Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

nanette7fl

hi all thought I'd update you as to the hell I'm going through with this BMX. The left breast has air in it and not fluid so radiation is once again on hold. I go back on Wednesday to have another CT to see of my body has absorbing it. I think it is trying to as that pectoral is sitting soft again. The right side decided to start weeping this morning so DH put a gauze patch on it and I'm about to have him re-dress them both again. I'm assuming the right has air in it as it's also gotten softer today. As you all know I really don't want the drains again. This last time I only had them in for maybe 10 days with barely any out put.

I'm desperately trying to stay positive but with all this un-normal #<÷= going on it gets hard to be positive. I don't regret have a BMX because it could have gone the same way when and if the right side ever got cancer.

I'm excited though. Tomorrow my Dad is coming to visit for a few hours and my best friend will also be here. (Her 1st husband and my dad were good friends.) I haven't seen my Dad since Christmas...he lives 4 1/2 hrs away and I haven't been able to travel that far. He hasn't seen any pics of me other than the ones I posted on FB that were from the neck up so I'm not sure how he's going to react to my being temporarily flat. And I've come to expect him to cry and that's ok because maybe I need to cry too. Tomorrow is an 'escape's day for him as he's leaving my stepmom in the care of her daughter... good heart but big bubble head lol. My stepmom has Alzheimers and has declined VERY fast over the last 6 months and this is truly hard on Dad. But at 78 you cannot plan someone else's health let alone your own. Cancer has taught me to appreciate each day and I tried to share that with him...to make his good memories while he still could and to later in the day they to laugh over the stupid stuff that happens.

I hope you all are well.

IllinoisLady

Nannette, big hugs. Once again your plate if full. So glad you will get to spend time with people ( Dad and best friend ) you love and who love you. Hope you have a wonderful time no matter what you do, and even if its crying. The sharing will do you good.

jo6359

Nanette- every time we think you're making progress towards radiation something comes up. For your sake I hope there's a quick resolution to this new issue. Your dad and you should have a beautiful visit. If you need to have a good cry . Your health issues have kept you from traveling. You've had so many complications with your BMX. I agree with you blankety blankety-blank sucks.

pingpong1953

I'm finally recovered from the craft show I did this Saturday. I did really well, for me at least, and I actually made enough to pay for 1/10 of the crown I need on one of my upper teeth! Yay!!!

jo6359

Pingpong- what kind of crafts do you do

IllinoisLady

If you're wondering when you should give to or serve someone else, I believe in doing it spontaneously, perhaps in a shared moment of emotion. Or any time you feel like someone needs your support. Whether you do it all the time, occasionally, or when the opportunity arises, just do it. Reach out and give of yourself and your time. I have seen, time and again, that happiness and enjoyment arise from being of service in simple ways. -Lucinda Bassett

IllinoisLady

Been sunny for two or three days here now. Hot too, of course. Keep saying we could have a shower and I don't doubt one will turn up soon just because. Lots to do to get ready for a short visit from Dh's daughter. She is flying to St. Louis and will come and spend the day with us. Doing a book seminar there. Hope it all goes well for her.

Once again -- my admiration for anyone who can do crafts is huge. I've always been all thumbs. Well, the nice part of all thumbs is you certainly KNOW what you can't do. Maybe that is why I like animals. I'm okay in that department, and its doing what I love -- so that works our for crafters and works out for me.

Hope you are all going to have a fine day.

Wren44

I took a pottery class and the main result was being willing to pay a lot more for hand thrown coffee cups. After a couple of years I improved enough to keep a few things I made. I get bored with the crafts I've tried. I can't knit because I don't ever watch TV any more. Without the TV, I'm bored in 20 minutes.

Congratulations on actually making money at a craft show. I've always thought the work and expense of being in the show would really cut down on profits.

ChiSandy

Pingpong, sorry for your loss—but how lovely that you had some recent time together.

Nanette, the hits just keep on coming, don’t they?

Hope to be in the air tomorrow before it gets too hot, and that my drives from & to JFK won’t be too stormy & harrowing

pingpong1953

jo, lately I've been concentrating on sewing (tote bags, stuffed animals, dolls) but I've done a lot of jewellery. Just haven't been in the mood for stringing beads lately. I also do pottery, but the building where the pottery studio is located had a roof collapse this past winter, so that's on hold for the foreseeable future. I have an Etsy shop (prfibredesigns) where I sell the fabric stuff as well as cards. Please check it out and share - I'm trying to drive more traffic there. It's not easy launching one of these shops!

MCBaker

I am still recovering from reconstruction surgery. Last night I couldn't sleep without undoing my compression bra. Best sleep I have had in over a week! I have done all I could with current quilting projects (other than starting a completely new top). Can't make jam. Can't exercise. The desire to write again is growing. I have been reading William Vollmann's "Fathers and Crows" which directly relates to my writing project. Have also read a cousin's book, and in return I sent him my project in process. Haven't even looked at it for several years. Writers block, concerned about what people think about me as the result of putting my soul on paper. It has dissolved in recent weeks.

carolehalston

Nanette, your recovery journey has been/is truly a nightmarish ordeal. Hope you see that elusive light at the end of the tunnel soon.

Pingpong, how do I find you on Etsy?

I have enjoyed all my forays into crafts. I did stained glass for a few years and loved the beautiful glass. I fell in love with making pottery when I took pottery lessons as research for a romance novel. Pottery became a passion for 3 or 4 years, quite an expensive passion, but I had success selling my creations in crafts shows. My dh and I called ourselves Catspaw Studios after our cats walked on thrown plates that hadn't hardened and left their paw prints. DH was/is a skilled woodworker and his wooden wares didn't sell as well despite compliments because they were more expensive. People can't always afford what they admire or might not have a use for a beautiful item.

I sew, crochet and knit and enjoy all those hobbies. I have not been successful selling my crocheted dish cloths and embroidered placemats.

This summer we are enjoying some success with selling dh's beautiful turned bowls. We should be charging more for them but he's happy finding homes for the bowls and making money in the process. So that he can make more bowls!

It rained all day yesterday and is overcast so far today. DH will be playing golf and I plan to do some "house" chores like changing the sheets.

IllinoisLady

[The Native American] believes profoundly in silence—the sign of perfect equilibrium. Silence is the absolute poise or balance of body, mind and spirit. The people who preserve their selfhood ever calm and unshaken by the storms of existence—not a leaf, as it were, astir on the tree; not a ripple upon the surface of the shining pool—theirs, in the mind of the unlettered sage, is the ideal attitude and conduct of life. If you ask; "What are the fruits of silence?" he or she will say; "They are self-control, true courage or endurance, patience, dignity, and reverence. Silence is the cornerstone of character." - Ohiyesa (Charles Eastman)

IllinoisLady

Rain likely tonight they say. Sort of glad since dh's daughter will be coming through the day here for a visit. No idea how long she will stay but I'm worn out from the marathon amount of straightening up and moping and all the fun chores you do when someone hasn't been to your house in a long time. Dh said he'd help but petered out VERY early. Sort of a man thing, I think. Oh well, except for sore eyes ( not near enough sleep ) and some general tiredness I'm none the worst for wear and the house does look better. I can work on other items when the time comes.

Hope you are all going to have a fantastic day.

jo6359

pingpong- I'm definitely going to check out your site. I enjoy good craftsmanship. Many years ago I used to refurbish antique furniture. Alas, space was always an issue.

ChiSandy

Write on, Mary (couldn’t resist)! Killing time at Delta lounge at ORD waiting to board my flight to JFK. Skipped the Chicago rain but might not be as lucky when I get to NY. Will check in after I make my shiva call

pingpong1953

For anyone who is interested, here's the link to my Etsy shop:

https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/PRFibreDesigns?ref=se...

Please check it out and share it with anyone who may be interested!

Thanks

Paula

IllinoisLady

It's possible to have too much in life. Too many clothes jade our appreciation for new ones; too much money can put us out of touch with life; too much free time can dull the edge of the soul. We need sometimes to come very near the bone so that we can taste the marrow of life rather than its superfluities. -Joan Chittister

nanette7fl

pingpong congrats!! Glad you had a good show. I'm going to check out your site. I need to start on for all my stuff.

Mary, oh reconstruction... I know how you feel. I had so much trouble sleeping after my 1st surgery when they put in the expanders...no position is comfortable and yes isn't it a relief to unzip the compression bra?? Speaking of that do you know your insurance will buy 1 for you?? Dr must submit the order within 3 weeks of your surgery. I found this out too late.

Thanks to all of you for understanding and it helps to have your support. My visit was great. My BF counselled Dad about Elder rules in Florida because there were things she should have done but didn't know before her husband died 4 months ago. Dad did see me have a "moment" where my brain couldn't process what I was trying to say and he handled it in stride...were you meaning this? Oh duh yeah Daddy. My daughter was complemented by everyone on how great the house looked and hmmmm is proud they were of her...especially me!! I had my CT scan yesterday and the air pocket in the left side has shrunk 40-60% and I HAVE TO QUIT SMOKING.... it's why there's air in there from a 2 mm hole that is having trouble healing. So I started the Chantix this morning... I've been meaning too and kept putting it off. It's for the best and I know that like I know my name 8) Radiation is to start July 22nd as after then it's too late and pointless....

Ok off to finish cooking dinner 1 handed style 8)

Blessings to all of you

MCBaker

I can attribute most of your problems (beyond HER2+ BC and stage 2) to the smoking habit, Nanette. I hate to sound merciless; but for the grace of God (and vaping), I would have been in your situation. Just be careful with the psychological SE of Chantix.

Yes, Nanette, I have taken my insurance to the cleaners with these damnable compression vests. LOL!

ChiSandy

So I'm back from my whirlwind overnight trip to NY to pay a shiva call--my first cousin died Friday night, I didn't find out till Sat., and the funeral was Sunday (his family is observant so they had to inter him ASAP after the Sabbath was over). I couldn't attend the funeral (even if I could have afforded to fly out on such short notice) because my dear friend/ex-boss/mentor's 90th birthday party was Sunday evening (it was a blast). I'm glad I went when I did--the shiva week is over tomorrow morning--because toward the end of the week there are fewer guests and tougher to guarantee a minyan (the quorum of 10 Jews it takes to hold a service). We had a lot of catching up to do since his wife & I hadn't been in touch for years until we started to put together a family tree last fall after we learned of the death of a hitherto unknown cousin in Paris and were contacted by the estate's genealogist.

The last time I flew alone it was for my trip to Amsterdam & Israel a few months ago, and it took a lot out of me (not just the jet lag). So it was with some trepidation that I took this trip. I have a Delta lounge membership, so that definitely took the edge off. I got an insanely cheap roundtrip flight, and even though it was Basic Economy, the small regional jets they use for that run are surprisingly roomy--much more so than the 737s Southwest uses. I got the rental car cheap too, and used loyalty program points for the hotel room. I traveled light (just a rollaboard spinner and lightweight tote for my purse) with a collapsible cane--the combination of the cane & spinner was like having a turbocharged walker. I got a ride from a friend to O'Hare yesterday, but today I decided to take the CTA train home--and though I had to change from the Blue to the Red Line down in the Loop, it was surprisingly painless. Took longer than a taxi or a rideshare, but I didn't have to deal with expressway traffic (and ticking taxi meters), long taxi lines or rideshare surge-pricing fares. Cost the same as my trip home Tues. from my dentist in the Loop. (Unlike NYC, the CTA doesn't charge an extra fare for "the train to the plane"). And I got my steps in, too.

pingpong1953

It's been years since I had a crown put on a tooth, and I remember the days with the goopy impressions and getting a temporary crown and having to go back for the permanent crown. Yesterday I had a crown put on with new technology, and I have to say, it was really cool. For those who aren't familiar with high-tech tooth-crowning, my dentist has a gizmo that scans the tooth after it's been ground down and feeds the measurements to another gizmo that "machines" the crown in about 10 minutes. I walked out with a permanent crown!

IllinoisLady

When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing — then we truly live life. -Greg Anderson

carolehalston

Wow on the dental technology! Bet it hasn't lowered the high price. A bout of dentistry can break the bank.

DH and I have been married 50 years today! Where did the years go? We had an anniversary dinner last night at Boulders Restaurant in Walker, which is elegant and the most upscale restaurant in Hubbard County. When we arrived at 5 pm there were elderly folks waiting for the door to open. And cars driving into the parking lot, all older people. The restaurant offers a special menu and half price cocktails from 5 to 5:30.

Our meal was good and the bill was reasonable.

We will be eating out again today after couples golf with that group.

IllinoisLady

Sandy, glad your trip to NY and back went so well and your timidity turned out to be just a tiny flaw overall. Never seem to know just when things will go a lot better than we expected so with the heat, humidity and all, I'm glad that you did so well. Here's hoping this starts you into much more that goes right.

Ping-pong, same to you. It's great when technology makes life better, easier and quicker ( getting a nicer smile doesn't hurt either ) for all concerned.

Going or my yearly mammo today and having the picture in mind that all goes well. Be glad to move that out of the way. Have a colonoscopy to do which has not been set up yet, and will have to also do a podiatry visit for my awful feet. Chemo gave me fungal issues and my nails are now very thick and seem to grow every which way. I have trouble contorting myself to do all the maneuvers needed to work on my own feet. Primary care Dr. gave this Podiatrist high marks so I've agreed to make an appt. and go to Marion V.A. ( 150 mile rd. trip ) to see her. The male Podiatrists I've seen have been pretty so-so.

Summer sure seems to be speeding along so hope it slows a bit. Outside of too much rain ( the ants have finally left our kitchen ) which so often brings ants in to get out of the rain ( high water table ) we have had a pretty summer. It has stayed a beautiful Spring green. The ants by the way ( why we know ) don't bother food in the kitchen -- they just hang around despite our efforts to curtail them.

Hope you are all going to have a wonderful Friday.

jo6359

illinoislady- even though it's been a year since chemo my toenails and fingernails continue to break. My toenails are especially bad because of fungus. I have resorted to acrylic fingernails which long-term causes even more damage to my real fingernails. There are certain occasions I want my hands to look nice.

Sandy- I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your cousin. What a wonderful opportunity to catch up with your cousin's wife. For many of us, the opportunities to catch up with long lost relatives and friends tend to be funerals and weddings. You managed to deal with the transportation issues without too much difficulty. Kudos to you. That isn't easy to accomplish in New York City.

nanette7fl

Happy Anniversary Carole and Congrats on 50 years too!!

Nail fungus....my neighbor is a nail tech. She saw my fingernails and told me to get Regular Listerine (generic ok) and to soak my nails 20 minutes every day to get it (the fungus) is gone. I finally got a,small bottle of generic and plan on starting this weenend.

Today started out to be a very emotional day. Broke down in tears when DH pulled the tape off my breasts. He looked at me "what have I done wrong this morning?" "It's not you... I'm not having a good day" I honestly think it was my fear of seeing my MO and telling him I had started backup smoking BUT that I started the Chantix 2 days ago and I plan on quitting for good this time. Well he took it better than I projected. I also told him I don't want to stop the Kadcyla because Herceptin and Perjeta together have way too many SE's for me especially considering my SE's on Kadcyla are minimal. What about the neuropathy he asked? Sir, you told me ok 20% of people taking it get neuropathy and mine is from taxol. Remember I even took a 1 week break and then you reduced my final 2 treatments? It hasn't gotten worse and seems to be leveling out to what I have now. I don't like having it but we just have to figure out how to treat it. My days are pretty good but after dinner when I start getting tired it gets bad...real bad. He's going to give me a referral to a pain management dr after I find out if she takes my insurance and is still accepting new patients.

I felt better after talking with him. Especially when he asked what was wrong (with DH sitting in the room) and I unloaded. I'm tired of having cancer, I'm tired of having to deal,with the mastectomy from h3ll, tired of the surgeries, tired of the bandages and tape, tired of being tired, tired of NOT being able to do the things I want to do, tired of babying my left arm, tired of having wounds that heal slowly, and TIRED of having to be strong for everyone because HE doesn't like to see me cry or have a bad day. I WANT to feel like a,woman again... I WANT to LOOK LIKE a woman again.. I WANT to feel normal again and just get on with the rest of my life!! Well he looks me dead I'm the eye and says Mrs Turner you have been the strongest woman I've met yet in this fight. Your positive attitude has done wonders for you so far and honesty I'm surprised you haven't broke down before now. I'm not saying your weak now just saying it takes a strong woman to be to the point about what is eating at you and I promise you will make it to the finish line. Remember at this moment you are cancer free and you don't have to do radiation if you don't want to. I told him No I'd rather just do it and then say I'm done.

So thank you all for listening to my whiny self. Tomorrow is another day one which I'm sure will be MUCH improved over today.

MCBaker

Glad you are venting and willing to go all out to be sure it won't come back. Sorry I was tough on you. Nicotine can be a killer for us.

IllinoisLady

Nicotine can be formidable as well as a killer to many people. Ex-husband, SIL, BIL, and Mom. First two had lung cancer and second two C.O.P.D. I stopped smoking 21 yrs. ago after watching my Mom pass on from her C.O.P.D. Our family ( but it was the males until it happened to my Mom ) has weak lungs it seems. Mom started running in 10-K races at 58 and winning them. So, when she got ill she was diagnosed late and it was a surprise to everyone, including her. I had wanted to stop before Mom passed on ( seems most people make 6 or 7 attempts to do so before success ) and I'm told it is more addictive than heroin. I think that is true. I took Zyban for two weeks ( not sure they use that anymore ) and was able to stop. The prescribed way was to take this med for at least 3 months. I didn't want to do that as I was forgetful and it said if you forgot and took a second pill (only one pill a day needed ) you could very likely have some seizures. So I chose to limit the med and use force of will.

It worked, but I did have quite a struggle. I think it was a yr. and a half or more before I realized that a few weeks had gone by and I had quit thinking about needing to smoke in response to something -- anything. Happy, depressed, angry -- anything good or bad could set me off, for all that time an urge ( though becoming smaller and somewhat less feel able over time, stayed with me. Mental addiction is as hard or harder to get over and though I did pretty well over-all I started to fear that part wasn't going to go away. That was a long, tough hill/mountain. I'll never forget the day I actually realized that it had been about three months and I hadn't thought once about smoking. I was surer than I've ever been about anything that I was completely addiction free then -- of smoking. It was a grand feeling.

Nanette your Dr. is right. The things that make us weak can be our strength. The agony just pushes some to FIND the way out through self reliance. You are indeed very strong to be able to articulate it so well and be vocal about the personal cost of the pain. I 'learned' long after the fact, but you already know now. In my book that gives you every right to have a "whiny" day when you need it. There is great joy and satisfaction in achievement and like your Dr. I think you'll find the way.

IllinoisLady

What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.

Joseph Addison

If a child smiles, if an adult smiles, that is very important. If in our daily lives we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. If we really know how to live, what better way to start the day than with a smile? Our smile affirms our awareness and determination to live in peace and joy. The source of a true smile is an awakened mind.

Thich Nhat Hanh