Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!

Shopgal2

those dogs are adorable. They would sure keep anyone happy

ChiSandy

Cute pooches, MLP3! I’m a cat person (primarily because I’m too lazy to walk dogs at 0-dark-30 in the freezing cold & snow), but I love dogs too--the bigger, sloppier and more affectionate the better.

Brit, the difference in the before-and-after in wig # 1 is like night and day! It really does look like your own hair, and I agree with everyone who says how chic it now is. Before it was trimmed, it made you look 10 years older--now it makes you look like you’re in your 50s.

JerseyRenee01

MLP3:

Your dogs are adorable! Good for you being able to get there on the weekends! It was an 8 hour drive for us.

MLP3

Shopgal- my 3 boys are thebest support group any girl could ask for!

Chisandy- thx! People tell me that about the jealousy, but it's hard for me to wrap my head around it because I'm just not built that way.

Gemma- that stinks about your friend. You give, she takes and then she dismisses you. Kharma always gets 'em;)

etnasgrl

Having cancer has really shown me who my true friends are and I'm very grateful to say that I have several.
The people who I never thought in a million years would be there for me have stepped up in ways that I never imagined. And then, like I mentioned in my last post, those who are thought would always have my back, have disappeared.
Yes, it's sad and it hurts like hell....but I try not to dwell on it. I really want to keep a positive attitude and outlook. Not just in regards to my cancer, but with everything. My diagnosis was such a wake up call to me! Life is too short not to be happy and enjoy it as best you can.

JerseyRenee01

Here are my furry family! Yes 5 of them!! I love my furbabies!! 😘

PontiacPeggy

I have one each kitty and doggie. They ARE great companions. I don't walk my dog when it gets this cold or icy. Breaking something at 70 is not desirable. Love seeing everyone's furbabies.

HUGS!

Gemma12

Here's my best friend lately. Never leaves my side

614

Hello All:

I am trying to catch up and I still have many pages to go.  Sorry that I am not responding to everyone.  However, I must comment now to 2 people:

Dear Poodles:

I am so sorry for the fiasco in Florida.  That is AWFUL.  Sorry again for your loss.  I cannot believe how insensitive that hairdresser was.  I am also bad with comebacks.  I am never able to "think on my feet".  However, I have gained so much weight from the Arimidex/Anastrazole and from being medically induced into menopause through the Zoladex and the oophorectomy.  (My New Year's resolution is to walk every day.)  I saw an acquaintance in December who was so excited and said to me,"Congratulations!!..............  I know that she meant well and that she was happy for me.  I really do not know this woman at all except for the fact that I have met her before.  I couldn't help myself.  I said to her, "No, I am not pregnant, I'm just fat."  I knew that I made her feel bad but I have been through so much.

Dear Melclarity:

I am so glad that you posted about the pain that you are getting that is a side effect of the Radiation.  I have that pain too.  It started sporadically exactly 1 year after I finished Rads.  When the pain hits, it immobilizes me.  It is excruciating.  Then it just goes away and I am fine.  Thank God that the pain does not last long. It hits randomly. Sometimes it feels like the pain is in my heart and sometimes it feels like it is in my lungs. No one could tell me what it was.  I asked all of my doctors.  I had an ekg which turned out fine.  I also had a lung x-ray which was fine too.  I am sorry that you are dealing with this pain, especially in light of everything else that you have endured.  However, I finally have my answer as to what the pain is.  THANK YOU!!   THANK YOU!!

ayr1016

MLP3 awe! all three lab colors Here is my chocolate lab, Annabelle.

614

Dear Melclarity:

Your description of the pain is EXACTLY how it feels to me.  THANKS again for telling me what it is. 

Italychick

etnasgirl same here. A woman I ride bikes with has been there for me every step of the way, and pre cancer we rode together but just casually. She found my wig lady, set up my appointment, rode with me on our bikes no matter how slow I was, had planned to show up at my final chemo with balloons but I got done too early for her to get there. And she won't take anything from me. I managed to convince her I got Garth Brooks tickets for free just so I could give her a present. And I bought her these pants she likes, washed them and then told her they were in my closet but I never got to wear them because of chemo weight gain. My friend of 8 years? Fell off the face of the earth I guess. I'm always surprised by the people that come through and those that don't. But I guess I've learned a lot about the true nature of those around me. And family? All they wanted was for me to get genetic testing so they knew if they had to worry. I wrote them off.

ChiSandy

Everyone’s furbabies are so adorable! Here’s Happy, my 8-yr-old eternal toddler (the wrap is to protect my LE arm from his claws and my black sweater from his fur). Camera can’t capture the purr:

And here’s Heidi, his 10-yr-old big sister (shyer, more of a daddy’s-girl). This is her when she was younger and svelter--she’s sort of camera-shy and has to be photographed unawares these days:

etnasgrl

Italychick....How cool that this woman became such a good friend! That's fantastic. I think that we all need at least one person like her on this journey. It just makes all the crap we have to go through a little bit better, you know?
God, I'm sorry about your friend of 8 years and your family! I can't believe that all your family was concerned about was genetic testing! How pathetic!

JerseyRenee01

awwwww loving the pics of everyone's furbabies! They are the best!!!!!

LovesToFly

Mlp great pics! Love all yheAnimals!

Wrt reconstruction: right now I do not like to look at my breast naked, but it looks perfectly fine in clothing, or even a brawl or bikini (I wore one today). If it remains that way I probably will not looking to reconstruction. If it changes after radiation, I most likely will.

Wrt friends: friendship is a hard thing, and I have found it both surprising who has come out of the woodwork, and who hasn't. Some people I was never very close to suddenly want to be so involved in my life, and I'm one hand I appreciate it, but on the other one I wonder how much martyrdom is involved. Also, because I am young that my kids are still in school, I'm sure there is some gossip about me, and maybe some of the women have tried to get closer to me so they can talk about how they know me and how I'm doing, etc.

On the other hand, some of my friends have really let me down. My best friend in particular. We have been best friends since high school, and mermaids of honor at each other's weddings. She has really dropped the ball. I almost never hear from her, she only text me when I text her, she did not check in with me after my surgery or after chemo. She has not suggested doing anything alone together, only included me on group invites to events. She did not make me food or anything like that after surgery or chemo, nor did she visit. She lives right around the corner. A few weeks ago she planned for a group to go to a local play, she chose the date and bought a group of tickets, and then sent us all an email asking who wants to come. Of course it is the day after chemo, so I'm not planning to go. Was so upset that she didn't check the date with me first, to get tickets for a date that I would most likely be late in my chemo cycle and feel up to it. She doesn't understand everything about chemo, but she knows that I'm planning to work at two out of every three weeks, so she must know there are times I am anticipating feeling better and more energetic and if I would be able to go to work I would be able to do something like that!

Last weekend I actually texted her something about it, not the play but just in general that I've been missing her, and feeling a bit hurt that I've been hearing from her so little. She made all these excuses about work, and being busy, and saying it wasn't on purpose purpose and she wasn't avoiding me. Don't believe her, but even if she is being honest, shouldn't she still apologize? Wouldn't a normal best friend say something like "oh no I'm so sorry. I've been really really busy, but I should've been more thoughtful about what a hard time this is for you, and reached out a bit more" instead of denying it and making excuses? I actually ended up apologizing, for misunderstanding how busy she is! Anyway, she has been texting me a bit more, checking in with how I'm feeling, and also just texting me to shoot the shit… Which is important to me… I want people to just talk to me like normal. I guess even if she didn't apologize, she did get the point.

Another thing that bugs me, some people seem to always be talking to me like they are writing a Hallmark card! "I hope you are feeling well and am thinking of you fondly everyday"----from one of my closest friends!! Lol.

LovesToFly

A picture of me last night, we had a date night. I was planning to put on a wig, but decided I looked sexy and badass

Here is my cat. We adopted her recently after we had to put down our beloved cat that we had for 15 years. She is on a diet. I do not believe it is working

JerseyRenee01

LovesToFly:

Now look whose ROCKIN!!!! You look great!!! Your cat is adorable! Is she really big or is it the way she sitting!??

JerseyRenee01

makes me sad to hear all these friendship stories! Looks like I am certainly not alone in this. Really wonder about people!

ChiSandy

Jill, your kitty looks like my Heidi (who is also, to quote Garfield, “undertall”) does these days. My two beg for catnip & kibble as if they’re starving. Keeping them on a diet (including their low-cal kibble) is a challenge.

LovesToFly

she is that big. 20lbs

We chose her from a rescue website (they said her personality would be a perfect fit for what we were looking for, we got her a couple weeks before my surgery so we wanted a well behaved low-maintenance non-kittenwho liked to snuggle people), they said that she was a "little overweight". They brought us to her from out of town, when she came out of the crate we were astounded, but didn't know how to back out. Not that we care how she looks, but we don't really want to deal with the cat that is going to have diabetes, etc. We decided to keep her, and we do love her ( her personality is perfect!) but I would really like to slim her down a bit (a lot!). Our last cat was 7lbs!

ayr1016

It makes me so sad to hear about all the lost friendships. I am still new to this disease, so I have no idea what is to come with my friendships. I do not have a "best" friend, although I have a few close friends. I did make a huge cut to my Facebook list after my diagnosis and only kept family and people I talk to and see. I have recently joined a newly formed Bunco group (last month was the first game night) and I just went this past Friday. It was odd being there and drinking tea while everyone else was drinking wine. The lady who put the group together (group of 12 women), friended me on Facebook before my diagnosis and I forgot to filter her out when I let everyone know of my diagnosis on FB. So, she knows. She did not say anything to me this past Friday about it. I am not even sure how to bring it up in conversation or do I just keep mum about it. We (The Bunco group) will be meeting 1 time a month. This is my attempt at being social and I really like playing the game (super fun). But, I do not know these ladies much yet. I am one of the ones who left first after the game was ended. I was so exhausted and fatigued (I guess all the stress of waiting for treatment, etc.). To be honest, I got paranoid that they were probably talking about me after I left (about my BC). *sigh* It is probably my anxiety getting the best of me. Sorry to ramble.

JerseyRenee01

Jill,

Wow 20 lb!!!! Glad you gave her a home! 😊

Ayr1016:

You are not rambling! No worries! We are all here to listen & support eachother! 😘

That is great you are doing the Bunco group. It will be good for you. In time you may choose to talk to them about it or you may not. Whatever you are comfortable with. I never advertised on my FB exactly what going on with me. They know something up & I had a surgery. I chose who I would tell.

ayr1016

JerseyRenee01 I initially didn't want to mention it on Facebook, but I was so overwhelmed with talking about it and saying the same information over and over to people that I did to get it over with (I was dodging phone calls and texts). I think I might be one of the odd ones in that I have maybe 50 (or less) friends on facebook lol. Mostly all out of town family.

Loving all the fur baby pics. We just have the one dog, but my kids keep trying to get me to get another one (or a cat). There is no way I could do that right now though

LovesToFly

I am Very open about it on fb sand my blog. It's just my personality...no filter

LovesToFly

I am very open about it on fb and my blog. It's just my personality...no filter!

1step

I'm loving all of these pics! Here are my two fur babies. @Lovestofly and @ChiSandy, adding canned food to your kitties' diets can really help in a weight loss program, if you are interested.

brithael

LTF - you do look badass!

Can't help it, here are my two babies Scout and Sydney - true sisters but from different litters.

Brightsocks

At this point I have only told a few people who are very close. Some of these friends have a medical background which has been nice to learn a bit more. As for expanding beyond that group I am just not willing for they know nothing about BC and I want to avoid all their stress dumping on me. I just want to focus on healing, husband and children.

1step

Yeah, pretty much everyone in my world knows what's going on. There were people I told personally before I ever mentioned it on Facebook, but I know how I am when I am stressed or worried about things, so I left everybody know. I have an active job in a small office (I'm a vet tech), so there can't really be secrets there. I'm involved in my church and wanted the support that I could get there, and the understanding because I am having to dial back, and I am a lot less regular than in the past. I've been practicing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu for the past year, and broke down with one of the instructors when I realized I would have to put my training on hold. That turned out to be a blessing, because the whole team of instructors are behind me 100% and they even are allowing me to continue training (as much as I can) without worrying about the financial burden. There are definitely friends that surprised me (both good and bad), but I guess I was expecting that, and I have just continued to focus on all of the support I've gotten. It's heartbreaking to think that a person that we would consider a best friend would fail to be there through this, though.