STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

kathindc

Since the lab orders are coming from two different doctors I find it hard to believe that insurance would give you a hard time. You can always check with your insurance carrier to be on the safe side. I’ve had this happen and both were covered. I had an epiphany moment because I am not a fan of needles and this is how I avoid having it done within weeks of each other when I know both doctors will order bloodwork I’ll let the doctor from my first appointment know that I’m going to wait until my other appointment so I just have to have the one time poke. They are ok with this. Just make sure you give the lab both orders. The only time there was a problem is when one was dated. It has to be done on or after that date.

Lita57

I'm going "VSED" - Voluntarily Stopping of Eating and Drinking when the time comes. Totally legal in Calif 'cuz you're not taking pills (or paying several thousand $$ just or the death meds). Your body just knows what to do. You didn't have to tell it what to do when you were going thru puberty or pregnancy. Kidneys shut down from lack of hydration (DO BE SURE you have a palliative care dr on board - and I do - to give you "sedation" meds for if ya need 'em), and you'll be home with the Lord and your family members who have gone on b4 you in a week to 10 days, depending on how compromised your organs were b4 you started the "letting go" process. Rarely does it take more than a couple of weeks.

I can't tell you how much COMFORT this brings me. WE ARE ALL GOING TO TRANSITION sooner or later, so why fight the process. My family is totally on board with this.

Blessings to all of you,

L

ctmbsikia

Dah kath! Thanks I can just take both orders and do both at one time. If insurance kicks one back, then there will be a war. The only denial I've had so far was for the Prolia shot earlier this year. Even though DEXA is due in Dec. doesn't mean I have to do it then. Plus in 2020 I will most likely have another carrier then.

Lita, that sounds like a plan and glad you are comforted by it and your family is on board too. When it's time though!!

Anonymous

Lita57, I basically agree with you. I don't want to hang around because of artificial this and that. The process that you speak of also gives family members some time to come to acceptance.

What is really difficult is when someone dies unexpectedly and suddenly, like when my 18 year old daughter was instantly killed in 1987 by a reckless driver who had been drinking and on drugs.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die,"

bennybear

First hugs to all dealing with grief! I had two people close to me diagnosed at the same time last year as me and they are both gone! I am meeting with my friend who lost her sister for lunch today and going to visit the family of my friend who died, they are out of town and it will be the first time. She has been my rock when things came up in life. I so miss her!

jo6359

viewfinder- I I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. That is something you never forget or get over. My 17 year old niece was killed by drunken driver while stopped at a red light. The drunk who was driving with a permanently revoked license left the bar at 5 p.m. and within three minutes he destroyed many families and killed five individuals. Back then the law was very lenient on drunken drivers. I desperately hoped this young man stopped drinking and received the help he needed. I also wanted him to face the consequences for his actions. That didn't happen.

Meow13

Medicare says Mom has to do a month of physical rehabilitation before they will consider paying for her back MRI. Smart Mom asks, how much would it cost if I pay for it myself, answer $242. She will get her MRI friday, atleast we can find out if it is a pinched nerve syatica (sp?) Or inflammation on a disc. One you treat with heat the other ice. The lyrica and pain meds are doing nothing for her as far as relief.

I think it is ridiculous that you wouldn't get an MRI first before treatment.

bcincolorado

Lita good idea to make sure all are on board first as well. My DH grandma decided to stop meds after asking her doc what would happen if she quit taking them and he told her she'd be dead in 48 hours. He got her on hospice with morphine right away so she was not in pain at the end.

jo6359

Every year I sit down with my Mom and Dad to review their advance directives, medical proxy, etc. When I started this over 20 years ago, my father was quite perturbed at putting everything down in writing. Upon reviewing it annually he has become an active participant and has made a few changes throughout the years. Initially, both my parents wanted to be buried but over the past five to seven years they both decided on cremation. Every year my parents are so involved in this process because they do not want to be in a position where they're kept on life support without any hope of recovery or if they are in incredible pain with no recourse of treatment. When I review this information with my parents I always make sure I have at least one to two siblings with me while we review their information. My parents arevery happy with this process and look forward to reviewing their information.

jaycee49

Meow, are you in Canada? An MRI for $242? Not where I come from. Is that the copay? I would double check that figure.

Lita57

It's really terrible when someone passes unexpectantly...especially a child, where there's no time to prepare.

Just went to a memorial of a young man (well, at 43, that's still young to me) who passed in his sleep; cause of death still not determined - parents didn't want to do an autopsy. They are deeply grieving, and I feel so much compassion for them.

I don't have any answers as to whether it's better to go that way, or to be prepared with hospice, etc. Cancer is a monster,

L

Anonymous

jo6359, I, too, am sorry for your losses. The man who killed our daughter was a habitually reckless driver who lost his license about six times, if I remember correctly. He spent about six months in jail for our daughter's death before being released. Years later, his girlfriend's mother called and told me that he had killed her daughter in a drunken boating accident. She asked me to go to court but I just didn't have it in me, though I sent her dozens of articles surrounding my daughter's death.

I was in public office at the time and went to Tallahassee with other MADD members and spoke with the Governor. They lowered the legal drinking limit...but not by enough.

Life just isn't fair sometimes, as members of this forum certainly know.

btw, I have all my papers in order, such as will and advanced directive. I also have a list of all important professionals that my family should know. The originals, including a list of key passwords, are in a safe deposit box. I keep the information updated if any changes are made.

bennybear

If you chose to pay rather than wait for covered ones, in Canada MRIs are around 700 to 800 $, but that is Canadian dollars.

Micmel

My best friend and I had the same discussion yesterday. Her father was jogging and bam He had a heart attack and was gone within seconds. No warning. She never got to say goodbye to him.

My father was in hospice for 7 months. It was special everyday, but only for me, hospice to me, is for the family, because being a full time caretaker is exhausting. That's why there is shifts with nurses. It needs a team to be done. The family gets the real time to spend with the person in hospice. But when I would leave after 3hours of a visit..he would still be laying in that bed for the rest of those 21 hours a day. In pain.

Perhaps that is considered a form of suffering to me. I saw his limbs atrophy, he couldn't straighten his fingers anymore. Couldn't move his legs fully straight. Skin changes. Liver spots,, eye color changes like a silver fish behind his gorgeous baby blues. So it's to me a blessing and a curse. I got my goodbyes. She remembers her father young and strong.

I remember holding mine. And kissing his forehead, moving him into the wheelchair with my own strength. For myself I wouldn't change a thing, but I wouldn't want him to suffer, when he started to suffer.. I believe it is when he decided to let go. The suddenness of a death gives no closure. Especially. Dear God someone so young. So not fair.

I always wanted to die in my sleep, I think we all knew we were gonna go someday, for me it's always been a worry of how we are going to have it happen. I know clearly now myself. But there are always two sides to everything. Every feeling every emotion. Every situation. Never cut and dry. Ever!!

Viewfinder~My heart bleeds to think about what you have been through, and your family. I’m deeply sorry! No words could express.

Meow13

The MRI is in washington state yes Mom can pay the $242 not a copay medicare won't pay because she will not wait until 1 month of physical therapy. It is a private company will post their office.

https://www.mycdi.com/locations/renton/

It also is has the only stand up MRI in the state I believe. I had my back MRI here it only takes s couple minutes no contrast.

Actually the one on their website site starts at $410, for Mom they quoted $242 Medicare won't cover it.

ctmbsikia

Grief is a process. Every individual processes it differently so I feel it's very important to respect ones wishes and keep your opinion to yourself when you're faced with the death of a loved one. Some grief while their loved ones are still living, the caregivers especially. Then once they are gone the process starts all over again. It's relief at first, but then all the things that happened while LO was close to death, to finally being able to cherish the memories of a healthy LO. Both my parents are deceased and I have experienced both sudden death (my father coronary collapse), and mother (diabetic, heart disease, and dementia). Sudden death is life changing. I took FMLA from my job to care for mom until we figured out what to do. Never expecting Dad would go first, right? We placed Mom in assisted living, sold our family home, still cared for her everyday and she passed just a year after. We never told Mom sister was diagnosed with BC in that year. I'll never forget one day Mom was in the hospital and so was sister with surgery. Another day the hospital team took me in the room and recommended hospice. That was a hard day. Mom went really fast and I was not able to watch and be with her after her breathing became labored. Amazingly, Mom knew this about me. Her last words to me were-"you better go, and make your Dad a sandwich" My sister later told me she thought Mom could sense her there as well and was hanging on for her. She passed shortly after she left.

Micmel

ctm~ A huge hug from me. Sounds like your one hell of a woman who has experienced a hell of a lot of struggle. I only can hope that all of our loved ones get that chance to speak up and be who they should be for us when we need them as we had always been through our lives there for them. My DH is already my savior. But at the end of the day when it gets to be too much for him. I'll gladly step into hospice to alleviate stress on him. He always insists I'm going to outlive him. But I honestly don't want to. I wouldn't make it. I would follow in his footsteps... death an unwanted reality we all have in common and can never escape or out run no matter who you are, or how much money one May have.

Has anyone heard from Sas? (Creator of this thread? I'm concerned!

bcincolorado

If you click their user name it will show where they posted last and looks like last was 2 months ago.

Micmel

I know that’s what worries me!

bcincolorado

Call from insurance. Tests ordered by doc denied and they need more information before they can approve. Of course meanwhile we wait. Hate dealing with insurance. Tests cost a fortune if you cant' get approved.

candy-678

Hey all. So I am frustrated how I just don't feel good anymore. Let me explain. Today a group of guys from my church came to my house to do some yardwork I have been neglecting. That is their mission, to help people in the congregation. So I didn't just want to be sitting in my house as they worked so I sat outside as they worked and chatted with them some. It was hot and humid today but I sat in the shade. Well even sitting and doing nothing I was sweating. Then I felt kind of dizzy. I toughed it out and stayed outside with them. Good grief !!!! I used to be the one out there weed eating and power washing the house. Where did those days go ??? I cannot do those things anymore, I cannot do anything anymore. Even sitting in my air conditioned house I feel fatigued a lot. And sometimes I have episodes of nausea or dizziness--- episodes of what I call "feeling plain unwell". Does that make sense? Does anyone else feel like that -- just unwell, like things just are not right in your body? I know several on this site post about doing things with kids, grandkids, friends. How do you feel well enough to do all those things? I envy those who can. My scans show "stable" and my blood work is ok. But I certainly don't feel like I used to. Is it the meds we take to keep the cancer at bay? Just frustrating and kind of sad. I feel like 1/2 the person I used to be. Thanks for letting me vent.

Lita57

Candy, I feel EXACTLY the same way. Scans stable, blood work okay, but I feel SOOO tired and like S*&T all the time.

L

mara51506

I feel that way quite a bit and my drugs are targeted. I think the years worth of drugs, radiation etc really do take a toll. I am also NED from the neck down, my brain is stable and shrinking but I am still super exhausted. If I don't exercise in the morning when I have some energy, I cannot really do much more which is a shame. I also know after my mother died, the grief was hitting me hard. Cancer sucks in everything it takes away and no matter what kind of treatment we are on, being on them for years is difficult. I've had Herceptin for four years and Herceptin plus Perjeta for three plus periods of radiation in between. Crazy to me that I am conscious at this point to be quite honest.

Meow13

Wouldn't it be great if the drugs we take actually made us feel better!

candy-678

Makes me feel a little better I am not the only one feeling bad. LOL. Just getting very frustrated feeling bad all the time. I want my old self back. My PCP ordered a blood test to check my Sed Rate--inflammation--due to the autoimmune issues I have. Saw results today on patient portal. Normal range 0-20, mine was 60. Well I wonder if this is one reason I feel bad !!!! A lot of inflammation going on. I have had it checked various times since diagnosis of autoimmune issues in 2014. This is the highest it has ever been. Of course, no call as of yet from PCP.

pajim

Candy, when I feel like everything is 'off' (not the symptoms you describe but things like it) I take 2 Advil. 400mg ibuprofen. And lo, I feel a lot better. Even though I'm not in pain or have a fever. I guess it dampens the inflammation kicked up by the drugs.

You might try -- can't hurt, might help. But the heat and humidity are probably make everything hard.

Artista964

it would be great to know if meds are even working!

runor

I read about people having breast MRIs and I am puzzled. When my one mamm came back saying 'something weird and possibly evil is still in your boob after the lumpectomy and radiation', and I lost my shit, I asked my radiation oncologist if maybe an MRI wouldn't clear things up and said HELL NO! She told me to AVOID an MRI until every other avenue of investigation had been exhausted and this is how she explained it: Surgery and radiation cause scarring, a disruption in the natural flow of things. Cancer also causes a disruption in the natural flow of things. When you have an MRI they inject a dye (contrast ) into you and watch to see how it flows. If it hits cancer, the flow gets all screwy and blocked looking. If it hits radiation and surgical damage the flow gets all screwy and blocked looking. SO it can be very difficult to tell the difference between a blockage caused by surgery and radiation or a blockage caused by an invasive cancer. So, does this clear up any confusion? NO! In fact it can make things even MORE confusing. Rad onc said to have another mamm in 4 months and if there were ominous changes THEN proceed to MRI. But not before. 4 months later the mamm showed that the mess was shrinking, so they deemed it radiation and surgery damage, since untreated cancer does not generally shrink.

Jaycee, in Canada, MRIs are covered if you wait for your appointment, 6 months to a year hence. If you want results faster you can go to a private MRI clinic and pay for an MRI and the price varies clinic to clinic and for how big an area they are looking at. I had one about 8 years ago, armpits to hip bones and it cost $1500. BUt that was a pretty big picture. Result: at that time I was medically boring. Nothing going on. Oh how I wish I was medically boring now.

DogMomRunner

runor- I had a breast MRI before surgery or chemo. My BS wanted chemotherapy to be done first because my tumor size was hard to tell (dense tissue) and to shrink the tumor down to a size that she could get good margins with a lumpectomy. MO wanted it staged before chemo to determine the chemo protocol. So I had an MRI to better determine the size and extent of it. The main reason I was told that an MRI is not always the best option is that you change the a lot of false positives

Beesie

runor, I'm in Canada too, Ontario in my case. When I was diagnosed and my BS ordered an an MRI, I had it done within a week. Other people I know who've had MRIs for cancer diagnosis have also been scheduled promptly. When I was getting regular MRIs as part of my annual screening, because it was a non-urgent requirement, I knew that the wait would be longer. So I would get the requisition in for the appointment about 2 - 3 months before I wanted it to be done, stating when I wanted the appointment, and I always was scheduled for the MRI right when I wanted it. Obviously the process and timelines are different in different provinces and cities, based on their guidelines and the availability of equipment, but a general statement that it takes 6 months to a year to be scheduled for an MRI in Canada is not accurate.

When I was diagnosed my BS ordered an MRI prior to surgery to ensure that he knew as much as possible about what was going on before he operated. The MRI did show a larger area of concern than what had shown on my mammogram, and the MRI turned out to be correct. Fortunately the entire area was DCIS, not invasive cancer, but it did need to be surgically removed and it's what led to my decision to have a MX rather than a lumpectomy. Right decision.

After my UMX, I continued to get MRIs for quite a number of years, at the request of the Radiologist who did my mammograms, because of the density of my breast tissue. The MRI was used to check my remaining breast, and it verified that the implant on the reconstruction side was intact. After a number of years, when my breast density declined, MRIs were no longer recommended.

MRIs certainly have their value and their place. They do tend to present false positives and 'incidental findings' - I had that one year when a spot showed up on my spine that possibly was mets, but fortunately wasn't - but MRIs are also quite good (but not perfect) at detecting breast cancer.