Starting Chemo in June 2005

LizFL

Jen...I'm picturing you sitting there by the phone with your feet up and a big smile on your face for accomplishing all you have. Hope the house sells quickly!

Jo...I hope you are enjoying your new reading room. Having a place to mellow out is a good idea.

Bev...that's wonderful that you got to sub and it went well.

Rads are moving along, 18 down and 12 to go. I can't wait until they are done and I can get past the treatment stage. It will be nice to only have an occasional doctor's appointment!

Have a good weekend everyone!

Liz

Analemma

It's good that everyone seems to be coming out the other side ok. I feel sort of like a phoenix.

I have lots of hair and get compliments on my short style a lot. The weight I've gained - well, that's going to take some effort. But, all in good time. And glad we've got the time!

Grandchild #5 is due in less than two weeks. Life goes on...

JoMac

My reading room is complete. I am waiting for the delivery of the big comfy chair. The ottoman is already here. Everytime I see myself in th big mirror I say "lucky girl". I am starting to believe it.
I go to the oncologist on Weds. That is my only scary thing this week. I have a comission to do so I guess I am going to try to paint.
Nothing like a "have to" to get me going.
I can hardly remember how. My husband says I should just start and it will come back to me.
I hope so.

Watson

LOL!

Isn't it wonderful that our conversations have switched to HAIR! Much better than "feeling like crap" talk.



My mom used to stick a bow on my head using Karo syrup. I probably had ants crawling on my head!



I may have posted this before, but I'm moving out of my office and will be working at home , so when I was cleaning out my desk, I came across all these hair clips. We laughed and laughed. My boss even clipped one to my baseball cap.



I think I'll go get a nice new comb/brush set today and make a shrine. lol



Take care!

(8 rads down, 22 to go)



Watson

LizFL

My husband has started calling me fuzzy, because my head is getting fuzzier every day. I am actually able to put a bit of mascara on my skimpy lashes now. What is strange is that I've always had dark, bushy brows and dark lashes, while my hair is much lighter. My hair is coming in dark and my brows and lashes light. I didn't think I'd want to go without a wig until my hair was at least chin length, but now I'm planning to go au naturale as soon as I have a full head covering of some fuzzy stuff.



Having some "crispy critter" problems with rads, but I have 19 down and 11 to go.



Liz

rmmom

Watson and Liz we're counting rads with you. We should have a big party when everyone is done:)
Have to tell what my little boy said Saturday. I was reading the paper with DH when my six year old noticed my bare head and piped "Holy Cow, Holy Cow Dad! Did you see mom's head, she looks like something the dogs chase." LOL we laughed until we cried. Turned out he meant a squirrel but now when I have bad hair days in the future I will remember that line LOL. Geuss I can't go out hat less yet-don't wnat dogs chasing me:)
Hope everyone is well
Bev
Brenda-we had sun in Akron today-how about Cleveland?

Scout

I started walking on a treadmill the week before Christmas and I was up to a 50 minute brisk walk every day! My ankle started hurting and now I can't walk until I see the P/T. I'm soooo mad! But, my clothes feel better so I'm hoping this "glitch" is a quick one. I hurt my rt ankle last year about this time. I had a big bone bruise (MRI) and some torn cartilidge (sp). I wore a lovely boot for several weeks and then the dr gave me a cortisone shot...which worked! So.....I'm hoping this is all I will need now, but I figured a P/T will be able to see if I'm walking properly and what may be the problem. The only other choise (I had last year) was surgery...and you all know I've had way too many of these! Keep your fingers crossed that I won't have to...I see the P/T this Monday.
Other than this, I have been busy planting all my seeds. No new pictures, but if you are interested in winter sowing, you can look through my album.
Hope everyone is feeling great!
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/shoeforyou...m/ph//my_photos

Analemma

Scout, I really enjoyed your photos of your garden last summer! It's so gray here, that it's really inspirational to see pictures of a summer garden, and be able to look forward to it. Where are you located?

Oh, yes, Bev. We had sun Sunday and Monday, after a nasty Saturday. We keep saying we're going to go see Harry Potter before it goes away, but the last two Sunday afternoons it's been nice, and we can't stand the thought of being in a dark theater while it's sunny in January.

Jenster

Holy Cow, Bev! That's so funny!!

I took the kids over to Weatherford to see my sister and assorted nephews, nephews' wives and great nephews. We went to the Fort Wort Zoo on Saturday and it was gorgeous. We couldn't have asked for better weather. It felt so good to be outside in the sunshine with a sweatshirt tied around my waist "just in case". And we were so glad we picked Saturday because Sunday was pretty blah.

The best part was watching my 14-month great nephew "walk" on his hands and feet like a monkey man. It was hysterical.

The second best part was getting the most delicious Mexican food. I don't know if it was truly the best food ever, or if it was the knowlege that I would be starting Weight Watchers when I got back. But I started W.W. this morning and so far I haven't blown it!! Yippy for me!!

I'm going into town this morning to get fitted for a compression sleeve so I can fly. In an airplane. I don't believe a compression sleeve will actually help me fly. lol.

The house is still for sale, though we've had lots of people look at it and about three different families say they're interested in it. Forget interest, Baby! Show me the money! The kids and I got home from Fort Worth yesterday and were all kicked back, watching TV, when they called about showing the house. So we packed the car back up with everything we hadn't put up yet and left. Then when we got home the agent had locked the garage door and I didn't have the key. I had to call our Realtor to come let us in our own house. Poor Taylor. He had to pee so bad he ended up going in the backyard, in the rain, and peeing off the edge of the deck. (How's that for a visual?) All the while Katie was complaining that she wished she was as conveniently equipped because she had to go, too.

Anyway, it was nice to have a little trip away with very little, if any, focus on cancer. I think I like this!

danahollis

Hi girlies!

Remember that scrapbook page I mentioned? It's getting PUBLISHED in a book called "Reality Scrapbook" by Memory Makers. I'm very excited and nervous to show the "world" all my bald glory! But... LOL!... I know you gals will appreciate it so basically... I did it for you!

Anyhow... it sure is nice to read all this normalish kind of chatter. I like to see that we're all moving forward from a very difficult 2005.

Hugs to you all!

Dana

Jenster

Very cool, Dana!!! When is it going to be published??

Jen

Analemma

Jen, so funny. I want a compression sleeve so I can fly, too!
I joined Weight Watchers and tomorrow makes three weeks (actually a little over two, since I joined on Friday before New Years and started on the second). I've only lost 7 pounds. It sure does come off slower than it did 20 years ago! But, I'm being good. I'd really like to lose all the weight I need to, for once! That would make for a summer 2006 that is the polar opposite of '05.

Already I'm thinking of gardening. One problem, remember the new lab puppy, Molly? She will only go potty in the flower beds, or under the porch. What will I do? The flower beds are in the front, but if I put her out in the back, she goes under the porch, and it's a great big porch. I'm just imagining sitting on the porch drinking wine and smelling dogshit next summer! Any suggestions?

Watson

Brenda,
Drink enough wine so that you won't care!

Watson (who is sorry that she is actually no help at all )

LizFL

Brenda...congratulations on the weight loss...7 lbs. is great! My SIL went to WW before her daughter's wedding and I can't believe how much weight she lost. I tried that and Curves a few years ago, but didn't stick with it.



I have lost weight since I got diagnosed...about 20 lbs., would love to lose another 20! At least I got something good out of all this crap.



Only 8 more rads to go!



Watson...you are a hoot...you just crack me up!



Liz

NancyM

Hi ladies, I hope you are all well!

I noticed the other day that I no longer think about bc "all the time," and it's such a relief to feel this way! I went out with a friend of mine Saturday night, and I had a good time. It was nice, feeling so normal!

The trip to California was good, but I didn't get to see my grandson. Oh, that broke my heart!! I won't go into it here, but the ex-wife and her family have ISSUES!!!! To keep a woman who just finished chemo from seeing a 3 year old grandchild...so heartless! Just to prove they have money and power! But I got to see my son, and he is so wonderful. He's been through so much.

Well, I better get to work. I'm thinking of you guys, take care!

Watson

Nancy,
I am sorry to hear that you were denied a visit. I hate that your grandson is missing out on spending time with a great lady like you!

And I'm digging the hairdo! I'm jealous. I still look like an emu.

You look fabulous.

Watson

JoMac

Nancy you look great.
I am waiting for blood test results. then I have an ultra sound coming up on Thurs. So I am pretty nervous.
I want the results of these tests and I need them to be O.K.
In the meantime Iam reading When things Fall apart. I am trying to practice the art of NOT thinking. It is hard. It is like asking a puppy not to wag his tail.
Oh well....I will try.
I rearranged all the furniture downstairs and finished making my old studio into a library room.
All of that kept me busy for days.
Now I am looking for projects.
I did finish a small comission. It felt good to paint again.
It was suprisingly easy.
Now I am starting my healthy eating in a serious way.
I didn't gain or loose weight during treatment.
I don't have weight issues, but I do have a sweet tooth.
baking and eating cookies makes me happy.
OH and Dana, congrats.....that is exciting news.

rmmom

I was just thinking how much I miss the chatter here:( We seem to be moving past so much of this. I still think of all you and you're in my prays but it is like we've left the ocean and are standing on the beach now.
Dana, so happy about your book! And Jo can you come here me with my house? Please? I can't do a thing with it. DH and I have very different ideas about decorating. Before my surgery last year I left the house with a boy's dormroom comforter on the bed. He surprised me with a striped beige thing when I came back-It was a big step up from the boy thing!
I love Nancy's hair too. My little boy keeps rubbing mine. He crawled in bed this morning and just rubbed and rubbed in this half asleep state. He is being so sweet-I want to bottle him up before he hits all those stages I survived before. I DO want to let him grow but it is so nice now.
Thinking of all you and imagining the tulips:)
Bev

Watson

Hi Bev,
I check in to see if anyone's posted as well. That is so sweet of your little boy. I always ask my 7 yr old son which hair on my head is the longest. (It's really just a ploy to have my head rubbed ). He finally told me the other night that my hair isn't getting longer, it's just getting taller! lol It's true. I am still in the emu stage.

Glad to see everyone has better things that to live on this site.

I am 17 rads into a 30 rad treatment. Doing well so far!

Ta Ta!

Watson

JoMac

My hair currently looks like Bill Clinton's. I had my ulta sound this morning. It showed scar tissue and a cyst. I will be rechecked in six months. I am going to assume my bloodtests were O.K. since I haven't heard any thing different.
I put a rubberband on my wrist. When I start "thinking" about cancer I give it a snap and then breathe out the fear with a deep exhale.
So this morning in the waiting room I was snapping and puffing. But right now I am O.K.
I didn't feel a need to explain. I am sure they have seen it all before and I had over an hour to wait they were all backed up.
Now I am tired and plan to nap and listen to some calming music.
I guess I was in the water this morning and back on the beach this afternoon.

NancyM

Jo, I'm glad your u/s only showed a cyst. I hope it will go away!!!!

I went to a conference yesterday (about aggressive kids in the classroom) and there was a lot of good information about giving these kids self-esteem. I learned some good things that we can use! (This is from Loving Guidance Inc. and they have a website: www.consciousdiscipline.com)

Like Jo did, taking a deep breath neutralizes stress. Adrenaline blocks seratonin (the feel good hormone) and deep breathing allows the seratonin to flow again. Write down one thing you know you can accomplish during the day. After you have done the thing, you will get a surge of seratonin because you accomplished the task.

To release stress you can do something called the Drain (and young kids can learn this, too.) You make a fist with your hands, then tense up your arms (hold them up in front of you), and tense your shoulders and face. Then open the "drain" (your hands) and go "whooosh!" You will feel so relaxed!

STAR stands for Stop! Take a deep breath And Relax. You can put star shapes around to remind you to do this several times a day. The presenter said you need to do something about 2000 times for the neurons to be fully mylenated so the deep breathing will really make that "relaxation" a reflex.

Look for preciousness - believe in wishing wellness to others (we already do that here, I already knew this!) To demonstrate the power of intention, she had us tie a string to a metal washer, then hold the string between our thumbs as we rested our elbows on the table. The washer was dangling about 2" from the table. She told us to think of the washer going back and forth, then think of stopping the washer, then think of it going side to side. IT WORKED... it was so freaky! If you get a chance, you should try it.

She also showed an experiment her daughter did with 2 identical plants. One was labeled "precious" and the other "ugly." Same sunlight, same water, etc. but the daughter thought good thoughts as she watered the first and hateful thoughts with the second plant. In 28 days there was a significant difference in the plants, as the "ugly" one looked much smaller and was kind of weak looking.

How many times have we thought "ugly" about ourselves these past few months? We need to start thinking "precious" and "brilliant" ALL THE TIME!!!

So, it all related to the aggressive kids because of their perspective in life and how we perceive their behavior, etc. Well, I'm off to day 2 of the conference. I am not trying to "sell" the program or leak copywrited info...I just want to pass on what I think is good information and give credit to the company.

Love you guys!

rmmom

Jo the other day I went to plastic surgeon and it was PACKED I wasn't worried until some lady said she had been waiting over a hour and a half! I ran to the front desk begging to change the appointment so my kindergartener wouldn't get off the bus alone. My 16 year old couldn't understand why I didn't just give his little brother a key to the house! LOL could you imagine!
Nancy I think I have had similar conferences for preschoolers. I like using pretend balloons and pretend bubble gum to get them to breathe deeply. We pretend the balloons float up to the ceiling. The children think I am doing it for them but it calms me down and I can deal with them. My own kids however, have caught on and roll their eyes and walk away which calms everything anyway;) I like those conferences though.
Take care everyone.
How are you Dana and Jen?
Bev

Jenster

Hi ladies!

Great strategies, Jo, Bev & Nancy.

I feel like I'm hardly ever home anymore. The house is still for sale and it's showing like crazy. Yesterday it showed three times! So I'm now spending a lot of time at the library reading. I used to be an obsessed reader - sometimes reading a book a day. I usually averaged about 4 books a week. But after diagnosis, surgery, treatment, etc. I lost my love of books. However, I'm happy to report that it's coming back. So I almost look forward to having to leave the house so it can show. I'm getting tons of reading done with NO guilt!!

I also got my hair cut today. It's gotten very thick and it's only about an inch long all over, but it's going to be wiley! I tried spiking it yesterday, but didn't do such a good job of it.

Well I'd better do my run through the house before I leave. There's another showing in about 30 minutes. Wish me luck, ladies!!

Jen

LizFL

Jen...I had the same thing with reading...I am an avid reader but couldn't seem to get into it while under treatment. It's good to be able to enjoy it again.

Nancy...your hair looks great! Mine is growing so slowly, but at least it's finally growing. Eyelashes are coming back but brows are weird! Sorry to hear that you did not get to see your grandson..it is very sad that someone would use a child in that way.

Bev...your little boy sounds so sweet and adorable! That is such a warm fuzzy story!

Jo...great news that the u/s was good! I had a six month one in November, so I guess April will be rolling around quicker than I thought. All these tests do get tiresome.

I am almost finished with rads...4 to go. I have been having back problems and had to have a bone scan...got the results in one day thanks to a great nurse and it was normal...that was a relief! I got the bad news that I need surgery as I have a displaced and collapsed disc that is pressing on a root nerve. I'm not happy about having to deal with this before I even finish treatment...but better surgery than bone mets. I just will have to postpone celebrating a bit. My gut feeling was that the scan would be ok...but that nasty little fear thing did flare up. I am learning to cope with it by realizing that it's out of my control and getting myself all worked up will not change whatever is to be. I am finding that I am gaining more inner peace as time goes on.

Hope some of the other ladies check in and let us know how they are doing.

Liz

Fi_in_oz

Happy hello's ladies

I remember back in the early days of all this I decided to live minute by minute, then hour by hour, followed by day by day, week by week, hoping to eventually get to month by month and year by year.

The wall in front of me seemed unclimb'able (if there is such a word).

It occurred to me today, i'm in month by month now, and in a few more months (may = 1 year anniversary tests time) I hope my life will then go back to year by year.

Its like having my head finally at the top of the wall, and just a few more chin up's and I'll finally be able to see the view of years ahead.

My son and I are planning and "saving" for a return trip to Lord Howe Island, I took him there last April when I knew I had cancer but didn't know much more, there's more hiking to be done, therefore I have incentive to get my fitness back again after months of struggling to even walk down a set of stairs.......

Finally, Finally, there are precious precious moments in my life as I make plans for the future.

Damn if only I could bottle this feeling for a tonic when the nerves set in in May.

But I can't, so I thought I'd share them at least with you lovely ladies.

Wish me luck for Wednesday as its my first day back at work... finally.... I can't wait to have an income again,..

Fi,... enjoying the happy days.... (stumbling and stubbling my toes cause my feet are still cactis isn't even going to get me down today).

rmmom

Fi
It is so good to hear from you again. I was thinking of you and scout. Wondering how you were doing. I am so glad things are going better.
I went out with just my baseball cap today. Funny when I was completely bald and wearing it I didn't have anyone talk to me much but today I heard stories, including an eight year survivor. Guess if you look like you are pulling through people can look at you?? I'll have to remember that lesson for the future.
Get to sub again tomorrow:) With the wee guys-they're too cute but I need to get to know them as some of them are already signed up for my class in the fall. The wonderful glorious fall:)
Hope everyone is well and happy(my MSU son always signs his e-mail like that)
Hugs
Bev

Jenster

I bought real shampoo and conditioner today. lol. I can't wait to use it tomorrow!! I've been using Burt's Bees Wax Rosemary and Mind Shampoo bar - which is really cool. But I'm hoping if I use shampoo and conditioner, like I used to, my hair will behave better. Wishful thinking, I'm sure.

I also have been doing Weight Watchers for two weeks and have lost 8 pounds. I'm very happy about that, but 8 pounds isn't very much in the grand scheme of things. I remember (a long time ago) losing 8 pounds used to be HUGE! Like most of the weight I needed to lose. lol. Oh well.

AND, the house still hasn't sold. Okay. So it's only been three weeks. But I wanted it sold yesterday. It's still showing nearly every day, sometimes two or three times a day. Our Realtor has talked to the other agents and they all have positive things to say - in fact they seem to be surprised that it hasn't sold yet. Lot of good that does me! **sigh** I know God works everything in His time and His time is perfect. I just wish He'd send me the memo. lol.

And I'm still reading. A LOT! I've read four books in the past week. I love it! Of course, I'm also ignoring my family. But I think my husband is so happy to see me back to my old self that he doesn't mind being ignored.

It's good to hear everyone else doing well. Fi - you sound great! Your upcoming vacation sounds amazing.

And Bev - your teaching sounds fun. I have so much admiration for those of you in the teaching profession. My mom was a preschool teacher for years and, unfortunately, I did not get her patience for children. Even though they can be sooooo funny!

Alright. I guess I'd best get back to my family. DH flies back to PA tomorrow morning. He's starting to get really tired of airports - poor thing. I'm not sure who will be happier when the rest of us get moved up there. Him or me.

Jen

LizFL

Jen, hope your house sells soon...with all those lookers, you should have a buyer before long.

Today is my last day for radiation treatments YAY!!!!!!!! My life has been so upside down this past year it will be wonderful to start getting back on track. Finishing rads seems to me a big step in that direction.

Liz

Jenster

GO LIZ!!

Jen

rmmom

LIZ!
(and lots of balloons)