Motivation

kfinnigan

Last night I got plenty of exercise!  After work, ate right away, did treadmill for 30 minutes, grabbed my yoga stuff and headed there.  Hour of yoga, then my car wouldn't start...it has a new battery and would crank but not turn over.  I have a self-jumper so was on phone with DH as he was walking me through what to do (now its dark out 7:40ish), and a guy from yoga class tries to help me, but it still wouldn't start, we would sit and wait and try again but nothing.  So...I go back inside and ask the girl at the desk if I can leave my car parked overnight in the lot (this is our neighborhood Association Club), she is young and says "I don't know, etc." and she says she will email her manager, she takes down my name, number, car description and I start to walk home, talking to my DH on the way.  Halfway home (home is about a mile) the assoc. girl calls me and says her manager spoke with her and no, I cannot leave my car parked overnight.  So I turn around, call DH, he's mad and yakking in my ear....OK OK I gotta go and call AAA...so I am digging out my AAA card trying to see in the dark and calling and running back...give them the address of where I am, where the car will go and tell them I need to get home to get our other car.  The dispatcher says I need to remain with the vehicle but he thinks if I hoof it I can make it back in time.  So I hoof it, as he says, I'm running back talking to DH on my blue tooth (have my purse and water bottle, its cold out and dark) and I'm getting texts from AAA during this time.  I'm out of breath, but I make it home, have to pee, talking to DH cause this other car is his baby, his Porsche (I swear I come 2nd to that car!), didn't realize I grabbed the wrong set of keys for the car (the key part works but not the automatic buttons for the car on that key ring), I finally unplug the battery, get it started, put the top up (now mind you, this is where DH and I were bickering back and forth, because I forgot how to open the hood, etc., he was getting very annoyed with me) and at the same time AAA is calling and they are waiting for me and saying well I better hurry up and get back there or they won't wait.  I FINALLY get the car ready and head back.  The AAA guy was very strange, not a happy fellow and was treating me like I was an idiot.  So after clearing stuff out of my car, I say why not try starting it again and it starts!  The AAA guy said a few things, had me sign off and he left.  So now I have 2 cars in the lot.  I leave my car running and go to lock DH's car and it was at that point I realized I the key ring buttons didn't work and I couldn't see...so now the alarm starts going off on it!  I panic, DH is raising his voice thru my ear piece, telling me START THE CAR, that will turn off the alarm, and he keeps telling me I have the wrong key ring...yadda yadda yadda...I lock the door the old fashioned way and drive my car home.  I grab the correct key ring after DH tells me for the upteenth time I had the wrong set...start to run back, now my sister, who I haven't chatted with in over a month starts texting me, asking me how I'm doing...really?  Now??  Not so good...LOL... My DH keeps telling me to Glympse him (cool app) and I kept sending him Glympses but they aren't going through.  So I finally call him back and tell him, just stay on the line with me til I make it back safe.  And I did make it back safe.  Home safe and sound at 9pm....One part of my upper thigh, I think my hip flexor is very strained (probably from yoga) and ached all night.  What a night!  haha  Guess I made up for some workouts.

harley63

Went out yesterday for a run thru my neighborhood.  Since I am going shopping with my MIL tomorrow, I went again today.  I ran into a neighbor who was walking, so I switched directions and walked with her.  When we reached the end of the development, I turned around and ran/walked home....     Tomorrow, I probably won't get a chance to go out and exercise, so I forced myself to go again today.  I found it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.  My hubby is a strict  one day on/one day off exercise regimen thinker..... 

Oh, and for Kate's thoughts, some people are just negative...  I have met another survivor and we have become friends.  BUT, it really bothers me that she is so negative!  I don't know what to do.  We were going out to lunch twice a week, but I had to back down to once.... 

HUGS
Harley

harley63

Kari,

OOH!  You had quite a workout!  Glad your car is ok, but sorry you had to go through such an ordeal!

Hope everyone has a great 1st DAY OF SPRING!!!!

Harley

dlb823

OMG, Kari!  You poor thing!  I can't believe the stupid assn. ppl. wouldn't let you leave your car there overnight in view of the circumstances.  What idiots!  I'm glad you didn't fall as you were running and texting and looking for keys in the dark!  As I was reading, that's how I was afraid your story was going to end!  I'm glad you're okay!  And sad to say, my DH would have reacted the same way yours did.  My theory is that they're just so stressed at work, they take it out on us when something is frustrating and beyond their control.  But I'm just glad you're okay!

My evening was totally boring compared to Kari's!   Went to the gym with DH.  4 miles on a bike and 1/2 hr. of weights.  Off to walk the dog now...      Deanna

kfinnigan

Deanna, I really LOVE your boring night, I was really being careful to not fall...going up and down curbs in the dark!!  Yeah my DH was frustrated because he was 2 hours away and couldn't help me and could hear how stressed I was.  Glad you could relate, made me feel better

Harley, maybe your new friend is coming off as negative at first.  You know sometimes when we meet other sista's we lay all our cards out there, because you can empathize as to what she's going throught.  That should settle down after awhile and then the friendship should shine through.  At least that's what I'm hoping for you!!!  hugs 

kfinnigan

sorry, I'm posting so much, but I wanted to tell you girls I decided to email my PS for a re-evaluation of my case.  I saw my Gyn last Friday and she didn't understand why I never got reconstruction, here is my PS's reply (I now have an appt. with him next Tuesday 3/27 @ 2:30)Email from my PS:

Hello Mrs. Finnigan,
Radiation does make tissue expander/implant reconstruction much more difficult with higher infection rates and inability to expand the chest tissues. In these cases it is preferable to use your own tissue or a combination of your own tissue and an implant (I recall you saw Dr. Werninghaus for a GAP flap for this reason). I am happy to review your situation again, please call Joe at 973-7357 and we can see you soon. Thank you,
Dr. Garcia

harley63

Kari

We have been friends for about a year now.  

I think maybe she thinks she can share all these things with me, but it is starting to get me down.

I hope she will start to improve her attitude soon.   Last month, we went out for her birthday, and we had a good time.  That is the last time I remember her being positive about anything.  

I hope you are right.

Harley

ptdreamers

Kari, I would definitely talk to your association's president. There should always be exceptions where a vehicle can be left. Your situation certainly was one of them. Used to live in gated community and some of the rule are ridiculous. Take it easy today to recoup.

Springtime

My Dearest Kari,

If you are considering natural tissue reconstruction, please consider NOLA. see the before and after photos at breastcenter.com (The Center for Restorative Breast Surgery). They can tell you how much your insurance would cover, etc. They are excellent at handling out of towners as ppl from all over the US and the world go there. They are the best in the world at GAP and DIEP and all that. Artiists. All they do is breast reconstruction. The surgical center is like a spa, private rooms, etc. Let me know if you have any questions. I was in network and paid *nothing* when I went. I also know of other natural tissue docs that are excellent. Dr. Marga Massey is wonderful too and has a place in Salt Lake which is closer to you. http://www.drmarga.com/

So today was 45 elliptical, also quite boring compared to Kari's night. HOLY COWWWW!!!!!

Tomorrow is 90 yoga. I can't wait. Last week we had spring break so didn't have yoga! I'm ready.  

Survivorwoman

Kari - what a crazy night for you. Thankfully, you got home safely. I agree with ptdreamers that you should talk to the association's president. By not letting you leave your car and by making you walk back and forth they put you in danger . Thankfully, nothing happened to you, but it was not cool of them to make you rush like that in the middle of the night. They could have made an exception.

Harley- you always have to look out for yourself first so that you can help others. If you think that seeing your friend brings you down rather than elevates you, then you are right to take a break. You have to look out for your own sanity. No need to be a saint. You already do a lot for others as I see it on FB. You first. Then others.

cdairth

Working up the motivation to do my 7k run today. It's awfully hot here. I have pilates this p.m. I put on some shorts for the first time since chemo. They are tight!!! Time to do something about that. I'm going to the caribbean soon, so I have to squeeze into a bathing suit. Gulp.

Kari, let us know what you decide regarding reconstruction. I'm going to see my surgeon next month and he will refer me to a surgeon to discuss reconstruction. I've had a unilateral mastectomy and rads, but my skin seems to have held up very well. I also have (had) small breasts, so I am hoping for an "expander" surgery.

kfinnigan

I really appreciate your words all regarding the Association and the Reconstruction.  A couple of years ago I went to the plastic surgeon and he sent me to a lady PS specialist (I have Kaiser ins - HMO) 1.5 hours away that specializes in GAP, because he didn't think I had enough tissue to do much with.  He also didn't want to do a Lat Flap because he said I am very active.  He didn't want to try an implant either if I recall.  The specialist had me and my DH watch a video and then she came in and rained on my parade.  She said it would be a long grueling surgery to do the GAP and that maybe she could come up with enough to make half the size of my remaining boob.  I cried my eyes out and swore off recon at that moment.  But, I've had time to emotionally heal and am ready to re-visit this idea.  I've read other posts where women within Kaiser can't go elsewhere, so NOLA would be out, even though I know they are the gold standard.  WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!   This should be easier!!!  I've had rads too....I better play the lottery, so I can go to NOLA too!  heehee  I would love to go there!!

So I did NOTHING yesterday! MY DD and GDD were at the mall play area yesterday so I joined them!  I was really wiped out and limping, but doing better today.  I'm going to email the Association and register a complaint about the emergency regulations, really...a big lit parking lot and they can't make one exception.  The only time the access is closed to the gym is 11pm to 5am anyway!

Harley, so you've been friends for over a year with the gal?  She probably doesn't even realize she's being negative.  I had a gal tell me a long time ago that I always said "I hate this" or that...I was saying it but didn't mean it, I just used it like people use the word "right" or "like" these days, it was a habit.  Maybe she has a habit of voicing her negativity but doesn't mean to do it.  You might want to have a heart to heart with her.  She can't change if she doesn't realize she's doing something that bothers you.  I don't know, just trying to give her the opportunity and your friendship, since you mentioned you have had some good times together.  OR maybe not....maybe she's just a negative nellie, and in that case, move on!!!  hugs sista!!  

Springtime

Lots of women at Nola were told they didn't have enough prior, and they find it. Kari, call them anyway to find out about your insurance, and then call Dr. Massey's office. She takes other and different insurance.

Yoga for me tonight! 

harley63

Thanks, Kari. 

I am going to give her a chance to try to change.  She is going through a rough time, so I 

just want to be understanding.

Harley

kfinnigan

Springie, I emailed NOLA.  Can't hurt right?  Their website is amazing!  Lots of great info.

Babysat last night, and just got back from a 30 minute mall walk.  This darn weather out west is so strange.  Stormy skies, windy and about 60 degrees.  Seems we can't quite get over the end of winter out here while the midwest/easterners are soaking up the sun!!  wow!

Harley, keep us posted on your friend, don't want her sucking out your motivation!  She most likely really relies on your friendship.

Cath, did you run your 7k?  How did it go?  and when/where in the caribbean are you going?  I headed to Cabo 2 weeks from tomorrow and UGH at the thought of a bathing suit!   

Springtime

Good Kari! Glad you emailed! Let me give you Liz's direct email: Liz Markey - she is the Patient Education person, and is super nice: liz@breastcenter.com

If NOLA doesn't work, for some reason, next step - try Dr. Marga. http://www.drmarga.com/  Try to erase from your mind what you have been told prior. You would not believe what I was told locally. The Duke doctor told me maybe I could not even get 2 A cups. (I have 2 C cups). so try to do a mental rest on that....

Kari, they have published my pics in a plastic surgery article. PM me if you want the link! (you can see before and after on me - it was just published and Liz called and emailed me to let me know). Nakie pictures! ahhhhhhhck!

Tonight is a night of REST! Biking Fri Sat Sunday is planned!!!  

Survivorwoman

A quick check in to say hi! then off to work. I had a fabulous day yesterday. Did 90 minutes yoga, had delicious macrobiotic foods in the city with a friend and to top it all, I went to  Gilda's Club in NYC and got a Reiki treatment too. Great day yesterday. Wednesday was resting day. My knees were killing me. Those apparently are Herceptin's side effects.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Springtime

Hi all!

Had a nice 10 mile bike ride after work at a comfortable pace. They closed the trail, but we got off our bikes and carried them over the baricade! we are like that, nothng stops us!

tomorrow will hopefully be more biking and working in the garden. Weeds calling!  

Survivorwoman

I thought about you all when I heard this song tonight..... "Let's keep on moving.... walk, walk, walk , walk, walk, walk....................walk............walk..........let's keep on moving....." by Burning Spear: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hocWfu-v3Mg

harley63

Kari

Don't worry; I won't let my friend suck all the positive motivation outta me.

I am just sad because I was hoping that she would take a larger role in

my support group, Pink Warrior Sisters.  I realize now that I am having 

to do ALL the work myself.  I had wanted an assistant to help get the word out.

Happy Weekend to all,

Harley

Springtime

13.5 mile bike ride, we got it in between the rain storms. Did a littel gardening, but not much. did get started though!

harley63

I'm doing the countdown to Tamoxifen:   190 more pills to go!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Harley

ktym

I do that too Harley, every time I change to a new bottle because I finish the old one I count 10 down 10 to go.....

Quick hi to everyone.  Good week overall but not today.  I walked so much at work there was no more time on those feet the neuropathy was killing me. Tomorrow will be better

Springtime

kate, sorry about the neuropathy. Did you ever try L-Glutamin? It helped me when I was in chemo.

Today was another 13.5 mile bike ride, and my legs and knees need a break! Tomorrow will be a day of rest.

You ladies counting down the tamoxifen... Did your onc tell you that they would want you on an AI after? Mine is telling me after 5 years of tamoxifen, they recommend another 5 years of an AI. Ugh. I so want NOT to be taking these pills. On the other hand, a lady I know just shared with me she now has brain mets. I don't want that either. Ugh.  

harley63

Spring,

My onc. had me do 2 years on Tamoxifen, then 3 on Femara...  only I just did ONE year on Femara, cause it threw me into Osteopenia full blown!

I am now finishing up the Tamoxifen, and I don't want to do an AI...  my choices were to continue with Femara and take Fosamax...  which I said NO...     or to finish up the Tamoxifen. 

i am researching the Grape Seed Extract, and I am already taking Curcumin.  

Good Luck!!

Harley

Survivorwoman

I hear you Spring. You have some tough decisions to make. But have you done any research about AI? What are the side effects?

I had a great yoga work out. I also rode my bike. So now, all I need is a good night sleep.

dlb823

I just posted this on FB, but gotta share it here as well...

http://www.youtube.com/embed/W86jlvrG54o?rel=0

Keeping up my walking + gym routine.  Up to 6 miles on the bike, but I absolutely need to fit those 5 and 6 mile walks back into my schedule.   Without them, I've had some occasionally depressed moods that started with the loss of someone here on BCO, then not sleeping as well last week.  But DH noticed it too and commented that I need to get back to my long walks.  They so clearly are a mood elevater for me!     Deanna 

Survivorwoman

I agree with you Deanna. When I don't do my regular workouts (biking, yoga and walking) I tend to get depressed. And I know about the grief you have about MBJ. I was shocked and very upset when I heard the news. I still think about her and keep up with a thread that started as a result of her passing.

Since then I really try to enjoy every single day: I stop to smell the trees in awe, talk to people and try to laugh every day even if it means watching videos on youtube. Deanna: MBJ will never be forgotten, but we need to look forward, keep looking forward..... This is how it is and it sucks, but this is how it is. Sending hugs to you.

kfinnigan

Sorry to hear about MBJ's passing.  I didn't know of her, but have other friend's tell me about recent friend's who are now terminal, I'm so unbelievably saddened by this.  I went on the trail yesterday at lunch even though it was cold and windy out, stood by a creek and watched the water flowing and listened to it and started to cry...tried to come to terms with all this news.  But Surviror you are right, we have to keep looking forward and Deanna, you have to work in those long walks to help clear your mind.  I bought some Tart Cherry Juice, as I heard Dr. Oz (watched when I was home sick a couple weeks ago) say that it has Melatonin properties so I've drank some and have noticed the last 2 nights I've slept better.

Spring, I'd love to see your pics, you famous girlie!!  I never heard back from NOLA, but I can try the personal email you gave too.

I just saw my PS at lunch today, he gave me a couple of options.  I mentioned NOLA to him and he was aware of one of the docs there, but said that Kaiser has their own surgeons too and I have a referral to see a specialist in Santa Clara, which is the facility I grew up going to.  My local PS could do the Lat flap w/implant or we can try the GAP (as I store fat in my hip/rear area), which he said I am a poster child for this procedure...BUT I told him the last specialist he sent me to in Hayward made me cry and shut me down emotionally.  So I will gather some more info and press on.

Deanna, that video was INCREDIBLE!  Thanks for sharing!  I just shared it with my cube mate and she cried.  Love that kind of inspiration and talk about MOTIVATING!  I LOVE IT! 

Survivorwoman

Wow! Deanna ! Thank you  for the video! Wow!!!

AND HE CAN SING TOO! AMAZING! SOOOO INSPIRING!