The Hermit Club

Jazzygirl

Hi hermits- because I am on a new diet to deal with the blood sugar issues, I am dying for a glass of wine right now! Keeping that out of the mix for the time being, but remain hopeful for the future.

CC- I like how you are managing your time around social interactions so you can take better care of you. I try to do the same here, my work/current client environment is very stressful so I tend to not want to spend time around people otherwise, but know that is not good either. So I am trying to make some mindful choices to do things with other people in my free time when it fits for me, and also know the things that help to restore me that don't require others along for the ride.

And you are very right, are all super sensitive after all we have gone through. I saw something on FB the other day that said "I used to be a people person, but people ruined that for me!" 

And good job on the run and raising money for the research needed. You go girl! And the time in the orchards sounds so lovely. I sent you the link to the pic on PM too.

Teka

Jazzygirl, would you be pissed off if daughter could manage to post your photo of the "white cat in the pile of cabbages" in my biography?

Jazzygirl

Teka- this one? Right click to copy and paste anywhere you want! I am never pissed off (LOL!)

Teka

Thank You!!   I love the photo.

camillegal

That pic is just to cute.

Jazzygirl

Teka- it is adorable, and something you might find this time of the year in the cabbage patch! 

Jazzygirl

Thought for the day. Here's to the place where someone always seems to help someone (or maybe a few folks too!)

Teka

White cat in the pile of cabbages is such a calming photo!

Teka

Sometime I need daughter to teach me how to post photos.

CCFW, on-line can be positive or negative drama.

Skittle, husband & I never visit the kids former schools.   ick! ick!

blondiex46, I would also think the fluid would be the problem.

lizlori

Hi All,

Well stumpy won 10th at 649lbs out of 44 in the pumkin contest, and Pretty boy won 4th at 990.. DH sold them both to a pumkin carver!  So with prize money we came out good...not profit but at least enough to pay for the trailor....

So I spent $20.00 dollars on kitty constumes, and Fritz wants nothing to do with them!! One was a sailor and the other is a cleocatra costume....I know what your thinking...waay too much time on my hands. Or Im regression to a child frame of mind, wanting to play dress up with my cat....i'll keep trying...you will be pleasantly surprised when you see the picks....

Cami-stupid as a green bean?? WTH...made me giggle, so is that a popular saying in your neck of the woods?

Blondie-I admire your strength...way to keep moving forward and having hope..

Lilly-I hope you get to the bottom of the breathing issues. Last time I had breathing problems was when I was pregnant...and I remember how miserable it was. Keep pushing for answers...and solutions with your Doc......

The hermiting deal...Idk...I just don't like being around people, but yet I am lonely.  Went to the bank and the teller started talking to me about BC, and tilted her in that "I pitty you" look. I was polite but kept response brief....but she wanted to talk about it all!!! And there was a person waiting to be helped.  I wanted to scream "YOUR NOT IN MY CIRCLEOF FAMILY AND CLOSE FRIENDS" AND "I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS TO YOU"  but I didn't and I feel guilty for even feeling this way...because she is a nice person....I don't understand people. I just know I will NEVER talk to someone who clearly has/had breast  cancer unless they initiate the topic. It's just so personal...I live with this 24/7 and I don't need or want to talk about this to the flipping bank teller or anyone that I am not close to...I now avoid going in the bank, and I no longer wear my breast cancer jewerly or my pink hoodie sweat shirt....I will go back to wearing it all, when my hair grows back more and I don't look like a cancer patient....thanks for letting me vent.  Hope you all have a good night....I am making chili and corn bread....chili smells soo good...........

lizlori

so the white cat sits calmly on the cabbage and lets the leave sit on its head....and my fritz won't wear his sailor hat....whats up with that?

Teka

Catnip stupor!!

Jazzygirl

Lori- congrats on the pumpkins. I had an outdoor cat when I was around 12 or so and used to dress him up in doll clothing. He did not enjoy it either. How is Fritz doing since his surgery? I remember you said he was hurting after the neutering and declawing. 

I don't like those pitying looks or comments either. I don't get those too much as I kept my bc very private, but know from other experiences in life that people do that pity thing when they know you are going through anything difficult, and it helps nothing. We need love and compassion, not pity. Sorry the teller kept pushing on the subject, especially because she was not even someone who is entitled to know those types of private details. Some people are trying to understand us, many others are just nosey.

And I agree, whether bc or any other health issue, not okay to drill into people for details. You ask people how they are doing and if they want to share, you listen.

And I can also relate to not wanting to be around people, yet feeling lonely. I think we all get a lot of support during treatment, but then we are sort of tossed to fend for ourselves in the new normal. The past few months with going through follow ups and all the rest have been really hard for me, and so grateful I can come to this place where the hermits just get it. I think breast cancer is like grief (and I have gone through both of those these past year with the loss of my mother too). Not something you can really explain to people and we heal in our own time.

You actually sound very good to me Lori. Pumpkins, kittens, and Halloweeny things.

Spookiesmom

Hermiting. To me that means doing what I want, when I want, with or without a person. I'm an only kid, so maybe it's easier for me.



I wear a tshirt frequently that says "I❤️Dogs, it's humans that annoy me". And it's true. I'd really rather be with them most of the time.

Skittle

Camille... You are the top green bean in my book!!  I love your wisdom and heart.  I wish I could sit down with you and soak up all the Italian stories and warmth and just you...  but you're right.  I teach in a super high-pressure school.  We're under constant scrutiny.

Lori... congratulations on pumpkin successes!  Impressive.

Hermits, new and seasoned, I agree with each...  we have all changed, treasure privacy, abhor pity faces, and need energy to cope with what was once taken for granted.  Normal is gone and we rebel against that theft...  sigh.   I treasure you all.

Teka

Jazzygirl

camillegal

Hi guys, I feel like I haven't been keeping up and not because I don't want to or cuz I'm busy LOL. I cancelled a couple of Dr things this week--nothing that important I just hae still all the Drs. I just want alone time. And since my nails are flling out agin my fingers hurt more--so i thought my typing was bad before, so hange on this wil be terrible, hahaha

Lor Congrats on the veggies--that is a lot of work, I never knew that--u and u'r DH must really enjoy that. Ad no grean bean just came to mind. no expression. I wish I could dress up my cat, she won't even wear a collar.Our dog is going to be Superman--my kids are so origianl, he'll allow it tho.

Spookie I agree with u'r kind of hermitting. I never (when I was younger) really did what I wanted, it was always what I had to do, and now I just feel what is special to me I want to do. And I don't even go and get my meds anymore, it I know this sounds terrible but it got to the point where all the help knew me and really got into it in front of people and then the people would start asking me. I know they were being kind really but I was shopping and didn't want to be reminded about it. Altho it's very open heare tht's what is fine for me and I care enough about all of u to listen and care too. And most of us are on other threads too. I'm on a couple and they're fun and caring, just one serious one tat I never hace a clue what anyone is alking about but once in a while I pick up some knowledge.

Oh this Sat evening my Brother is having a BD prty at a great restaurant and I get to see most of the people I want--alot I don't know well, but I get to be with my sister who u all know I adore and we always sit by one another, it's going to be warm so I'll wear something a little summery and I have the turquoise jewelry to go with it--I have to get myself all together way ahead of time. hahaha--It's like casual dressy, but my dressy stuff is all comfy so it's not so bad. I know this is boring but I have to plan like crazy in order to build up getting properly dressed with the right nail polish for the nails I have left and I'll wear bandaids on the others.OK I'll stop for now anyway. Tomorrow is Hump Day already--I love that commercial with the camel.

Jazzygirl

Cami- I hope your dinner on saturday with your family is very special. Enjoy getting ready for it with all the pretty things you are planning for polish, jewelry, and the like. As we know, time with the people we love is what matters most. We always love to hear from you here.

camillegal

Jazzy Thank you, and everytime I see my sister is my favorite time (my cousins too)

lizlori

Thanks Jazzy for noticing I sound good......I think you are right...boy it sure is a battle with this BC crap....but maybe my new normal is just around the corner...

Cami- I too enjoy the planning of getting ready for an outting. I am glad you enjoy your sister and others. Most important you deserve to have some fun!!

Teka-yep catnip is the next plan of action with Fritz....

Gotta run out and uncover my garden friends. DH has plastic over the watermelon plant...Have a good day everyone...

camillegal

Lori u'r so cute LOL

PS--I had to show my GS the pic of u'r "friends" they are so amazing and he was gawking he thought u were some kind of magical persom--I tell hime there's magic and angels in life--I know but he'll find out soon enough.

Tomboy

hi evereyone. i did my sacramento trip, and it was kind of wonder-awful. i have such a mixed op family, that parts of it were intensely hard to do. i even made my own mother cry, i think she may be loosing her short term memory, and frankly it scared us both. and by the time i realized it, she had to take a tranquilizer, and coulnt let me comfort her. SAD! im not going to keep on about it here, but boy, did i miss bco! for 10 days! and my sweet man! and my messy house! and my little volkswagon that needs a bath! and a brand new bag of clay! n even herceptin infusion! and trying to figure out whats for dinner! my bed...

camillegal

Kath I liked the way u explained this. I'm sorry it wasn't a great trip for u--but u'r home now and enjoy everything u have.

Tomboy

thanks camillegal. nice to be greeted here. i just felt awful, cause i am the only one of her kids left, that she really gets along with, and it just really made me feel bad. i told her i needed to rest, and she would wake me up to talk to me, after keeping me up till past one everynight, and it made me kinda snarky. and smoked way too much cause i wuz nervous. not a good combo to me. i think her and i both are relieved i am home! but i love her anyway. so today, taking care of things around home, and making 1 0r 2 playdates with good friend or two. am working on a collage made from butterfly images for the wall of my lymphedema sleeve fitter. she is really nice, and has mild lymphedema in her feet, that she came by naturally, so she really understands. Lighten up those walls with color!

Teka

kathec,

I do the same to daughter before she takes off to see BF.

Trying to make-up for lost time!

Jazzygirl

Hi Kathyec- glad you are back from your trip. I am sure it must be hard for your mom with her aging challenges, and also what you are going through as well. I sure her seeing you helped. It is hard to be around family dynamics sometimes after all we have gone through. Trust me, we all have our family dysfunction (I could fill up many pages on that here).

I think it is good to come home and be in the comfort of your own bed, around your people, etc. I still like traveling myself, but there is no place like home!

Welcome back and we are glad to hear from you here!

Teka

Daughter just proved to me, once and for all, that she is one with nature by petting 2 cold bumblebees moving slowly on the flowers.

Tomboy

thank you Teka, for giving it to me from a mother's perspective. i never had children of my own, but my sister swears she had mine! I love what you just shared about daughter n bumblebees! i was a kid like that!  & Jazzygirl, thanks, and you know? ive been texting and calling each member of my family a little more, like one each day,cycling thru, just to give them a chance to talk. i have been pretty absent from their lives, even before BC, and i think i do have a calming effect on them, mostly, n know they love me. But to tell the truth, here on bco, is kind of where i really love. The women here are amazing and i have learned much, & how to do it with just a little more grace. Peace out!  And was that you, jazzy, who posted that picture of that man i am in lust with? Snakepants? that bone structure? that hair? wait. i have a perfectly adequate man o my own!

Teka