Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!

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  • PontiacPeggy
    PontiacPeggy Member Posts: 6,778
    edited January 2016

    Poodles, I am so glad for you that you survived the funeral and SIL's hubby. I'd stay at a hotel too. What a relief that Dad was buried just about where he should be. I am totally flabbergasted at SIL's jumping into the hole. I have never ever heard of such a thing. That's just plain weird. With all the extraneous stuff going on, I'm not surprised that DH is having some issues. I'll bet he hasn't been allowed to actually grieve him mom. Maybe now that you're home and he feels loved and comforted, he'll feel safe enough to do so. I would guess the atmosphere at SIL's wasn't exactly warm and enveloping. Wrapping my arms around both of you.

    HUGS!

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  • marijen
    marijen Member Posts: 3,731
    edited January 2016

    I wonder what happens if this BIL gets woken after 9pm?

    SickTired

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  • PontiacPeggy
    PontiacPeggy Member Posts: 6,778
    edited January 2016

    I did share that I had BC on Facebook. I found out a neighbor had it 25-30 years ago and that was very encouraging. I received a lot of support. So very lucky.

    What I didn't particularly share was when DH was so very sick in hospice - not all the details and how I was feeling. Those emotions I shared here because I knew you gals would get what was going on and understand it all. I did put on FB that he was ill and then that he was in hospice.

    I seem to have some yardstick I use about what I share on FB and what I don't. Not sure what it is though :)

    HUGS!

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  • PontiacPeggy
    PontiacPeggy Member Posts: 6,778
    edited January 2016

    BIL sounds like a huge fussbudget. That would irritate me no end. It must have been a hardship staying with them.

    HUGS!

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  • MLP3
    MLP3 Member Posts: 534
    edited January 2016

    Poodles... Yikes!! Your sil's actions sound like something out of a movie. Am I wrong to say that was a bit selfish of her to cause that drama during a service? That's something that will unfortunately stick with ppl for a while. I'm so sorry. But glad it's all done and that your mil is resting peacefully next to her dh:

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  • queenmomcat
    queenmomcat Member Posts: 3,039
    edited January 2016

    Mustlovepoodles: sheesh, I'm glad you're home and that's just in reaction to the telling of this saga! My sympathies to you both, and hoping DH has a quiet moment now in which to mourn.

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  • HappyHammer
    HappyHammer Member Posts: 1,247
    edited January 2016

    Poodles- omgoodness! What a difficult trip on all counts. Never heard of anything like that before, for sure, even here in the deep South! Sounds like you and your DH need some time to rest and regroup after all of that...not to mention grieve. Thinking about your family and sending hugs your way.

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  • mustlovepoodles
    mustlovepoodles Member Posts: 2,825
    edited January 2016

    Thanks, y'all. I knew you'd get me. Yes, my BIL is a huge fuss-budget, always has been. From the minute I met him I didn't care for him, but SIL thought his shitz were made of gold. That was 10 years ago and she thinks differently now. I don't know how she stands it, really. And she has spoken of divorce several times. They are in their 60s, his 2nd and her 3rd marriage, so I get the impression that she just doesn't want to rock the boat this late in life; he's so fussy, he'll probably outlive us all. As to the question of what happens if BIL gets wakened after 9pm--it isn't pretty. He can really go on a tear, so we all try very hard not to set him off because he can keep it up for days and days on end. To say he is OCD is an understatement. It's just better for everyone if we abide by that particular rule.

    Honestly, I was so gob-smacked to see my SIL crouched down on top of her mother's casket in the vault, scraping away dirt that I couldn't even say anything. I was just staring down at her thinking, "How is she going to get up out of there?" I finally had to walk away. I think my DH and her DH managed to lift her up out of the ground, but really, Who does that kind of stuff? It was something out of a William Faulkner novel, about a weird crazy aunt, surrounded by equally weird and crazy relatives.

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  • Melclarity
    Melclarity Member Posts: 388
    edited January 2016

    Mustlovepoodles - What an ordeal!!! both staying with the BIL and what the SIL did!!! Honestly I am SURE I've seen that in a movie as MLP said, certainly would have brought up mixed emotions! I'm so sorry for all the drama, something you don't need. Lovely you are home and able to let DH settle in his own time, he was obviously close with her, my heart goes out to him in this moment, I know what its like losing your Mum. 7yrs on nearly for me and Im still not over it, not really.

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  • HappyHammer
    HappyHammer Member Posts: 1,247
    edited January 2016

    Mel- sounds like you and your mother were very close....loss is so hard. I don't think you get over it. You just learn to live with the empty space and find comfort in the memories when you can. My mom just told me a little while ago that she was working in her "office" on some files and she looked around and thought..."Oh, I need to get this stuff put away before Bob gets home." My dad has been in heaven now for almost 3 years. It's just hard!

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  • Melclarity
    Melclarity Member Posts: 388
    edited January 2016

    Happy hammer - Ohhh my goodness!!! I teared up reading that! Im so sorry for your loss too, that is so so hard. I remember not long after my Mum passed, my daughter was 11, nearly 12 she got her period for the time. She was so close to my Mum, they were inseparable...without thinking I picked up the phone to share the news with my Mum and realised and it doubly broke my heart. You do just learn to live with it as time goes on and cherish the memories you had.

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  • Jclc83
    Jclc83 Member Posts: 246
    edited January 2016

    there's no one like your Mom....

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  • Gemma12
    Gemma12 Member Posts: 137
    edited January 2016

    So tomorrow will be 2 weeks since my lx and snb. My underarm and the back of my arm is still numb, but I'm having a sensation that feels like it's chafed. Like I have road rash, but there is nothing on my skin. Is that a normal feeling?

    Amy

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  • mustlovepoodles
    mustlovepoodles Member Posts: 2,825
    edited January 2016

    Gemma, I experienced that chafing feeling too. The only thing that helped was to put powder in my armpit to try to reduce friction. I think the underarm was just a little swollen. Okay, a lot swollen. It's been 5 months and my underarm is still numb.

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  • ChiSandy
    ChiSandy Member Posts: 12,133
    edited January 2016

    Ay, what you’re feeling is perfectly normal. Poodles, I thought my people’s custom of making the mourners help bury the deceased by throwing a shovelful of dirt on the casket was weird, but your SIL takes the cake. (Sounds like you have the germ of a novel in the making should you decide to write it--Faulkner is long gone, after all).

    Brit (can we use real names here?), on the Viking Star there were several passengers in scooters and wheelchairs and at least one service dog. There were six elevators.

    Sloan, would love to get together for a restaurant tour in June! Must-sees on your itinerary are the cathedral at Reims, at least one champagne tour (I think Pommery gives one, but not sure if Veuve Cliquot does; Moet is the largest and Mercier the most fun--but they’re in Epernay); a tour of the Hospices de Beaune and several wineries--easier to get into the small ones to the south, plus gawking at all the intricate patterns of tiled roofs; and a stroll along the Croisette in Nice. Nice is the birthplace of Salade Niçoise; and because of its proximity to Italy you will find great gelato. Other local dishes are pan bagnat (a sort of panino soaked in vinaigrette with veggies, tuna or local sardines) and pissaladiere (think of a cross between a pizza and an onion tart, but on puff pastry). Monte Carlo is very close by, but if you don’t gamble it’s no big deal, except to say you visited another country (Monaco). Might be fun gawking at the yachts, mansions & luxury highrises, but it’s extremely crowded, given that the whole country could fit inside Central Park.

    Chicago’s Restaurant Week starts this Fri. night and runs into early Feb. Trouble is that the specials are all 3-course prix fixes, no substitution, and you’re stuck with the included (and specified) dessert whether you want it or not. Delicious and not pricey, but always a diet-buster, since the carbs are often unavoidable.

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  • Brutersmom
    Brutersmom Member Posts: 563
    edited January 2016

    Amy, That is pretty normal. I had that feeling for several months.

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  • Melclarity
    Melclarity Member Posts: 388
    edited January 2016

    Gemma - That sensation is very NORMAL, its actually to do with the nerves in your arm and post surgery. I'm 7 months post surgery and still slightly numb on outer side of armpit near arm. Really isnt a worry at all. It eventually comes back to normal.

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  • marijen
    marijen Member Posts: 3,731
    edited January 2016

    There are actually stages of numbness! I am almost three months out, still numb but not as numb as in the beginning. It's the nerves reconnecting.

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  • 614
    614 Member Posts: 851
    edited January 2016

    I have so many more pages to go before I reach the end of the postings for today.  Please forgive me for not addressing any issues, however, I have not read them yet.

    Dear Brithael:

    I had to respond to you as soon as I read the article from your former student who became a drama teacher.  I started to cry when I read it.  I was so moved.  What a nice tribute to you.

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  • HappyHammer
    HappyHammer Member Posts: 1,247
    edited January 2016

    Brit- what a lovely tribute from your former student and friend....really, really lovely. You have truly made a difference! Thank you so much for sharing!

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  • Brightsocks
    Brightsocks Member Posts: 159
    edited January 2016

    Two more days to go and I hope I have some answers from the lumpectomy. The worst part is I still will not have a clue what is going to happen. My surgeon will just remove the tape and check out her work. With all the funding that has gone into BC could they not seed up this stage?

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  • LovesToFly
    LovesToFly Member Posts: 1,133
    edited January 2016

    I went to yoga tonight! I've only gone once since my surgery, not at all since chemo!

    My teacher, who was actually my first yoga teacher ever and I have been practicing with for about six years, snapped this picture

    image

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  • LovesToFly
    LovesToFly Member Posts: 1,133
    edited January 2016

    my under arm is still numb, it doesn't really bother me, I only noticed when I touch it or (carefully)shave it.

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  • 614
    614 Member Posts: 851
    edited January 2016

    Dear Melclarity:

    Thanks so much for your kind words regarding my boyfriend.  I am so sorry that you are also suffering with fibromyalgia.  It is very painful and uncomfortable.

    Dear Poodles:

    It is so hard to lose someone close to you, especially your MIL.  You and your husband must be grieving deeply so you do not need to endure bizarre drama at a funeral and an obsessive compulsive BIL as well.  Your SIL must be miserable.  It has to be so difficult to live with a person who is so demanding.  I am glad that you are home so that you and your DH can grieve.

    Dear Gemma:

    What you are feeling is totally normal. 

    Dear MLP:

    I was fine after my surgery and did not need to wear button down shirts.    Good luck with your surgery next week.

    P.S.  My dog is very happy that she is now a part of the "Lumpectomy Lounge"  as an honorary member.  She is now "one of the girls". 

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  • marijen
    marijen Member Posts: 3,731
    edited January 2016

    Newsflash! Joan Lunden has finished chemo. Who knew

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  • PontiacPeggy
    PontiacPeggy Member Posts: 6,778
    edited January 2016

    Gemma, my underarm did not regain full feeling until 15 months after Lx. I didn't have zingers or zaps from the nerves going crazy. My BS had said whatever feeling at a year was what I was likely to have forever. But for me that wasn't the case. I also have found that I need to regularly stretch my underarm or it gets unhappy and annoying.

    LTF, good for you! I can't really do upside down anymore and my yoga teacher said I shouldn't anyway. Bet it felt good!

    HUGS!

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  • HappyHammer
    HappyHammer Member Posts: 1,247
    edited January 2016

    LOVES to FLY- That photo is awesome and so are you!! Power on my friend, power on!

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  • HappyHammer
    HappyHammer Member Posts: 1,247
    edited January 2016

    So....Joan Lunden finished chemo? Have to look that up...did she have a recurrence or???

    BTW: I live in South Carolina....we make winter look great....so, Saturday was sunny and 60 degrees...Sunday...not so much....snow flurries and high of about 50 late in the day..yesterday and today- high in the 30's with clear beautiful blue skies....tonight it's supposed to be 16 degrees.....we see and feel every season...sometimes day to day :)

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  • marijen
    marijen Member Posts: 3,731
    edited January 2016

    Lunden says she was an 'emotional basket case' after successfully completing chemo treatment

    By SARAH JONES FOR DAILYMAIL.COM

    PUBLISHED: 19:40 EST, 18 January 2016 | UPDATED: 19:44 EST, 18 January 2016



    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3405674/Joan-Lunden-says-emotional-basket-case-successfully-completing-chemo-treatment.html#ixzz3xekCJmvn
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

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  • Melclarity
    Melclarity Member Posts: 388
    edited January 2016

    Marijen - That was good to watch. I totally understand what she's saying. The last day of Chemo is incredibly emotional. Once finished the journey doesn't end there not by a long shot, so it is very up and down. I had my Breast Care nurse call me yesterday and she was wonderful, wanted to know how I was physically after Chemo, but not only that mentally and emotionally...how I felt about returning to work, how I felt about my visit with my Oncologist next week. Day at a time, and I find to allow yourself to be whatever you feel in that moment, because thats where youre meant to be. Hardest thing for me is Ive had it twice, and both times Ive been so far ahead of it, but that meant I never had any symptoms, no lumps no nothing...so travel the journey at times it'd be like huh? but theres nothing wrong with you...was always an odd feeling.

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