It's the little things in life, you know.

Our house still hasn't sold. I was pretty depressed about it a couple of weeks ago - much more depressed than I ever was about BC and everything that goes with it. Isn't that weird? Anyway, I'm okay with it now. The kids and I are going to spend the entire week of Spring Break in PA with my husband and he's taking that week off. So if we're stuck in this situation for a couple more months, I guess I can handle it. Not much choice, is there?

Part of my problem, I think, was that I can't get on with my life, i.e., reconstruction, until after we get settled up in PA. I really wanted to do that this spring, but now it's looking like it will be fall before I get to it. Oh well. Eventually I'll have a matching set of perky boobs. I've waited 40 years for them. I suppose I can wait a few more months! lol

Hope you all are staying warm!

Jen

Watson

Hey all,
Tomorrow is my last rad treatment! I think I was the caboose of this June 2005 train and now I'll be done. I"m er/pr/her negative, so this is TRULY it for me.

While I'm happy for my treatment finally being done, it's a bittersweet time because my mom just found out that her f'ing melanoma is back. Sucks big time, huh?

Anyhoo, be happy for me and pray for my mom.

Watson

JoMac

Life goes on doesn't it. I find myself happy and sad at the same time. I seem to be feeling everything in a larger way.
I have my good and bad moments. I think in a not so good way I expect to hear more bad news. Not always about me but about others too.
I have been told to cut it out.
I am trying with my rubber band trick and staying as busy as possible.
I really shouldn't feel gloomy and yet......
Now on the day to day side of things. I am grateful to be on Arimidix. It is giving my the belly I have read about on other threads.
Darn.
Oh....I found a neat website . It was previewed on the Real Simple program on PBS last weekend.
It is called..circusofcancer.org
One more thing...I was watching the pairs skating last night at the Olympics and one of the women had been treated for lung cancer. she had chemo therapy about five years ago and now she is up in the air competing for the gold.
Well...that is impressive.
I guess I better get of the pity party and get training for what ever comes next.
Nancy...I love the pictures ..keep them coming,
Jenster ...that darn house has got to sell soon.
Watson....I am so glad you are done and hope your Mom gets better.

JoMac

Today I have to go to the doctor to have a spot looked at that has developed on my back. It was a lump and now it is just an angry red spot. It was in the radiation field so I will have it checked out and have my yearly pap test at the same time.
It feels weird to go to the regular doctor about regular stuff.
The waiting room is the same though.
Oh well...for some reason I feel more optomistic today.

Jenster

Jo - Maybe you're more optimistic because this is a normal thing that normal people do for normal reasons? Whatever the case, I'm glad it's a better day for you.

I know what you mean about a regular doctor. I'm going to see my gynecologist on Friday for my yearly checkup. No big deal. lol.

Jen

rmmom

Jo I visited the web site you told us about-it IS good.
More blood work Monday-everything was fine. Been working with kindergartener's teachers, seems he may have a learning problem and we get to have all kinds of testing done. - Guess I can let go of the guilt I felt about not working with him as much. Poor kid, this is hard for him as I know from the oldest son, teachers love the middle of road kid the best. I had to fight tooth and nail because he always knew the anwsers. It took him a long time to learn to wait until at least one other person tried before answering. At least now in college they really do know and he can relax in that bit. LOL but of course he is his father's son. DH comes home every night saying I know everything-it is so hard knowing evrything LOL I nod and smile because I know we women know more:)
Smiles and hugs
BEv

JoMac

Yes, Jenster....I think you are right.Doing something normal makes me feel normal. hum......
So what else can I do to feel more normal more of the time?
Have any of you adjusted your expectations after reading about how low fat diets probably don't matter as much as we have been led to believe?
I feel relieved.
I made my husband a Dr's appt. I have never done this before. I figure one of us better be O.K. for our daughter in the future.
He hasn't seen a Dr. in over ten years.
He gave me a look when I told him I had done it.
I told him I will be taking him to the Dr's for a change.
We just keep having the "funnest dates".
I am glad he didn't say "No". If he had I would have called him a "chicken " after my having to go through all the doctor stuff this year.
I would have won the argument. But I am glad we didn't have a disagreement.
Whew! The power of Towanda in action.

LizFL

Hi all...see everyone is moving along. Jen, I do hope your house sells soon. You do a great job of making lemonade out of lemons! I saw rad/onc for follow up yesterday and now I don't have to go back for 3 months. Unfortunately, I have some swelling under my arm that doesn't go down so I am being referred for a lymphedema assessment. I was really bummed because I wanted so badly to be done...but I'm getting over it.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend.

Liz

JoMac

It does seem like with every "all clear" there is still something to check out. My latest was a yearly pap test and a "look see" at some growths on my back where the radiation burned.
Everything seems to be O.K. Then I looked at the calendar and darned if another mammogram isn't coming up in a couple of weeks.
One good thing......I forgot about cancer long enough at the regular Dr. that I had her take my blood pressure on the wrong arm. Only after she started pumping it up I felt the pain and I thought "uh oh". so she stopped and apologized and we moved to the other arm.
I can't believe I was the one to forget to give her the heads up on this.
Strange.

Analemma

I'm going to try to do this.....



Wow, now how do I make it smaller?

Anyway, this is Annabelle, born Feb.1. Grandchild #5, four of which are girls! (And I have four sons)

I've been really busy getting art show applications ready. I guess this means I expect to be alive this summer...

Also, remember how I've been complaining about my knee? I finally went to the ortho, he recommended PT, which didn't help at all. Finally he prescribed an MRI, which showed a torn meniscus. I TOLD him that's what I had the first day I went in! So, surgery on Wednesday. I'm really feeling good about it, because it's been such a bummer not being able to get around very well all winter, especially missing months of Jazzercise! I'm going to play around with this photobucket.com and get some pottery up soon. It's getting harder to go back to the BC pages as regular life gets busier. That's a good thing.

Brenda

JoMac

Great picture Brenda. What a perfect little baby.
Your hair looks like a normal persons. I am sorry you have to have surgery.
After everything else.
On another note. I am glad to hear you are signing up for art shows.
I don't know if I will be doing that or not.
I have all the applications here. I just look at them.
I am painting pictures of my husband, daughter and myself. So they are very personal. I wouldn't want to show them or sell them.
I still come to this board. I kind of want to move on and not come here but I like a magnet I get the pull to come back and check in.
I think this is because although regular life is taking over I am isolated and need to hear that others are in the same place.
One more thing.....I so want to live long enough to be a grandmother.....and you have done is five times.
I have grandchild envy. Is that a Freudian thing?

Analemma

Thanks, Jo. I so rarely take a photo that I will share, but I liked this one, whan Annabelle was just a few minutes old. I used to think, morbidly, when I was a young mother, that the worst thing would be to die before my children were grown up. Now I think of all the "wisdom" I have gained the hard way, that I really want to share with my grandchildren. I don't know if I'll ever feel like I've finished.

Art shows - well, I think every little commitment makes us stop and think after last year's experience. But, if I don't do the things that make my life meaningful, then it was all in vain anyway, don't you think? Besides, having the deadlines is a way to focus on something external, and motivate myself. I'm just going to behave as though this thing is finished, and if it comes back, we'll pull out the ammo again!

As an aside, we fell in love with Vermont last fall, and talk a lot about moving there one day. Maybe if we ever retire, or maybe if Greg's job situation changes. It would probably be in the southwest part of the state - we just love the Bennington area.

JoMac

Vermont is a very special place.
The winters are long but the summers are worth it.
I do agree with you about continuing on with art plans.
In a rare moment of just plain craziness. I wrote to the tax office and cancelled my license.
That was "nutty". I will call them tomorrow and have it re-issued. I may not be showing but I am painting and maybe I will be doing more in the future.
so far that is the only real "giving upping" thing I have done.
Did I tell you I have started to wear lipstick for the first time in my life?
Yesterday I organized all my tupperwear containers. I had tons of them. Anything without a lid went in the trash and now they are all neat and tidy and I can find what I need instantly.
Boy...that task made me feel great.
It had a beginning a middle and an end.
No complications!
So now I am looking for a new thing to organize .......
At least my house is looking fabulous.