MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

blackcat2012

I have found that with being diagnosed and treated for breast cancer that I lost friends and family as they are unable to cope/handle having someone around with the diagnosis of cancer. I feel bad for them, but that's it and I have moved on.

Anonymous

been off line for a long time.....and it's hard to keep up with this thread.....but glad you are finished with the chemo Eli. I'm happy you'll get your surgery on the 17th. I've had two separate opinions on a pancreatic cyst found on my last MRI....followed up with an endoscopic ultrasound. Good news is no cancer cells found, bad news is that it's "pre-cancerous" and both surgeons are recommending pancreatic resection and removal of the spleen. I can't get my head around it yet. No connection to the breast cancer....just bad luck I guess. I have to decide wether to have the surgery or not, but sounds like its inevitable. I'm such a wimp.....

macatacmv

blackcat, welcome! It's when the rubber meets the road that we find who will hang with us or not. That's all we can do really is move on.

I did have a chat today with a dear niece (adult) of a friend of mine, that crying the whole time while visiting is not helping. Save the crying for later. We are here still!!!!!!

chacha, I don't think you are a wimp by any means! Look what you have all ready been thru. Anyone after having multi surgeries would pause before jumping into another one. I have a friend that keeps telling me that the docs are really looking out for me, by checking and making me come back for scans, biopsies and stuff. Is there a big rush to get this done? Can you give yourself some time to "get use" to the idea? We will be right here for you even if it is not related to bc, we don't care about what kind or where, we just care about you!

Valjean

Well, I can see that I still do not have my toolbar at the top of this Reply Box. And I'm sure I still won't have paragraphs. I'll mark my paragraphs to check after this has posted. I guess the techs are still working on things....

>>Welcome, Cakes!

>>Loral ~ Congrats on your one year anniversary! I remember well how that felt.... Wishing you many, many more.

>>Dianarose ~ I say: GO FOR THE GUSTO!!

>>Boy, I sure do miss that toolbar. Can't do anything "special". Crappy!

>>Hey Chacha! So wonderful to see you again! I'm so sorry you have a fork in the road to cause hesitation again. We're here for you, always. ♥

cakes

Dianarose - You have received some very sage advice. You are lucky to have good friends on this thread that care about you. Remember, take care of you first. Fun is GOOD!

elimar86861

Guess I should consider myself lucky to have a toolbar then. I just can't center photos like I used to.

Welcome, blackcat2012!

chach, Everyone is good at something...You and I are, apparently, good at growing disturbing cancer-y things. Hard to be proud of THAT, right? I don't know which is the worse, getting some pancreas hacked off or losing an entire spleen. They say the spleen is a somewhat vestigial organ, but I have always wondered if it does something small and secretive for us. From my point of view, you are lucky that you are in the PRE-cancerous phase, and can take care of it before it develops into something mega-evil (like pancreatic cancer, one of the worst!) Even tho' it is not B/C, you know everyone here will be supportive as you go thru' this new ordeal. I am so sorry that you have had to return to procedure world. No matter how positive we can be, honestly it is a bummer!

mac, My best friend (the one I just visited,) the one who didn't call me once during rads (she's been forgiven,) got blubbery and cryish the first time we talked about my B/C on the phone. I had barely cried about it, and she was breaking down. When she got her own B/C, then she barely cried about it. I knew better than to make it about MY feelings. I don't know what the deal is...maybe the less knowledge they actually have of cancer and what needs to be done, the more they invent horrors in their heads.

It is normal to get depressed over a cancer Dx, but at some point a person just has to DEAL with it. If this is an impossibility, then it is time to get some professional support (counseling) and/or drugs. Being depressed DOESN'T HELP. It does not feel good. It takes even more from your life. There is no shame in asking for help to deal with depression. Just don't get addicted to the drugs. Rehab is no fun either.

That last bit was just a public service announcement.

marlegal

Man I love you all. Too many posts to comment on! Welcome to a couple newbies. I hope you handle your addiction to this site okay

Eli, Oct 17 is my 'feast day' (any Catholics out there?) and I always have something good happen that day. I'm doing good here, so I hereby bequeath my something good to you.

Diana, I beg you, have fun!!! I also beg you to start mail order! Drooling here for a good pumpkin/cheese roll

Loral, congrats. Hope that view in the rear view mirror keeps getting farther away.

Chacha, good to see you hon. Hugs and prayers, keep us posted.

Anonymous

thanks for the support ladies! When I asked about time, I was told it's not urgent.....but don't wait too long. Then the OS said (his youthful lack of tact evident), look what happened to Steve Jobs".....geez!

I think I'll plan on December and use the time between now and then to educate myself and hopefully get to a point of confidence.

barsco1963

marlegal - I agree that the mail order service from Queen of Tarts would be fantastic. We have a few good bakeries around, but none of them are run by the Queen.

chacha - I hope that young whipper snapper will soon realize that he needs to stop short on some of his advice. Sounds like you have a good plan in place for getting the info you need. Good luck - remember we will all be with you!

Enerva

Hi all , I turned 40 this past August I was dx at 38 just when I was turning 39 its been a hard past year. I have one more surgery to go this xtmas and I am looking forward to it. I cant stand my TE any longer lol Are any of you in Ontario Canada? I live in Mississauga, Ont I will love to meet people around my age that can relate to what I am going through. Feel free to contact me I love to read all your post , wish I saw this site sooner

barsco1963

Hi Enerva - Welcome to the middies thread (although sorry for the reason you are here). We like to have fun here, but are always quick to come to the aid of anyone needing a hand to hold, an ear to listen or a pocket party to attend. I hope you come back again so that we can get to know you better.

P.S. - I am from ON also - a bit farther North than you though. There is also a Canadian thread that you might want to check out. http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/55/topic/700016?page=468#idx_14021

Katlebbie

Hi everyone, rough week for me it's been 3 weeks, today since my surgery and was doing pretty good until I had to go back to work full time this week, It really SUCKS being self employed sometimes. My help keeps calling in and of course I had to be there. I run an in home daycare and have been opening and helping close since day three. Started preschool back up after one week but this week because the help had issues I've been working the whole week, I'm sore and tired and CRABBY! Sorry guys but I just needed to vent. The help and some of the parents just don't understand!

So much has been going on here that I hope I don't forget anyone.

El I will be with you on the 17th just like you were there for me. YOU WILL WAKE UP ......are you listening to me? I will poke you and bug you until you do!!!!! What would you like me to bring for the pocket party??? Your choice? (where are those smiley's at) As you were already told you started this site and we need you!

Welcome blackcat and Enerva these ladies are the best and have so much spunk, humor and kindness, embrace it!

Macatacmy.....I am putting my best foot forward with the help of some very good friends and all of you!

Dianarose I think you need to follow your heart, only you can decide what is best for you, and if the new guy wants to take you into his heart , well I say run to him and don't look back. Be happy!

Love and (((HUGS))) to all............

Kd6blk

I wanted to ask this as a new topic but never can figure out how to post. Anyway, I am post one year and a few months now and still struggling to get my Vit. D levels to stay up. I stopped taking my 6k per day and never did get above 27 but since it was summer I decided to see if the sun was enough and dropped back down to 20. I am back on 10K per day of liquid drops of D3 but it just seems my body won't keep up. I am not sure if I will ever see 50...let alone more for my number. Anyone else struggle with Vitamin D levels?

marlegal

Kd6, I really don't follow my VitD levels, sorry ... welcome to this site though and hang around if you want to have fun and share life's little idiosyncrasies. Right now they are saying Vit D is a good thing. Last year it might have been something else and next year, who knows what it might be. Sorry, but I've seen too many women who lived a totally clean healthy lifestyle get BC for me to worry about lifestyle choices.

ndgrrl

KD- I also struggle with Vitamin D- I did raise it up a little bit but barely above normal by taking 2000 MCG a day Vitamin D tablet. I have been trying to raise mine now for about a year. Odd thing is my GP was never concerned and I had to ask him if I could be tested. I felt much better after getting the level up to normal- even if its low normal.

Gillkath

Hi everyone. Just wanted to stop in and say hello. I am now a six year survivor. Yahoo. Was diagnosed at 46 and am now 52. What a journey breast cancer has taken me on: biopsies, mastectomy with TE reconstruction, chemotherapy, tamoxifen, uterine hyperplasia, total hysterectomy, arimidex, and a scar recision surgery scheduled for December. While this has definitely been a physical battle, it has also been an emotional one. Nonetheless, I am happy and healthy today! HUGS to you all!

NativeMainer

Kd6blk--it can take some time and some large doses of Vit D to get your levels up. Are you taking Vit D3 or Vit D2? One form usually works better than the other, but I can't remember off the top of my head which is which.

barsco1963

So many newbies to welcome - A big shout out to Kd6blk, Ndgrrl and Gillkath. We are glad to have you here so that you can benefit from the support, encouragement and comaraderie that is overflowing on this thread.

Kd6blk

I take D3, which is the right one. Liquid drops seem to work better, but always a struggle. Just wondered if others found success somehow.

elimar86861

Kat and others, What kind of (virtual) noshing would I like to do at my pocket party? Nothing too fancy...just some finger sandwiches (watercress is my favorite) and maybe some goat cheese and pear tartlets (which should be right up D-rose's alley.) Maybe some Jello 1-2-3 for dessert, if you have any that you have been storing down in your nuclear holocaust shelters these past 40 years. See, I'm easy.

Kd6blk, My MO didn't even order the right Vit. D test for me the first time around and then he didn't even know how to interpret the results when I asked for and got the correct one. Anyway, I was never low, low with my D, just low normal, and I supplemented with 2K gelcaps (5K in Winter) and got into the 60's. I did not encounter difficulty raising it. It does sound like you have an absorption problem with it, or something. I wonder if a nutritionist could guide you. As with all the pseudo-science fields, try to get recommendations from people you know if you do choose to go to one. Like Native said, it can be a long, slow process to build up the D, so definitely supplement thru' the Winter. I always liked to get tested in early Spring myself, but I think so long as you test at the same time of year each time, you can get a pretty good reading for comparison.

Welcome to Enerva; and thanks for stopping by Gillkath (you forgot to mention mental battle, as well.) Good Luck with the revision surgery. I have one scar I am not happy with. Will insurance cover scar revision for ANY surgery, or does it have to be breast? Is there any statute of limitation, timewise, for having it done? I am giving my scar a chance to beautify itself, but I am afraid it will always look like an indent (you know, like from a knife fight. On second thought, maybe I should just leave that.)

marlegal

Editing my prior post a bit now that I re-read it. Lifestyle choices are important for lots of reasons. We should all eat a balanced diet and take care of ourselves. My problem is with people who feel that somehow not following a proper course caused their cancer. As I said, I know many, many women who did everything right their whole lives and still developed breast cancer. Should they abandon a healthy lifestyle? Of course not. I didn't mean to imply that at all. I think when I wrote that post I had just finished reading an email from my 38 year old cousin with 3 young children who is currently in treatment. She falls into that category and is so scared and confused, saying "What did I do wrong?" So that's where my head was. Please do all you can to get and stay healthy

Katlebbie

Marlegal I forgot to tell you I am also a Catholic.

I also know people who have lived as healthy as possible, ran, worked out daily ate all the right foods and still ended up with cancer. I'm not sure how cancer chooses which person to attack but it's not fair. What about the babies born with cancer, their mother is fine but at birth the baby has cancer. That's a tough one to explain to me.

macatacmv

Marl, I get where you're coming from. But sometimes the remarks people make are harsh. I was at my chiropractor yesterday. I brought up my friend who is stage 4 and she said oh that won't happen to you, you take care of yourself. That, to me, implied that 1 she did something wrong and 2 if I slip up something will happen to me. I have learned to let this stuff slip off my back. But it all feels a little too personal. ((?))

E, yeah the tough look! I sometimes think about what a medical examiner would say about my body while doing an autopsy. I don't think about it a lot, but it has crossed my mind.

My d levels are low and am taking 2000 D3, but haven't had a follow-up test to see if anything's changed. Oh well.

blackcat2012

I have found that cancer is the only disease that does not have boundaries as it can affect everyone. It does not discriminate. It affects the young, old, wealthy, poor. It affects every race, culture, religion, male or female.

Gillkath

Hi Elimar: The scar on my reconstructed breast has sunken in somewhat. I no longer fill out my bra, and you can see the indentation through my clothes. I have a silicone implant and my surgeon is going to look while she is in there to make sure it is still intact. Then she is going to hopefully fix the indentation. it has been 6 years since my original surgery, and my insurance company is going to cover it. I never did the nipple, so I don't have to worry about messing that up.

NativeMainer

One of my pet peeves is the unspoken thought that I got breast cancer because I am overweight or didn't exercise enough, or ate the wrong diet. If science cannot truly say how cancer happens and why (if they knew that it would be cured) then how can they know that exercise, drinking, diet, weight or anything else is the cause? Don't blame ME for something YOU can't explain, is my response. Still makes me mad.

elimar86861

Native, We do know that body fat produces some of its own estrogen, so maybe that is part of the thinking behind diet and exercise BUT, and please read that as a very large BUT, I have always wondered just how well these so-called risk reducers stack up against the pro-risk factors that we don't even know about (or know about but can't really quantify.)

Example: I am not overweight, but did have first child after the age of 30, so does that put me in the plus or minus column? Apparently, the minus column, but I can only guess at the MANY reasons why I ended up there. I have few of the known risk factors, but do have a feeling that there is some unknown as to why I am quite good at growing the stuff. So, I do agree with you that it is probably pointless to harp on one or two things or throw the blame around, when there could (and probably are) be a dozen unknown factors at work.

They don't have cancer down to actuary science yet, and I sure do resent the article that tell us one thing one year and reverse it the next. It is bad enough to have B/C, but to have B/C and guilt? No thanks.

elimar86861

Kd6blk

I had my kids, three of them before 27...breast fed them for a year. Ate well...used to be thinner...so who knows why we get anything...it is luck of the cards...I have seen folks get results from certain diets but not sure I could adhear to those diets.

Loral

I have no kids, I'm not overweight, but I used birth control pills for decades, I smoked and drank quite a bit, I used deodorant that had aluminum in it, I've ate and cooked with the plastic having BPA, I breathe the air that has diesel fumes in it, so does it really matter what the cause of cancer is, what we need is a CURE, spend the money on that....