"Fortunately, Unfortunately"

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Fortunately, Yasmine Bleeth, the Baywatch actress, pipes up, "Hey! This is just like that one episode where we had to wear neon pink camoflage bikinis to confuse the alligators - and I happen to have a few dozen of them here in my huge $3500 designer handbag!" She passes them out and we all change into them.

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited March 2011

    Unfortunately, the scriptwriters for Baywatch didn't do their research; alligators are actually very attracted the neon pink, especially when it's a neon pink bikini, which exposes all that delicious looking flesh (ie 'lunch' in alligator speech).

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited March 2011

    Fortunately, the mud on the road is slimy enough to stick to our bikinis, so we made our own camouflage by throwing mud at each other.  The mud it seems was created by a spring flowing from.. your guessed it...the Fountain of Youth.  We know this because a map written by Ponce De Leon himself was found in a little metal box beside the spring.

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  • Shrek4
    Shrek4 Member Posts: 1,822
    edited March 2011

    Unfortunately, we drink too much of the water of the Fountain of Youth and now we are a group of toddlers, toddling through the swamp, really scared of the big gators that eye us and drool. They move in a cirle around us.... we are surrounded!

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  • Estel
    Estel Member Posts: 3,353
    edited March 2011

    Fortunately, the ghost ship made of crystal, magically pulled it's shattered pieces together and began to draw us like magnets back to the ship.

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited March 2011

    Unfortunately, no one has an immediate idea how to reverse the effect of the magic spring water we indulged in.  Toddlers and crystal are not usually a good match up, and the crew are frazzled chasing us around trying to keep us from putting our fingerprints on the glass.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Fortunately, a Mary-Poppins-like ghost nanny arrives just in time. She ushers us all gently into a pre-school classroom where we begin to fingerpaint.

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited March 2011

    Unfortunately, we becoming very cranky due to the fact that we are hungry and haven't had our naps.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Fortunately, the ship's ghost chef has prepared a tasty toddler luncheon, which gets delivered right to our preschool classroom. We sit at our little tables and chow down on hot fog dogs, crackers and scream cheese, and salad with boo cheese dressing. We wash it down with lemonade poured from a wispy, floating pitcher. That lemonde tastes strangely grown up, somehow.

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited March 2011

    Unfortunately, there was only half a glass of lemonade for each of us.  Although we feel as if we are beginning to age, we only make it to our early twenties.  Oh, Darn!!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Fortunately, there was only a half a glass of lemonade for each of us. Although we feel as if we are beginning to age, we only make it to our early twenties. Hooray! ;)

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited March 2011

    Unfortunately there was not enough for the Baywatch group to have any at all.  Oh, Darn!

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited March 2011

    Fortunately, the lusty, but ghostly sailors have taken a sudden interest in us, and we in them. They escort us to a nightclub hidden in the hull of the ship. There, to our amazement, 'The Rock and Roll Heaven' band is playing, ghostly bartenders are mixing exotic drinks, and waiters are floating by with trays of the most fantasticly delicious looking appetizers ever.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Unfortunately, thanks to reading Twilight, we all know the dangers of falling for otherworldly spooks and keep our distance!

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited March 2011

    fortunately, it appears that the ship has also rescued a group of "young men" from the fountain of youth area and the reason we were limited on the lemonade, is that they gave the young men half glasses aw well.  All of us were at the nightclub to celebrate the success of the lemonade.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Unfortunately, the "young men" are really a bunch of sailors, adventurers, and indigenous tribesmen who drank from the Fountain of Youth way back in the 1500s. We run into a huge cultural divide when we actually start talking to these foreign Rip van Winkle types who have who have spent 500 years as toddlers.

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited March 2011

    Fortunately, as most of the men we know spend their lives a toddlers, we know how to deal with them.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Unfortunately, our handsome companions seem more interested in crayons and coloring books and molding play-doh with the Baywatch toddler babes than hanging out with us. Curses, we're foiled by those Baywatch bimbos again!

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  • Estel
    Estel Member Posts: 3,353
    edited March 2011
    you all are cracking me up!  Laughing  Have nothing to add at this point ... but what a fun diversion!  Thinking ....
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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited March 2011

    Fortunately, we replace the Baywatch Bimbo's crayons with Sharpie Markers, and soon they look like models from LA Ink.  So sorry they aren't clear complexioned babes anymore!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Unfortunately, the Sharpie markers appear to have pro-aging properties! The ink-splattered Baywatch toddlers quickly morph before our very eyes into voluptuous, tattoed Kat von D lookalikes. The sailors and tribesmen forget all about us and start catcalling to get Pamela Anderson's attention.

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited March 2011

    Fortunately, there time as voluptuous women is short lived.  With that much sharpie in their systems, it is not long before their breast start heading south, and their faces show more than laugh lines.

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited March 2011

    We very dejectedly left them to their revels and went back on deck. Fortunately at that moment a big speed boat filled with frat boys pulled up and invited us to come party with them. Since we had 20 year bodies, 20 year old brains, and 20 year old estrogen, we happily clambered aboard and were immediately given ice cold beers from their cooler as we sped off.

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited March 2011

    Unfortunately, the pulled the "Oops we're out of gas" routine.

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited March 2011

    Fortunately we were having so much fun that we let them think we believed them.

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  • badger
    badger Member Posts: 34,614
    edited March 2011
    Unfortunately, the frat boys put the moves on us, creating an ethical dilemma.  We may have looked 20 but... some of us were married women, and others of us were old enough to be their mothers!
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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited March 2011
    Fortunately this is a fanasty story, so we could throw all caution to the wind, and enjoy our sun soaked makeout party! Wink
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Oh, I am laughing so hard!

    Unfortunately, Spring Break was fast coming to an end, and the frat boys had to go back to the University of Florida to complete their semester. They kissed us goodbye and left us at a fruit market in the middle of Miami.

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited March 2011

    Fortunately, as we meandered through the fruit market, accepting free samples of tropical and exotic fruits, we notice that the "Factory Outlet" stores are just outside the borders of the market.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Unfortunately, we have no wallets, cash, or credit cards. We are STILL wearing mud-splattered, neon pink bikinis, so we could definitely benefit from a wardrobe change.

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