"Fortunately, Unfortunately"

Meece

Fortunately, we look down and have discovered someone's lost wallet.  It contains several hundred dollars.  We take it to the police department and find that it was a set up.  a billionaire was looking for an honest person, and by luck he found all of us.  He is treating us to a full day of shopping at the outlet center that he owns.

Anonymous

Fortunately, the outlet center is awesome, and we emerge looking like a million bucks, complete with Louis Vuitton luggage and a valet to carry our belongings. The billionaire gets us a chauffer and a limo. Wow, check it out!

We are ready for a night on the town in Miami!

ruthbru

What could be unfortunate about that? hmmmm.....unfortunately a mobster thinks it is his limo full of hot chicks and jumps in. Soon there are sirens wailing and the police are in hot pursuit. 

Anonymous

Fortunately, the limo driver knows some evasive maneuvers and, following the mobster's instructions, gets us safely to an underground speakeasy. We walk in to find the joint full of mobsters, molls, and flappers.

Whoah, how'd we get back to the roaring 20's? And look how our limo has changed!

ruthbru

Cool pictures!

Unfortunately all the smoke, dancing, heat and bathtub gin starts to make the room start to spin around and around and around........

badger

Fortunately, we like the sensation... we drink and laugh and tango and Charleston...

ruthbru

Unfortunately we eventually pass out cold.

Anonymous

Fortunately, when we wake up we are refreshed and surprisingly not hungover. We have slept on satin sheets with big fluffy pillows and comfy canopy beds. We look at our gorgeous surroundings and realize we are in the stone castle from the photo above. A chambermaid enters the room and greets us shyly as she lights a fire in the fireplace to take off the slight chill. The room comes warmly to life.

Another maid comes to the door with silver trays filled with delicious breakfast goodies. She lays out fine sterling place settings and crystal goblets, and we tuck into croissants, fresh squeezed OJ, scrambled eggs, and heavenly bacon. She curtseys and pours us each a dainty china cup full of steaming coffee with cream before leaving the room. 

Wherever we are, it's pretty awesome!

badger

Unfortunately, we are stark naked and REALLY need to pee.  Where are our clothes?  Where's the chamber pot?  OMG there's only ONE?  Geez, a line for the women's bathroom, even here.

Anonymous

Fortunately, we have great sewing skills! We send out a scouting party to find a needle in a nearby haystack, then we set about turning our bed linens and curtains into flowing gowns fit for princesses. The pee problem is not so easily resolved, but eventually we all attend to nature's calling without too much additional fuss and fanfare.

Just as we're putting the finishing touches on our hair and makeup (helpfully provided in the mahogany dressing table) a loud gong sounds in the hallway outside our door.

Meece

Unfortunately the last maid to leave our suite locked the exit door behind her.  We can hear people quickly walking down the corridor outside the door, and many hushed voices, but we have no idea what is going on.  The gong sounds one more time, and everything falls silent.

Anonymous

*gulp*

Fortunately, we try the windows and they're unlocked! We clambor out onto the balcony, then shimmy down some convenient vines to the balcony of the floor below. We make our way into a large, empty drawing room, then peer back out the window to see what is going on.

Oh, how sweet - it's a wedding!

badger

Unfortunately, behind us we hear a low, threatening, hair-raising growl, and turn to see a pair of guard dogs intently watching us.

Anonymous

Fortunately, we also see a pile of lamb bones in the corner. We throw a few bones out the door and when the dogs bound after them, we quickly slam the door behind them. Phew, we're safe.

Now just one worry, what was a pile of bloody lamb bones doing there in the first place?

badger

Unfortunately, we were near the kitchen midden, and all the refuse from the wedding feast.

ruthbru

Fortunately, the dogs are busy chewing on the bones and make no protest as we tiptoe down a back staircase.

Anonymous

Unfortunately, the stressed-out chef spots us and mistakes us for the catering crew.

"Where do you think you're going, ladies? Get back in here and start serving!" he shouts, waving a meat cleaver in the air for emphasis.

We comply.

ruthbru

Fortunately we had all waitressed our way through school, so were quite good at it. This gave us a chance to mingle with the crowd and to try to figure out where we were and what was actually going on.

badger

Unfortunately, we learned of plans by the powerful military-industrial complex, to disrupt the recent peace forged by the two neigboring countries, symbolized by the marriage between children of the two warrior kings, because peace is bad for the warmonger trade.

Anonymous

Fortunately, we spot a well-known news reporter and slip her the information, thus saving the world from a near disaster.

She is so impressed she offers us all glamorous reporter jobs in NYC!

badger

Unfortunately, we are assigned to the society beat, meaning we will attend many parties.  We have nothing suitable to wear ~ we're going to have to go shopping!

ruthbru

Fortunately, as a group we are picked for a segment of 'What Not to Wear', and are given new wardrobes, hair and makeup makeovers. We end up looking absolutely stunning....if I do say so myself!

Meece

Unfortunately, they trashed our old wardrobes and we had put our passports in our jacket pockets.  Now we cannot travel!

Anonymous

Fortunately, they can use green screen to put us anywhere in the world. We do a stunning fashion segment from the Eiffel Tower without leaving Manhattan.

But we are wondering what happened to those passports.

ruthbru

Unfortunately we soon get a visit from Homeland Security, as some suspicious characters had tried to leave the country while flashing our passports!!!

Estel

Fortunately, it all got worked out AND we now have our passports back!

Meece

Unfortunately, the whole incident has brought the unwanted attention of HS and NSA.  We now have men in dark suits and sunglasses following us everywhere.

ruthbru

Fortunately, they are VERY handsome men in dark suits and sunglasses. So we really don't mind so much.

Estel

Unfortunately, handsome and all, they decide to deport us.

badger

Fortunately, we are personal friends with and appeal for help to Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano.  We are summarily released from custody and issued new passports with extremely flattering photos!