STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

TaRenee

DancingElizabeth I had nipple recon also. I didn’t have to wear compression but did have “window dressing” for 6 weeks that made me look like I had square boxes under my shirts. Once the swelling went down I was really happy with my results. I sleep on my back or my side. No restrictions on that except don’t sleep on stomach, which I haven’t done since my first surgery. I’m sorry you are having such a hard time and are so unhappy. I hope that you begin to feel better after a few days. Best of luck and I’m here for ya if you need a shoulder.

leftduetostupidmods

Cpeachymom, you will need a lot of patience on this one. The tissue expander is the just for that - for expanding your skin in preparation for the implant. It's not actually supposed to look like a breast - maybe just remotely. Also, when you will finally get the implant, it will most likely be positioned very high too. It takes a few months for it to "drop and fluff". I remember mine were almost under my chin or so they felt. All in all prepare for the final look to not be there before close to a year. But guess what? in most cases, it's worth the wait.

Dancing Elizabeth, it's pretty much the same with the nipples. they make them usually longer because they shrink a lot in a few months. but once they do, instead of Frankenipples you'll have there something that at least will look close to the real thing, especially after the color tattoo.

Hazel-Nut

I'm really pissed that my sister in law, who said she'd be out by the end of August, is still living in my house. And I'm really pissed that neither she nor my husband seem to understand that when I said I can't go through this with her in the house I didn't mean I couldn't go through chemo or surgery while still playing hostess. Now is when I need her to leave. Right now is when it's the worst because I can't pick up the phone without hearing more bad news and every day is scary and I'm tired and angry and sad and I need my space to get through these emotions and grieve but I can't. I can't have that space because she materializes the minute I walk through the door and won't leave me alone. According to my husband she's barely home during the day but damn, I can't get ten minutes of privacy in the evenings. I have to come home every day to her dirty dishes in my sink and her garbage strewn everywhere and her freaking nerve to ask whats for dinner while plopping her ass in front of MY computer non stop all the while complaining about the environment because I don't do a good job sorting the recycling. And more than anything I can't get over someone who is a grown human being living as a guest in someone else's house not having the good grace or decency to go live with other family members or friends once discovering that the person who is playing host to you has just had their entire life completely torn apart and they are struggling to make it though the day and the last thing they need is this person sitting around their house all day running up their electric bill.

And did I mention she's 35? I hate this!

WC3

Hazel-Nut:

I know how you feel. She should respect that you need some time to yourself.

SheliaMarie

Hazel - have you bluntly told her she HAS to go?

edwards750

Dang she's got some gall. So your husband won't say anything because she's his sister? You are his wife and you come first. Why is she living with you anyway? Does she have a job or go to school? Would she be homeless if not for your taking her in? She needs to grow up. 35? Seriously?

I love my family and in-laws included(okay not all of them) but I wouldn't want them living with me while I'm dealing with an illness either plus not helping but adding to my housework. That's so inconsiderate. Shame on your husband.

I think it's time to have a come to Jesus meeting with your husband about her. If that doesn't do the trick I would be blunt with my SIL.

We allowed one of my son's friends to move in with us when he got kicked out of his house. Really sweet young man but it was supposed to be only a couple of weeks or so. He moved out 8 months later. Long story. It was a heartbreaking situation then but a lot better today.

Diane

Lita57

This is YOUR HOUSE! Give her and DH an ultimatum. Make a list of chores that she is REQUIRED to do to stay on top of if she wants to continue living with you. (Criminy,,,she can't even wash a damn dish?) and tell her this "with LOVE," and that you need some "quiet time" when you first come home so you can re-ground yourself and settle in for the evening. If she thinks you don't recycle well enough, make HER DO IT!

If she doesn't comply, kick her ass to the curb!

Doesn't seem like she's an easy person to deal with, so if worst comes to worst, CALL THE POLICE and have them escort her out. That would probably piss DH off supremely, but so be it. What if the shoe were on the other foot, and one of YOUR siblings was living there taking advantage of the situation? Of course, men don't see things the same way we do, and he probably thinks you're making way too much out of this.

Unfortunately, no one understands unless they have experienced the delightful joys of cancer themselves.

L

Hazel-Nut

She was living in LA and met her girlfriend who lived out here in DC. Long story short she quit her job and chased tail across the country just to find out that the girlfriend was perfectly happy with the long distance casual relationship and isn't interested in taking the relationship to the next step. Now I have a broke, jobless, homeless, self absorbed adult sized child in my house.

DH did explain to her she had to go but I don't think he said it quite the way I meant him to because he wanted to discuss it with her privately and I was willing to give him that space. It sounds like the conversation was more directed towards letting her know it was time to start looking for a place when what I wanted him to say was it's time for her to go live with her other brother or her aunt up in Philly and she needs to do it now. I'm about to pull the cancer card and go postal on her because this has got to stop. And if DH doesn't like it he can go too. You never want to be that house guest that just doesn't seem to realize when they've overstayed their welcome.

DancingElizabeth

Thanks Everyone!!! Your kind words help me SO much!! Makes me feel like I'm not alone!! Glad to know the Franken-nipples will get less Franken! LOL

This is such a lonely disease - none of my friends have had cancer. (Sadly, I had one friend who died of lymphoma a few years ago).

Hazel-Nut - UGH!! That is just obnoxious!!! I agree with everyone on here - It is YOUR home!! This IS YOUR time to take care of YOU!! I wouldn't be tossing her out the window!!!!!

Pi-Xi

I nearly went ballistic when I saw this on my feed. I reported the ad as misleading. I would also have liked to report it as offensive! Since when does any breast cancer have a cure?

runor

Pi-xi, I so agree! The 'truth', is that this slippery fish disease comes back for so many people, despite doing 'everything they can'. I just read an article about brachytherapy and how patients who get it are no evidence of disease 5 years later, in that breast, in that tumour site. And everyone is whoppee, hooray, we have cured cancer!! What utterly misleading and ignorance promoting writing. Breast cancer IN YOUR BREAST does not kill you! And putting a zap tab in your breast does NOT mean that the disease won't come back in your brain or bones or other organs and take you out of the game. But people who read this just read the words CANCER FREE ... They do not have the whole picture and until you have cancer yourself, you don't really want the whole picture. I don't want the whole picture. I want the whole picture to piss off.

Today I worked my ass off laying miles of flooring. I was on my hands and knees, packing heavy items, cutting and measuring, gluing, rolling. It was exhausting and painful and FEELS GOOD to work hard and get shit done and go to bed sore and tired from living life and being useful and that should be enough. It should be. I hear that message all the time - give thanks, chose joy, be happy, twirl around like a Disney character and be a picture perfect blessing to the world. For me the reality is that I do these home improvements and wonder how many years I will get to enjoy them. Was it worth the expense if I drop over 2 years from now? My last thought/feeling every single night since this diagnosis is sadness. A deep, deep, eternally black sadness. Something was taken away. I am finding ways to live. We all do. We have to. But it's different. There is something wiser, scareder and sadder. So when I read these sorts of nonsense news things that do not paint the whole picture, I am right in your corner. I get mad.

Parrynd1

Pi-Xi, what makes me a little miffed about this ad is that those who do have whatever kind of breast cancer they are talking about makes it seem even worse. We know our cancers suck and I do t think many are blind to the degree of suckiness when it comes to their specific cancer. We certainly don’t need a whole article about how bad off we are!Also all cancers can be deadly so that’s kind of redundant.

Pi-Xi

parrynd1, they were referring to metastatic breast cancer, which could happen with ANY breast cancer. That's what was really infuriating. The woman in the article was Stage I to start, I believe. It was just so misleading.

Parrynd1

I keep seeing articles, ads, or portrayals of BC and they just seem to really miss the mark. Maybe it’s just me and my own experience, but it’s frustrating

SheliaMarie

Parry, the commercials really get to me, so I understand

Snickersmom

Those ads are downright misleading and ridiculous. They make cancer - of any stage - look like a walk in the park.

JJOntario

Met with the specialist to talk about the skin cancer under my eye. They are afraid of my tear duct closing so a stent will be put in for a freakin year and my eye will water. This is to prevent it from tearing forever. The hole will be patched with skin from the back of my ear. My father in law said I'm lucky not to be losing my eye. I'm lucky too that this isn't life threatening. I'm so bloody angry. I don't want a weeping eye, or scars on my face. I want to feel normal. I've had enough...since BC stuff just continues and I'm so so sick of it. I'm 47 not 97. Colonoscopy consult on Monday and mammo and US on Thursday which I had to yell about because my family dr, MO and breast surgeon forgot to book it) no one gets this.

bennybear

Feeling a bit overwhelmed, My daughters two year old lab diagnosed with lymphoma last Monday, died on Friday. Three young grandchildren very upset. I fell and broke my arm last Tuesday, saw the oncologist Friday and they took me off Arimidex as my finger is so swollen, and now the hot flashes that had just settled down have gone berserk and won’t let me sleep. Will maybe start femara later. And I have just had it with all the metastatic drug commercials. At times it just seems too much, I can cope with one or two things but....

Snickersmom

Bennybear - that's so very sad and as we pet parents all know, it's very difficult especially with young grandchildren. They just don't understand and sometimes, we don't either. So sorry for your loss.

And breaking your arm? Good heavens, you have a lot on your plate right now. Have you tried Melatonin for sleep? It's non medicated and I love it. I don't have to worry about waking up feeling drugged.

I hope your issues becomes easier with every passing day.

Parrynd1

When it rains it pours as the saying goes

We found out last month our oldest dog has mouth cancer that only happens in 1% of dogs...of course, right? My hope was for him to be of some comfort to my family when I’m gone since he is my dog and they all love him, but now it will just be a double loss for everyone. We can only handle so much and it’s ok to not be ok sometimes. I’ve thought about going to one of those places where you can break stuff to get out your frustration, but I’m too tired 😆 would probably hurt myself before I broke a small piece of glass. Oh well.

Hope you heal fast (hand and heart). At least it’s cooler now so when you have a hot flash it’s not as bad as full blown summer. I kept an ice pack under my pillow. It helped me a lot! It stays really cold surprisingly through the night and bonus you have a cold side of the pillow you can alternate.

Snickersmom

Parry - that is so very sad. What can they do for him? Yes, it's okay for you not to be okay right now. Do you have a fireplace? Going thru a very difficult divorce years ago, I threw plates (stoneware) and glasses at the fireplace, which was made of stone. It was great therapy for me. Maybe that would work for you. Or if not, just come on BCO and rant and rave as much as you want.

Sending you a huge warmenveloping hug and lots and lots of love and prayers,

Ann

bennybear

thanks snickers mom and parry! Just needed to vent a little!

leftduetostupidmods

Parry, try the CBD oil. My whippet was diagnosed last year in October with liver cancer and gien two months to live, tops. I started him on CBD oil and low fat low protein low carb diet and he's still alive and good, his liver enzymes still a bit high but he's ok.

Parrynd1

Snikers, we don't have a fireplace, but I like your thinking! They can do a mandiblectomy (sorry for spelling) where they remove a chunk of his jaw & the cancer. There is also chemo and radiation they can do for dogs although we haven't looked into it for him so I'm not sure how viable that would be for him. If I wasn't sick we could afford it. We have always done whatever was needed for our dogs and have had accidents that have cost thousands of dollars. Now more than ever he is relying on me to care for him and I can't...not the way he deserves. He is 12 and still runs around like a pup. No exaggeration...I thought he would slow down with age, lol. That's what makes me so mad and feeling guilty. Cancer is the witch that said 'and you're little dog too' If I want to make myself cry I think he knows what's going on with me and wants to be there with me for our next journey. Of course it's kind of silly since he has no control over cancer just like me.

Seachain, I didn't think of CBD! I will definitely try this. Right now he isn't in pain and jumps around liken its all rainbows and sunshine. Dogs are so great. I've been looking up a good diet for him (he is on a good grain free kibble atm), but am scared he will miss out on proper nutrition after reading up on making his food at home. Do you buy yours from a pet store or make it at home

leftduetostupidmods

Parrynd, I cook it for him. In liver cancer they need something low protein, low fat, low carb. Initially he was getting boneless skinless chicken breast, boiled, mixed with a mush of coconut flour and hard boiled egg, of course with calcium supplements, as well as salmon oil and vit d3. After a while he couldn't process the coconut flo nomore, so now he gets twice a day grilled chicken breast mixed with boiled sweet potato, and two snacks, one is a hard boiled egg, the second, fat free cottage cheese. Your sweetheart should be able to eat more than mine. It's not hard, I cook once a week and keep his food in Tupperware in the fridge.

Parrynd1

Seachain, that sounds doable and if it helps him it’s the least I can do. Thank you for sharing

leftduetostupidmods

I forgot to give the dosage on the CBD oil. I buy the 250 mg bottles, he gets one full dropper twice a day and that makes 2 bottles a month. He weighs 35 lbs. I hope it helps your baby as much as it helped mine.

Here's a link for the product - I get it a bit cheaper at my local CBD store (only $32) but they don't have an online store

https://www.purecbdvapors.com/product/trublu-cbd-for-dogs-bacon-flavor-30ml-250mg-cbd/

And this is the link for my local store chain, they sell Colorado Cures brand. You might want to give them a call as the guy at my local store said that sometimes they do ship.

https://cbdplususa.com/pets/

Parrynd1

Thanks Seachain! I’m also going to look around locally as I have a state card that takes off the taxes from the cost. I remember seeing some pet stuff there, but dismissed it at the time trying to figure out what the heck I was doing, haha. My old man is about 45lbs so he may need a bit more dosage wise. I’ll watch him and see how he does to adjust as needed. At least cancer has given me the confidence to help him where he needs it. Before I would have been so unsure, but then again I could have gotten him proper treatment. I’m envious of how oblivious he is to it all. He has no idea how little time he has and acts happy as a clam (I think that’s the saying). I miss how untainted everything was before cancer.

Parrynd1

Thanks Seachain! I’m also going to look around locally as I have a state card that takes off the taxes from the cost. I remember seeing some pet stuff there, but dismissed it at the time trying to figure out what the heck I was doing, haha. My old man is about 45lbs so he may need a bit more dosage wise. I’ll watch him and see how he does to adjust as needed. At least cancer has given me the confidence to help him where he needs it. Before I would have been so unsure, but then again I could have gotten him proper treatment. I’m envious of how oblivious he is to it all. He has no idea how little time he has and acts happy as a clam (I think that’s the saying). I miss how untainted everything was before cancer.

macb04

Parrynd1, I have my dog on my own Thorne Meriva Curcumin. Also look up Artemesia which is an oral medication used in dogs AND people for cancer.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4004853/

https://www.dogsnaturallymagazine.com/artemisinin-and-canine-cancer/