STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Amica

Jcia, to my knowledge that's not the system in Ontario. You need a family doctor for all referrals etc. I still have my oncologist, but she's not going to do referrals for my eye surgery or for things like that. Anyway, I'm used to not having a family doctor. I had to wait about 7 months to get one, and there are walk-in clinics, but for some reason they won't do referrals. Oh well, I'll figure something out. I do think it is rather cruel for my family doctor to drop a patient with Stage IV breast cancer, I'm actually kind of stunned. She said she would continue to see me until I get a new family doctor but I don't want to see her knowing she hates me and wants to get rid of me. I can't even imagine how strained and uncomfortable an appointment would be.

WC3

Amica:

I'm sorry you have had such a horrible experience. Did you previously have a good rapport with her? If so, is there any chance of explaining to your family doctor that there was a miscommunication?

My surgery almost got cancelled due to a miscommunication despite the fact that I stated nothing about canceling in my original message that I left with the receptionist. Thankfully the coordinator called me to confirm beforehand.

jcia

Amica, it is very cruel. I wouldn’t want to see her either knowing that. Hopefully you can find one that you like. What a terrible thing she is doing and you don’t need the extra stress from this. (((Hugs)))

Amica

WC3 - I don't know. Previously the rapport was OK. It seemed to have gotten worse once I was diagnosed with the recurrence. I felt like she wasn't comfortable with it. At the same time, I became a more demanding and needy patient, I'll admit that. It didn't help that I wasn't getting timely test result updates from my oncologist, like my PET scan results, so I would end up calling my family doctor for those results, and I think she thought I was burdening her staff, actually I know that, she said that to me yesterday. But then that goes back to the oncologist who was not providing me with test results as she should have. Or the mixup with the bone doctor; my onc thought my family doctor should have been dealing with it, my family doctor thought the onc should, and so neither one would deal with it! So it was like a circle of dysfunction. And so all of that combined...it just seemed to go south...

thanks for the support jcia and WC3 ---

WC3

Amica:

If she was not up to having a patient with your medical needs then maybe it would be best to go with a new family doctor.

Her "firing" you might be a blessing in disguise.

MeToo14

ScWilly, we too hot incredibly lucky, we live in Thousand oaks and it came so close. I'm sorry for your friend, I can't even imagine what they are going through. My heart goes out to to everyone living with these fires.

Mominator, though I live in California now for 20 years I grew up in Brigantine, New Jersey. I am very familiar with just how bad the storms and flooding can be. I hope you and your loved ones are safe.

Amica

My family doctor changed her mind. I had an electrocardiogram on Monday, and there is some kind of blockage, my body is falling apart it seems, so she just called and is referring me to a cardiologist....so I guess she had second thoughts. So that's that. I could have done without that drama...but I know I am at fault too. I need to stop calling the doctors when I am upset, make sure I only leave messages when I am calm, cool, collected. I've just been having a hard time because as I've written in the cats forum, my emotional support pet, my best most-loved cat friend ever, died on Saturday, and I've been a mess ever since. It is what it is, but I appreciate the chance to vent on here and the support I received. thanks.

Since this is the steam room and the only place I can vent, even on this, I will add that this was yet another failure on the part of my oncologist. Prior to starting treatment, I asked her if I shouldn't have my heart checked out, since I had been having palpitations, where my heart beats really fast and feels like it's going to burst out of my chest, and she said, "no that's not necessary." So I went to my family doctor and she at least did the right thing and ordered an ECG. My oncologist continues to get an F.

Parrynd1

Amica, I still think your doctor takes a lot of the blame. You are going through more than most right now. You doctor, imo, should at least attempt to be more understand to that fact and that you may not have all your shit held together in a nice neat bundle all the time. Sorry about your cat

Lita57

Idiots...Cancer tx can mess with the heart. They should already KNOW THIS.

L

7of9

I hate this disease. Yes I've taken trips, spent more said more and done more because of it that have been good. But after a recurrence my nerves were shot and of all things, I let my stupid but wonderful part time job stress me out. My straight A wonderful 9 yr old kid came home from a birthday party tonight he'd been soooooo excited to go to all week and he was quiet, bummed out and depressed. Apparently some of the boys teased him about his lunch playground buddy who just happens to be a sweet wonderful Tom boy girl. He also farted and got teased (he felt mildly better after DH informed him that guys will soon love to fart to impress each other and make each other laugh, it becomes a sporting event by 8th grade). I feel like I've been a piss poor example and shit influence on my kid since he doesn't know how to take a joke and just roll with things. I'm too serious with him and trying to impress so many of life's lessons while he's still little because I know my and his odds aren't great at me being here in 10 yrs. Scew the odds. And screw this damn disease.

jaycee49

Right now, I am embroiled in the application process for my new funding for my drug. Lots of emails, forms and (I hate this) phone calls. They would rather do phone than email but they will just have to get used to how I operate. It is SOOOO commercial. They have already charged (pending) our credit card with the first month ($49.95, sounds like a blue light special at K-Mart) plus $60 processing fee. The organization is called (wait for it) "Advocate My Meds." Grammatically cringe-worthy. It has a ! at the end but I refuse to type that. Up the ladder corporately is Patient Assistance Programs. My latest two emails have come from them with the return email address "missinginformation." Not too much pressure. I just printed the 21 page attachment that has several duplications of what I have received before. One step up the corporation ladder is RxSolutions who openly, on their website, say they "support pharmaceutical companies," "improving their bottom line." Like they need help. I have a bunch of stuff collected in files on my computer for emailing back to them. I just have to pick out the pages (of the 21 page attachment) that need to be filled out and scanned to be ready to send to them as well. Big honking project appropriate for Thanksgiving weekend because it keeps my stomach in a knot so I won't eat too much.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I'm fine, really. The drug is working or I wouldn't be doing this, right?

Lita57

JAYCEE, I feel your pain, but unfortunately, that's our world now.

Sadly, I can't eat rich foods anymore because of the chemo. I get dyspepsia (not so much GERD), and have to take Zofran and Med MJ to quell it...and don't even mention deep fried foods, sigh. We went to a wonder Creole restaurant for my DD's b'day and I only had ONE boudine (SP?) and 1 and 1/2 small hush puppies, and that was enough to keep me up ALL NIGHT!

But, darn it, I'm going to have a tiny piece of my traditional T'day homemade Lasagna and a small slice of my scratch-made pumpkin cheese cake with ginger snap crust...and belly ache be damned!

Good luck w/your paper work,

L

Scwilly

7of9: Why are people so mean? What do they get from it? Your son deserves nothing but a good life with great friends. Sending love.

JaYcee - I hate paperwork. And what the heck - the processing fee is more that the cost of the drug! So stupid.

LIta - I wish you a wonderful time and as little pain as possible for your Thanksgiving. Ive got nausea and stomach issues loosing all my TG dinner which was only about a 1/4 of what I would normally eat. Must try to work out what I can or can't eat.

I've been back to urgent care the other day after my previous shenanigans. I needed an ultrasound on my liver. This was arranged quickly by my MO due to high liver markers and my bilirubin creeping up. Sadly, it meant no time for her to get results back to me that day(it was done at 6pm as I had to wait after easting) So we were told we must check into Urgent care and a doc will let me know the results What a palaver it turned out! We waited 3/4 an hours - not to bad - only to be told by the nurse the urgent care doc was not comfortable in giving me my results and I added to wait for my MO! Well that was all I wanted to do - but everyone - checking, ultrasound tech, booking clerk - said we should wait. Now I was in a worst position as I feared it showed something really bad. In the end my MO rang early the next day - and the UC didn't show any blockage - its just the cancer getting in the way (odd to think I felt this was good thing but hey thats cancer life) Re-0naming Urgent Care - to Scardy Cat Care!!!!! They definitely don't have the best doctors in there! I love Kaiser - but have had problems with Urgent Care quite a few times.

Love to all

Sarah

Snickersmom

Okay, I have something to bitch about. I had a BMX 18 months ago. I chose not to go thru reconstruction for several reasons. I keep seeing posts from women who had recon and they mention feeling "normal" and that seems to be one of the reasons for having it done. Just because I now don't have the two breasts I carried around for 70 years doesn't make me any less normal. If recon makes others feel more like they used to be, great. But I don't feel any less feminine or "normal" just because I don't have breasts anymore.

I know I am being sensitive about this, but I had to say it.

Peregrinelady

Snickersmom, I think what feels “normal” is different for everyone. I am one of those people who said that reconstruction made me feel normal, but that was only after living for a year with one breast. I thought I could handle being half flat, but I felt lopsided and even though I never wear clothes that show it, I missed my cleavage. So, yes, reconstruction made me feel more normal, but it doesn’t mean that I would consider women who do not choose reconstruction abnormal. Whatever you are comfortable with is what counts.

leftduetostupidmods

snickersmom, I have a reconstruction that looks beautiful. But I feel as far from normal as possible. If I didn't want to avoid another surgery, I'd take these out in a heartbeat.

Artista964

If I was older like over 70 I probably would have skipped recon. But i was a dd and 50. It doesn't look normal as i opted not to do nipple tatoos but my ps did a great job that under a shirt it looks c cup nicely lifted. I don't wear bras anymore, no need. But it doesn't feel the same. Everyone has their thoughts. Stick with what's right for you and don't bother trying to explain to others questioning. My fam doesn't know about my bc stuff. Saves me from a ton of anxiety and stress.

MeToo14

So I'm very upset with my MO's office. For the past three years I I've been getting a zoladex shot. I just found out they have been under billing me for the last three years. It's now triple the cost! They now are trying to come after me for the money. Well, it's thousands of dollars that I certainly don't have. I can't believe this. I do have a legal back ground and I do know that when you pay a bill in full and receive a receipt that says paid in full that is it. They can't come back and ask for more. I'm currently working my way up the management chain talking to different people and being blown off. They can go to collections with this, they aren't getting the money. You can't get blood from a stone. This was their mistake, and they will have yo eat the extra cost.

Scwilly

MeToo14:That is so annoying and bare faced cheeky of them!! I would say morally they should have no justification be able to bill you backdated. But like you I m not legal or even medical admin person. So cross for you. Im sure there's someone who can be of

more practical. Grrrr.

SierraPineapple

Today I made the mistake of looking at my billing statement for treatment in the month of October. I don't usually go to my hospital's online account for me since I have insurance and deal with everything there. I got curious after my insurance denied a new drug we are adding to treatment. The new drug cost estimate is 28k per month. I'm very lucky and thankful to have gotten approved for a financial assistance program my doctors found for me and this new drug will be covered. Normally this would having me gasping, ranging and raving at the scandal of our health system. That is until I looked at the cost of 2 infusions. Just the infusions, no scans or anything else which I have to have every 4-8 weeks for my brain and chest.

$90,000

This is criminal! I just want to be alive. I didn't do this to myself. How do insurance companies not go bankrupt!? At this rate I'll hit my max coverage in no time. How is this ok? It makes me mad to tears to think what happens without insurance or when you are maxed out. Why is the cost so high? How do we get this regulated or something? You are literally killing people with cost. Is this normal in the US? Ugh I don’t even know what to do with my mad sad disgust and just...myriad of emotions

WC3

I'm a few days out from surgery. I met with a pre surgical team to discuss some concerns I had and some accommodations I would need.

The pre surgical people said they X, Y, Z and they would take care of it but they didn't. As a result they did not do two things I was told they would do during surgery, I was sent home a day earlier than I was told, and without home health care.

I have a problem with one of the drains but can't reach to strip it/fix it myself and when talking with the on call surgeon about that, he told me home health care would have had to have been set up while I was in the hospital and I can't get it now.

Well it was supposed to be set up from the beginning!

Now I'm sitting her with an exposed, leaking drain site incision on the cancer side, probably leaking tumor cells all over myself because we know some linger after treatment and you just have to be lucky enough that they stay dormant or your immune system gets them.

I'm considering going elsewhere to finish the reconstruction because if this surgery were the DIEP then I would be in bed unable to move and by myself right now. Not to be a drama queen but I would literally be stuck.

What, exactly, does the pre surgical team do except bill me, I wonder?

Artista964

wc. If your drain is leaking you need to be seen. Call your pcp if bs or ps aren't helping.

WC3

Rosabella:

They took the drains out. I still need to get in touch with the pre surgical team to find out what happened to the home health care though.

Lita57

So....I was able to renew my DRIVER's LICENSE this afternoon, but it WON'T have the required "REAL ID" stamp on it because (drum roll please) I didn't have my marriage certificate/license with me. I believe this new ID thing is something that Trump set up....figures.

I had EVERYTHING ELSE...My birth certificate with the real embossed seal for copy certification from the Hall of Records (they won't take photocopies - it has to be authenticated with the embossed stamp/seal), my ORIGINAL SS Card (with my hyphenated name on it), and TWO bills to prove residency. That's what the paperwork told me to bring - nothing else.

I looked everywhere on the paperwork they sent me about what to bring, searching for MARRIAGE LICENSE - but it was no where to be found on said paperwork. The Dept. of Motor Vehicles (DMV) clerk said I had to have the marriage licence to PROVE I was married to Mr. X, and that's why my name is hyphenated. Gees Louise! Come on! The bills have my hyphenated name, the SS Card has my hyphenated name, my current license has my hyphenated name on it, and the way I see it, the marriage license only has my MAIDEN name on it! Plus, my DH was standing beside me the whole time in front of the clerk, and I was wearing my wedding ring...

Apparently, that wasn't enough. Well, we have until the end of 2020 to get all this re-done for the Federal ID/License, and I seriously doubt that I will be here in two years, given how my bone mets are getting bigger, my vision is worse from the brain mets, etc. ((Oh, happy day - my vision hasn't deteriorated to the point where I failed the vision test - I passed it - PHEW!))

So I'm writing this to all you MARRIED ladies who will have to get your ID/License renewed. I should have listened to my friend in Georgia who went thru this...she said be sure to bring your marriage cert/lic. I did NOT listen to her because it didn't say to bring that document on any of the DMV paperwork. So, ladies, you'll need to bring it along w/all the other stuff. You need the FEDERAL ID if you want to fly. I'm not supposed to fly with my brain mets, so I didn't make a big deal out of it, but it still IRKS me. They need to PUT THIS on the list when they mail you the paperwork for criminy sakes.

So that's my rant for this afternoon...sigh.

L

AliceBastable

Lita57, that's just nuts. But typical. Some years back, right after we moved, I went to get a library card. Because I don't drive, they said I didn't have sufficient ID, and they'd have taken a voter ID card but I hadn't gotten the new one yet. I had several other types of ID with me. As I was turning to leave, the clerk asked if I'd like to take care of the voter card. HUH? He said I could get that card, then use it as ID to get the library card. I just glared at him and asked if he ever listened to the dumb shit falling out of his mouth.

LoriCA

Haha not Trump for that one, Real ID was passed in 2005 (9/11 Commission) and was supposed to be effective in 2008, but California is one of the few states that kept dragging their feet and asking for extensions, year after year after year after year. Now they're told no more extensions, get it done, and everyone is scrambling in a panic. They've only had 13 years to prepare for it...meanwhile it's old news to the rest of the country.

If you're divorced and changed names, you need to bring divorce decree too.

I had to do an in person renewal last year and was mad that California wasn't ready for Real ID at that time. Personally I think it will be easier to just renew my passport (or apply for one if you don't already have) than deal with the lines at a California DMV office if I'm going to fly. It took me hours to renew my license last time even before Real ID and I don't have the stamina for that these days.

WC3

My license is up for renewal. To get the RealID I have to go in to the office...and if I go in to the office, I have to take a vision test and have a new photo taken. That is exactly what I want. A driver's license with a commemorative photo of me post chemo with hair that looks like I survived a nuclear bomb and then was licked by a cow.

But I actually came here to complain about the fact that they keep pushing me to make an appointment, but when I try to, the system tells me they have none for my location, so I can expect to spend about 2 hours there.

LoriCA

WC3 that made me laugh so hard (in understanding)! I'm glad I renewed my license right before my DX or I'd be the one arguing with someone for the right to keep my headscarf on for my photo.

Mominator

HIPPA

Great in theory: our health information is protected.

Lousy in application. 

I can pick up all our prescriptions at our pharmacy, for all members of my family, including my children who are over 18. No big deal, just give month and day of birth (a stranger could easily find on Facebook). I can look in the bag, and see who is taking what medication, and read all the information on the patient counseling sheets (this medication is to treat high cholesterol or depression or whatever). I could toss those same medications out the window.

However, every year when I prepare our taxes, when I ask for a list of all the medications my family took for the entire year, and how much they all cost (to double check my records), I have to write a letter to the pharmacist and have all family members over 18 sign that letter. Even though I already bought all those medications myself. 

Worse, when the copays for hospital stays arrive, at the tune of $1,366, and I want to call someone to make a payment plan, I have to get the permission of my over 18 children to speak with the financial department to set up payment. This is to pay the bill, not to discuss diagnosis or treatment. I said to the financial people, I'm trying to pay this bill. Do you really think an 18 year high school or college student is going to pay this bill? They replied. We still need their permission first. 

marijen

I agree HIPPA can be a joke. I don’t like when I’m in the waiting room and a nurse or MA comes out and shouts my full name. Also there is no provacy at the check-in desk. And at the end of visit, clerical people print my Summary showing all kinds of information on it.