You know you're a cancer patient when....

Lowrider54

...when you make sure your laptop, cell phone, keys, purse and fur child are right next to you when the tornado sirens go off - and then continue to watch the movie you had been watching staying put on the sofa. 

cs34

...when your friend forgets to ask her Dr when her ultra sound results will be in and you can, without hesitation, tell her because you're a pro at waiting for results.

BrendaAreYouA4

...you know you're a breast cancer patient when you  get your tattoos, nipple tattoos that is!

Lowrider54

...when empty prescription bottles become your main storage container for all your sewing notions, sock knitting needles, buttons, tacks, nails, screws, fake nails, fake eyelashes, and travel containers for all your small items.  And, when growing your own herbs, your herb and spice cabinet is a uniform rack of the tall fat ones.  Great for bingo chips and kids crayon bits too!

maltomlin

........ when you're over the moon that your CT scan shows a cyst on your liver

........ when you've washed your wig and it's drying and your 2 year old grandson runs in shouting ' monster'

........ when a low tree branch takes off your wig

I love this thread.

kittycat

Jenn3 - I forgot my purse at a friend's house the other day.  I remembered my bottle of water, but not the purse.  I went back and just said, "sorry - chemo brain" and my friend laughed!

kittycat

when you're jealous of your BCO friends for being able to poop - LOL!

maltomlin - that's hilarious about the tree branch taking off your wig! 

Firni

Kitty, be careful what you wish for in the poop department. LOL

kittycat

LOL!!! 

Lady_Madonna

OMG... can't stop laughing!!!

...when you finally think of a FANTASTIC title for that book you've been working on... and then you FORGET by the time you go to write it down!!! 

(*&$%^(#&($*&!!!!!  CHEMO BRAIN!!!!!!  When will it ever go away?!?

BTW, I will happily volunteer to seek out info on getting our fantastic funnies published, I've wanted something besides "cancer" to do for a long time!  Maybe we can raise some cash for BC research, wouldn't that be great?!  Do you think "regular" people will think we're weirdos?  Do we care?!

kittycat

I don't care if people think we're weirdos!   I think it would be a GREAT idea!!! 

gillyone

Me too. And perhaps the title should just be "You know you're a cancer patient when..." as that's what got us all going. It could be divided up into different sections - like poop, boobs, chemo brain etc etc

Firni

Well, I think "regular" people would have a hard time finding the humor in all of this and think we're tragic or something like that.  But ANYONE going thru any type of cancer treatment would get such comic relief.  Or anyone living with someone going thru treatment.  I think publishing is a great idea and donating the money to BC research is even better.  Or to our own BC.org.

micheleboots

when two weeks  after your first chemo and waiting for your hair to fall out, you go for a pee and get startled by the squirrel that exploded in your undies.  yes indeed those were the first to go.

or when you have to keep your back to the wall because your family is having to much fun sneaking up behind you and pullin out your hair..

or when your husband uses a lint brush on your head at least one a day.

micheleboots

oh ya, love idea of a book..i would buy it.

micheleboots

when you get a sparkley shamrock fake tattoo to put on your good boob just to make your rads tech laugh...indeed they did laugh.

Lady_Madonna

Ooh, gonna do that Monday!!!

Sugar77

... your eyelids twitch (from chemo) meaning you can use cheap mascara and get the same effect as the expensive Lancome oscillation mascara!

Ca1Ripken

LMAO, again!!

... when you know what a chemo pellet is...

.... when you feel so bad during chemo, that all you do is lay on the couch turning from side to side every 2 hours so you don't get bed sores...

.... when you husband reaches over with his fork, to your dinner plate, to finish a piece of brocolli and instantly cringes at the amount of salt on it.... umm, sorry, no taste buds! 

Love the publishing idea!!  We could use the book for bathroom reading.... we spend enough time in there! 

mumito

When you attempt to go cross boarder shopping but you set off the nuclear alarm from your scans.

kimber3006

....when bed head is cause for joyous celebration.

....when getting your eyebrows waxed makes you grin like an idiot through the whole process.

micheleboots

when you can't remember your husbands name, you just refer to him as DH...

o2bhealthy

and when DH can have soooooooo many meanings

weesa

when you are walking on a long concrete sidewalk and you suddenly and inexplicably veer off to the right and splat into a disorganized heap on the grass.(Taxotere, thanks.)

o2bhealthy

Damn - I just thought I could no longer walk a straight line... darn taxotere

dutchgirl6

...when three and a half hours constitutes a good night's sleep

one-L

You know you have cancer, when the young man helping you with your groceries asks you what you have and you think he is talking about your car, but he is responding to the scarf on your head. 

Also you know from experience when you go to the wig shop and there is a woman in there getting her hair trimmed like her wig and saying "I don't believe that I will lose my hair" and you ask her what she is taking and she says Taxotere and you just say "Hmmm" and give her that special look.

mcbird

When your driving down the road and suddenly forget what you are doing.  Scary, I didn't tell my passengers. LOL

AussieSheila

..............when your two eyebrows are in a different place, horizontally, everyday, because you can't quite remember how far up/down from your eyelids, they normally are...............and you can never get them both on the same level each day so look like you don't believe anything anyone tells you.

Sheila. 

badger

...when you keep an extra t-shirt handy by the side of the bed, to change into when you drench the first one with night sweats.

...when you used to sleep naked but now sleep in a t-shirt to absorb the night sweats.

...when you can now do an entire laundry load just of your night sweat t-shirts. 

...when you know the other side of the pillow's not just cooler, it's drier.