Starting Chemo in June 2005

Jenster

What a great picture, Brenda! Of both you and that precious baby. Thank you so much for sharing. As an aside - my parents had three girls. Their three girls had 9 boys and finally I got the only girl and the baby of the family to boot. Can you say SPOILED!?

I hope you knock them all off their socks with the art shows this summer!!! And good luck with your knee surgery on Wednesday. I'll be sure and keep you in my prayers. Let us know how it went as soon as you can.

Jen

PS - LOVE the hair!! It looks so stylish!

Jenster

Jo - when we were trying to get the house ready for listing back in December/January, I cleaned out, organized, gave away, packed up, etc. It felt so good because it was such a normal activity and I kept forgetting about my other issues.

You have the gift of creating beautiful art. It's been obvious for the last several months that it is such a big part of you. So go for it! Paint your little heart out! Just keep it up.

As for me, I can impress very young children with my drawing abilities and that's about it. lol. I do LOVE to write, though. While I was going through chemo I could hardly write a sentence. My mind was much too foggy to be creative. But the fog is starting to lift and I'm starting to write again - much to the encouragement of my family. (I wonder if it may be so I'll come in here and leave them alone.) With everything I went through last year, I'm now of the mind to try to get my stuff published. It may be a futile cause, but I'll never know if I don't try. If there's one good thing I can say about getting breast cancer, it's that it put things into sharper focus - better perspective. I'm willing to do more/try more now than I was even a year ago.

Jen

NancyM

Hi...Brenda, your hair is FABULOUS! And that baby is so precious and sweet!! I'm glad you had such a wonderful event!



When I did my pics on photobucket I had to edit them and reduce to 50% (I think). I made them too small at one point and had to redo it, so I can't remember for sure.



I ordered some exercise DVDs that I saw one night when I couldn't sleep. Yes, infomericals are so helpful when one has insomnia! It's the Turbo Jam program (by Beachbody.com)and I am determined to get in shape FINALLY. My first goal is to get an inch off my hips by my next onc appt. which is one month from today. That will give me something positive to look forward to, instead of getting nervous as that date rolls around. (I try to stay positive, but you know how that can go sometimes...)



I looked on the Moving Beyond thread...have any of you seen the poems by Yvonnevaneck under the Be Equipped To Move On thread? I think they are wonderful. There are two of them.



Have a good week!

nosurrender

Hi Girls.
How are my Junesterettes in February???
I miss you all. I am sorry I am not around much. I am actually moving- AGAIN. The other house fell through just before I was to move but not until i painted and landscaped the whole thing.

I found a new place and have 8 days to get it ready and move.

I hope you are all doing well and see some are REALLY sprouting and now getting a bit of your grooves back!

YAY Junesterettes!!!

now- does anyone want to help me paint/ move/ tell the cat he has to leave his kingdom???

rmmom

Brendra I LOVE your hair. It gives me hope for mine. It is growing but not as fast as yours has. Your granddaughter is so cute. I need to visit my husband's nephew's and niece to get my baby fix.

Jen write something! I'd love to read a story you wrote.
I had lunch with some name droppers a few weeks ago- It would be great to say I know Jen..Brenda and Jo...:)

Hope the house sells soon. And Nosurrender- you don't want me painting for you. I painted our living room two summers ago. Made me MEAN MEAN MEAN. Our neighbors were moving in and I would stand outside shouting at the big boys for not helping and dd for not watching her little brother(he wandered away twice!) They thought they were moving next door to a crazy person. Good Luck with your move.
Bev

rmmom

PS Jo I still need to come back here. This is the place I can really be me. I don't have to put on a smile to put others at ease. Here I can be tired, or in pain but to world I feel as through I need to have them think I am great or they get uncomfortable and strange around me. Although if another person says " You look so good NOW" I may shake them and ask " Did I look so bad?" LOL LOL

LizFL

Hey Ladies...I DID IT!! Ditched the fur ball this morning and went to work without a wig! It was a spur of the moment decision and boy it feels great! It is a muggy kind of day here and I really like not having that thing on my head!

Liz

JoMac

The "skin head is dead!"

JoMac

Jen.....You must know the quote about writing.....How it is easy just "open a vein"....
I find writing hard, hard, hard.
I am so glad you can do it now and that you can see some good coming from all this.
I never know what to say to people when they ask how I am doing so I just say " I am fine." Because at that moment I am.
later I think "Geez I really am a bit of a mess"
Brenda..good going with the exercise tape. I love exercising.
I used to do the Jane Fonda one years ago. You know the one where she is in a red striped leotard?
One word ....Scary.
No surrender eight days to move ......that sounds impossible but I know you to be a woman who can do impossible things.
Does Mr. Fluffy have a suitcase to carry too?
Bev...You went out to lunch with people. That is what is missing in my life. I don't have enough regular social contact.
I need to build that in especially now that my daughter is in college and my husband will start traveling again soon.
I could use a rent a friend service.
One more thing.....
I know this is random but I have an idea for a new product. it is called "The Less is more." It is a digital scale calibrated to be five pounds under your actual weight.
So baby boomers can be happy again and not sweat it over gaining a few extra pounds. Since the scale is digital you cant lean one way or the other to cheat.
After about on week using this thing I bet people would forget it was a "rigged" scale and be happy about their weight.
( I am only joking about this product but I think Bev's mention of the infomercial made me think of sharing the idea).

JoMac

I made a mistake the scale should be named the "More is less".

LizFL

Forgot to mention...Brenda that baby is gorgeous! How did your hair grow so fast? It looks great.

I only have a mild case of lymphedema...will be going to clinic for 2 weeks 3x a week...not so bad..I can do it!

Jen, I enjoy your posts...you do have a way with words!

Liz

Jenster

Thank you ladies for your encouragement. I'll be sure to let you know when I become a world famous author. lol.

Jo - I love your idea for the More is Less scale. BRILLIANT!! I'd pay good money for a scale like that. And I'm sorry I don't live closer. I'd go to lunch with you and be your friend.

Liz - I'm sorry about the lymphedema, but I'm very glad it's mild. I'll keep you in my prayers that you can get it under control.

I've got a silly question. When people ask me how long I've been a survivor I'm not sure what to say. What do you count as the anniversary? Is it the date of the surgery - when the cancer was removed from your body?

I bought some yummy frosted animal cookies yesterday, thinking that my kids would really enjoy them. When I got home I thought to look at the ingredients and they MAY contain peanuts. My daughter is deathly allergic to peanuts so... I've hoarded the bag of cookies. They're hidden in my office and I kept sneaking in here last night to eat a couple of cookies without anyone knowing. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE ON WEIGHT WATCHERS! So now I'm trying to get through the very large bag as fast as I can so I can go back to watching what I eat. I'm hoping to finish it off before the end of school. That whole sneaking around thing last night made me feel so foolish. I'm just glad hubby is in PA because he would have caught me for sure! They're really good with coffee.

OH! And I have to tell you about a dream I had the other night. I dreamt I grew a new boob! lol. When I had my mastectomy my son asked if it would grow back and I told him not without surgical intervention (and explained the whole reconstruction thing to him). But in my dream I kept feeling something through my nightgown and when I looked in the mirror I had the nicest, perkiest boob. Totally didn't match the other one. lol. I was also skinny and had pretty hair. That's when I really knew it was just a dream. Oh well. It was nice while it lasted.

Obviously I'm in avoidance mode. I have bills to pay, clothes to wash and a house to pick up. But I'd much rather just sit here and chat. That and eat these yummy animal cookies. If I don't eat any lunch I think I can finish them by 2:30. Wish me luck!!

Jen

rmmom

Jen I love your dream. Was it about me? NOT!
I swear I could feel my hair growing last night but when I woke up it was still boy crew cut and straight! I've had close friends ask me why is it straight. Don't know.
Brenda I've been meaning to ask if you ever have your stuff in any of the local galleries? I was at an opening of one in Cleveland about two week ago and my friend is helping open one in Akron. Do I know the names of either? No I am five years old which why I teach so well with them. We live in our little world looking out once and a while saying"oh, wow look at the rest of the world"
Jen and Jo you both made me think of a song we sang to the toddlers way back when I worked in day care.
"Playmate come out and play with me. Climb up my appletree...." and because I am five I have already walked away and found the tree to climb:)
It would fun to all meet and "play"
Bev

Jenster

Didn't Rosemary Clooney sing that song? All I know is that my mom sang it a lot when I was little.

Jen

LizFL

Bev...saw on another thread where they refer to our "do" as a chemo crew and that it cost over $100,000 to get this haircut..thought it was cute and that's what I've been telling people about my hair. I am happy to be able to go without a wig even though a crew certainly wouldn't be a style I'd choose. Our hair will grow...hopefully quickly!

Jen...you crack me up! Maybe you could hide the cookies in the car?

Liz

Jenster

Hiding the cookies in the car. Hm. Never thought of that. I didn't manage to get them all eaten today, but I'll make a valiant effort tomorrow!!!

Chemo crew. I love it. I saw a bunch of people the other night who I haven't seen since before my diagnosis, and they were very complimentary about my new do. Wish I would have known what to call it then.

Jen

NancyM

Hey, speaking of Chemo Crew...a woman passed me and said "love the hair!" and when I said "thanks!" she said "Judi Dench in the James Bond movie!" I smiled, thinking Judi had been a Bond babe back in the day (1960's). As you can tell, I don't know anything about Bond movies. Anyhow, got home and Googled...found the Judi Dench photo...yes, she has GRAY hair in the movie. (sigh)

HEY HEY NoSurrender!! I thought you gave us up, so I'm happy to see you still check in on us! Good luck on the house! Tell your kitty cat we said "hi!" My cat has given up on grooming me, so she no longer thinks I've got another cat strapped to my scalp.

I'm going to start back to the bellydance class in a couple of weeks. I'm looking forward to concentrating on something fun. If you all haven't tried this before, I recommend it as a good way to workout. It uses more muscles than you would think!

I went on an exercise message board, asking if there were other post-chemo folks who were able to get back in shape. Only a few people responded, but they were not cancer survivors. They were people who are into bodybuilding, etc. They said I was an inspiration to them. How do you like that? I'm no Lance Armstrong, people! I'm an overweight, middle-aged woman who is prone to slouching on the couch to watch TV... But it made me feel like I want to be this person they are imagining - a Towanda!! So I'll do visualization by proxy...ha ha...instead of me visualizing myself in shape, I'll visualize how they see me...hmmm...that's even better than I could have imagined I could look!

Analemma

Well, knee surgery is done and I've been eating junk food! I naturally missed Weight Watchers on Wednesday for the surgery, then we had take-out the next two nights, then today I made fudge. I'm out of control!!!

My oldest son called Thursday afternoon to ask if I would babysit tonight - he must think I'm superwoman to ask that so soon after knee surgery, but I agreed anyway. (Two kids, 3 year old boy and 16 month girl, they'll stay overnight). But Greg is doing all the work, and I'll sit on the couch and watch old Disney movies with them!

Then Justin called and said he's coming to go out with friends tonight and can he do laundry and maybe sleep over? (Remember he moved into an apartment closer to work about a month ago?) So, better get more food, even though he says he won't be hungry for supper - LOL!!!
I've been doing too much sitting and haven't been out of the house since surgery Wednesday, I'm going stir crazy! At least I will have some company tonight!

I just read that Sheryl Crow had BC surgery earlier this week - three weeks after she and Lance Armstrong broke up. It's EVERYWHERE!!!

rmmom

I like name chemo crew for our hair.
So here is my question for the week-don't I ask a lot of them?
My DH keeps saying yes to those charities that send you the packets that you mail to the neighbors and they send back to you (for me they rank up there with telemarketing although they can throw them away without even reading)....anyway, the latest is American Institute for Cancer Research (he thought I would LOVE mailing those)
They sent a form that says if you eat right and excercise you may prevent cancer. I want to add and it may not-early detection is your best tool. When I read Brenda's note I thought I bet Lance Armstrong ate right and we know he got exercise. Am I crazy?? I really don't want to mail these but my husband committed me to this. I don't mind Race for a Cure or Relay for Life-I would even go door to door for them without my hat on but this is bugging me. He won't mail them!!! Gave them my name. Am I strange? What do you all think??
Bev

Watson

Hey,
Just a quick post, I'll come back later. Just wanted to tell you I have a shirt that says "Don't Laugh, I paid my oncologist a lot of money for this haircut!"

Gotta run

Watson

LizFL

Bev...I think your husband needs to check with you before saying yes to these mailings unless he is willing to do them himself. If you don't feel right about doing it, then don't. To keep peace, you might offer to call the group that your husband agreed to help and let them know you are unable to do it. I'm sure your husband's intentions are good, but it's not fair of him to volunteer your time without seeing if it is agreeable to you.

Liz

LizFL

Bev...I think your husband needs to check with you before saying yes to these mailings unless he is willing to do them himself. If you don't feel right about doing it, then don't. To keep peace, you might offer to call the group that your husband agreed to help and let them know you are unable to do it. I'm sure your husband's intentions are good, but it's not fair of him to volunteer your time without seeing if it is agreeable to you.

Liz

Analemma

Bev, my husband would know that I'd strangle him twice for committing me to do this kind of thing! I totally resent having my personal time/space being infringed on by charity calls, even if they are a charity I think is valid. These callers are paid telemarketers, they don't work directly for the charity. When I get a call asking me to mail something, give something, etc., I just say "Sorry" and hang up before they can lay on the guilt. They have no right to interfere in my personal time/space to bug me. I am on the national "Do not call" list, I don't think "charities" should be exempt. If I get something in the mail, that's different, I have the choice whether to read it or not, and whether or not to respond. If I get a call that I am tempted to respond to, I always say "mail me your information." If they won't do that, well, then. I have one charity I support regularly, it's Heifer, International. I've added Komen and American Cancer Society. But so many are just fronts for fund raising, and they are not good stewards of the money collected.

My hair has suddenly gone kinky/curly! I'm plastering it to my head with mousse, or I look like Bozo!

JoMac

Mine is curly too. Also the compliments have stopped. Now my hair looks weirder and weirder.
Maybe even a bit "feral" (not a word I use everyday).
I am painting up a storm. I started with clouds and now have moved down to landscapes. They are pouring out of me.
They are much wilder than the work I have done before ( feral again).
I wonder what is going on.?
More importantly ...it is keeping me busy and focused on something positive.
I wake up in the morning and can't wait to get started. Then at the end of the day I frame it up and put it on the wall in place of an older painting. So now I am redecorating the walls.
Nobody has seen these pictures except my husband. He hasn't said anything. I think he is just happy that I am happy.
I like painting for myself ...I make a good client. Very easy to please and get along with.
Ha!

Jenster

"Feral" GREAT WORD!! I was pretty much liking my hair until about two days ago. Now it's just sticking up all over. Or I should say sticking out. Like I'm always disheveled.

We got our first offer on the house today. Talk about a jumble of emotions. Relief, excitement, sadness, fear, melancholy, joy... It wasn't a bad offer, but not quite what we're willing to accept. So we countered and we'll find out tomorrow if it's accepted or not.

We're thinking that if the house does actually sell, the kids and I may move in with my parents so they can finish the school year. I have mixed emotions about that as well. One good thing my husband thought of - we'll ALL be ready for the separation after that!! lol.

Jen

Jenster

THE HOUSE IS SOLD!!! What a great relief. And the buyer is going to rent it back to us for another month. Which means that, if the kids want to finish school here (and I'm about 99.9% positive they will) we'll only have to live with my parents one month. Surely we can manage that!

The kids and I are going to PA for spring break (in about 2 weeks) and we'll all start seriously looking for housing then. Oh! I am seeing a light at the end of this very long and dark tunnel we've been in since last year!!

Jen

rmmom

Jen I am so happy for you!

Bev

LizFL

CONGRATULATIONS JEN!!!!

HOORAY FOR YOU!

Doing a happy dance for you!!

Liz

kimBe

So happy for you Jen!!!!Yes I have been reading posts but not enough time or focus to post lately.....One more week of cheerleading and hopefully my life will slow down! Take care everyone and have a wonderful weekend!
KimB

Analemma

Jen, that's just great!
Jo, I'm so happy you're feeling motivated again! When I hear Joni Mitchell's song "A Case of You" I think of you. (I recently pulled out "Blue" and have been listening to it - probably my favorite album of all time).
Brenda