"Fortunately, Unfortunately"

ruthbru

Fortunately the experimental procedure works brillantly, and people are awestruck by our dazzling perfect white teeth when we smile. (Which is often!)

badger

Unfortunately, the active ingredient in the treatment wasn't properly neutralized so it kept working & working until our teeth became invisible!

Meece

fortunately, we met an inventor who has developed a margarita flavored permanent tooth paint. 

badger

Unfortunately, it gives us constant cravings for salt.

Teklya

Fortunately we have some salty munchies in the pantry

badger

Unfortunately, we devour the snacks then notice our rings getting tight... must be retaining water from all that salt.

badger

Fortunately, we drink extra glasses of water and flush the salt out of our systems. 

ruthbru

Unfortunately we still needd jobs to support our lavish life style.

badger

Fortunately, we were licensed electricians, so were immediately employed by ConEd.

ruthbru

Unfortunately they wanted us to relocate to their plant in Siberia.

badger

Fortunately, we know there are gold mines there, and we like gold.  Fluent in Russia, we agree as a way to get a free plane ride East.

ruthbru

Unfortunately, our plane appeared to be held together with twine, and our unshaven pilot arrived with a half empty bottle of vodka in his hand.

badger

Fortunately, we have our own private jet with a seasoned pilot, so we strap the drunken company pilot into the co-pilot's seat and take off.  He promptly falls asleep and snores loudly as we cross the ocean.

Estel

Junfortunately the weather is horrendous is Siberia and we can't land there ...and we end up in Mongolia.

ruthbru

Fortunately our plane is met by a group of friendly Tibetan monks who give us refuge in their monastery up in the mountains.

badger

Unfortunately, there is no gold there.

Teklya

fortunately you dine in splendour

ruthbru

Unfortunately the monks have taken both a vow of silence and of Chastity.

badger

Fortunately, that does not bother us much because they are excellent cooks, with a well-stocked larder and wine cellar.  As we sup, a monk quietly strums a harp for our enjoyment.

ruthbru

Unfortunately it is cold up in the mountains; when they show us to our rooms, we find they are unheated cells equiped with lumpy cots, a bowl of cold water for washing, and a chamber pot.

Anonymous

Fortunately, among the Tibetan monks, we find enlightenment, and rise above our meager surroundings, surrounded in indescribable bliss.

badger

Unfortunately, we know we must leave the mountain in the morning when the storm has passed.

badger

Fortunately, we have been enlightened and no longer lust for gold. We decide to quit our jobs with ConEd and fly home.

Scooter-12

Unfortunately, on the way to the airport we had engine trouble and missed our flight.

Anonymous

Fortunately, we ran into Donald Trump, who was campaigning there. (Apparently, he seeks approbation worldwide). The Donald took pity on our plight, and offered us a ride home in his private jet, emblazoned with the word TRUMP in huge letters along the side.

ruthbru

Unfortunately he found out we were democrats and gave us the choice the sign a pledge to Vote Trump or jump from the plane (he did say he would let us use his spare hairpiece for a parachute if we chose that option).

Mab60

Fortunately Anderson cooper w

Fortunately Anderson cooper with cnn was part of the press corp on the flight and Donald did not want any more bad press so we were allowed to finish the flight

ruthbru

Unfortunately, as I was debarking the plane, I tripped, fell down the stairs, and into The Donald so hard that we rolled over and over, coming to a rest with me on top staring down into his eyes in horror, as the national press core snapped picture after picture of the scandalous scene.

Mab60

Fortunately for Donald he was able to turn the episode into a campaign process. He has stated on numerous occasions that he would build a beautiful wall between usa and Mexico, a beautiful wall in his words. When the wall is finished he plans on redesigning airplane steps again using his building expertise. It will be part of fixing america

Anonymous

Unfortunately, Ruth's photos were immediately plastered on the front page of every tabloid rag at the supermarket. Soon her name was known far and wide, and the media was beating a path to her door. The World Wrestling Federation invited her and Melania Trump to don neon spandex and duke it out live on WWF TV!