You know you're a cancer patient when....

BrendaAreYouA4

you know you have cancer when your teenage children rub and kiss your head and tell you they like you better bald

kittycat

This thread is cracking me up!!!  Here's another good one...

when you write on your Facebook status "I pooped" (at a furniture store) instead of "I was pooped"  LOL!!!  (chemo brain is real). 

iodine

---when your husband and any visitors must wear sweat shirt hoodies and pants to survive in the house.  Because after all:

They can put on more clothes to keep warm than you can take off to get cool.

You have a folding fan (beautiful ones) for each size purse.  and one in the car, desk, bedside table, etc etc.

AnacortesGirl

.... when you have you pharmacy on speed dial.

... when you start punching the numbers for the onc office or the pharmacy before the menu kicks in because you already know what the electronic lady is going to say.

BTW - Weesa, the volumizing shampoo was a great hint.  At least I have something real that has real body to it!!! 

Susie123

When your trip to Victoria Secret for new bras post exchange turns into an afternoon adventure.

AnacortesGirl

You print off studies (two) and take them in to share with your onc.

BooBee

This thread makes me smile.

Latte

you realize how much nose hairs keep the drips inside your nostrils.

your 2-yr old likes to touch your head and say "ooh prickly"

mcbird

When you come home from a drive-thru-mx and your 4 year old grandson looks up at you and says (Grandma, where are your boobs?) and you tell him they are in a jar at the dr's office and every time you see him after that he asks when you are getting them back.

chrissyb

When your grandson says to you 'Did the doctor cut off your boob and throw it in the bin?'

When your grandson is concerned in case people laugh at you because you have one boob.

Leah_S

When, in your clinic where every patient has an 8-numeral ID number, your pcp just says "Hello" and calls up your file on the computer without asking for your card.

Leah

Pamelajo

you know you are a cancer patient when you start to consider buying a bigger microwave just because you cannot fit another prescription bottle on top of the one you have.

Pamelajo

oh oh, or

you know you are a cancer patient when you can shampoo, condition, and style without the use of water, shampoo, conditioner, gel, curling irons, hot rollers or perms. 

................realizing your whole body is just more scalp.

dutchgirl6

,,,when your shopping cart has baby wipes and Gerber strained prunes, and the youngest person in your household is 20

Pamelajo

when "guys" at work catch you free wheel massaging your TE's cause your pits feel tight today.

hey......my office is MY OFFICE.

MissSophieGrey

You know you're a breast cancer patient when you used to worry your nipples would show through that white t-shirt, and now after BMX, you worry that you don't have any nipples to show through that white t-shirt...

jenn3

LMAO....I really love this thread! 

When you get dressed, leave the house and realize you forgot your boobs at home..............

weesa

When the man driving the car in the next lane over is looking oddly at you because you are taking advantage of the red light to do a little lymphatic drainage massage.

weesa

when you sniff all over the house thinking the cat has brought in something yucky for you to admire, and finally you realize the gross smell is coming from your own chest from something turning necrotic.

BooBee

....when you don't have to worry about getting lice.

mumito

When you willing to go out in public in a tank top and no foobs.

Ca1Ripken

Oh weesa.... sorry!! 

When there are 3 men in your house... and you have the least amount of hair!

When you pull out your tupperware container of medications in front of friends/family, they look shocked, and ask "are those all your pills?" 

You have to leave the house in 30 minutes for an appointment, and you still haven't had a shower! 

Pamelajo

you know you are a cancer patient when your housecleaning standards take a complete nose dive, and you are finally ok with writing reminder notes to yourself in the dust.

busqueen

When you've totally traumatized your teenaged son by whipping off your 'boobs' as soon as you walk in the door....repeatedly...hehe

Lady_Madonna

...when, even though you live in Las Vegas and it's 110 degrees outside, you've stopped wearing anti-perspirant- either because you're in radiation and you can't or because you're just too paranoid that it causes breast cancer.

 ...when your bathroom has become a mini-labratory for your own home potions of radiation creams and "natural" deodorants.

...when you stand in drug stores obsessively reading labels searching for evidence of "parabens" in all your creams, lotions, cosmetics, and supplements.

...when you can be blonde, brunette, and bald all in the same day.

...when you lose sleep trying to figure out what, exactly, is safe for you to eat and drink?!?  Antioxidants?  Dairy?  Red meat?  Green tea?  Arrrrrgh!!!!!

...when you know what BIRADS, TRAM, DIEP, BRCA, and other obscure acronyms mean.

...when you have chemo brain so bad you can't remember your kids' name and you just have to call him "Hey you!!"  

...when you've shown your breasts to so many people you don't care how many medical students are invited to participate in your treatment, they might as well learn, right?!  

Wow ladies, we need to contact a publisher!! 

redsoxfan

You're happy for a traffic jam because it's easier for you to put some more slather on your breast on the way home after rads.

MissSophieGrey

You know you're a cancer patient when the snotty nurse at the oncologist's office tells you to get on the scale and you say "Um, I was just weighed yesterday." and she says loudly "Patient refused weigh-in!" and you know you will take her and her clipboard down if she says one more thing.  (I used to be so compliant!)

winter1NY

You know you are a cancer patient when after several surgeries and umpteenth visits to ps office all modesty goes out the window as in the other day when rather than running for the changing room to put on "the gown" as I did in the beginning, I took off my blouse/bra and then an interesting travel mag grabbed my attention (featuring trip DH said he will take me on when this is all over)  so ps opened door and there I was topless (reading glasses on of course ) and he chuckled and said "I guess we know each other well enough now"         LOL

Wonderland

When someone tells you "You're so Strong" and all you can think about how someone on this Board has interpreted that (it really means: Your life sucks and I'm glad I'm not you!)

I wish I could remember who said that. I would love to let her know that sometimes I think about it during the day just to make me laugh!

dutchgirl6

Wonderland, I love that!  I wonder who the genius was who first said that. 

You know when you're a breast cancer patient when your nipples (post lumpectomy) resemble Marty Feldman's eyes, each pointing in an opposite direction