You know you're a cancer patient when....
OK ladies. I know this may go over like a lead balloon but I have a weird sense of humor. And in the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy and his redneck jokes I thought we might have enough material to do some cancer jokes.
You know you are a cancer patient when ...
You read a book and you laugh when the subject has been diagnosed with cancer and their first question to the oncologist is "Will I lose my hair?".
Your onc says that you need a transfusion and you ask "Can I get that from a nineteen year old?"
When your onc asks you the folllowing "Are you fatigued? Apetite OK? Any neuropathy? Bowels OK?" and you respond with "Can't you come up with any new questions?" and the onc responds with "I get paid to ask these questions!"
For more short, fun and uplifting posts, click the following link for some cute pics:
Warm & Fuzzy owls, goats, kitties, dogs, birds, ETC. Pics & Links
Comments
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The onc/dr actually expects us to either gain weight and/or is happy with no weight loss.......
You find yourself discussing your bowel movements with cyber friends from BCO online and don't find it a little strange.................
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You are thrilled to be able to poop "normally"....
You have more Dr.s than friends ( this DOSEN"T include you ladies).....
You can rattle off your platelet counts and actually know what good and bad are....
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you look at an infants head of hair and compare it to yours
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When everyone sooooo nice to you!
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your friends from work see you with very little hair and a bloated face from steriods and they say you look good...............
you actually miss plucking or having your eyebrows waxed..................
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You are on a first name basis w/ the flower delivery guy
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Your breasts have had more "pictures" taken of them than Pamela Anderson's.
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When you get your head shaved and look like the woman on the anti-nausea medication box, dark circles and all...
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...when your sex life is so non-existent you actually look forward to being felt up by your oncologist...
#Don'tJudgeMe
#I'mJustSayin'
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You walk in the rads room through the hallway and threaten to just go there topless because what difference does it make anyway? The whole entire cancer center has seen your boobs.
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ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!
Alaina, I was just thinking those very thoughts at my last checkup a few days ago! I can't even think of anything as funny as what I've read here, but if I do, I'll be back.
Hugs
Bobbie
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when you go to the dentist and start to unbutton your shirt because you have been showing everyone your breasts for so long.......
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People ask you how you are feeling and you answer truthfully. My favorite answer right now is "draggin' ass".
Yours are more funny though, and I needed a laugh! Thanks
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(funny thread!)
you don't go anywhere without immodium in your pocket
you can't remember the last time you bought razors
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these are great!
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The sight of red kool-aid makes you gag..thanks A/C
you no longer have to budget in shampoo..haircuts..colors..
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You ask for "seconds" of Communion Wine!
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when you're ecstatic over having nose hair
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when your living room sofa has a permanent indentation in it which looks strangely like your butt.
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On windy days you have to hold onto your 'hair' to keep it from blowing across a parking lot.
You have more anti-diarrhea medications than your grandmother!
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..When you keep at least 3 blue plastic throw up bags in your night stand drawer.
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when your pedometer says you took 108 steps today.
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when your doctor gives you a prescription for a cranial prosthesis...
when you wish you still had bad hair days...
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When your family doctor asks if he can give you a hug.
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When you call people up to tell them (with great excitement) "I used mascara today!!!!"
Leah
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when you fall off your bike.....end up with road rash, sprained wrist and broken finger and tell the doctor in urgent care."its not THAT bad"
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You know you are a cancer patient when.....Your favorite snack is a rusty flagpole!
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(This thread is too funny)
You know you're a cancer patient when you are happy that you, or another breastcancer.org friend, GETS to have chemo because white blood cell counts stayed high,
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When you catch yourself giving self-breast exam in public
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when you have to check to make sure you have all your "parts"on before you answer the door.
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