Spirited and Lively Older Women Thread

Moderators

Happy New Year to all of you amazing women!

Alyson

Happy New Year to all my wonderful friends.

SoCalLisa

suzie14

Made my donation, but didn't see where I could do it in a person's name.  it feels so good to give back even tho my measly amount will NEVER amount to what I have gained from this site.  It's been a life saver.

gentle hugs, sistahs

3jaysmom

3jaysmom

starting early, this year.. be back later...3jays

chabba

QCA

Happy New Year to all of you wonderful friends!

BarbaraA

Happy New Year to all my pals!

Here's to a great 2012 for all!

Dilly

Best wishes to all for a wonderful 2012 - filled with health, hope, happiness...peace and joy.

BarbA, we loved watching sing-off - sorry you missed the Pentatonix, I'd like to hear a first-person review of their show.  We have tkts for the Boxcars next week, and John McCutcheon the week after...

SoCalLisa

L_C, we watched all the epidsodes of sing off..my DH graduated from Dartmouth and he was rooting for the Dartmouthaires the whole way.(we go to his 50th college reunion in June) , but I knew the Pentatonix would win, they are fantastic...

Anonymous

   The best thing working does for me is that it gives me some sort of a reference as to what day it is....when I have an extra day off or if I work something other than my normal schedule (like Friday I worked for the dentist I never work for on Friday and it was all day) I am all screwed up.  It seems like Sunday today, sort of, but it also seemed like Sunday yesterday and now I am going to be off tomorrow so really won't know what is going on.

  I have been trying to clean today, but it is a slow going process.....got one bag filled with Xmas wrap, bags and gift tags etc, threw a bunch of mail out that I am not sure what I was hanging on to it for....got my gifts put away and put ones I am going to regift (I know that is terrible, but a lot of things I just do not want or need) in the closet where I keep things like that.....Then every so often I have been coming in here and writing letters to people I did not get a chance to send Xmas cards to and also have been emailing.  I now have an active correspondence going with that woman I stumbled across who is something like a 5th cousin.  She's got some of her facts wrong, but is sticking with them.   We have also been sending some pics back and forth.  I found a whole box of old negatives at my Dad's of relatives going way back which Tim scanned for me and somehow there is a process that he was able to turn them into pics on the computer.  Now the big problem is some of the people I have no idea whom they are.   I can recognize my grandmother and grandfather and my mother and the great grandparents and aunts and uncles, and even some of my grandmother's friends from photos my mother had shown me, but there are people who will never be identified and the big problem is all of the people who would know are dead.  My father is no help.....I found that in some of his old school pics, I was the one who was able to pick him out and he would ask Are you sure that's me? and I would say Yes, Look at the ears.  He had very large ears, but sort of grew into them.  They actually sell old pics in antique shops and I always wonder Why would someone want pics of people they don't even know?  

I am going to fix a small pork roast, cook some cabbage and fix some sort of potato for dinner.....cabbage means we will have money all year, right?  Ha, we shall see about that.  One of my chemo friends was telling me that they told her she has to pay her out of pocket the lst visit this year.....I have never heard of such a thing, but she said they told her this in a letter.  She is on medicare so maybe it is different, but if I have to do that, it's something like $5,500 or maybe even $6,000 by now and no way can I do that.   Applied for a new 0% credit card just so I can put my co-pays and the 15% we are responsible for on it and will use it only for my oncology visits as I did last year.   The pharmacy said it was too soon for me to refill anything so guess that will mean a big fat Rx bill next week.  But I guess all we can do is pay since you really can't put a price on a life.

     Back to work...hope to have the table unearthed by dinner time.   Once I get everything picked up, I am renting a rug shampooer again since I know one of the dogs has been using the rug as a toilet again.   Fondue parties are starting next weekend and will be going on all of Jan....won't bore you with pics of the stringing cheese this year. 

chabba

Marybe, Colector's of old photos often don't care about the faces.  A friend who was head of the Theater Department at my undergraduate college collected photos mostly for the clothing  and hair styles as well as furnishings etc. that might help in costume or set design.  He also liked examples of interesting character types.  My husband is an aviation historian who has collected hundreds of pics of pilots standing by their aircraft.  Unless the pilot is famous he doesn't care about the person, just the airplane.  Same reasoning applies to cars, boats, trains, etc. - even houses and other building types. 

SoCalLisa

Chabba, your DH  will have to come down and tour the USS Midway Museum here in San Diego..lots of history there . My DH is a volunteer on board one day a week

chabba

Sometime in the late  70's DH and I were in San Diego for, I think it was for an Aviation Historical Society Convention.  We went to a funky little museum that was just one small room.  It was unguarded, unlocked and unoccupied except for us.  They actually had quite a few rare items.  Among the artifacts were a WW2 Japanese kamikaze helmet, gloves and boots.  DH is somewhat of an expert on WW2 pacific aviation and has an extensive library and collection of artifacts related to that area.  One of the artifacts is a kamikaze flight suit and bandanana found in a cave in the Philippines after the war.  On the way home we joked about how easy it would have been to steal them and have the whole uniform.  We even talked about donating what we had to the museum but a couple of days after we got home the museum burned and nothing could be saved. 

barbe1958

That's too funny Chabba...weird funny, not funny haha. I guess the kamikaze pilot changed his mind and got out of the identifying uniform so he wouldn't have to do "it". So sad the relics were lost, what a bloody shame!!

BarbaraA

Wow, interesting story Chabba. It is a shame when pieces of history are lost. I cried when I read that the rioters had burned Napoleon's Eqypt Library.

Anonymous

Ok, I am too lazy to go find that link What cheesed me off today, but I need to vent and am going to risk sounding like a real bitch and an ungrateful one at that.  My father, my dear sweet father, who I know I am fortunate to have, DRIVES ME NUTS.   I guess he must be lonely or something because he has been calling me up at least once a day....just called a few mins ago to tell he how yesterday was a very frustrating day as he could not find the Rose parade and then found out that it is on today....I don't know if that is right or not as I am not planning on watching the parade or the game.  Then he asks me if we went to the movie yesterday and I said No, we went on Sat.   I of course had already told him this yesterday and then he wants to know what we saw.....this I had told him also.  Now I realize the man is 89 yrs old and even I forget things, but this is really starting to bother me....not so much the fact that he is forgetting, but it seems to me he is  getting more needy and I am not being negative here when I say he is going to outlive me, so he better get used to me not being around and Jeeze what should he do, get a hobby or something?  I worry about him enough as it is without having to worry about how he is going to end up when something does happen to me.  My sister lives on the West Coast, my husband has already helped my father out in many ways like by taking over the cable and phone bill and paying for the downstairs bathroom and I cannot expect him to take on the job of looking after my father after I am gone.  This is a big worry and one I do not want.  It would be a lot simpler if we did not live 120 miles apart, but I am not ready to move back there.  He told me a long time ago the last thing in the world he needed was another woman, but I think it would have been nice if he had found someone after Mama died just for the companionship......for sure that is not an option now.   Suggestions?  

BarbaraA

I am surprised the local widow ladies haven't scooped him up as of yet. They are pretty predatory around here. Maybe he could join a bridge club. That will keep his mind active and get him socializing.

Anonymous

He doesn't like bridge.   My parents used to be in a bridge club,but usually the group would just end up eating and drinking and very little bridge was played.  If he didn't find computers so frustrating,he could play scrabble or something. 

BarbaraA

Poker? Backgammon?

macatacmv

Marybe, check out local elder services. In my neighborhood we have a co. called Vineyard Village, for a membership (not sure of amount, but not unreasonable) they will drive you to and from appts, have services like plumbing and electrical that won't take advantage of elders etc..... My father passed away in March and he lived next door to his sister, both alone. I know that feeling of worry. He was 93 and she is 97. I am the only realitive living in the area and was running myself ragged. This service was a godsend. My aunt is not driving anymore, the service sends someone over they go up to the door walk her to the car and make sure she gets inside again. They do weekly activities with groups of elders, too. Like the high school does a lunch for them once a month and they took them to holiday programs. She really likes it. She is a real hoot. We always joke , she will outlive us all! She of course wants to "help" me through my treatments and has suggested she move into my house

Anonymous

 ooooh, ugh, I just had a vision of older people playing strip poker.....might just be enough to get me started on a diet. 

QCA

I sympathize with you, Marybe, about your father, and unfortunately there are no easy answers.  My dad did remarry a couple of years after my mother died, a lovely lady who we all loved, and the only grandmother my children knew as my oldest was only a year old when my mother died.  But, daddy's wife (16 years younger than he) developed early alzheimer's disease, and it was he who wound up caring for her.  She then spent 8 years in a nursing home, at private pay, which almost totally depleted dad's savings to the point that if he'd lived much longer he'd have had to go on medicaid, which he bitterly opposed doing.  (By that time I was handling everything for him and wouldn't have ever told him anyway.)  He was in a nursing home himself one year before he died at 93.

Kathy

marlegal

Marybe, first of all, no apologies necessary to us - ever - for venting. Aging parents are a burden no matter how much we love them. Also, as cruel as it may sound, you have to concentrate your energy on your health and care, and not drive yourself nuts worrying about how he'll cope. He sounds like a strong man, even if needy at times, so I am sure that somehow, he will in fact cope. For the present, I agree that you should check into available services for the elderly, even if it's just a volunteer who visits daily so he has someone to talk to and won't feel the need to call you repeatedly. Good luck hon.

Elisimo

Marybe, it is okay to vent anytime here.  We have all had times we needed to do that and there is no need to apologize for doing so.  We love you and all are here for you anytime you need us.  Take care of yourself and try not to let your father drive you too crazy.  Love you my friend.

BarbaraA

Marybe, checking with the elder services in his town is a really great idea. They do have lots of activities and outings.

barbe1958

Marybe, I was going to say this last night but thought I'd think about it first. I still feel the same way. Your sib on the coast HAS to step in to help. No two ways about it. If you back off that may happen. Do you know how he's treating her? Does he call her all the time? (sis not bro, right?) Have you considered Alzheimers???? Can you get him assessed?

My parents died young, Mom at 67 and Dad at 71 so I've been saved the dramatics. My Mom would have made my cancer all about her and my Dad would have died when I didn't get recon....sigh.

Anonymous

  I sometimes think it is alzheimers, but Tim and others are always telling me He's just old Marybe....and he really is pretty with it for the most part...other than buying that car after he totalled the other one.  He does repeat himself though.  He does stay in touch with my sister, but my sister has never really been all there....I think she was probably autistic or had some sort of learning disability that was never diagnosed and she was about 4 yrs behind in school, BUT she did graduate from college without flunking out twice ( as I did when I went to the big campus) although she never could get a decent job and ended up going into the service where she met the jerk she married.  Since she was never able to get a very good job, my father has helped her a lot, but she and her kids both are the kid who do not really say thankyou much and also when they call you always know they want something.  He has bailed my sister out many times.  So that is the story on her.  However, she did become a CNA and worked at quite a few nursing homes (until she got into big trouble at work and was sued by the state for criminal neglect and even had to do some jail time for it)  so in truth if it ever came down to it, she would be better at taking care of my father than I would.  But she has no real desire to move back to OH and my Dad prefers my company to hers, which is not right, but that's the way it is. 

Guess we all have out colorful family histories if we ever got around to telling them all.

He's not so bad that he cannot live on his own YET, and I guess I should be more understanding, but I really do not want to have to take care of him....or anyone for that matter.   As someone said, I have enough on my platter.

Dilly

Marybe, there may be some "council on aging" or something similar, in your Dad's area. Does he have a phone book you can look in when you're there?  These councils are set up to be sort of a clearinghouse for available services or resources.  There may be a number of services available that help him, for free or very cheap.  Sorry, it's another thing for your to-do list, but it might save energy in the long run.  (((Marybe)))