"Fortunately, Unfortunately"

badger

Unfortunately, we weren't driving... the pilot turned right, and that's why we got lost.

pj12

Fortunately, we encountered The Roadrunner whose beep-beep attracted our attention and we followed his signal  all the way to Santa Fe (it seemed he did know the way...) where there was a film festival being held and we were invited to attend as the guests of Robert Redford who looked better in person than his pictures on TV since his cosmetic surgery.

badger

Unfortunately, we didn't recognize Redford after surgery and walked right past him.

ruthbru

Fortunately he spotted us, and thought we looked so amazing and interesting that he invited us to join him at his table.

Shrek4

Unfortunately, we all got food poisoning from eating some delicious shrimp that was a "product of China".

Anonymous

Fortunately, the caterer was so worried about being sued he gave us each ten grand and free catering for life.

Shrek4

Unfortunately the free catering was valid only at McDonald's.

Anonymous

(And the ten grand turned out to be 10,000 lira)

Fortunately, once we recovered, Robert Redford felt so guilty about the whole thing he let us sit in the front row at the film festival. And we were still in Albuquerque soaking up the sunshine.

ruthbru

Unfortunately, a sudden and severe thunderstorm rolled, causing the crowd to scramble for cover.

Anonymous

Fortunately, at that very moment, the billionairess who had kidnapped us a few pages back returned with an even bigger helicopter and whisked us off to her adobe mansion nestled in the desert hills. We all get our own massage tables and are each assigned a handsome masseur.

Shrek4

Fortunately we got invited in Robert Redford's gazebo and could sip some champagne while watching the storm rollign by - exhilarating!

Anonymous

How about we merge them? Fortunately, Robert Redford turns out to be good friends with the billionairess who kidnapped us, so we all head off together to and enjoy champagne with Robert Redford before getting our massages.

badger

Unfortunately, the axiom about rich people being cheap was true and the inexpensive champagne gave us all headaches.

pj12

Fortunately that gave us an excuse to slip away from the party and the hosts were so inebriated that they did not notice we were gone so we were able to "borrow" a car and escape across the desert. 

Meece

Unfortunately, the billionairess was so cheap that she never filled the gas tanks in her car until they were all empty.  We ran out of gas about 50 miles away from the nearest town with a gas station.  The sun started to come up and we realized that the day was going to be a warm one.

pj12

Fortunately, after walking only about a mile a huge bus pulled up beside us and the driver asked if we needed a ride. The bus was the tour bus for Wayne Newton and was on its way to pick him up in Las Vegas for a big performance in Los Angeles. We climbed in and settled back in the plush purple velour seats with the gold accented kitchen and bathroom.

Anonymous

Unfortunately, Tom Jones is in the bus too, so we get serenaded with endless rounds of "What's Up Pussycat" and "It's Not Unusual." Then Tom asks us to get him in touch with Pamela Anderson.

ruthbru

Fortunately once we agreed to do so, he went off to take a nap, leaving us to relax and watch the beautiful desert scenery.

Shrek4

Unfortunately he has a lot of gas, and the windows of the bus can't be opened.

Meece

Unfortunately all of the hotels on the North Rim were booked.  We sat at the edge of the canyon watch ing the sunset and waiting for word that there was a room open.

badger

Unfortunately, the hotel was also hosting a circus convention and was filled with clowns.

pj12

Fortunately, the hotel offered us free rooms if we would participate in the show the clowns were going to put on for the guests and, since we did not have money to pay for our rooms, we thought this was a good idea. 

Meece

Unfortunately many of us suffer from coulrophobia and were unable to muster up enough courage to go on stage with the clowns.  There was mass hysteria back stage when they came at us with white make up in hand.

Estel

Fortunately, there was a doctor there with ample supplies of Xanax, so were at least able to get on stage without freaking out.

pj12

Unfortunately, the xanax on top of the cheap champagne really brought out the "clown" in all of us and next thing we knew we were all cramming into a mini Cooper and racing around the hotel parking lot acting like fools.

Anonymous

Fortunately, Ringling Brothers thought we were so spectacular that they gave us the mini Cooper to keep! The car enabled us to leave the next day, though it was a tight squeeze cramming us all into such a compact car.

Free at last, we head off into the desert like frat boys in a phone booth.

ruthbru

Unfortunately, once the sun came up we realized that the car had no air conditioning.

Shrek4

Fortunately, we found a pond surrounded by vegetation and a few trees, so we spent the day there bathing in the pond to ride the heat, and then continued our way at night.

Meece

Unfortunately, the headlights were burnt out so we had to take turns sitting on the hood holding a flashlight to see outr way.

Shrek4

Fortunately, because the headlights aren't working and we only drive by flashlight light, we notice a faint fosforescence somewhere to the left of the road. We go investigate, and we find it to be an unusual door in the dirt of the desert, mostly covered by dust. We open the door and find an amazing underground palace. Whom does this belong to?