Fuzzy's Romp Room

dunesleeper

Gail, I hope you enjoy your 5 weeks of vacation. Do you have any plans? Any fun stuff? Doctors (groan)?

There have been a few of us crying a few tears today. That sucks. I'm sorry for the heartache that is causing these tears. Life just keeps effing with us. Enough already! We've had enough heartache life! What the hell do you want from us?

Ugh! Grrrrrr.

Hugs to all of you.

What's going on with you, Lily? I wonder if that is what is going on with me, feeling like life is over, and yet . . . the days keep dragging out and the shitstorms keep coming. I guess life isn't over.

Anyway, Hugs to y'all.

dunesleeper

Finally in bed. I hope I will be able to fall asleep. I did have to take some of that xanax. Nurse Nancy (the psych nurse practitioner bitch) is quite a destructive little bitch. The psychiatric profession draws some real jerks. It is rare to get a decent one. I had a great one years ago but can't find him. He vanished. Wayne Bohannon. Anyone know him? LOL. He is a psychologist anyway so couldn't deal with the meds.

Last night I went to the recital of a friend. Wow. He played great. Here's the youtube address if you want to check it out.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LY2p8n7wQg&list=UUvr7-34LTq-UeRyvXBa2Evg&index=1

I hope you are all ok. It's awfully quiet.

ridergirl

dunes hope you get some sleep love.....i'm hating on every1 that makes us feel bad....

dunesleeper

Thanks rider. You get some sleep too girl.

lisamarie68

here I am up for work this morning and I see you ladies were having sleep issues last night , wow .. I could not sleep last night for anything . I am so tired this morning and have to work 12 hours .. grrr .I am having coffee and trying to wake up ..crying seems to be the thing to do these days. I am so fed up with all this stuff .. Dune I hope you find someone who can give you what you need as far as your medicine and a compassionate ear . I have some NY state cancer insurance and noone takes it , I tried to find a therapist to talk to but they all charge a lot of money .. my medical doctor put me on zoloft, then viibryd and I took myself off both of them because they just made me feel 20 times worse ... now I just take Lunesta at night to sleep . I am out of my Rx so hence the bad night sleep ... I took 2 benedryl and ugh don't work anymore for me to sleep...

 I have a busy month ahead as Feb 1st I move to my new place then Feb 12th the surgery again , I feel so darn alone and it really sucks . I am just so grateful I can come here and get some virtual love and hugs .. 

Gail I hope you get to relax on your vacation ...  

I dont know who or what I left out , I will re read and catch up at work and write....

Hugs girls 

SherylB

Lisamarie68,

So sorry you are sad. I have experienced that more than anyother emotion. Reach out!! I am a person who isolates and felt so alone, well I went on Facebook, and started texting everyone on my phone, (pratically) and the love has come my way in waves. I pulled away from everyone they didn't pull away from me. I too have therapists and that does help me. You are not alone as long as you can come to this website it has really helped me. Just get on here and say what you need to say. Verbalizing what you feel does take power out of the feeling. Good luck at work today, remember to breath and put yourself first.

Hang tough, Sheryl

lisamarie68

Thanks Sheryl, 

  I am very glad I have a place to come  

ridergirl

So sorry for all you ladies who are having problems with Drs, meds etc. Thus far I have been lucky in terms of Drs that are willing to give me enough medication to control my symptoms, although I am about to ask them to increase my dose of Effexor so I may encounter my first resistance there. Wondering if it has anything to do with the stage we are at, if being stage IV they aren't trying to fix me just keep me comfortable.

Hospital is always offering me a social worker to talk to but I really haven't, not so much a talking person, at least not face to face.  What I find here is way more valuable to me, and we can all do this at our own pace.

Hope everyone has a bright spot in their day today, mine is still lasting from yesterday when I found out I don't need bone surgery.

dunesleeper

Keep that brightness shining ridergirl!

I am about to start drinking some coffee. I put it off in hopes of going back to sleep. It seems like I don't want to deal with anything, thanks to Nurse Nancy. I should be fine, though. I will just tell my primary care doctor what happened and ask her to do the prescribing. If she wants to continue to decrease the meds, I'll deal with it. Ultimately, it is my goal to be free of these drugs. The timing just kinda sucks. I won't go back to Nurse Nancy though. She just ain't right. We need to surround ourselves with supportive people. She definitely is not one.

Lisamarie, OMG! You have to work 12 hours today? You go girl!!!! Did you get any sleep at all?

Have a good day.

lisamarie68

Dune , I got some sleep .. it was a rough night without my lunesta , I kept waking up .. got up at 6:20am .. yes my shifts are 12 hours .. gotta do it again tomorrow .. everyone usually off weekends , I work every weekend .. so everyday to me seems same ..lol ...its only 12:30p here and I am tired .. it just seems later .. guessin my day will drag on ... 

Rider .. You seem to be in good spirits .. keep your head high ... 

Hugs to everyone ..

dunesleeper

I'm trying to create a DVD that will play in my TV's DVD player. I had borrowed a Yoga for Breast Cancer video from the Breast Center. Before I returned it, I set up my video cam and recorded it playing. So now I am trying to get it into avi format so that hopefully Windows Movie Maker will use it to burn a DVD that will play on a DVD player. It didn't like the mpeg format for sure.

I managed to take a shower, which turned out to be a great place for crying. I'm tired of crying. When I was in acupuncture school we had an assignment to "embody" a person who is not like us. At the time I was, of course, depressed, and I chose the role of Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins. The past couple of days I have wanted to "embody" Victoria Barclay (sp?), in Bonanza. She played a very strong woman. I doubt she cried in the shower.

thefuzzylemon

Hello Romerettes!!! LoveEssa and GG- sooooo great to see you!!! We get kinda panicked 'round here when our sisters disappear!! But oh the joy when you pop back in!!

Veggy...tuck n roll baby!!!! Geez Louise! That's a lot of air time!! I hope you are not injured.

Therapy...yes....this room has given me effective and instant therapy...better than anything else. I have told my therapists and my new therapy group about this. Im Totally serious. I love you all.

Sassy....Hmmm....must be doing a lot of projects lately? LOL!!!

I went to see my mama today. She's still at the hospital. Hopefully next week she'll be freed.

My baby Puppy got a bath tonight. Oh my Gooooooosh....when he's in the bath, he's just a little mouse. Very well behaved, no fuss at all. Now, once he gets out of the bath, all hell breaks loose!!!! He runs through the house like a demon..

goes right to my DH's pillow on the bed and rolls all over it...fights the towels....barking and growling the entire time!!! Its hysterical!!! It just happened so of course I had to share...

Anonymous

Thankfully I am not sore today. I stayed home and stayed away from the stairs.

I called my old therapist. She gave me her phone number. She is so upset with my news. She gave me verification to be bitter. How else am i supposed to feel. I told her about talking to you all. How here I know I am not alone in my feelings. She said that it is the best place to be, I agree. She was hoping things were better for me. Her languge was worse than mine.

When we had our sheltie, he would run around the house after his bath wiping his face all over the floor. We would be doubled over laughing. I miss him.

Hugs for all!!!

FireKracker

Veggy-just wondering if you therapists language is worst then mine....is it?

ridergirl

Looove doggie baths...how they go nuts when they r all clean

thefuzzylemon

I like that therapist....when your not wrapped up in corporate/legal binding, you can talk to people the way we neeeeed to be talked to...which sometimes includes F words and other colorful emphasizing words. Very effective.



Granny....didn't you letter at state for a potty mouth?? LOL!!!

thefuzzylemon

It hurts to laugh but I couldn't help it! He absolutely loses his mind!! Running and jumping...literally leaping off of everything!!



WHY CANT A BATH HAVE THAT EFFECT ON ME????

LOL

thefuzzylemon

Oh shoot...Dunes...did you ask about the numb fingers? That can totally be from.chemo and could go on for a long time. Have you talked to a doc about it?

Sorry, apparently I get flashes of things that I read hours ago!! LOL

ridergirl

i'm having trouble with the numb fingers right now and home nurse as well as RO i saw yesterday said its from the chemo.  Also said the effexor i'm already on is what they often prescribe to help it soooo....

lisamarie68

Good Morning girls , trying to keep the head up today .. I feel at a loss .. time is ticking an still noone knows what the heck is going on .. PS office called thursday and asked if I was ever measured .. uh no .. wow she said really we gotta get u in here to do measurements .. I told her about whippetmom and she said to let her know what she recommends .. and she will consult her lady .. WTF ...so I am gonna go for another surgery to come out looking just as bad.. and the PS says he thinks they look amazing right now .. I think Not ... they are too wide ... too flat like hamburgers .. really ..and the sshoulder pain is crazy , I hurt so bad .. not sleeping well at all .. because I am out of my Lunesta .. need to leave work at some point today and put RX in .. I am 5 foot 95lbs an rib cage is 30 .. I am thinking I need a high profile implant .. then she says look at photos on lookingyourbest.com and see if there is anything I like to look like and print it out .. OMG noone is as small as I am on there .. no way to figure this whole thing out ..

I think the more this goes on the worse I feel ... blah blah blah and should I go sit in a corner and just cry .. what good will that do reeally .. I am just sooo tired of all of this crap ...I am working yet another 12 hour shift .. I am tired an cranky .. tomorrow will be a good day as I get to babysit my granddaughter ... she always makes me smile ..  

Hope everyone is having an okay day today . I am truely sorry for ranting and raving ... aand the smoking thing well it's not going good at all .. seems it is my only way out of myself ... although it is killing me .. ahhhh well I need to shut up 

Lisamarie

dunesleeper

I don't know how you do it lisamarie: in pain, worried about surgery, and working 12 hour shifts. Hopefully you will get some more feedback from whippetmom and be able to move forward from there. I bet you never thought you'd be so focused on boobs! Enjoy your granddaughter. I can see your big smile as you are holding her in your profile picture.

ridergirl

Just a question for someone who has had rads....about the tatoos...does it hurt when they do them? Is it like a regular tattoo would be?  Wondering cause i'm having rads to hips and spine and not looking forward to the feeling of someone tattoing my spine! I know they r tiny...just another worry that popped in to my head while i was sitting here..

luvmygoats

Ridergirl - Mine were done with a syringe I'm pretty sure just like a tiny injection. Barely under the skin not even as much hurty as a TB test. The least hurt I've had. Used to get the same perfect alignment each time. Easy peasy!

Anonymous

The tattoos are nothing. Its a very light pick. I was scared to have them. Blood tests were more painful. I'm a big baby when it comes to needles. I still can't watch.

ridergirl

Thanks ladies that doesn't sound too bad. I too am a big baby with needles, although I do have a tattoo. As usual you all have taken a load off my mind

Love you!!!

FireKracker

Oh yes the tattoos are like a tiny pinch.I have a tattoo and it was nothing like the real thing.I was jumpin all over the place with the real thing.In fact the guy kept tellin me THIS IS FOREVER....STAY STILL,,,

AND i too cannot look when they draw blood.

thefuzzylemon

Rider...I would Think that the spine ones might be easier because you can't watch! I hope that's the case anyway. Honestly, I don't remember my first set of tattoos. I needed a second set and they were not nearly as gentle on me as the first time....they wanted to make sure we wouldn't have to do it again....

crog234

Rider..... Like others have said the tattoos were not bad at all. I am like most of you and do not like needles. Can not watch when I have blood drawn and of course I only have one arm they can use and they usually have to stick me more than once.. Of course the arm they can't use has much better looking veins, figures huh!!!!!!!

thefuzzylemon

Crog....isn't that always the way!! That last stay in the hospital they couldn't tell me enough how great my veins looked in the left arm...I swear I Could have punched them nurses so many times.

So, I've been a 49ers fan since the early 80's. They sucked for a really long time. Tonight, they are playing the Packers (Wisconsin team)...its me and my oldest watching it together and she's a huge Packer fan!! She's sooooo funny and is getting kinda irritated with me cheering on the Niners! Its really comical!

luvmygoats

Well Fuzzy you both have it your way it's tied at the moment