You know you're a cancer patient when....

badger

Love this thread!  I'm 2 mos PFC, hair's coming in, super duper short. I've learned that:

You know you're a cancer patient when...going commando you catch people looking speculatively at your head, trying to decide hmmm did she cut her hair that way on purpose?

Lady_Madonna

...when having a conversation is like playing a game of Charades as you try with all your might to come up with that simple word that eludes you because of chemo brain (see above, i.e. "ribs!")

mtndawn

  

 When you feel like a newborn:  hairless, always pooping, and ready for a nap at any time.

 When you actually use those yellow gloves to do the dishes. 

ruthbru

You get in the car to drive over to your son's track meet, and you have to pull over because you can't remember where the track is (and it's a place you have been to hundreds of times over the years)!

jenn3

when you take off your bra (w/boobs) and realize that you wore one boob sideways the entire day......

jdootoo

When you look forward to your 3 hour Benadryl nap during chemo because it is the only time you will sleep for the next 6 months!

One love, Jackie

kittycat

When you look at a newborn and realize he's got better hair than you! 

gillyone

when you shave ONE armpit for the first time in a year. Did that today.

Latte

when you debate whether to pluck your one full eyebrow so it will match your almost non-existent eyebrow (am thinking about that at the moment...)

lvtwoqlt

When you have to take your own automatic bp cuff to the doctors office because you know more how to take your bp on your ankle than the nurse does.

KittyDog

when you realize you have been sitting in the same spot all day and have not gotten up once.  and you don't care you haven't moved.

gillyone

you just got your second hair cut in a whole year.

gillyone

when you sit around all day doing nothing and love that moment when you go to bed and put your head down on the pillow. And somehow sleep all night.

squidwitch42

it's normal to get out of bed by sliding to the floor and crawling across the room to "get going"

KittyDog

When a trip to the grocery store calls for a nap when you get home.

kittycat

When you've run out of TV shows to watch.  I'm now on the Travel Channel (even though I can't go anywhere - it's like pretending to be on vacation)!  LOL!!

flopsy

WWhen you are trying to put your BMX bra on and your boobs keep falling out on the floor and then one hits your big toe and you are now dancing around and cursing because your toe already hurts from chemo SE.  WOW-it just keeps getting better and better.

When you call your best friend by the name of someone she is not fond of.  GOTTA LOVE CHEMOTARDEDNESS.

When your daughter calls from Okinawa and you can't have a conversation because you are in such a chemo fog and eveything you say sounds ridiculous.  Thankfully, she has forgiven me for my idiocy.

Irishtess

Couldn't sleep (not even with the Ativan), so was trolling through the forums & stumbled onto this thread ~ it's priceless!  

iodine:  I was trying to explain the "peeing without pubic hair" phenomenon to my sister a few weeks ago, &, although she tried to be sympathetic, it was pretty clear she thought I was nuts!  And I really loved weesa's comment about the volumizing shampoo for crotch hair!  No commentary, please, on why those topics struck home!

Anyway, thanks to everyone who posted!

Angelice

when pple ask you if you need help to ask, there no where to be seen , and  look at you with puppy dog eyes .......

kdrez

....when you go to a concert and you can't find your driver's license and your friends laugh and say it's in your mouth...chemo brain for sure.

Pamelajo

When your husband rubs your poor numb neuropathied feet, and just to test you, digs his thumbnail into your pinky toe to see if you flinch.  Then denies it cause he obviously is ashamed of himself, after you see the thumbnail mark in your flesh.  Then....fighting back the urge to strangle the jerk while he sleeps.

 dumbass

Mamita49

.......when you eat french fries, have chocolate cake and drink a coffee........

Since my dx, I am watching what I eat. 

Firni

mamita, you're funny.  What you eat looks good to me.

Lynne3times

When you can recite the fine print on your health insurance policy like the Gettysburg address

AussieSheila

................when you have to re-read the topic because you can't remember what/whether you've already posted.

 ...............but when somebody writes 'pee direction' you remember 32 yrs ago when you had a newborn boy and a 10 month old girl and had to have two separate sets of nappies/diapers, one with the thickness at the front (boy) and the other way for the girl.  This also meant that at times I nearly threw the newborn over my shoulder when I held his legs to lift his butt for a fresh nappy.

 Sheila.

dlb823

You reach for the reading glasses on top of your head, and realize you're wearing 2 pair up there!  Hmmm.... wonder how long I've bee walking around like that?!

Monty

When you go for your annual mammogram and panic in case they see something you don't feel.  They keep going over the same area with the ultrasound and clicking that button, and you are already convinced they've found something!!! When the radiologist says GOOD LUCK as you are leaving you take the comment to mean "good luck - you are going to need it, ding ding round 2here we go again!!!  Sorry, just got back from my mammogram & ultrasound and I'm already in a panic waiting to hear the results.

Gaynor

geewhiz

When you start to run long distances again and realize you no longer have to worry about nipple chafing!!!

(Thanks mastectomy!!) 

Mamita49

,,,every day is a gift you create a memory to your children.......

.... you think ,,,,,,maybe I should do this trip, or should I wait a couple of years ??? 

barbe1958

...it's summer time and all the ladies are walking around in gorgeous outfits and you nudge your DH and say "Holy crap, look at the tits on that one!"