"Fortunately, Unfortunately"

Unfortunately we had failed to see the sign:

NO TRESPASSING

AREA 51 PERSONNEL ONLY

But we entered the door anyway.

Unfortunately, we discover that while this is not AREA 51, it's actually AREA 52, which is even more top secret - so much so that no one but the government and the old lady even know it exists. One of the "gifts" she gives us is a Hum-Vee that actually hums and hovers oddly...

Unfortunately, when we all hop in (it strangely expands to fit every one of us comfortably), it begins to whir and hum and glow in a way that makes us a bit uneasy. We press the accelerator but instead of going forward, our eerie Hum-Vee craft lifts off the ground, rises quickly through the cavernous depths of the underground wonderland, and heads straight for the ceiling of the cave -- at a very fast speed!

Unfortunately, the craft appears to belong to someone other than the nice lady or the US government. Within moments of our escape from the cave, we are surrounded by a fleet of  hovering, saucer-shaped crafts filled with who-knows-what form of extraterrestrial life. They want their ship back and they're hopping mad!

Unfortunately, our lovely, private, Caribbean island appears to be totally lacking in accommodations of any kind. In fact, it looks more like a desert island than a resort.

Anybody have a copy of Swiss Family Robinson, Robinson Crusoe, or Island of the Blue Dolphins handy? We need survival tips!

Unfortunately, the trolls could only be active 12 hours at a time, and required a 12 hour rest.  While all the trolls were sleeping, the beautiful underground city became quite boring because if we were to wake a troll it would get ugly.

Unfortunately, after passing throught he wall of the cavern and following a tunnel that (we hope) will bring us to the surface, we realize that the tunnel is not a tunnel but the esophagus of a rock-eating giant worm and we are going full speed towards it's stomach. Oh no!

Unfortunately, when we get out of the worm's body, there's only rock there. We cannot go through it.

Unfortunately, our gimmicks woke up the giant rock-eating worm. It starts thrashing around and we can see huge cracks appearing in the massive pillar of stone. The roof is going to cave in! Oh no!

Unfortunately the ladder fell into the cavern below, and we needed it to climb back down from the precipice we were stranded on once the dust settled.  There was not much space for all of us to sit while trying to figure out how we were going to get out of this mess.

The trolls rescue us and take us back to their land, but unfortunately, they are mad at us for borrowing their expensive worm-cleaning machine. They say "If you like cleaning so much, then fine, we'll just make that your new job." And like Snow White at the hands of the ruthless dwarves, we now spend all our time cooking, cleaning, ironing, and scrubbing toilets. Our hands are getting red and chafed from all the dishes we have to wash - and trolls eat a LOT.

This isn't living, it's pure undergound drudgery!