You know you're a cancer patient when....

still-kickin

 To krcll: You are normal, don't be ashamed. I didn't have my breast removed cos by the time they had found the cancer, it had spread but the tests had not come back from the pet scan by the time I saw my surgeon and she went ahead and explained the mastectomy and reconstrucion while I was there for my pre-op exam for my port. I was looking forward after the shock had wore off to my boobs being rebuilt (sounds like a carborater) and back on my chest where they belong. Well shortly after I went back to see my onc and she informed me that I was not having a mastectomy because of mets. I got mad and went to crying. She asked what are you crying about the mets? I whimpered a bit and  replied No, I was looking forward to my boob job! She laughed at me and said well I guess thats one way to look at it.and gave me a hug. I know its hard right now and its hard to believe but things will get better. You are not a freak non of us are we are Special. We are miracles. So we're not Pamela Anderson. Just think when it gets reconstruction time you can be the same size as her if you want and they will be just as real as hers they came from the same place. Keep your chin up

Bugs

When it's perfectly normal to offer "show and tell" of your reconstruction to a fellow sistah.

jenn3

When people say and  "howwwwww are youuuu really" (dragging it out with that low voice).

Well meaning friends and family buy you pink everything......

spendygirl

Oh my goodness - hysterical.....unbuttoning your shirt at the dentist.  Priceless.

amlg1

Putting 2 faced tape on your head,to keep your scarf from slipping off.

KittyDog

when  you have sunburn spots on your scalp because the sunscreen didn't work great.  lol  Want use that brand again. 

mtndawn

  

when you find yourself reassuring people you barely know that you really *will* be okay.

when you cry every time one of those same people does something so kind for you.

AussieSheila

When you act like a 90 yr old virgin at the checkout, keeping your right hand over the rhs neckline of your blouse/dress..............because none of the double-sided tapes really work, while you bend over to unload your groceries from the cart to the conveyor belt. 

 Sheila.

AnacortesGirl

OMG

I hadn't been on for a few days and finally made it through the last 3 pages.  I was laughing so hard I had to keep taking breaks!

So many great ones!  Someone ought to take this on the road.  Could you imagine what they audience would look like?  Scarfs, wigs, rashes, sleeves.  Not to mention the chests.  Perky, flat, lopsided ....

kittycat

when you're afraid your long wig will come off when someone hugs you! 

When you look down your top in public to see your breast spasm (and you don't care if people look at you strange)! LOL!!!

kittycat

Okay - another one... or 2

When my customers call me to make sure I'm alive and still doing okay - not to complain about an issue!  (this is a perk). 

When I have chemo brain so bad, I forget conference calls and have to give myself multiple reminders to get stuff done at work!!! 

This is a great thread!!!

gillyone

when your pain in your bad boob turns out to be a staph infection.

WellWater

When your hair care basket only consists of shampoo and a comb...and you really don't even need the comb!

gillyone

you have no shame when you post that you pooped in your pants after the c/t scan because nobody told you the gallon of contrast stuff you drank might cause a little looseness down there!

you post about your poor little bottom after pooping too many times.

(I have added this thread to my favs - too fun.)

gillyone

sorry gals - I'm not really obsessed by poop

mumito

ROTFL

Faith316

Aussie Sheila --- I can TOTALLY relate to holding your hand over your shirt.  I am always aware of that at the grocery store.  In fact, I just got home from buying groceries at Walmart a few minutes ago and made my friend who was with me reach in to unload the buggy onto the conveyor belt for this very reason!

amlg1

When your obsessed with this website.sign on at least 3 x a day.

o2bhealthy

when you are disappointed that you found awesome temporary tattoo's but cannot show anyone without be accused of FLASHING...

MicheleS

just 3 times a day?! try 30!!

thegoodfight

When you break your toe and it takes months to heal (almost 3 mos now and still not wearing shoes, only flip flops) and you think Chemo and rads didn't stop my life this much.  And, like me and gilly, you are THRILLED to learn you have a staph infection in your breast.................................... AND NOT IDC!!  Yes, you do get to a point that you can laugh, and that's a good thing, a really good thing.

daffodil45

This is hilarious! How about when your teenage son tries to signal you from across the room to "adjust" the foobs! ("Mom....you have one creeping to the middle!") He ended up texting me!

pj12

Oh daffodll.... that is so sweet and funny and poignant. What brave and smart and hilarious women.

Thanks for the giggles.

pam 

chita

You know you're a cancer patient when you see a woman braless and the first thing you think is, I bet she has breast cancer.

o2bhealthy

or when you see women walking through the grocery store store bra-less and wonder...are they real or silicon?

justpayton1

For those of us who have had a mx and no recon...to miss the right to be able to walk around bra-less.

edited to add..I had a left mx..so that leaves me w/ 1 size D breast on the right side.
Diagnosis: 2/9/2009, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IV, Grade 3, 2/13 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2-

lisa-e

justpalton, I have a mx, no recon and walk around braless all the time.  Whether or not I have the right to do so, I don't know but I do it any way.

when you miss your breasts... 

when you look at another woman, recognize she also has had a mastectomy and want to say something to her, but do not have the nerve...

msmpatty

...you consider it a perk to be a priority patient at the lab.

jenn3

when your friend knocks on the door and wakes you from the chair you fell asleep in.....and her first words are "you rubbed off one of your eyebrows"

when you hear the word dog ears you no longer thing of dog ears you think of what's left after having a bi-lat mx..............

Faith316

When your list of magazine subscriptions includes not only Ladie's Home Journal, Good Housekeeping and Redbook, but also Cure.